"Pretty When You Cry" is a klunker from beginning to end. Shot as a dark and brooding drama, this B-flick tells it's story of sex, drugs, and murder through a series of annoying flashbacks. Character development is nonexistent, the story weak and uninteresting, and the acting very ordinary. Cinematography is okay but can't save this very mediocre flick which is like a bowl of wax fruit: Looks good but you wouldn't want to eat it. A waste of time.
18 Reviews
Watchable Film Noir thriller
sol121828 December 2003
*****SPOILERS***** Thinking that he left this dark event in his past behind him Albert Straka, Jamie Kennedy, couldn't have been more wrong. With a new start in life and being engaged to a caring and lovely girl Emily, Lorie Heuring, the last thing that Albert thought that would happen happened.
One morning two police detectives enter the antique shop where Albert is working and take him down to the police station for questioning for the murder of Frank Carreni, Michael Cavalieri, a person that Albert knew who now he would like to forget.
Frank's body was found at the bottom of a bridge outside the city. The police pathologist determined that he was murdered somewhere else and his body dumped there. Under questioning by Det.Lukas Black, Sam Elliott, Albert is handed a seasons greeting card that he sent to Frank's wife Sara, Carlton Elizabeth. What Albert wrote to her was a lot more personal that your average greeting card.
Albert not at all denying that he knew the Carreni's but he strangely seemed to be resigned to his fate, of being indited for Frank's murder.
It at first looked to the movie audience and even Det. Black who was interrogating him that even though he had no love for Frank he didn't have it in him to kill Frank or anyone else for that matter. Momentarily leaving the interrogation room to get a drink of water Albert overhears two policemen on the case saying that Sara killed herself by jumping off the same bridge, where her husband Frank was found, a few days later.
Albert quietly recounts the story about him and Sara and Frank and how he was in love and obsessed with Sara and how he resented and disliked Frank for how he abused her in his nightclub and at his home. Albert also talks about how he forced Sara to engage in all kinds of kinky sex that ironically in the end led to Frank's death. Albert recounts about that night when he got a frantic phone call from Sara that Frank was unconscious and possibly dead from one of those S&M sessions that he forced Sara to engage in. It was by answering that call from Sara that sealed Albert's fate in his going along with Sara's bazaar plan to make sure that Frank was really dead.
What Albert didn't know was that there was a lot more to what happened to Frank that night and it wasn't just Sara that had something to do with it. Film Noir thriller that is a lot deeper and darker then you would have first thought. Sam Elliott is very good as Det. Black who knows much more then what he lets Albert and the audience on to on what is really behind Frank Carreni's murder as well as his wife Sara's suicide and you seem to sense that as the movie slowly unwinds to it's surprising ending.
One morning two police detectives enter the antique shop where Albert is working and take him down to the police station for questioning for the murder of Frank Carreni, Michael Cavalieri, a person that Albert knew who now he would like to forget.
Frank's body was found at the bottom of a bridge outside the city. The police pathologist determined that he was murdered somewhere else and his body dumped there. Under questioning by Det.Lukas Black, Sam Elliott, Albert is handed a seasons greeting card that he sent to Frank's wife Sara, Carlton Elizabeth. What Albert wrote to her was a lot more personal that your average greeting card.
Albert not at all denying that he knew the Carreni's but he strangely seemed to be resigned to his fate, of being indited for Frank's murder.
It at first looked to the movie audience and even Det. Black who was interrogating him that even though he had no love for Frank he didn't have it in him to kill Frank or anyone else for that matter. Momentarily leaving the interrogation room to get a drink of water Albert overhears two policemen on the case saying that Sara killed herself by jumping off the same bridge, where her husband Frank was found, a few days later.
Albert quietly recounts the story about him and Sara and Frank and how he was in love and obsessed with Sara and how he resented and disliked Frank for how he abused her in his nightclub and at his home. Albert also talks about how he forced Sara to engage in all kinds of kinky sex that ironically in the end led to Frank's death. Albert recounts about that night when he got a frantic phone call from Sara that Frank was unconscious and possibly dead from one of those S&M sessions that he forced Sara to engage in. It was by answering that call from Sara that sealed Albert's fate in his going along with Sara's bazaar plan to make sure that Frank was really dead.
What Albert didn't know was that there was a lot more to what happened to Frank that night and it wasn't just Sara that had something to do with it. Film Noir thriller that is a lot deeper and darker then you would have first thought. Sam Elliott is very good as Det. Black who knows much more then what he lets Albert and the audience on to on what is really behind Frank Carreni's murder as well as his wife Sara's suicide and you seem to sense that as the movie slowly unwinds to it's surprising ending.
