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Reviews
U.F.O. Abduction (1989)
Just the sort of spine-chilling film I want to see!
I saw this film on one of the Sky Movie channels last night. I missed the beginning and just happened to flick to this channel as there was nothing else on.
So, I can't comment on whether the film is slow to start or not, because I started watching at around 20 minutes in. This is just the sort of film I like to watch. Made to be as real as possible (it's obviously fake, BTW, not in the sense that it LOOKS fake, but had it been real, would it really be aired on national television? I don't think so! Oh, and it's got the actors names at the end of the film!). Darkened hallways, realistic portrayal of absolute terror by the cast, SOME decent special effects, etc... Great stuff.
However, it does start to ruin the film when the aliens make their full appearance (as I said, I missed the beginning of the film, so I don't know how much you see of the first encounter). They look fake, although I like the way the camera goes all fuzzy when they are nearby - in a way, it tries to mask the Dr. Who costumes. I've always said, these things work best when you never fully see what is scaring the cast - just the glimpse from the corner of the eye, or as it disappears out of sight or something.
All in all, I'd give this film 9/10. I liked the BWP film (first viewing only). This one was longer, and was generally more chilling than BWP. One problem - I didn't really seem to care whether the cast survived or not. And the kid was just plain annoying.
Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)
What the hell was he thinking???
Maybe it's just that I am one of the ones who grew up with Star Wars (I still remember going to see ROTJ when I was 6 years old), but this film was a HUGE disappointment.
There was so much hype surrounding it when it was released, and I'd heard that it was not much good, but I finally got the chance to see it the other day (just had Sky Digital installed).
It wasn't ALL bad. It had some pretty decent moments. But on the whole it was pretty dire. What can I say that hasn't already been said? Not much.
Jar Jar Binks. What's with that then? Has Lucas gone insane or something? You can see where he was going with it - trying to make the film more acceptable to children (I didn't really understand the original trilogy until I was about 10-11 years old), but in doing so, he's alienated the adult community like myself who could relate the events of the film to the original three. Binks is a BIG failure, as I'm sure tha majority of people agree. If Lucas doesn't leave the character out of Ep 2, he might as well not bother with Ep 3!
Plot inconsistencies. Not too many that I can think of. The big one being that in 4/5/6, Kenobi was supposedly trained by Yoda. In 1, he's been trained by Qui-Gon Jinn.
To sum up, this is fine as a kids film, but if you're one of the original Star Wars fans, you won't find much satisfaction here.
One last point: "Attack of the Clones"??? Yup, Lucas has gone insane.
Pitch Black (2000)
Not bad, but hardly original.
I saw this film on DVD last night. In short, I thought it was pretty good, but not exactly original. The basic plot has been done many times before (e.g. Alien/Aliens). It had a number of good points. The special effects were pretty good, even though it is apparent that the CGI animators STILL haven't quite got the hang of colouring and lighting - some of the creatures look out of place due to the mismatch of colouring.
It also had a few technical flaws, such as the double-ringed gas-giant planet (which I'm sure is not possible), and also the fact that the double-eclipse to block the light from both light-sources would be unlikely to occur every 22 years - it would happen on a much larger time scale.
Aside from these technical flaws, though, it was a moderately scary film, although I have seen much worse.
In all, I'd give it 7/10.
Father Ted (1995)
"That would be an ecumenical m~YES!"
It almost seems pointless writing this review, given the response it has already had from the other reviewers. I'm not going to say any different. This is not only the funniest Irish comedy ever, it's one of THE funniest comedies ever (not counting Blackadder).
A word of warning. This comedy is more about stupidity and stupid actions than the American style of sitcom, which is generally about sex and relationships, so it is probably not for everyone.
The programme takes a situation which has very little opportunity for comedy and creates the most crazy humour yet seen on TV. While the show revolves around the four main characters, Ted, Dougal, Jack and Mrs Doyle, it also has an incredibly funny support cast, especially Bishop Len Brennan!
One of my favourite aspects of the show is the priests with different characteristics. We have the main three characters as a lying, scheming priest, a stupid priest and an alcoholic priest. We also have an extremely sarcastic priest, the priest with the most boring voice, an unlucky priest, a dancing priest, an enthusiastic (and very annoying!) priest (Graham Norton), a depressed priest, and many others.
Favourite quote:
DOUGAL: "Hello Len!"
BISHOP BRENNAN: "Don't call me Len you little pr*ck! I'm a Bishop."
DOUGAL: "Oh right. Well done."
So, to re-iterate in simple terms: "WATCH THIS NOW!" I guarantee you'll be hooked (provided you've got the right sense of humour)!!!
The Blair Witch Project (1999)
Overall, a good piece of work...
