jonnyc4u Reviews

Ed Wood (1994)

Love it! Don't sweat-er the small stuff

[14 January 2002]

I don't know what it was about J.D. that annoyed me many years ago. Maybe it was the way he got hyped by promoters early in his career. But it was Gilbert Grape, Ed Wood and Edward Scissorhands that gave me a lot of respect for this guys character range. He is an excellent actor. Ed Wood is one of those films I could see many times. I've never understood why it didn't do better, though I heard some scuttlebutt over the black and white issue. What a load a Cr*P! Color is completely over-rated in my opinion.

For me a profound spoiler moment in this film: was B.L. the aging/forgotten star actor trying to make a comeback. We're all going to face a moment sometime in our lives (where symbolically speaking) we find ourselves shooting up heroin in the car right before we go out to overexert ourselves and shoot the wrestling with the giant octopus scene. Is there going to be a hero Director out there trying to squeeze the last bit of star dust out of your faded career? That makes Ed Wood the hero for me. There is the real truth. It's not about the movie it's about the people making the movie.

I also love the truth of the low budget cinema. Who in that world doesn't want their ounce of blood from you? I truly believe that if you could screw yourself over to get something you needed for your film you'd do it. Oh right, that goes without saying. That's usually the first thing you do.

I think Eddies biggest mistake was taking that sweater out of the closet. Who knows what kind of award winning films he could have made if he'd just had a teddybear to give him confidence.

The Matrix (1999)

Great Science Fiction just a couple of drawbacks

[9 January 2002]

Drawback #1 K.R. I'm sure he is a nice guy, but almost every performance I've seen of his... I don't quite know how to describe it without sounding cruel. The words monotone and deadpan come to mind. Just about every movie I've seen this guy in comes across that way, with the exception of Bill and Ted's... but I think that was a good example of excellent type casting. K.R. continues to land leading man roles and I hope that something happens to free up the multitude of his unused, lazy, facial muscles and maybe some vocal training could help to vary some tone. Respectively, they sure come in handy during close ups and it might make the sound guy work a little harder.

Drawback #2 The martial arts scenes...(if you could call it that) Let's just say karate... What cool special effects... to me a poor substitute for sloppy martial arts... nothing I hate more than watching slow martial artists(karate trainees) being made to look good. But not everyone can be a Jackie Chan. Anyone who really knows what martial arts is about... knows it takes many years to really get that good and to be really effective.

Other than those two drawbacks I thought this film was very entertaining. I give it an 8... and a 0 Poke*.

*Poke score = the number of times my wife had to jab me in the ribs to wake me up to continue watching a film.

Seven Beauties (1975)

One of the top 20 best films I've ever seen

[9 January 2002]

or Seven Beautys... You can't spoil this film...

This picture changed the way I look at film. It's hard to know where to begin... other than to start out by saying this is A MUST SEE FILM. Many notable images comes to mind when I think back to the way this film affected me. The sisters, the farting dead guy, the pure stupidity of the protagonist, Mussolini, The crazy nose biting babe, The pathetic love song/whistling/seduction scene of the fat Nazi B**ch.

It's very interesting watching this character do anything it takes to survive and yet ironic that he was thrust into the whole mess in the first place by his own foolish pride.

What moves me about this film is that it makes a huge jump from comedic to dramatic and in doing so brings about a more profound emotional experience for the viewer. We having been opened up by the humorous surgeon are now twice as vulnerable to the pain of the truth of the drama. Something I've noted many times from the work of master Neil Simon.

The use of symbolism and lighting are excellent in this picture and go a long way toward supporting the filmic elements. The acting is top drawer. This is a very powerful film and I wish there were many more like it in the world.

I rate this film a 10+ and a 0 poke*

*see my other reviews for a definition.

Black and White in Color (1976)

Very telling picture of war...

[9 January 2002]

At the time I'm writing this we are at war in the USA. I would hope that anyone worn down by the reality of these times would see this picture. What a testament to the insanity.

My favorite part in this movie is when the natives are traveling and singing as they carry the lazy priests along their journey. The translations of the lyrics are hilarious, considering the pompous priests have no idea what they are singing and think its rather quaint.

