lord_president Reviews

Patient Zero (I) (2018)

If Ikea made a zombie movie

[3/10 · 27 August 2023]

Recipe for a mediocre movie: Take one blender, add a whole lot of cliches, a cheap set that looks like a warehouse on some industrial estate, a little fake blood and blend on high for 2 minutes. The resulting smoothie tastes stale and familiar from the gung-ho colonel to the hipster scientist, from the underground army base to the novel infection that turns people into monsters.

Matt Smith avenges Dick Van Dyke's cockney accent with a faux yank one that's just as wonky though he tries but the material is very High School drama project from the plot to the dialogue. They even crawl through the air conditioning ducts at one stage.

The Blue Dahlia (1946)

Shane takes it on the lam

[9/10 · 5 January 2023]

I bought this on spec partly because of the Chandler credit and partly because it was from Umbrella so I knew the print would be as clean as it could be.

Ladd looks good and puts in a good performance in a script that feels like it could have been truly great if the business of Hollywood hadn't wanted it good enough.

Special mention goes to Doris Dowling as a victim lots of people would want to kill.

William Bendix steals it though with a great performance alongside a thumping sound effect only he can hear especially in the third act but there's a bit with a match that makes no sense to me.

First there's a lot of red herrings, coincidences fisticuffs, plot holes big enough to drive a 1942 Plymouth Convertible through and a rubber cosh gets some action too. The ending is a bit of a twist which I won't spoil though I pegged it well before the characters and I'm no Sherlock Holmes.

So, having damned it with faint praise I still enjoyed it all the way through and don't regret the on spec purchase.

The Ghost and Mr. Chicken (1966)

And they used Bon Ami!

[8/10 · 28 January 2022]

I was born only a year before this was made and when I was about 8 it was my favourite movie. It's been on my want list for ages.

Anyway, I approached watching this with some trepidation because I didn't want to possibly ruin cherished childhood memories by seeing a whole lot of flaws I didn't notice then. I needn't have worried. Half an hour later I still have that stretched feeling in my cheeks from prolonged smiling.

A workable script (not Casablanca but not trying to be either), a great ensemble of character actors and plenty of laughs running for just long enough to not drag. Knotts sure could pull off a comic faint like a pro.

Mimic: Sentinel (2003 Video)

A monster movie doesn't have to be a killfest to be good.

[8/10 · 2 January 2022]

I only watched this because it was in the box set but I am glad I did. For the third in a series or second sequel (whichever way you want to put it) this seriously didn't stink and may even have been better than the first sequel. Good script, acting that rose to that script and enough scares to keep me interested and not sneering like they just phoned it in.

War of the Worlds (2019– )

Non habit forming sedative the world needed?

[3/10 · 6 October 2021]

I have just seen the final episode (I wouldn't call what I saw a climax) of this torpid mess and I ask myself why? Why make sci-fi with all the excitement bled from it? To prove that you can? Why use the name of a classic story and then make another story (I've asked this before)? Why base a "story" around being on the wrong side of the Grandfather paradox? Why greenlight three seasons of it?

There were a few middling interesting characters and situations but not enough to carry it along.

When Marnie Was There (2014)

Restrained and mature Ghibli excellence

[10/10 · 31 August 2021]

I heard this movie was poorly received. I dunno about that, it's rating7.7/10 right now but, having just seen it again I think it is one of the best the studio has done. It's not flashy or loud like Spirited Away or Howl's, great as they are but an orange is not a bad apple. The fantasy is of a more subtle nature and the characterisation is great, driving the story, which is what should always happen.

The revelation at the end had me in tears.

The visuals and the music were delightful as well.

Fisk (2021– )

Laugh out loud funny

[8/10 · 1 April 2021]

Aussie comedy can be a bit hit and miss but I found this funny right from the beginning. I've seen Kitty's stand-up and stuff but the acid tongued, borderline personality of Fisk the character was an immediate hit with me. Lots of cloud-cuckoo cast members and outrageous situations keep the laughs coming.

Bluey: Sleepytime (2020) Season 2, Episode 26

Made me blub

[10/10 · 1 April 2021]

Although Bluey is generally wonderful this episode was so beautiful I just cried. It should come with a warning for the chronically sentimental.

The Maltese Falcon (1941)

Could be my favourite movie.

