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Bloody Hell (2020)
I have mixed emotions
Rex (Ben O'Toole) is crushing on a bank teller (Ashlee Lollback) and then the place gets robbed. Rex goes vigilante, a bit overboard and gets 8 years in prison. Upon getting out he decides to go to Finland where he gets kidnapped by a family of cannibals that have a leg up on him, pun intended.
The film is a dark comedy. It tells you this in the airport scene if you have trouble figuring it out. Rex also talks to himself something that happened to him in Afghanistan. His alter-ego is funny. I liked the dark humor of the film.
Guide: F-word. No sex or nudity.
Father Stu (2022)
God is the ultimate programmer
Stuart Long was a Gold Glove middle weight boxer whose career was over. He went to the west coast to become and actor but became a priest instead.
It was an interesting film. The sermons written for Stu were good and entertaining. I wish they had not shown the real life Stuart Long at the end who was fat and ugly and made the film less palatable.
Guide: F-word. No sex or nudity.
The Walk (2022)
I don't want to go to school
The film takes place in the historical background of the integration of South Boston schools and Roxbury. They are rival schools who hate each other. The film centers on the lives of a few individuals involved, mostly Bill Coughlin (Justin Chatwin), a cop. He is assigned to escort the children from Roxbury into his white neighborhood of South Boston. He is seen as a traitor to his neighborhood for a number of reasons and faces many threats.
The drama was good. The accents at times left something to be desired as actors would have an accent and then forget to use it. South Boston turns out to be its own worse enemy with a gut punch ending that leaves you wanting a part 2.
Guide: F-word. No sex or nudity.
Murder at Yellowstone City (2022)
I got the murderer
The film takes place in a dead gold mining town of Yellowstone, Montana, 1881. Robert Dunnigan (Zach McGowan) discovers gold and immediately leaves his wife behind to go to town and tell everyone, and bed Isabel (Aimee Garcia) is favorite prostitute. He soon turns up dead and a stranger (Isaiah Mustafa ) is blamed as some of his gold is discovered in his room. The mystery of who did it becomes completely known at an hour and twenty minutes into the feature.
The film has a large body count. The ending leads you to believe this is some sort of series of stories about Cicero, the accused killer and not Yellowstone the city. Richard Dreyfuss plays a gay bar tender. The story seemed very generic.
Guide: No F-words. Sex. Near Aimee Garcia nudity.
Interceptor (2022)
Never Give Up
Captain JJ Collins was the victim of military sexual harassment. For her "reward" she gets stuck on SBX-1 a remote Pacific Ocean station that is designed to intercept Soviet missiles. In the opening scene we see the Alaskan interceptor station taken over. There are traitors at SBX-1 who want to take over that station so rogue elements inside the Soviet Union can launch their newly stolen mobile ICBMs. Only Captain Hollins can save 16 American cities from a nuclear strike.
This is another feel good hero save the world vs overwhelming odds film. I'm a sucker for these. Especially when the lead rips off her shirt after the first kill. Not sure why other than it makes for great cinema. Elsa's real life husband Chris Hemsworth has a cameo role as a TV salesman.
Guide: F-word. No sex or nudity.
The Screaming Skull (1958)
Slipped on a leaf
Eric (John Hudson) moves into his ex-wife's house with his new bride Jenni (Peggy Webber) who had been institutionalized. His first wife died under unusual circumstances, slipped on a leaf, hit her head, and drowned. Then there is the creepy gardener (Alex Nicol) which is why I use undocumented. Jenni keeps seeing a skull and screams.
There really isn't much horror until the end and I am hard pressed to call it horror outside of 1958. The gullwing car was cool.
Bikini Royale 2 (2010)
You did get a bonus
Beverly Lynne returns with a new cast of girls as she must infiltrate a brothel. The set up could lead to a number of entertaining scenes, but tends to have a bland soft core script. Jayden Cole is a welcomed edition but just has one scene.
Softcore. All sex and nudity.
Bikini Royale (2008)
I work for a newspaper
The film opens with a hot Asian chick (Syren) taking a shower, scrubbing all those hard to get places. Tanya (Beverly Lynne) is taking candid photos and gets caught. And what a surprise (or not), we have a FF love scene. Tanya must infiltrate a poker game to stop top secret plans from going to enemy agents. This includes a practice run of strip poker.
This is all soft core with sex and nudity in every scene, or with one in a few minutes. I liked this one best of the trilogy although they were all pretty much the same.
King Knight (2021)
Lacrosse!!!
Thorn (Matthew Gray Gubler) and Willow (Angela Sarafyan) are life partners who lead a coven of witches in California. There are three other couples and they take pride in being non-conformists. Thorn also sells 1 star reviewed bird baths on line. Willow discovers that Thorn's real name is Thornton and in his past life he was class president and Prom King, all the things she loathes about people and to make matters worse she RSVP him to the 20-year class reunion!!!!
