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Reviews
Lisa e il diavolo (1973)
I may be the only person to like it.
OK, the plot was pretty lousy. It didn't make sense. And the actors weren't given much to work with. But it's Eurohorror and I haven't seen many that make any sense. Most rely on gore and atmosphere. The latter is where they get their charm. I used to love to watch European horror films of the late sixties, early seventies on late night TV. They were obviously dubbed and the plots made little sense. Italian horror is renowned for being schlocky; in fact, it's expected. But they were so heavy on atmosphere which made them quite creepy. And the location shots give a great view of Europe from this time period. The music is also effectively creepy. I just saw this film for the first time a couple of nights ago and enjoyed it. I happened to catch it on late night television. I don't catch too many of these, these days. The time slot is usually given to infomercials or other crap. It is a bygone era, so I welcomed a viewing of this film. Not great, but fun late night viewing if nothing more than nostalgia's sake. Since the film made little sense, I drew my own conclusions.
Pearl Harbor (2001)
Was this a good film or not?
For a new release, the DVD had a pretty reasonable price, but I wanted to find out more about the movie before spending my money. I had really hoped for a movie on the level of say Saving Private Ryan, as the movie trailers led me to believe, but I now understand that this is not such a film. There are a lot of reviews, here, but none of them really gave what I consider to be an intelligent or convincing argument as to whether this IS or IS NOT worth viewing. Perhaps the following will be of some help to others who, like myself, want to make an informed decision before watching or purchasing this film. In the margin to the left, click on External Reviews, then click on Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times for an insightful review on this film. I will probably just rent it, now, rather than buy it.
Scavenger Hunt (1979)
Here's a great film for someone's scavenger hunt list . . . scarce, but worth the look.
Reviews I have read in movie guides quickly dismiss this film as minor, forgettable fluff. I saw this movie as a kid (they used to play it occasionally on the late show) and have watched it again more recently, and I think it is really good. It's funny and has a great ensemble cast of talented 70s stars. It's fast paced and just basically a lot of fun. I'm not suggesting it should have received an academy award or anything, but it's great family entertainment. I'm hoping someone will release it on DVD. It is one of my favorite memorable movies. Maybe I am just too nostalgic. It's in the same vein as It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World and the more recent Rat Race. Good, clean fun. Feel-good movie.
Thir13en Ghosts (2001)
The Real Horror In This Movie Is The Plot And Acting
The ghosts aren't the only thing dead in this flick. I went to this film expecting to receive some real chills and shocks . . . BUT NOT ONE!! Yes, there is lots of action and gore, but there is really nothing stimulating, just a lot of mindless junk.
Obviously, all efforts were put into the special effects, while the plot AND acting were like something from a junior high school play--sloppy, unprofessional, very poorly done. The house is the real star, but is wasted HERE. The house is actually pretty cool and had potential, but for this alone is not worth the price of admission. The characters were all two-dimensional. Matthew Lillard plays one of the main characters, if that tells you anything. I can't believe anyone actually pays this doofus to "act"--if that is what you want to call it. He couldn't act if his life depended on it (and in this film, IT DOES). They must have spent all of their money on the special effects and couldn't afford any real talent--aside from Tony Shalhoub, whom I happen to like, but he wasn't given much to work with, and I'm not sure about Shannon Elizabeth since she is never given any roles with substance. Matthew Lillard just keeps doing the same "I'm CRAZY, maaaan . . . I'm on the freakin' edge, maaan . . .I'm straining to make my face red like I might go postal or possibly pull a groin muscle" routine. I kept thinking, "Please, somebody put him (and us) out of his misery early in the film so we do not have to suffer through this. They even use the cliched "kid with a speech impediment for cuteness effect"--cheap manipulation. Most of the characters are really not that likeable or just have no depth so that they really do not elicit any sympathy from the audience. We are not given any cause to really care what happens to them. Actually, the special effects are uneven. Here we have this elaborate sci-fi house, but the blood looks like red ink. Blood is thick and opaque, not watery and transparent. Might have wanted to do a little research on that one (heavy dose of sarcasm).
***Possible Spoilers Ahead*** Here are a few things that I think deserve explanation. 1) If the family is so poor that they can't pay their bills or keep an apartment, how can they afford a live-in babysitter/housekeeper 2) who refuses to do any work and can't even watch the stupid kid for a few minutes? 3) OK, all of the ghosts have died violent deaths . . .granted. But did they all die in the Spanish Inquisition or were they residents of Bedlam or what? The intricate torture devises are like something H.R. Geiger designed. 4) And if dying a violent death causes them to become deadly, then what about the mother? 5) Where do these cheesy half-witted ancient texts that supposedly hold the key to another dimension and exercise power over the dead come from in all these films? Miss Cleo? Not Einstein, that's for sure. 6) If some ancient mystic designed this house, how do you account for modern appliances and why the unnecessary, extravagant, priceless furnishings? 7) Shop glasses that allow you to see the dead? 8) Why don't you need them to see the dead uncle? If he's not really dead, why didn't he stitch that gash and change clothes, for crying out loud? 9) What's up with the cheap transparent raincoats everyone is wearing during the film's opening sequence? They obviously don't protect them from ghosts. (There are other plot holes that stood out, but I am too tired to remember them.) Just give us one thing that we can actually swallow and accept as a remote possibility.
The concept for this movie is a great idea, but falls flat due to bad writing and acting. They should have stuck to making MTV videos and left filmmaking to the professionals. This movie continuously insults the audience's intelligence. They try to set up some plot-twists that are pretty thin. I long for earlier days of horror films when filmmakers did not rely solely on special effects to carry a film, but rather on intelligent storylines and plot, good atmosphere, and solid acting. I am not against special effects, it's just that they could be used more effectively to create suspense if there was an intelligent (and intelligible) plot to follow. Hollywood is contributing to the dumbing-down of society with crap like this. (One positive note: There were no Matrix/Crouching Tiger-style fight scenes--THAT idea has been milked just a little too often.) I think the story gave a few nods to Hellraiser (a scarier film)--Like the puzzlebox from Hellraiser, the house itself is a puzzle which has ancient encryptions and is the key to another dimension. And of course the ghosts which look like the tortured Cenobites of Hellraiser. I have never seen the original William Castle version, and based on my knowledge of his films, it probably wasn't any better, but if you're looking for a good haunted house movie, try The Haunting (The original--The remake was another movie that relied too much on special effects), The Legend of Hell House, or The Sentinel. (Sorry, no special effects, here, just good, creepy fun.) For good scares AND special effects, see John Carpenter's remake of The Thing. If you liked the remake of House on Haunted Hill, then go ahead and throw away another $6.50. All others look for scares elsewhere.
Thriller: Sleepwalker (1976)
Obscure, suspenseful made-for-TV British film in the House of Hammer mold.
I saw this on TV as a child and found it very creepy. Since I have not been able to find it from that time, I cannot say if my views have changed. My memory is a little vague, but, as I recall, a woman has problems with somnambulism--she walks in her sleep. One night while sleepwalking, she discovers a secret passage in the house where she stays. From some sort of a balcony, she witnesses a murder. When she awakes, she is uncertain of whether it is real or a dream. Everyone else dismisses it as a dream. Apparently, she cannot positively identify the murderer, so she does not know who to trust. I have always thought this was part of Hammer's House of Horror series, but apparently it is not, yet it very much has the same look and feel. I would like to have given a better review, but since I cannot find it, it is difficult to remember the details. I DO know that I liked it. Since no one else has yet to review it, I thought perhaps my review might spark the memory of someone else who has seen it and might review it in more accurate detail.