A true film noir
bgc-45 September 2005
This film is so film noir that it's difficult to see. There is more black than color in most shots. Most of the time it's difficult to figure out what is supposed to be happening. Sam Elliot is brilliant as usual but his time was wasted in this one given given the really crummy cinematography and editing. While the come on for this movie is sexual explicitness the version I saw, which was distributed in Canada, had none. About all the film could muster was in that department was some rather tame S & M and sounds of sex. That's sounds - not view of. I felt ripped off after buying the DVD for an extremely reasonable amount of money, i.e. cheap. With the exception of Elliot's performance watching this movie is a waste of time.
could've called this one "Shot in the Dark"
12-string6 December 2001
Schlemiel falls in love with screwed-up junkie slut and gets involved with murder. The story unfolds in flashback. If you can't figure out what part Sam Elliott's character has in all this, you must have gotten an F in Plotting 102. A (very) little bit of NYPD BLUE type nudity for those who care, but this is no erotic thriller by any stretch.
Script is awful (writer is also producer -- it always pays to bring the ball), but performances would probably be OK in a high school play with a lot of bondage sex, cursing, sexual violence, and drug use. (The 12-stringer doesn't object to any of those except when they're handled as poorly as they are here.) Femme lead Carlton Elizabeth looks like a model and tries hard with what there is. It's not her fault that she's styled and shot throughout as if she's badly in need of a) a bath, b) a meal, and c) an implant reset.
Grimy, shot-in-the-dark film may look better on big screen, but I've only seen it on HBO in tv ratio and was reaching for a flashlight by the second reel. Aggressively unappealing characters and who-cares plot torpedo this one quickly. Not likely to be on anyone's resumé this time next year, but a sure bet to run on HBO as often as they carry SPACEHUNTER: ADVENTURES IN THE FORBIDDEN ZONE.
On a scale of 1-10, 1 from the 12-stringer, but I still think there should be a 0 category.
Script is awful (writer is also producer -- it always pays to bring the ball), but performances would probably be OK in a high school play with a lot of bondage sex, cursing, sexual violence, and drug use. (The 12-stringer doesn't object to any of those except when they're handled as poorly as they are here.) Femme lead Carlton Elizabeth looks like a model and tries hard with what there is. It's not her fault that she's styled and shot throughout as if she's badly in need of a) a bath, b) a meal, and c) an implant reset.
Grimy, shot-in-the-dark film may look better on big screen, but I've only seen it on HBO in tv ratio and was reaching for a flashlight by the second reel. Aggressively unappealing characters and who-cares plot torpedo this one quickly. Not likely to be on anyone's resumé this time next year, but a sure bet to run on HBO as often as they carry SPACEHUNTER: ADVENTURES IN THE FORBIDDEN ZONE.
On a scale of 1-10, 1 from the 12-stringer, but I still think there should be a 0 category.
Sad attempt at erotic indie
perfectisolation6 November 2002
I got roped into seeing this at a screening on 2nd Avenue. Boy did it stink. Bear in mind i saw this a year ago, and just came across the name, so i am now writing the review and voted.
Seems the writer(s) laid down the best ideas of many movies. Pulp fiction time shifting, 9.5 weeks erotiscim, etc etc. And then tried to put together a movie. But it doesn't work. Sorry I cant remember all the films they ripped off... but i wrote it down on the cards for the producers. But it was a laundry list. And very blatantly ripped off, not 'homaged' to.
Seems the writer(s) laid down the best ideas of many movies. Pulp fiction time shifting, 9.5 weeks erotiscim, etc etc. And then tried to put together a movie. But it doesn't work. Sorry I cant remember all the films they ripped off... but i wrote it down on the cards for the producers. But it was a laundry list. And very blatantly ripped off, not 'homaged' to.
Holy crap this movie sucked my butt
trauder26 November 2001
Looking over the credits for this movie, it is unsurprising to find that the director has impressive credentials... as a cinematographer. The film is well composed visually. Other than that, this movie fails on so many levels, not the least of which is the horrible, horrible script. "Shocking" plot twists for the sake of shocking twists kill any suspense this film has. The pacing is horrible. After about an hour of the film, you think it is about to end, after another ten minutes, you are PRAYING for it to end. Gratuituos sex and violence are all this film has going for it. Why Sam Elliot agreed to do a movie as tragically terrible as this travesty of filmmaking is anyone's guess? If I was presented with a choice of watching this film again and getting ebola... I'd watch this movie, but it would be a tough choice.
