wroache Reviews

National Lampoon's European Vacation (1985)

Worst of the Vacation Movies

[11 April 2002]

I hated this film. I LOVED the first, liked the third (Christmas), and enjoyed the fourth (Vegas). This one was simply horrible. In my opinion, the European setting had nothing to do with it. The movie was simply unfunny and boring. It had the potential to be a great movie but was written and timed very badly. Clark and Ellen just did not seem like the same couple from the first.

I just got this movie on DVD, which has a commentary by Chevy Chase. I found it interesting that he seemed to make quite a few negative remarks about different scenes in the film. It seemed like even Chevy wasn't very happy with.

I wouldn't go as far to say, not to see this film but I would highly recommend that a person see #1, #3, and #4 first before venturing into this one. The order doesn't really matter anyhow, in this series.

Black Hawk Down (2001)

Best War Move EVER ! ! !

[10/10 · 17 February 2002]

First of all, several posters (mostly non-Americans) seem to have doubts about the performances in the film. They don't seem to understand, that this movie is not about American soldiers or even Rangers but rather 75th Ranger Regiment Rangers. There is a big difference. 75th Rangers are the most Hoorah soldiers in the United States Army. If anything, I think these movie Rangers are a little subdued compared to real 75th Rangers.

Second, people whine about the poor dead 1000 Somalis not being honored. Those fighters were basically gangsters supporting a warlord who used starvation, as a tool to control his people. In any case, no American was recorded dragging a half-naked dead Somali thru the streets in "celebration", like the Somalis did to a dead American. Yeah, they are real nice people - NOT !!!

Third, people complained about how confusing and surreal the movie was. That is one of the best parts of the movie. War, especially close urban combat, can be very confusing and surreal. The movie didn't try to smooth over the rough edges, which added to the realism.

I personally know, at least two former Rangers that were in Somalia and they indicated that this movie was very accurate (as far as a movie can be). I'll take their word over a bunch of sensitive, never been in the military doves.

M*A*S*H (1970)

Horrible Movie

[1/10 · 27 November 2001]

I got my first glimpse of M*A*S*H* the television series when I was young because my mom would always watch the show. As, I grew older I became (an still am) a fan of the series. Not the best series ever made and it had its down points but overall, it was an enjoyable series.

Many years later, I saw M*A*S*H* the movie. I couldn't believe that such a wonderful series could be based off such a horrible movie. I have watched it several times since and my opinion gets lower everytime, I see it.

Hawkeye and Trapper John were total scumbags that should be sitting in a stockade. They sexually harass women non-stop, misuse their medical authority, and are a bunch of drunks. They are not generally nice doctors caught up in a horrible war, like in the TV series. These guys are just nasty punks.

The great "comedy" of this movie, just isn't there, be it black comedy, straight, slapstick or whatever. A plot of any kind doesn't exist. And the whole thing is plain boring. And the editing of every copy that I have ever watched sucks, making for a very disjointed experience.

And to top it off, this movie is hardly anti-war, at all. I cannot understand, how it ever could have been considered, as such.

If you want good comedy, great characters, and very sad and moving anti-war material, watch the series. If you wanna see confusing, meaningless crap, then watch the movie.

Bully (2001)

A Very Dark Movie

[10/10 · 31 July 2001]

Larry Clark's newest film, "Bully" is a non-stop ride of explicit sex, violence, and drugs, in much the same spirit, as his hit film "Kids". Unlike "Kids", "Bully" is based on a true story that occurred in Hollywood (a suburb of Ft Lauderdale), Florida in July 1993.

Mr. Clark based this movie heavily on the book, "Bully" by Jim Schutze. VERY heavily. In fact, up until after the murder, the movie pretty much reads line for line out of the book. After, the murder Mr. Clark takes a little creative licensing on events. For example, Marty Puccio's house was not raided by the police in real life. He turned himself in. It was Derek Kaufman 'The Hitman' whose house was raided. But these are small quibbles. Also, Mr. Clark didn't cover any of the trials or much of the post-murder police investigation. But, again, these are minor in terms of the story he is portraying.

Two bigger changes that Mr. Clark made was Bobby and Marty's supposed steroid use and Lisa's weight problem. In the book, Marty and Bobby are portrayed as muscle bound steroid users, with steroid aggression, beating up on anybody that got in their way. Whether they actually used steroids or not, Marty and Bobby were very well built in real life. Compare a photo of the real Bobby Kent to one of actor Nick Stahl and you'll see what I mean. The reason, I bring this up, is the book makes it easier to see why people were intimidated and fearful of Bobby Kent. It is kind of hard seeing Mr. Stahl as this ruthless bully.

In the book, Mr. Schutze makes a big point of Lisa Connelly's weight problem. In the movie Lisa (played by Rachel Miner) is very thin and in good shape. The weight problem, which caused her to have problems with getting boyfriends in the book, makes her determination of staying with Marty despite abuse and rape, more understandable.

