Doug-6 Reviews

Roddenberry on Patrol (2003 Video)

A treat for Trekkers

[7/10 · 6 October 2006]

This short film (way too short) winks at the origin of Star Trek, suggesting Gene Roddenberry was helped out of his writer's block by the encounters he had as a motorcycle cop. Many many cameos from stars from various series keep the viewer on the edge of their seat watching for subtle and not-so-subtle elements. My biggest complaint is all the potential material that doesn't make it into the show ... but then it would be several hours long!

The actor portraying the Great Bird bears a good resemblance to him, though Roddenberry's charm and humor aren't expressed perhaps as well as they could be. But it's clear this is a labor of love and must have been enjoyable to produce. Director Tim Russ and other Trek veterans are clearly having a blast playing it out.

Afterwards make sure to check out the outtakes as well. All in all a very funny effort worth the time to track down.

Shanghai Noon (2000)

A fresh blend of genres often gone stale

[9/10 · 23 September 2004]

Chan and Wilson outdo themselves every other minute in this goofy Western of theirs. Full of great action scenes, memorable lines ("you said wet shirt don't break ...") and laughs all the way, it's a treat even after multiple viewings. A rich set of supporting roles enhances the fun; everyone involved looks like they're having the time of their lives. The sequel takes itself a bit too seriously but the original belongs in any collection if you like comedies, westerns, or martial arts. There's nothing really offensive except a few "colorful metaphors" but if you can sit through this without a few big grins you might want to check your pulse. It should be rare to give any movie a perfect score but I can't come up with any lasting reason to dock this one - 10 of 10.

The Hunted (2003)

"The Hunted" should be "Avoided"

[3/10 · 1 December 2003]

"Do it for the chickens" ... right. What a waste of gorgeous scenery, credible character set-up, and (even greater waste) of talent. This was so bad I had to re-watch "First Blood" to wash the taste of this turkey out. Ignore if at all possible.

Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World (2003)

As exciting as watching sails dry

[5/10 · 15 November 2003]

Get on with it! I wanted to scream at the screen. The eyes hurt as very dark scenes cut away to the blindingly bright. The ears hurt as everyone mumbles naval dialogue unintelligible even under the best circumstances. (The audience I saw it with was audibly complaining about the difficulties in following the plot.) The few action scenes are not only confusing but also drown in an overwhelming and uninteresting sea of silly side plots. "Overstuffed" is right - there's too much irrelevant detail in the middle leading to a tremendously disappointing finale. I don't know how they blew it but thar she blows.

Invincible (2001 TV Movie)

Zane plus Gibson plus Li leaves less than nothing

[1/10 · 20 April 2003]

Terrible! One point for eye-candy but that in no way justifies a rental. "Invincible" doesn't describe it properly. "Insufferable," perhaps. "Intolerable," definitely. Viewers, avoid for your own sake!

(Hope the checks were fat, guys.)

The 13th Warrior (1999)

An awesome if often unappreciated adventure

[9/10 · 4 December 2002]

An epic-scale adventure which keeps getting better with every viewing. Despite alleged troubles in production the magnificent cast delivers an impressive effort and it's a shame no prequel is coming, featuring just the Northmen. I read the book and it does help here and there but the movie is strong enough without that experience. It doesn't quite top Kirk, Ernest, and Tony but that one's not out (yet) on DVD, so there.

(Minor spoiler - in the "first encounter" scene at the cottage in the forest, is it just me hearing things or did a Predator somehow creep into those trees?)

Mission: Impossible II (2000)

This is an action film?

[5/10 · 30 May 2000]

It does not improve a complex boring movie by making it a mindless boring movie. I watch the old series again and again and wonder, how could such promise be dashed, given two chances - was it never studied? Too much slow-mo, way too much "face" time, and a romantic interest which never becomes interesting. It's not impossible to do this mission right, people!

Fight Club (1999)

And here I wondered why the rental wasn't rewound ...

[4/10 · 19 May 2000]

... because one cannot sit through this idiocy till the end! It saddened me to see this film - promising through the first half or so - end up trivializing actual human suffering, in lieu of "destroying something beautiful." Heal, don't hurt - there's too much pain in the world to add to it - is that so hard to fathom? Hard to believe this rates so high. 4/10

The Fly (1986)

Excellent SF best viewed not on the Sci-Fi channel

[9/10 · 19 May 2000]

The personal chemistry of Goldblum and Davis actually crafts this film as a poignant and tragic romance which incidentally includes something about the dream of a dying insect. In other words, classic SF. The score stays with you as long as the unforgettable ending does. 9/10

Gladiator (2000)

A big disappointment, wait for DVD

[6/10 · 7 May 2000]

What happened!? Never did I expect to be so bored in such a promising effort. From the terrible continuity launching the story, to its absurd anti-historical ending, it suffers throughout from an hour of unnecessary, irrelevant story. Dull and uninspired, where it didn't need to be - rounding up to 6/10.

Conan the Barbarian (1982)

The best sword fighting movie of all time!

[9/10 · 7 May 2000]

An almost flawless effort, crediting all talent that went into it. The TLC taken with the story enhances its vision, not entirely true to Robert E. Howard, but close enough. It's TIME NOW and LONG OVERDUE for Arnold and company to resurrect the closing scene and film "Conan the King" - bring the gleaming cities of the Hyborean Age alive with CGI! 10/10.

High Fidelity (2000)

A Real Yawner

[2/10 · 8 April 2000]

This film is just plain DULL. It's been awhile since I've walked out on a movie but this one simply drags and drags and drags and never ends. Don't get me wrong. I like John Cusack's work. But the story of this film never lives up to the ambitious way it's occasionally being told. Who cares about any of these characters? Save yourself the trouble and don't waste the time or the money in the first place.

Safety Last! (1923)

Humor first!

[10/10 · 22 February 1999]

Fantastic - one of the best comedies ever, from one of the original masters. Hopefully in time Lloyd will get the credit he deserves for gems like this.

The Thing (1982)

Not "The Fog" - worth renting again

[8/10 · 18 October 1998]

Many reasons why this is a great update of the original, not the least of which is the open-ended, not quite-so-happy ending. Much better creature than a giant carrot too. Great performances all around, and a chance to see some better-known television actors before they hit it "big." Kinda makes you wanna shoot your dogs and bleed your friends. Rent it again instead of "Halloween."