Mystery (also Murder)
kosmasp20 December 2018
Yes usually you'd call it Murder Mystery. In this case this is a mystery - well not so much the fact it got made, but the fact that you have Sam Elliott in it. You know a movie hasn't aged well when the website just goes away. On the plus side I guess: someone can get the rights for the title of the movie now. Though I wouldn't know why (except maybe to be "romantic" with your significant other? I'm just spitballing and guessing here).
All other things aside and taking into account that the director is a great cinematographer, he either took a bad deal or the script sounded way better than the end result we get. Now you can see what the intention was. Thriller with some social criticism and all that. Unfortunately having someone like Jamie Kennedy and the female newcomer in the lead role did not serve the movie or the plot a lot - quite the opposite. So while there may or may not be surprises ahead (and don't bother trying to make sense of certain things that just don't make sense) - overall this is forgettable
All other things aside and taking into account that the director is a great cinematographer, he either took a bad deal or the script sounded way better than the end result we get. Now you can see what the intention was. Thriller with some social criticism and all that. Unfortunately having someone like Jamie Kennedy and the female newcomer in the lead role did not serve the movie or the plot a lot - quite the opposite. So while there may or may not be surprises ahead (and don't bother trying to make sense of certain things that just don't make sense) - overall this is forgettable
Uninteresting and inconsistent
jordondave-280858 May 2023
(2001) Seduced: Pretty When You Cry
THRILLER
Straight to rental, starring Jamie Kennedy as Albert Straka, becoming infatuated with club owner Frank Carreni's (Michael Cavalieri who's also credited as Associate producer) wife, Sara Carreni (Carlton Elizabeth). Much of the movie shows him explaining his story to homicide detective, Lukas Black (Sam Elliot). Inspired by other movies such as "The Last Seduction" to "Basic Instinct" and many other movies about females instructing people what to do blah, blah, blah. 1 star for the twist even though the overall movie is uninteresting and inconsistent.
Straight to rental, starring Jamie Kennedy as Albert Straka, becoming infatuated with club owner Frank Carreni's (Michael Cavalieri who's also credited as Associate producer) wife, Sara Carreni (Carlton Elizabeth). Much of the movie shows him explaining his story to homicide detective, Lukas Black (Sam Elliot). Inspired by other movies such as "The Last Seduction" to "Basic Instinct" and many other movies about females instructing people what to do blah, blah, blah. 1 star for the twist even though the overall movie is uninteresting and inconsistent.
50 SHADES OF FRANK
nogodnomasters31 May 2019
Warning: Spoilers
Albert (Jamie Kennedy) is the unmarried person in a love triangle. Albert finds Sara (Carlton Elizabeth) and her fake body to be irresistible and addicting. Sara's husband Frank (Michael Cavalieri) loves his drink, cocaine, abusing his wife, and bondage. When Frank turns up dead, Albert is taken downtown and interrogated by Detective Lukas Black (Sam Elliot) as our story is told in flashbacks.
I didn't find the fake looking Carton Elizabeth as irresistible as Albert. I also didn't like the wimpy character of Albert, who was the main focus of the film. The support cast was good. I thought they needed a stronger main character.
Guide: F-bomb, sex, nudity (Carlton Elizabeth-brief, Michael Cavalieri-butt)
I didn't find the fake looking Carton Elizabeth as irresistible as Albert. I also didn't like the wimpy character of Albert, who was the main focus of the film. The support cast was good. I thought they needed a stronger main character.
Guide: F-bomb, sex, nudity (Carlton Elizabeth-brief, Michael Cavalieri-butt)
Not too shabby.
moriddim30 November 2001
It must have been fairly good since I didn't seem to want to stop watching it, but it's nothing to write home about either. I can say I was surprised by some of the twists and I was never exactly sure of what was going on, but then again, I'm not sure if that was because of the intelligence of the script or because of its abnormality. Still, it deserves a 6 out of 10 for cinematography and a great sound track.
-m0
-m0
A stinker cheese ball of a movie ...*some spoilers*
hanneta19822 April 2007
Warning: Spoilers
When Jamie Kennedy becomes the best part of an erotic drama you know the movie SUCKS. Poorly directed/written, but by far the worst is the casting...the lead lady looks more like an advertisement for plastic surgery, fake breasts/tan/teeth/nails, is hard to consider her a poor, naive girl next door trapped in a bad situation when she seems out of a cheap porn she can't act worth nothing, same for who plays her husband who is TERRIBLE and borderline offensive stereotypical, same for everyone in this movie, including Jamie Kennedy who looks extremely out of place as a leading male, no skills to pull it off. The plot is confusing, the husband is abusive but they're into BDSM, she loves him, hate him, kills him or does she? there's also the drugs, the cheating, the crime, clubs, uggg too much going on no adhesive or coherence whatsoever...poorly constructed plot, very messed up. It could have been interesting yet not original with the right casting.... To sum it up don't ever waste your time with it, is regrettable and not even the not sexy sex scenes make it worthy...might as well rent a porn, same effect with a most likely better plot.
