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Vivarium (2019)
A rip off of Polica Academy 4
Although well-acted, this movie needed a little bit more imagination. In short (and no spoilers), they've taken the script of one of the greatest movies of modern cinema, Police Academy 4; Citizens on Patrol and reworked it into a low budget sci-fi thriller. Without the cheeky charm of Acadamy Award Winner Steve Guttenberg as Mahoney it fails to land. There were so many scenes that the addition of MIchael Winslow's wacky character, Officer Jones and his zany sound effects would have added that much needed finishing touch. Would including High Tower, bought to life by the masterful Bubba Smith into the script have led to a busy awards season for cast and crew, yep, you betcha!
Chicago (2002)
i hope there's no worse academy best picture winners than this
So here we are playing our game where we randomly pick a year and watch the academy award winner for best picture from that year, 5 movies in and here we are at Chicago..... at least John C Reilly was in it for a few minutes, I like him.... need to remind myself it could be worse.... could have been Gigi again.
Nomadland (2020)
How does this junk even get made?!?
Conversation between whoever made this movie and whoever paid for this movie:
"I have an idea for a movie"
"Cool, what's the plot?"
"No plot!"
"Ummm, ok tell me what you're thinking?"
"We get Frances McDormand and follow her around some caravan parks and nice scenery"
"Oooh, I like Frances, she was great in Fargo"
"I know, people love her"
"Ok, what's the story?"
"No story! Did I mention it has Frances McDormand?"
"Yeah, but what else?"
"Nothing, like I said, no story, no plot, just Frances"
"Ummm, ok what do you need?"
"Frances McDormand and a couple of caravans"
"Do you think people will like it"
"Who cares, with Frances we might win an Oscar!"
"You really think with no story, no plot and just Frances we really could?"
"Sure, it's so ridiculous it just might happen"
"Ok, here's a big bag of money from my many big bags of money"
"Great, thanks, see you at the Oscars!"
Out of Death (2021)
Bruce must have been tricked?
Bruce, I have to assume there is NO WAY you would have signed up to make this garbage and my theory.... which the more I consider it the more plausible it feels, is that you were just taking a stroll in the woods near home and someone was filming you without your knowledge? That it looks like it has been shot on an iphone 3 makes me certain you didn't realise a movie was being filmed around you buddy.
You'll always be John McClane to me mate, seeing you throw Hans off Nakatomi Plaza still gets me out of me seat punching the sky. I'll just stick to watching Die Hard 1 and 2 whenever I need my "Bruce Fix" and will avoid any future student films tricking you to cash in on your name.
Take care buddy.
Visioneers (2008)
the song in the end credits was catchy
Terrible movie, horrible. Yeah, no doubt the reviewers giving this 10/10 loved it and saw something in this, unfortunately i didn't, junk, start to finish. The only reason i'm typing anything further than "junk movie" is imbd has a minimum word count that needs to be reached before a review can be submitted. I thought by now i'd be there however it appears i still need to write more before i can submit this review. Did i mention the movie was terrible? I seriously thought this would be enough wor.
Downsizing (2017)
This Happened To Me!
I could really relate to this movie as I was shrunk back in 2008! SERIOUSLY!!! Thankfully my shrinking experience was only temporary and lasted 11 months, however that first day it hit, man was it unexpected and freaky. I think it was aliens, actually, yep, the more I think about it, it was definitely aliens... I've had a few run ins with aliens in the past and many of the tell tale signs were there. Now, don't get me wrong, the experience of being shrunk wasn't all bad, a single large cup of Dr Pepper did last me around 7 months, sure it was a bit flat from day 4, however it retained that sweet sweet taste till the last drop. The main negatives were my clothes didn't fit (I've got some rad threads), I lost my job (masseuse) and even though I paid for the best seat I could to see Hootie & The Blowfish, my view form row 2 was rubbish (not being able to get a commemorative concert t-shirt in my size also sucked). I'm pretty sure my experience of being shrunk would make a better movie than this one, it sucked!