[10/10 · 13 March 2021]

I'm almost sure but there are a couple of movies I call my favourite depending on mood, The Falcon is always up there in top three though. I won't waste time telling you why it's a great movie. Everyone knows it's one of the very best ever made. I'll just list a few things I like about it. * Shouting "liar" at Mary Astor every time her character tells another big fat lie. *Art Deco bull nose cabs with a bonnet alone as long as many modern cars. *Elisha Cooke Jr. rolling his eyes in fury. *Sidney Greenstreet chortling "by Gadfrey". *That perpetual match on Sam Spade's desk. *That last scene where Mary Astor goes down in the elevator in custody while Bogie goes down the stairs, his footsteps in time to the music.

Taras Bulba (1962)

Fond childhood memories sometimes should stay that way

[7/10 · 12 March 2021]

I have always enjoyed this film but it's been a few years since I saw it and I've changed even if it hasn't. Maybe it's because I know more about the art of movies but this time things like the heavy use of matte paintings were obvious, the horses were American breeds and didn't look at all like Steppe ponies and in one scene near the end a guy has a bent spear that looks like it was made of kitchen foil. All of that doesn't matter much though but what did put me off this time was the treatment of horses (and cattle) in some scenes and I knocked off stars for that. The good bits are the scene where the old hetman is trampled and Yul Brynner declaiming all over the place like a big ham, the score which is stirring and at least one cast member was a voice actor in Bullwinkle and Rocky (always a plus).

Casablanca (1942)

More than just a movie

[10/10 · 10 March 2021]

I was watching this tonight and when Victor Lazlo welcomes Rick "back to the fight, and this time I know we will win" I thought that although *I* know the allies won the war nobody then knew any such thing and there was a lot still to happen. If the Nazis had won I wondered if we would even know about Casablanca and Rick's or would they have destroyed all the prints and forbidden any mention of it. Would Bogart have met Bacall? This is more than just a movie, I reference the Marseillaise scene whenever someone online says something stirring and profound, it is one of the most moving scenes I know. The young man at the roulette wheel, the Legion D'Honneur on Louis' chest, Rick's friendship with Signor Ugarti though he tries to hide it, The searchlight that sweeps the Cafe from time to time there are so many layers to this movie that rewards re-watching. This year I adopted a white kitten. I waited for his name to reveal itself and one day he stood on his hind legs and looked at me with sad eyes and that white fur like Bogey's linen suit so I knew I had to call him Rick.

The Big Country (1958)

This is what they mean by horse opera

[10/10 · 17 February 2021]

I mean it's totally Wagnerian with the two old men so deep in hate they can't feel anything else, the retired sea captain with nothing to prove to anyone, the childish hellion he came to marry and the quiet, determined woman he would. All this set against stunning and unique scenery with one of the most iconic western soundtracks ever written. If it HAD been a musical it sure would have had some good songs. I could happily listen to Gregory Peck read the telephone book (dated reference) but Burl Ives stole the show in one of the best endings any Western ever had.

The Mighty Hercules (I) (1963–1966)

Revenge at last.

[7/10 · 7 October 2020]

Johnny Nash died today. After all these years of torment I have revenge for one of the most common earworms I get.

Of course to celebrate I watched about 3 hours of episodes on Youtube. It took me right back to being 8 and sitting too close to our old HMV. I always thought Newton was pretty bloodthirsty deep down, he just likes Herc to do the dirty work. Speaking of which I wonder if Daedalus was driven mad by the death of Icarus and his mistreatment by Midas long before Prince Dorian showed up. He should settle down with Wilamene and they could start a refuge for lost and abandoned familiars. At least now, after all these years I know what it is he shouts as he goes back up to Olympus. Despite the less than astounding animation I am still excited by the character design which has a slight Jack Kirby flavour.

In the end though is that theme. Mr Nash sure put his heart into it making it instantly memorable and something to tickle the memory of a (getting) old man. Softness in his eyes, Iron in his thighs, Virtue in his heart, Fire in every part, Of the Mighty Hercules.

Shane (1953)

What a really good western should be.