A casual viewer might not understand why these kinds of points are relevant but they are since the book explored the dynamics of these dysfunctional personalities, whereas, the movie just displays them with no background or foundation. In other words, the book better explored the backgrounds and personalities of the characters than the movie did.

Overall, I like the movie for its entertainment value and enjoyed watching it despite its very dark nature. I think the young actors (especially Brad Renfro) were great. I think the camera work was excellent. And the music was outstanding.

BUT, with that being said. Do not take anything in this movie as 100% factual. There are a great many people who do not believe the book "Bully" to be completely accurate. I personally believe the book to be very fictionialized and completely disliked how Mr. Schutze approached the subject. For example, Mr. Schutze gives no references for any of the 'facts' in his book. One is left to guess if they came from court documents, police reports, the convicted killers, or his own imagination. Some events he described were detailed to the point of unbelieveability. Even his narrative is flawed and inconsistencies can be noticed from one page to another. There are many other flaws in it but this is not the forum to be listing them. I am just pointing this out since the movie was based off the book and therefore might not be completely accurate to what really happened.

Before you see this movie, beware that it is unrated. If it had been rated I couldn't imagine any rating below an NC-17. I actually saw a few older people walk out of the theater during the explicit sex scenes. There is also gay sex, rape, drug use, and heavy violence. So if you do not like that kind of material I would not recommend you see this movie.

If you do go and see it stay thru the whole credits. Mr. Clark listed the killers original sentences just before the credits started but a few of them (Marty, Lisa, and Ali's) were significantly reduced on appeal and two (Derek Dzvirko and Heather) have been released after serving a few years each in prison. Mr. Clark lists this info AFTER the credits roll.

Bound by Honor (1993)

Great Movie but Overly Melodramatic

[10/10 · 17 July 2001]

The first thing one should know about this movie is that it is NOT a remake of "American Me" although there are so many similar plot details that it becomes obvious that they ripped off or copied from "American Me".

Overall, I enjoy "American Me" more as a movie depiction of prison gangs. But "Blood In Blood Out", is far superior in pure entertainment value, in my opinion. I have watched it (all 3 plus hours) many times and I have never gotten tired of it. It is the kind of movie that sucks you in and is hard to press STOP once it gets going.

I think that all the actors except one were great, especially Benjamin Bratt, Enrique Castillo, and Jesse Borrego. It was especially amusing to see good old Billy Bob Thornton, as a neo-Nazi.

The only actor that I do not include in the greatness is the more or less star Damian Chapa as Milko. While other actors in the film had their overacting moments, this guy just wouldn't quit. Every scene was just way too overdone with him and by the end he was just plain obnoxious.

I give this movie a ten in spite of Chapa. If he had weaker co-stars, that rating would drop because of him but overall the other's superior performances make up for his.

Great movie, be sure to check it out.

Blind Faith (1990)

Long Boring TV Movie

[3/10 · 14 July 2001]

I saw the two part mini-series when it first aired in 1990 and read the book soon after.

It is a very typical true life crime drama, that can pretty much be summed up with - a rich New Jersey man has his wife (the mother of his 3 sons) murdered for the insurance money and he gets caught. Nothing great or spectacular. No last minute twists or turns, no police evidence tampering, no plot that backfires. Just a regular old murder for hire, that was not even well known outside the Jersey area until the book and movie came out.

Such a simple drama could have easily been a 2 hour TV-movie but instead was a two parter, 4 hours long. It was boring to watch, since it just dragged on and on. Most of the movie was about the man's sons being upset about their mother's murder and their father's involvement, which got old real quick.

I would recommend reading the book over watching the movie since the book covers a lot more of the police investigation and trial than the movie does. As I said, the movie primarily focuses on the guy's sons.

If you wanna be bored you can catch the movie on Lifetime sometimes.

Scary Movie 2 (2001)

Disappointing Follow Up to a Good Movie

[3/10 · 9 July 2001]

I was very disappointed by this movie. I thought that "Scary Movie" although not a great movie was very good and funny. "Scary Movie 2" on the other hand was boring, not funny, and at times plain stupid.

The Exorcist/Amityville spoof was probably the best part of the movie. James Woods was great.

Now, I'll admit that I am at a disadvantage since I have not seen a few of the movies that this parodies unlike the first, where I had basically seen them all. But bad comedy is still bad comedy.

Something that really hurt this movie was the timing, which ruined some of what might have been good jokes. Scenes and jokes drag out way to long.

Also, the same jokes keep getting repeated again and again. For example, the talking bird. Ok it was funny the first and maybe even the second time. But it kept getting repeated to the point of annoying. The routine between the wheelchair guy and Hanson (Chris Elliott) was amusing at first but it kept getting repeated and ended up stupid and even tasteless.