Twisty, turny, kinky and very, very dark
Nick Hyle30 November 2001
I liked this, but it's VERY dark and more than a little confusing. Carlton Elizabeth is beautiful in a way reminiscent of a young Sonia Braga - every bit as sultry, plus voluptuous in an over ripe, Angelina Jolie fashion. Lots of very kinky sex and nasty language (not one for the kiddies), and a great Sam Elliot performance.
The plot is not as deeply convoluted as say Red Rock West, but takes a number of psychological twists and turns. If you want something black but not horrific and twisted but not impossible to follow, served with moody visuals and flavored with lots of not quite gratuitious S&M and B&D, it's a good one for a late night with like minded freaks. But if you watch it with your parents, don't say I didn't warn you.
The plot is not as deeply convoluted as say Red Rock West, but takes a number of psychological twists and turns. If you want something black but not horrific and twisted but not impossible to follow, served with moody visuals and flavored with lots of not quite gratuitious S&M and B&D, it's a good one for a late night with like minded freaks. But if you watch it with your parents, don't say I didn't warn you.
Largely agree with surprising attractiveness of this film
dorlich7 April 2006
I was enthralled by the female actress who played the lead, I agree she looked like she had a few miles on her, but she did also have a smoldering beauty that begs one to study that face and wonder what had gone so awry in her life. I thought the film did an adequate job of depicting the painful events that forged that face. I liked the film enough to watch it again, as I was channel surfing when I stumbled across it, and didn't give it the attention it deserved. When I finished watching the film I looked forward to the credits as I wondered who the actress was. I wonder if she is a sibling of Shannon Elizabeth? If so, it would be interesting to meet their parents. Both are striking women, and I disagree with the previous reviewer's "crack whore" characterization. Too many Kirsten Dunst pudding faced blonds polluting the big screen already, an edgy brunette was welcome to this viewer!
Pretty when she cries, laughs, pouts...
Dr. Gore29 January 2005
Warning: Spoilers
*SPOILER ALERT* *SPOILER ALERT*
I bought this video for four bucks. I had seen bits and pieces of this movie on cable before buying it. I needed to know how it ended. I also needed to see more of the leading lady, Carlton Elizabeth.
Carlton Elizabeth, who the back of the video box describes as "Britain's version of Angelina Jolie", is incredibly hot. She's kind of a more muscle toned version of Nikki Nova. Long black hair, tight body and, yes, nice large breasts. We only get to see glimpses of her naked but what glimpses they are!
As far as the movie goes, "Pretty When You Cry" is a standard late night cable thriller. Mysterious hot woman wants sucker to do her murderous bidding etc. It was OK. Carlton Elizabeth is what makes it worth watching.
I bought this video for four bucks. I had seen bits and pieces of this movie on cable before buying it. I needed to know how it ended. I also needed to see more of the leading lady, Carlton Elizabeth.
Carlton Elizabeth, who the back of the video box describes as "Britain's version of Angelina Jolie", is incredibly hot. She's kind of a more muscle toned version of Nikki Nova. Long black hair, tight body and, yes, nice large breasts. We only get to see glimpses of her naked but what glimpses they are!
As far as the movie goes, "Pretty When You Cry" is a standard late night cable thriller. Mysterious hot woman wants sucker to do her murderous bidding etc. It was OK. Carlton Elizabeth is what makes it worth watching.
Sexy, intriguing thriller with unexpected twists and turns.
cnpatton976 June 2001
From beginning to end this movie keeps you guessing. You find yourself being drawn into a "love story". This love story is sexy and brutal and keeps you wondering what will happen next, right til the bitter end. Carlton Elizabeth, who plays Sarah Carreni gives an unbelievable performance. She is the british version of Angelina Jolie. Her smile lights up the screen and her tears make you feel her pain. It was a truly amazing first performance. She was also flanked by some heavy hitters in Hollywood: Sam Elliot who was remarkable and macho as Detective Black and also Jamie Kennedy who players her lover. I recommend this for anyone who wants to see something a little different than your run of the mill hollywood flick.