A 10 and a 0 poke.*

*see my other reviews for poke definition

Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)

Well here's one I've seen more than 50 times

[9 January 2002]

You English (Caaa-nigg-itts) says the taunting French knight from the castle. I had to watch this film at least 7 times before I realized he was mis-pronouncing the word "Knights"

God this is a funny movie. There is something magical about a group effort. You can tell... plus I've always noticed that the less money you have the more creative you have to be. I'm sure many a studio executive has been stumped at the secret to making a cult classic. I think poor, driven, crazy and brilliant are some of the ingredients in that cake.

I could go on and on about this movie. There isn't a scene I couldn't recall or a line I couldn't parrot.(pardon the pun) But suffice to say that the day this movie was born a new genre in comedy was delivered to the world.

Killer rabbits... who'd of thought. I wonder who ended up with that fluffy, bloody piece of memorabilia.

It cracks me up when I hear kids these days amusing themselves by going over the dialogue with one another. Something very familiar to my pals and I back in the 80's. An amazing timeless classic. So simple yet so profound yet so absolutely whacky.

Now the question is: How fast is the air speed velocity of a Producer pitching a remake offer of Monty Python and the Holy Grail to his studio heads?

Answer: As fast as he can fly after getting his As* kicked out of the bungalow.

Say is that an eastern European producer or Western?

What? I don't know. Ahhhhhhhh!!!!

Woman in the Dunes (1964)

It's like being at the bottom of an hour glass...

[10/10 · 9 January 2002]

The sand keeps raining in... but how much time does our hero have?

A Brilliant film...

A claustrophobic's nightmare...

The poor bug collector... He picked the wrong day to go hunting only to end up the hunted. The director like some cruel child torturing a helpless insect tosses us into the sand pit and forces us to experience the sensory deprivation of the protagonist.

This simple film becomes a complex study of human nature. This is a great analysis of the power of psychological terror. The breaking down of the human will and self imposed morality brought about by our fight against our evolutionary roots. The sand slowly, methodically and endlessly strips and beats away our hero's layers of humanity and reveals the animal under the clothing of civilized man.

One of top 20 favorite films of all time. Don't miss this!

A 10 and a 0 poke*

*see my other reviews for a definition

A Knight's Tale (2001)

We will... we will... bore you... An *8 POKE

[4 January 2002]

How many times can a knight break a lance? I think it stopped being really cool after the third time and certainly became mundane after the 10th and then truly beaten to death the 40th.

I was looking forward to watching this film when the trailers first started surfacing and never got around to seeing it until Jan 2002.

Without ever having seen it I would rise to the defense of the directors choice of adding modern music to the score, thinking that this kind of approach might add something fresh to the otherwise formula driven American cinema. But after watching it... all I found was that it distracted me from the story and made me wonder what the creative minds behind this project were smoking when they dreamed up the concept... This very close resemblance to a "walking film."

The mixture of modern and period didn't seem to support one another very well and I found myself remembering the story of "1984" by George Orwell... "He who controls the past control the future..." Whether it be costumes, dialogue, mannerisms, I didn't find myself liking the past the writer created for me. Full of punks and lords. "Thus thy speakth thy narly surfing verbage, oh sweet Knight of the realm might thy sword find thy rad sheath are you down with that Sir Back Street Lad?"

Watching this film was like making a visit to psychic friends network. For Lo and Behold the plot did unveil itself as clearly as the answer template to a SAT test.

I liked all of the acting except for the hero's babe. She cat-walked her way through this film like a guest star on 90210 playing the new girl everyone hates. I really wanted this film to get better. I really wanted to stay awake. But I have to rate it at a 4 for attempting something different. But on my other rating scale I give an *"8 POKE."

* An 8 POKE = the number of times my wife had to jab me in the ribs to keep me conscious to finish watching the film.

Once again The Director/Writers have taken fine actors and placed them in career peril...

America's Sweethearts (2001)

it's all in the eyes and the director...

