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dje2000
Reviews
Troy (2004)
Brad Pitts latest ego diarrhea
Oh, what nonsense.
Besides being a laughable ego vehicle for Brad, who hasn't made a good movie since Kalifornia, the only interesting thing about this garbage is when you notice that EVERYONE in this movie has a perm, from the vacuous 'starz' (a bunch of soap opera types dressed in togas) to the peasants to the donkey.
There is precious little plot, so even if you are a reality TV junkie, you should still be able to follow it.
The costuming and makeup are silly.
The historical content is practically nil and superficial.
The dialog makes me embarrassed to be from this planet. Go get a real movie, like "Twilight Samurai".
Pearl Harbor (2001)
Geesh
Ok, let's invent a new word for Pearl Harbor. Geesh. How else to describe a shallow, derivative bowl of sweet n' low with a massacre in the middle? hey, maybe it's really a candy bar, not a movie. Disney once again distorts us to their Team Rodent (Carl Hiaasen) vision of the world. How much did the makeup weigh that the nurses wore? When did they have time? Who did it while they were sleeping? How does it stay perfect through sex? Well, maybe I'm wrong. They say a good movie provokes thought and questions. This one certainly did. Now I can go forget it.
Hannibal (2001)
Not a bad film, from a pretty bad book
I won't insult your intelligence by rehashing the plot.
The book was mediocre, starting off well and falling apart as the story unfolded. The ending of the story was Clive Barker-ish, pedantic but memorable.
The movie, however, ends on a shocker. The shocker is, it's a Claude Van-Damme Chuck Norris Tom Clancy Hollywood Cop Out ok-lets-wrap-this-up-and-show-the-credits ending.
The dark humor made it an enjoyable two hours and the gore was five star. See it, but follow it up with some real tasty Cinema like La Femme Nikita.
Croupier (1998)
A multifaceted one dimensional character.
A comment, not a review... Croupier is now showing in art film houses, and is worth a look. The movie belongs on the big screen and will not translate well to your 19" panasonic.
The fine comments made by the person preceding this seemed to miss only the point that the croupier never gambled, but his action throughout the whole film was, in fact, gambling. The dichotomy was painfully obvious... a gambler who does not gamble continuously gambling with his fate by sleeping around, breaking every casino rule, risking death or imprisonment, all the while showing a painful lack of personality on the outside.
The ending sort of fizzled into a TV movie ending, as if the writer/director had made their point and just wanted it over with.
Tong Pak Foo dim Chau Heung (1993)
Gong Li will always regret this movie
This is a silly, silly movie. It is no surprise, of course. Much Chinese Cinema from Hong Kong is over the top, bad Jerry Lewis type shtick. Chow Yun Fat and most Hong Kong actors paid for lunch making silliness while waiting to be discovered by serious directors.
The surprising part is Gong Li. It is excruciating to watch her obvious embarrassment being on camera with fools. She does her best to look dignified while the 'famous scholar' does Rap in traditional Chinese dynasty garb.
Story? Who cares? Anyway, it concerns a famous painter in ancient china who sees and falls in love with Gong Li. Gong Li loves the work of the painter, although for story purposes, the painter becomes a poet suddenly to make props easier to manage. He disguises himself as a pauper to become a worker in her household. The logic isn't there. Don't try. Lots of people throw up pus looking white slime every few minutes while Gong Li tries to look dignified. You get the picture.
Trying to collect all the work of Gong Li may necessitate that you own this and Chinese Box, another horrible film. Just put it on the shelf. Not too close to Jou Du, please.
Mars Attacks! (1996)
Mars Attacks the fluff and nonsense of Independence Day
There is one huge difference between Mars Attacks and Independence day - you don't need to take out your brain and leave it by the toaster before slipping the tape or disk into the player.
It takes intelligence and a decent sense of humor to enjoy this admittedly flawed flick, but it's timing sure balanced out the nonsense and sickening dialogue of Independence Day. I would vote for Jack Nickolson as President WAY before his counterpart in ID.
Funny Games (1997)
Gutentag! Bang.
I liked this flick. It had the usual 'what would you really do' type flaws, like when they stand around having deep conversations with the killers just outside the door, but this film has courage, and it works. It works the same way as most foreign films that are successful in the US work, by shocking us to the core by not following the same tired old formulas. "Ok, now he's going to... Oh, sh_t, where did that come from?". That's what I expect from a movie. I don't want to watch the same hollywood-big brother formulas over and over.
The dialogue with the audience is shocking and effective, too... wish I had seen this one in a crowded theater.
Independence Day (1996)
What an awful movie. Free me from it's memory
It's July 4th, and what better day could there be to trash this terrible piece of fluff? From the inane, idiotic dialogue to the stupid characterizations, this movie fails. If this movie moved you, I'd suggest reversing that lobotomy.
See Mars Attacks instead. You won't have to leave your intelligence at home.
Summer of Sam (1999)
This is the Howard the Duck of Spike Lee's career
I kept waiting for Berkowitz to say "Have you seen my baseball?" Boy is this a bad movie. Direction was awful! Continuity was non-existent. 90's clothes, attitudes, piercings, technology (Intellilights in the Discos) in a shameful knockoff of Goodfellas. This should have been a wonderful movie. All I can remember is the dog talking ala Taco Bell. Sheesh. Ben Gazzara, what the hell was your character's point? Mira Sorvino, good acting can't make up for bad direction - you got your career hosed in this one, honey.
Kalifornia (1993)
Brad Pitt can actually act!
This movie is a riot... I haven't laughed so hard since Monty Python broke up. This is one of those drama on the surface movies where the director allowed the actors to play it for black humor. Pitt and Lewis take full advantage, while Duchovney and the forgettable female lead look completely confused and not-in-on-the-joke. A great 2 hours, especially the second time around