This is a fun film about people acting as non-conformist in a very conformist manner. Knowing odd-beat comedian Aubrey Plaza was the voice of the pine cone added to the comedy. "B" horror movie star Barbara Crampton stars as the very conformist mother.
Guide: F-word. No sex or nudity.
Virgin Cheerleaders in Chains (2018)
It's not a knife
A wanna-be horror script writer can not sell a script. He decides to make his own film with the title "Virgin Cheerleaders in Chains." They get a stripper to be in the film and use friends. One has a location and it turns out there are real slashers.
I didn't think too much of the script. I did like the two lead females, Kelsey Pribilski and Elizabeth Maxwell. Woody Wilson Hall was also a keeper. They should have gutted the rest of the "actors" and reworked the script.
Guide: Brief nudity.
The Last Ghost Hunters (2021)
You light up my life
A rural farmhouse in Peru, Indiana is haunted with multiple missing persons. Three ghost hunters go there to film and free the spirit from a prepper/hoarder. Faith (Moli Hall) has a powerful spell called Greek Fire she can use to free all the spirits that are trapped. It is a dangerous spell that you must wait for the climax as expected. No sense using it as they walk in the door.
Not much buildup to the ghosts or haunting. They practically greet them at the door. There is no twist. I has hoping that the little girl was the evil spirit holding everyone there and not the dad as suspected. Would have added a star for that twist.
Guide: No swearing, sex, or nudity.
Moon of the Blood Beast (2019)
I'll send paramedics
The film takes place in Riverside Co. (Filmed Panama City, Ca.). There is a mention of driving to Shreveport giving you the felling this is suppose to be on the Gulf Coast. The small town is protected (not sure how) by a man in bad rubber mask called the Blood Beast who takes sacrifices every ten years for his work during the harvest moon. The first victim is Alana Evans (adult film star) and it goes down hill from there.
You will notice that the acting and script are bad. It is bad enough to tell to director didn't know what he was doing. We get a first person view of the beast which consists of the high tech world of using a red filter in slow motion. Not even a fish-eye. Maybe the director will get one of those next Christmas. The back and forth conversation in the car between two women highlighted how bad the film was done. Also includes plastic surgery experiment Dawna Lee Heising.
Guide: F-word. No sex or nudity.
Fresh Hell (2021)
Trust your eyes
The film takes place during the pandemic. A group of individuals who spent three years together in acting school in Athens, Ohio now have time to reunite and chat. A "stranger" (director Ryan Imhoff) comes into Laura's spot and appears to kill her and later the others appear to die before the eyes of Grace (Lanise Antoine Shelley).
The individuals are symbolic of different aspects of society, sort of like a Gilligan's Island type of thing. The stranger, I imagine is COVID in the symbolism. The film spoofs the phony aspect of zoom meetings. Footage films are not entertaining.
Guide: F-word. Male Nudity. No sex.
Voodoo Tailz (2002)
Bayou Voodoo Cult
A bayou voodoo cult is kidnapping girls at Mardi Gras for "sexual ritual and sacrifice." We then follow Rose (Stepfanie Tremblay) a college student and two friends as they drink, dance, and get stalked.
The production is low budget all the way down to the fonts. There is no character build up or introduction. The acting is bad especially from the support cast. Could have used more sexual ritual and less drinking. Daniel Zirilli has done better. Not sure what he was thinking.
Guide: F-word. Nudity (Cyd Casados, Stepfanie Tremblay body double)
The Nanny's Night (2021)
We like to film ourselves
Bianka (Ana Garberí) has a gig babysitting the 13-year old girl (Vivian Milkova) daughter of a plastic surgeon. They have a great time watching horror movies and eating junk food. We discover (wasn't much of a secret) that Bianka is a lesbian looking to sacrifice a virgin with her girlfriend (Ailín Pazos) so they can film it and submit to the dark web and become members of a satanic cult following Lucifera (María Forqué). Things don't go as planned.
The film was more comedy than horror. The soundtrack guy must of had a ball with overdone mood music. It set the proper mood. Not overly funny, but a fun film that would do as a Redbox Rental.
Guide: Plenty of F-words. No sex or nudity.
Vicious Fun (2020)
Killers Anonymous
The film takes place in 1983. Joel (Evan Marsh) gets drunk at a Chinese restaurant and passes out in the back room. He comes to and finds himself in a serial killer type of support group/retreat mistaken for Phil who was supposed to show up that night. Also at the group is Carrie (Amber Goldfarb) one of the killers, but is really there to kill them.
This was a unique and fun film. The plot was great, but the script was only good. An accountant who dresses up like a clown to kill should have been a great scene, but didn't come across as well as it should have done. I think if Danielle Chuchran played the killer, it would have been a better film. I thought Killers Anonymous was slightly better,
Guide: F-word. No sex or nudity.