[2 January 2002]

I love all the people cast in this film. I love their body of work as actors. All of them in my opinion have earned the right to shine and bask in everlasting greatness and glow on the sidewalk of stars in the milky way forever. I have so much respect for Julia Roberts, John Cusack, Billy Crystal, etc. All of them very gifted, natural, capable performers. But I feel it takes a good director to use that talent and get the most from an actor… Maybe some of them like to be left on their own. But baby some of them can't be left unguided and you have to trick them into thinking they're pedaling on their own and that you're not holding the banana seat. So what's my point? Directors should direct films… not producers. Hold that thought… If I directed this film it would have been a smash hit. That is after I ran the script through the shredder, started from scratch 3 weeks before principal filming and insisted on firing several people. Not easy to do when you have a powerful writer/actor/producer in the mix. But that's where it takes talent, insanity and big brass b***s to just say, "Shut up! I know we have to shoot by such and such but you're not going to give a S**T about deadlines or inflated salaries if this film drops a tail into the porcelain altar." I hate the practice of studios finding directors they can push around and then blame them if things go south... maybe that's not the case here but if it's not... then maybe it should have been. Who knows? But here's what I look for...

SOMETIMES YOU CAN SEE IT IN THE ACTORS EYES. A slight flicker or look or distracted glimmer that telegraphs to the well trained film viewing cornea the thespians thoughts in the moment. A sub-textual leakage from character to real person:

ACTOR: "I've now seen for myself where this movie is going. We have shot enough scenes for me to piece together that this film is slow and is going to suck..." HOPEFUL CREW MEMBER: (whispering to another)"Maybe they can fix it in Post. But I don't see how they can get around..." , "Sshhh!"

I saw that look in more than one pair of strained performers eyes as I viewed this film. Their thoughts continue:

ACTOR: "There is no saving it now. Okay... I'm getting paid. Now I am NOT having fun acting any more... I am now chained to this film and even though I originally loved the script, now I secretly resent everyone for casting me in this bad film. You have now taken a bite out of my career and no amount of money can fix that if the next film I'm in sucks too... I'm wanting my Mommy" Talk about irony... this film seems to partially be a parody about star/career/damage control/paranoia. If I was in their shoes I wouldn't look back for fear of salty consequences...

This movie slowed down and it got boring in parts. I lay most of the blame on the director. That's what directors should be for anyway. They have the hardest job and eat heat... and unless the actors tank it, I otherwise point the grim finger at the director. I think he should go back to producing... Also... I noticed some different camera angles on Julia Roberts and John Cusack that I had never really seen before... amazing to find on such well photographed beings. Refreshing in some ways... yet unflatteringly and anti-photographic in others.

I love these actors. Hank A. & Christopher W. funny muses, funny choices. Speaking of choices... choose your directors wisely. How many dogs can you fit into one career & still keep the audience coming? Ask those stars that now have regular jobs...

JC

Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)

I will always love the story-line, the director, the science fiction, but...

[26 December 2001]

Let me start out by saying I admire Samuel L. Jackson's body of work as an actor. I respect that he is one of the top 50 actors in the world...

Okay now, here's my problem... and believe me it's my problem because I'm sitting out their in Po-dunk watching your movie that I paid a ticket for...

Why did they cast Samuel L. Jackson as one of the Jedi Buddha's? What the bloody $#@*%&/ where they thinking. Sorry but you should of put a alien face on him and now it's too late. He is too recognizable and you didn't suspend belief for one microsecond ... you fired it out of a laser cannon.

What happened to the magic of using unknowns? Sometimes we like to get to learn to know people (strangers) without their box office draw figures being part of the criteria in casting. But then again... to counter that thought>>>

What about little Darth's Mom? Why her? Who was she related too? How did you pry her picture off the box of Metamucil and get her to move around. I know what they were looking for. I can practically read the casting specs. "Down to earth Mom type. Strong but quiet and a co-dependent quality about her so we can somehow make sense of how little Darthy went bad in the years before the Jedi could detect his mita-chloride particles that had run amuck.

Sure it's hard to top a movie as great and legendary as this one. But for God's sake. Please be dutiful with the casting from now on!!! I'm sure we'd like to see more aliens that don't have legs and arms as well. How about a few telekinetic amoeba that use flatulence as a weapon and a greeting?

The Mummy (1999)

Why why why Brendan Fraser?

[26 December 2001]

Okay... this may sound harsh... And I'm sure BF is a real stand up guy and all when he's off screen and I really wouldn't blame him all to much for being in this film (maybe his manager via a nice working paycheck) plus the sequel... but what in blazes was casting thinking when they green-lighted his role in these two films.

I would equate it to casting Tatoo from Fantasy island as Dr. Zhivago.