I went to see this film despite many people telling me not to bother. People were telling me that it was awful, that the camera work made them ill, or, even worse, that "there were no special effects in it".
I went anyway. I thought it was a refreshing change from the usual Hollywood cr*p that's released. At the time, the film really did scare me (a little!). I felt my pulse rising in parts of the film, and I generally felt anxious - something that rarely happens to me from watching a film of any sort.
I missed out on most of the plot links the first time, and it wasn't until later that I realised the significance of some features of the plot, for example, Mike facing the corner at the end of the film, or the three piles of rocks outside the tent.
As I said, this film was a refreshing change to the normal Hollywood horror film you get these days. You don't get to see what's actually frightening the trio - there are no ludicrous CGI monsters, no over-to-top gore effects. It's an original piece of work, that worked out very well for the writers/directors.
Although many films and series have tried to emulate this film since its release, I don't think it would ever work again. This line is closed.
I watched the film again a couple of nights ago. This time it didn't scare me at all. I suppose it was because I knew what was going to happen.
So, to summarise. The Blair Witch Project is a refreshing break from the norm. It's original and it's genuinely spooky. BUT, don't watch it more than once - it's a waste of time.
Operation Delta Force (1997)
Highly unrealistic, brainless action
Bear in mind that I haven't seen this film since it first came out on Channel 5 about a year ago.
This film has one of the most stupid scenes I've ever seen in a film of its type. The bit where they are dropped off by helicopter to the bottom of that railway bridge, and then climb up the bridge supports to the top. WHY????? WHY NOT JUST GET THE HELI TO DROP YOU OFF AT THE TOP???
Anyway, apart from that little annoyance, which actually adds a little humour to the film (from our point of view), this film is utterly cr*p. Simple as that.
It's plain to see that the writers/directors didn't do any homework on spec ops. Our highly trained heroes stand out in the open, shoot from the hip at targets 200 metres away and get them every time, while the enemy couldn't hit the Titanic from 2m away. This is brainless, team-based Rambo action.
I personally wouldn't waste my time even rating this film, except that now I'm here, I might as well. Can the rating system take negative numbers???
Who Dares Wins (1982)
Slightly tedious plot, but breathtaking action sequences.
This is a film I'd heard of years ago, but never got around to watching it until yesterday.
While the plot seems a little slow at times (an illusion created by watching too many hollywood action movies), and (as many people here have commented) the dialog can get a little cheesy, add to the fact that the hairstyles, clothing, vehicles, etc... look dated now. But that's not what I was watching the film for.
The actual action sequences in the film are typical special operations style action sequences, i.e. they're over practically before they've started! This film, if not realistic (I'm sure it is, but as someone who doesn't know how the SAS really operate, I couldn't comment), is totally believable. From the handover by the police to the military, through the planning phase of the operation, the MOE (fast-roping from helicopters onto the roof, then abseiling down the side of the building), the total communication throughout the assault. It's absolutely breathtaking.
This is no Hollywood Action Movie. It's totally different from the likes of "Operation Delta Force", etc... There are no cheesy one-liners when a terrorist is dropped. There is no jumping about, emptying whole magazines (and more!) into people, shooting from the hip at targets 200 metres away and hitting them with the first shot, while snipers on the opposite side couldn't hit the Titanic from 2 metres away.
So, to sum up, I'd give the plot, characters and acting 7/10, but the action sequences, I'd wholeheartdly give 12/10! Fantastic stuff...
Thief II: The Metal Age (2000)
Only one word fully describes this game - AWESOME!!!
Even after almost three years, Thief: The Dark Project remains my favourite game of all time. Thief II: The Metal Age, while not as good in terms of the plot, or of the characters, is still an excellent game and comes highly recommended.
In my (quite extensive) knowledge of FP computer games, no other game comes close to recreating the tense atmosphere. Just you wait until you get to the "Haunted Library" in the levels "Casing the Joint" and "Masks" - you'll see what I mean!!! :)
The Dark Engine (on which the game is based) may look slightly dated now compared to newer games, but it has some fantastic features. The best of which is the sound-propogation. Thief II (as with the original) relies heavily on situational awareness, and the Dark Engine pulls it off superbly - just by listening, you can tell exactly where the enemy is, whether just around the corner or walking around on the floor above. Add to this the Environmental Audio effects and I can guarantee that you'll not sleep for a week!!!
On the whole, I preferred the undead from the original game to the new mechanical monsters in this game as an adversary, but none-the-less, Thief II is an excellent game with a huge fan base.
If you haven't bought this game yet, buy it now. It'll get you into practice for the third game in the series, under construction by Ion Storm Austin (of Deus Ex fame), and is currently estimated to be released in the Autumn of 2002 (but I personally think it may be a little later!)