[10/10 · 6 October 2020]

My mother introduced me to westerns. I am a lefty artistic vegan so I should hate them and the "cattle men" in them but I love the morality play aspect of the western art-form and there are few movies where this shines brightest as in Shane. "A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do" is what this film is all about. Throw in one of the vastly under-rated Elisha Cook Jr.s best performances as the hot headed "Stonewall", Jack Palance at his menacing best and that famous final, heart wrenching scene and there are few movies within and without the genre that just work like this. We love you, Shane

The Tomorrow People (1973–1979)

My COVID binge series

[7/10 · 25 May 2020]

Due to a timeslot conflict back in the days before even VCRs I never saw this back in the day so I am taking advantage of social distancing to binge it online to see what I am missing. I have been told that this was Thames TV's pale imitation of Doctor Who which is both factually correct but misses the point. First of all it had a fair run for any series. Dr Who is almost unique for it's long run so it's a bit unfair to use that yardstick. The effects and sets are cheaper than Dr Who but not as cheap as late Blakes 7. If I had seen it as a kid I am sure I would have loved it just as much as other stuff I was watching then. As an adult I am smirking a bit but definitely a fan. There is a tendency for villains to give up a bit easily (perhaps in fear of Whitehouse?) but there are some very sophisticated ideas being thrown about and (mostly) the science is real rather than technobabble with a credited science adviser. The worst thing about it is that either it was hurriedly rehearsed or they were too pressed to re shoot as flubbed lines are a bit too common and last night I lost it laughing at the boom mike popping in and out of shot but that's minor.

Upgrade (2018)

Who are these people... and why haven't I heard of them?

[8/10 · 25 May 2020]

So I caught this on TV the other night, I can't remember if it had a cinema release in Australia or not but I don't remember hearing of it. I came in a bit late (missed a few minutes but was there for the set up) partly because of reviews here and the fact I didn't know any of the cast (I mean not one!) but this is the movie I wanted the Live Action Ghost in the Shell to be rather than the pale imitation of the anime it was. Leaving aside the minor plot holes all science fiction brings with it (and I say that as a fan) this is a well paced cyberpunk thriller that makes you flinch at he blood spattering and culminates in the big questions of life which good SF should explore. It wasn't nearly as dumb or corny as I feared. I sort of expected Starcrash meets Demolition Man but thankfully it was far ahead of that and more like Moon meets Minority Report. I have a long history of being attracted to the AI characters in SF. They got me where I live.

Ghosts (2019–2023)

Me love Robin

[10/10 · 1 May 2020]

I mean, what can you say about a chess obsessed caveman? A great show with a proven ensemble and witty (and touching) scripts and a lesson to everyone to make sure you die with your pants on.

Train to Busan (2016)

Sweet and spicy.

[10/10 · 28 March 2020]

I don't like giving 10 stars, it implies I am lazy or overzealous but I honestly can't think of anything to knock a star off for. I dunno if that is how the Koreans do stuff (I've only seen one other Korean horror film that I know of, The Host) but this was a sweet and spicy movie. The spicy part was all over the place in the form of slavering hordes of really stressed out zombies who probably need to chill. There was plenty of action and distinct rounded characters in some big scenes. The sweet was the truly tragic note to the finale which, like in The Host really grabbed you in the feels. Kim Soo An is a great actor and I hope they didn't do something nasty to make her cry like that.

Brigsby Bear (2017)

Unexpected delight

[8/10 · 17 December 2019]

Reading the synopsis this was not at all the farce I was expecting, I love me a good farce. Instead of belly laughs though I ended by choking up in a good way. It doesn't try and pass judgement on anyone but just lets events flow as the Tatiesque consequence of the event before. The craft work I intended to finish while I watched remains unfinished as I just had to know where the writer was going with this. I realise I was still expecting some sort of a punch line which is something this movie does not give out freely. I'm guessing that's because punch lines need a fall guy. That said there are elements that made me slightly uncomfortable but only slightly. Just niggling doubts that the writer was playing the long con with me though I couldn't point at anything specific. I am told I am a cynic. I want to see those tapes, I am SO jealous!

The New Legends of Monkey (2018–2020)

Appalling, cheap and lamer than a 3 legged racehorse.

[30 January 2018]

Why make a version of a classic story when the first thing you are going to do is throw the source material in the woodchipper? The lore was muddled, the costumes dreadful (nylon fleecy fabric and on screen zippers), the jokes laboured, the fights even more laboured and Thunderbirds has a less wooden cast. It's hard to see where the money went, ANY money.