Some jokes even got repeated from the first movie. For example, the 'creaming' I guess you would call it of Cindy (Anna Faris) was funny in "Scary Movie" because Cindy had been holding out on giving her boyfriend sex for so long, that essentially he had blue balls from hell and it was funny when he 'creamed' her. But this time around it was out of place and not funny.

The bathroom and sexual humor in general was more amusing and well timed the first time around. The scat humor was excessive though and rather unneccessary in the second film.

Tori Spelling was annoying and really had no place in this movie.

But I did enjoy Shorty (Marlon Wayans) who in my opinion was the funniest character in the first film. The scene with him and the pot plant was one of my favorites from the second film.

Don't get me wrong, I love the Wayans family and their humor. That is why this film is so disappointing . . . they have a lot more comic ability than endless scat jokes.

School's Out! (1992 TV Movie)

The End of Degrassi

[12 June 2001]

Well I finally saw this movie (10 years after its release).

I was a big Degrassi fan throughout middle and the first part of high school. In fact, I even remember seeing "The Kids of Degrassi Street" way back when on PBS. I always enjoyed the real type of issues that the series covered and honestly the show was way ahead of its time in several ways.

The show was pretty good with not resolving issues or plot lines within a 30 minute time span. And some issues lasted thru many episodes and some were never completely resolved.

The final episodes of Degrassi High kind of took the opposite approach and started to resolve things.

The movie decided to go back in the opposite direction and leave everybody in a mess. And unlike several others that have posted a review, I think this was a good and realistic thing. So I liked what the movie was trying to do and it was in complete 'Degrassi' style.

But with that being said, let me say that this movie was most definiately the weakest Degrassi project. The plot was basically boring drivel about nothing.

The wedding of Simon and Alexa was just plain boring. The affair with Tessa was nothing but soap opera. The on again, off again thing with Caitlin and Joey was old news and just a retread. The Snake plotline was STUPID, it amounts to "can't get laid during his senior summer". The guy never had sex during all of high school and now becomes a nutcase during his senior summer because of it. Who cares!!!

The only plotline worth anything was Wheel's. It was a very ironic way for him to go out considering what originally put him down that path.

School's Out was a good but failed attempt to end the series.

I hope they do a reunion at some point, even if it is only with a few cast members.

Mallrats (1995)

I Loved this Movie

[10/10 · 13 April 2001]

"Mallrats" sometimes gets a bad (unjustified) rap. But I personally LOVE this movie. I laughed from the beginning to the end and never got bored.

I would even go as far to say that I enjoy this movie more than "Clerks".

The DVD version of "Mallrats" is super. There are not that many DVD's with the amount of extra footage that "Mallrats" has.

If you have never seen it, go rent it. You won't be disappointed.

Can't Hardly Wait (1998)

The 1st of a New Sub-Genre

[8 April 2001]

"Can't Hardly Wait" was the first of a new sub-genre of teen movies of the late 1990's, which are in the spirit of the 1980's John Hughes era. It is an ok movie but is by far not the best in this new sub-genre nor is it the best movie ever made.

The plot is fairly simple, boy wants girl, geek wants revenge on jock, unlikely couple get together, etc.

Boy Wants Girl - This is without a doubt the lamest sub-plot of the movie. Preston Meyers has obsessed over Amanda Beckett, a girl whom he has apparently never talked to nor even knows he exists, for 4 years. Magically his outstanding writing ability makes her fall for him. Ah, maybe something with a recent break-up and REBOUND could have actually had something to do with it. This whole sub-plot was dumb. Preston was kind of cool despite his strange obsession and quirks. Amanda on the other hand struck me, as not bright, shallow, and not sympathetic. In many ways Preston struck me as too good for Amanda.

Geek Wants Revenge on Jock - Simple standard fare although William Lichter's revenge seems a little nasty. Mike Dexter and him must have had some really bad times. It is an ok sub-plot.

Unlikely Couple Get Together - This without is the best part of the movie, Kenny Fisher and Denise Fleming's past and new situation are interesting and both are believeable characters.

Etc - Yearbook Girl, the Potheads, the Geeks (except for the stupid UFO thing), and the others provide interesting characters and situations along with laughs.

Don't get me wrong, I did laugh at the movie and do own and occasionally watch it but it isn't the greastest one out there.

Part of the problem is the editing. In order to get a PG-13 rating instead of an R rating, MANY scenes had to be cut or altered. This leaves an overall feeling of chopiness and holes. A perfect example is Yearbook Girl and Remembering Guy in the diner. There is no indication in the movie how they got together. Apparently there was a cut scene that explains this.

In fact the DVD commentary spoke of many of these scenes yet the DVD offered no special bonus footage of any of it. If a DVD Special edition is released I would definiately buy it.

So go out and rent or buy it, just beware that it is not an "American Pie", a far superior movie.