Come on give me a flipping break... I immediately stopped believing in his character and every actor coming into contact with him within a one mile radius. I've never quite seen an actor "glaze" through a role like this one. Plus with his "acting" played opposite super cool special effects it just made his "performance" seem even more contrived. Sure it's not easy working around special effects when you can't see what's there. But the same goes for performances... cause I kept waiting for his to show up! I think what we got was his chit chat around the craft service table...

I felt like I got to meet Indiana Jones' 3rd cousin who dropped one to many hits of vitamin A in high school. And still didn't get to hang out with the cool guys...

There's really something wrong with wanting the Mummy to win. I sure did.

I wanted the mummy to wrap him up and deliver him to the front porch of Uda H. in a bassinet with a note pinned on him, "Don't ever let me make this much money again until I really really deserve it" PS. "What's a subtext?"

I'd say more about the other actors but It's hard to comment when you can't see straight from the blinding light of ignorant casting.

What's next for Mummy III, IV and V. Let me guess... a gigantic casting agent chases after him and his friends and forces them to be in other block-busters... but don't worry our hero will win the day... ... he'll be consistent. :( YIKES!!!

A Fish Called Wanda (1988)

What a comedy!!!

[10/10 · 22 December 2001]

There are a lot of movies out there I would never watch more than once! I've seen this one more than 20 times.

How could anything ever go wrong when you have such brilliant casting as is on this film. I never tire of the in's and outs of the comedic performances in this piece! John Cleese, Michael Palin, Jamie Lee Curtis and that other American person... oh yeah Kevin Kline. Superb!!!

What a great story!

I would kill to work with any of these actors/writers/directors. It makes you wonder why french fries had any other purpose!

There is nothing more enjoyable than watching actors that gel when working together!!! You just know they are having fun despite long hours/political issues/producers paranoid delusions... they surpass the trite work experience and blossom into a powerful comedic steam rolling ensemble. :)

In my opinion... John Cleese deserved and continues too (long past due) deserve multiple Academy awards for his numerous outstanding performances and contributions to the world and art of comedy... His dry wit and ability to nail the elusive fundamentals of comedic hooks have always been and I surmise always will be a trademark of his exhaustive talent and never ending skill at making all of us laugh.

Michael Palin continues repeatedly to nail us!!! Big Surprise!!! He is the cats meow of comedy or in this case the dog stalker of drama!

Jamie Lee! What a joy!! She makes the word sexy have to re-define it's own definition. She is one of the few actresses I can think of that can modify a character that doesn't have residual goo clinging from the last one that may of stero-typed her. Mind you sexy is sexy, but she always seems to bypass the chains of the last audiences memory. How does she manage it?

And Kevin Kline in my opinion emerged from his cocoon on this one. Not to down play his past acting victories but it was the first film I ever saw him in where I really saw him. You know?

It just goes to show what happens when brilliant minds get together... brilliant things happen. In this case... as an audience... we all win! Many thanks need to go to these hard working, unabashed and shy introspective group of performers!!!

JC

Frankie and Johnny (1991)

Michelle Pheiffer is more beautiful in person than on screen.

[8/10 · 21 December 2001]

I thought the film was great and I have always felt that it was under-rated by the critical powers at be... I liked the chemistry between Mr. P and Ms. P. I enjoyed and found very refreshing the realness of the characters and how Mr. Marshall captured and juxtaposed them filmicly.

I liked feeling frustrated that they were not having the easiest time getting together. I mean you knew it was inevitable and yet Mr. Marshall kept it from being obvious as to how it would happen, and I feel he told the story well. And there were plenty of moments he made me laugh out loud.

I had the fortunate luck of being an extra in this film and I can tell you it was really cool to be sitting behind Michelle P. on that arduous bus ride around Sacramento. Funny thing was I had to endure several hours before that, riding around in a follow van with a BIG WHITE SHAGGY DOG SITTING ON ME before I made it on to the bus. That's a long story (I guess it adopted itself to the shoot somewhere during production) I remember Garry Marshall walking by the window and staring in at me... He kind of shot me a strange look... Like, "who's the dumb smuck with the big white shaggy dog sitting on him?" As luck would not have it the Dog probably would become discovered as the next rising star before struggling actor I would. Dammit!! I was ready to be the next Mork. Oh well... :) Despite the fleas... I really enjoyed the film. I would recommend it to anyone.

JC