The Girl from B.I.K.I.N.I. (2007)
You are Sexy
The film is a lot of soft core action loosely connected by a ridiculous plot to save a communication line operating on the public airwaves. It centers around agent Tania (Beverly Lynn) who only knows how to use sex to get information. Stars near actors from the adult film industry. Silly dialogue.
No swearing. All sex and nudity.
Firestarter (2022)
I'm Coming Daddy
This is a modern adaptation of the King classic. Charlie is not as cute this time. Steven King purist will hate this version. As part pf a modern adaptation, modern audiences who like action more than drama are appeased. The drawn out story telling and suspense is condensed. Having not seen the film in decades I have forgotten most of the original. It is not bad for a horror film, just not a great adaptation. Couldn't Drew Barrymore have played the mom? Or Captain Hollister?
Guide: F-word. No sex or nudity.
Double Threat (2022)
A walk in the park
Jimmy (Matthew Lawrence) is a forensic accountant on his way to the Pacific Ocean to scatter his brother's ashes. He stops for snacks along the way. A supposed robbery happens at the store. Natasha (Danielle C. Ryan) the clerk, kills the culprits and this ends up with the two of them on the run from the mob which wants her dead for skimming.
The twist is Natasha has a split personality, one mild mannered and the other is a killer who talks in sexual innuendos.
The film made me feel like I was watching "American Ultra." Everyone underestimates this 100 pound girl. It was a fun PG-13 type of grindhouse/romance.
Guide: No F-words. One pool table sex scene. No nudity.
Top Gun: Maverick (2022)
You told me not to think
Maverick Skywalker (Tom Cruise) ends up teaching a dozen aces how to hunt bump rabbits in a canyon and shoot a target down a ventilation shaft in order to destroy Death Star. Seems an unnamed rogue nation has build an underground facility to enrich uranium. The US is going to commit an act of war against them by attacking the facility protected by surface to air missiles and superior fighters. There is some human drama.
I was not overly impressed with Val Kilmer. His relationship with Penny is rekindled. Otherwise, good characters, unbelievable plot.
Zero Contact (2022)
It's coming from inside the house
Finley Hart (Anthony Hopkins) a tech guru passes away. He had started the Quantinuum Project which will allow people to teleport and other stuff. Five trusted people are needed to input codes or else. And there are those opposed to having them put in the codes. We watch most of the drama play out looking at folks on their computer.
Film was boring. Might appeal to some geek who loves low budget science fiction drama.
Guide: F-word. No sex or nudity.
Hustle (2022)
Never Back Down
Stanley Sugerman (Adam Sandler) is a basketball scout for the 76's, which explains a lot about the real world. He stumbles across a nobody while in Spain who he wants to sign. But there are issues that must be overcome.
This is one of the better Adam Sandler films. AS Adam is basically not funny when he tries too hard. Decent basketball drama with a lot of BB stars.
Guide: F-word. No sex or nudity.
Jurassic World Dominion (2022)
Formally extinct animal right activists.
Man is now competing with dinosaurs for the planet and the problem they have is "illegal poaching." Biosyn is a genetic company that has created a locust that destroys crops that are not made from their GMO seeds. It is run by a Steve Jobs looking guy (Campbell Scott). There is no introduction of characters. Maisie Lockwood (Isabella Sermon) the daughter/clone of Charlotte is kidnapped by Biosyn because of her DNA. Chris Pratt, talk to the hand raptor whisperer, who made me lose interest in the series, is at the rescue. And like a Marvel movie trying to kill Thanos, they bring back as many characters as possible or at least the shaving cream can. And of course the carnivore must be bigger and badder in every film and right now it is about the size of infinity minus one. It doesn't make it as scary as the first T-Rex or raptors. Boring. Jeff Goldblum is not dead and I was hoping they would cross him with insect DNA, even though that has been done. I will say this is the first major film I have seen in a long time that didn't have a gay or interracial couple.
Last Seen Alive (2022)
Let me see her
Lisa (Jaimie Alexander) and Will Span (Gerard Butler) not to be confused with warlock Will Spanner, are having martial issues over her one night stand. Lisa wants space as Will drives her to her parent's house. On the way there they stop for gas and Lisa gets abducted. Will reports the crime to the police, but when he discovers clues, he does not inform the police that a normal person but goes vigilante.
Could have been better. He doesn't slowly, painfully, and entertainingly extract information like Liam Neeson. You pretty much know what is going to happen. It was just a matter of getting there and attempting to be entertaining along the way.
Guide: F-word. No sex or nudity.
Lolita from Interstellar Space (2014)
It's hard to explain
Lolita is an alien whose ship is the same set as "Stacked Racks from Mars." Remind me not to eat at that table. She is failing Earth Culture studies and travels to Earth and moves in with a bunch of college students and has sex with everyone.
Guide< Sex and Nudity (Anna Morna, Christine Nguyen, Karlie Montana)