A bit of an odd one, but still quite intriguing enough to justify watching
charles00012 November 2011
Warning: Spoilers
This film is a bit of an odd one, but still quite intriguing enough to justify watching, perhaps more than once. Of course, Sam Elliot delivers an absolutely perfect delivery of his character. Truth be told, I have yet to see Sam do anything in a film that wasn't A list quality acting, even if the film itself didn't warrant his usual caliber of talent.
But actually, this film did deliver, and is not at all a blemish on his collection of work. Aside from that, Carlton Elizabeth really delivered her character as well, and then some. I'm not that familiar with her work, but will make it a point to look for her in other films. Besides being absurdly beautiful, in an almost transhumanist sort of way, she did deliver a surprisingly credible performance.
As for the story itself, well . . . nothing that hasn't been done before, but the otherwise somewhat cliché' plot does get a bit of help via the delivery platform of a series of flashback video vignettes, woven together into a sort of jagged tapestry that unfolds throughout the various scenes.
No spoiler here, but if anything, the ending was more than a bit implausible. It takes a really serious amount of suspension of disbelief to make this come together into some sort of credible climax (sorry, very bad pun here).
So, perhaps the story itself somewhat disintegrates into a less than credible ending, but the caliber of the character studies within the story still makes it a worthy film experience.
Not spectacular, but not terrible either . . . somewhere in between, with a bit of a leaning toward the better than 50% rating, as it were. I can go with 7 stars here.
But actually, this film did deliver, and is not at all a blemish on his collection of work. Aside from that, Carlton Elizabeth really delivered her character as well, and then some. I'm not that familiar with her work, but will make it a point to look for her in other films. Besides being absurdly beautiful, in an almost transhumanist sort of way, she did deliver a surprisingly credible performance.
As for the story itself, well . . . nothing that hasn't been done before, but the otherwise somewhat cliché' plot does get a bit of help via the delivery platform of a series of flashback video vignettes, woven together into a sort of jagged tapestry that unfolds throughout the various scenes.
No spoiler here, but if anything, the ending was more than a bit implausible. It takes a really serious amount of suspension of disbelief to make this come together into some sort of credible climax (sorry, very bad pun here).
So, perhaps the story itself somewhat disintegrates into a less than credible ending, but the caliber of the character studies within the story still makes it a worthy film experience.
Not spectacular, but not terrible either . . . somewhere in between, with a bit of a leaning toward the better than 50% rating, as it were. I can go with 7 stars here.
A beautiful but damaged woman's obsessions draw others into her sexual perversions.
docnixon25 December 2002
Okay, this is a "B" flic at least, but I have a lot of fun with B flics. This one, however (despite the convoluted plot) was not laughable. Of course I rented it for the thrills promised, but as usual the S&M were only hinted at. Dumb plot. Still, this movie had *something* you would never see in a mainstream movie: In mainstream movies, everyone turns out to be just who who you thought they were - just who they appear to be - though they may have been led temporarily astray. In this flic, like many forgettable B flics, the characters actually are obsessed or driven by forces that do not reveal themselves in persona, or what is said on the service. The fact that who think is the lead character is not the real lead character is quite a move. The stereotypical victim has been in control all the time of all the action, including the sexual-violent action. Underneath it all this character is not really "good" waiting to be saved by manly heroism. This is real, & refreshing. Too bad we still have the cliche of retribution.
Lame erotic thriller
Wizard-817 May 2015
Warning: Spoilers
I bought a nine pack of movies for only three bucks, and this movie was one of them. Although that averages to only 33 cents or so for a movie, I still felt ripped off by this movie. Now, I will say that Sam Elliott obviously worked hard to give a solid performance, but even his acting skills couldn't overcome some bad writing concerning his character (like letting a suspect go home after he confesses to participating in a murder!) But that's not the only example of bad writing to be found in the movie. The movie is told mainly in flashbacks, a technique that could have worked had the flashbacks unfolded in a more linear order instead of jumping around in time. Also, the movie fails to give enough scenes showing how the character of Albert gets attracted to the character of Sarah - how this wimp manages to get her attention is a mystery. The movie is also badly directed. The so-called "erotic" sequences aren't that steamy, and the cinematography has that cheap look that was common in productions by PM Entertainment in the early 1990s. The main fault with the direction is how sluggish and slow the entire enterprise moves. There's very little heat or mystery here, including a final "twist" that you'll probably guess just before it's revealed. Actually, there is one mysterious thing about the movie: How on earth did an actor like Sam Elliott gets roped into this cheapie?
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