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Evan Almighty (2007)
Godawful, no pun intended
The real miracle in this movie is that Steve Carell read the script and still agreed to do the film. I don't know how much money they paid him but it wasn't enough.
They All Come Out (1939)
fun prison propaganda film from the 1930s
How can you not like a movie that features a bad guy getting a blowtorch to the face when threatening the handsome young naive hero? And action scenes where they just speed up the film? Good fun.
Alfred Hitchcock Presents: Crackpot (1957)
Worst. Episode. Ever.
Totally ridiculous plot, without a shred of reality. Even back in the fifties, didn't courts put any limits on police behavior about gathering evidence? The only saving grace is Robert Emhardt, who is always a pleasure to watch no matter what awful material he's given to work with.
The Simpsons: The 7 Beer Itch (2020)
Worst. Episode. Ever.
A few laughs, but terrible episode by simpsons' high standards. Musical numbers are always a downer.
Jenny Slate: Stage Fright (2019)
I find her off-putting.
Bailed after 8 minutes. She's better as an actress. And that face, oy vey.
Nightmare Alley (1947)
what a disappointment compared to the book
It's a cliche that "the book was better", but wowee is it true in this case. To be fair, a movie loyal to the book would have to be a miniseries. And the book was more explicit than any movie could be. But the reading experience was without exaggeration the most depressing I have ever had, while the movie has that awful tacked-on ending with the schmaltzy music to try to be upbeat. And (just my opinion), Tyrone Power is horribly miscast. Still, the movie is worth watching just to see how they attempted to translate the book to the screen.
Mr. Soft Touch (1949)
I hated this movie so much I quit after 45 minutes
There's something about this movie that just bugs me. It does nothing well, no matter what it tries - comedy, crime thriller, romance. Ugh. It actually made me a little queasy. The only thing more embarrassing than seeing Glenn Ford in this was seeing him in "The Visitor".
J.C. (1972)
Reminds me of a Billy Jack movie, and that ain't a compliment
A good drinking game would be to take a shot every time you see the boom mic.
The Alfred Hitchcock Hour: Thou Still Unravished Bride (1965)
So, so bad
Never saw a TV episode in which every single character is creepy, and pointlessly creepy at that. Never been to England, and now I'm glad. The other reviewers have it 100% correct.
A Christmas Carol (1938)
Stick to the Alastair Sim version.
Just awful, compared to the Alastair Sim version. Clive Owen is just painful to watch.
Desperate Journey (1942)
Awful, just awful.
A movie so bad it makes you root for the Nazis. The real desperate journey must have been for the exits in the theaters.
The Shoes of the Fisherman (1968)
The Most Pretentious Story Ever Told
The most pretentious movie ever made. Unintentionally hilarious, not in any particular spot but in overall tone. Especially funny is David Janssen at his earnest best.
Lifeforce (1985)
Everything but the kitchen sink
Wowee, this was bad. Chock full of unintentional laughs and high-class British actors somehow keeping a straight face while spouting hammy dialogue with a background of overly dramatic music. The only good thing is the special effects of the spacecraft (the special effects on earth range from cheesy to hilarious.) And why do scripts always have the characters shouting names at each other? If you're telepathically linked to someone, do you really have to repeat their name over and over again to get their attention? Supposedly a lot of opening footage from the spaceship was cut, which is unfortunate, as that was the best part of the film.
The Night Visitor (1971)
Hokey but entertaining
This movie has plot holes large enough to fly a 747 through. For one example, The Flash could not run as fast and as far as Max von Sydow apparently can, in freezing cold and wind, wearing only his skivvies. Exactly how far is it supposed to be from the asylum to the farm to the town?! For another, Trevor Howard, who is portrayed as a Lt. Columbo but is about as competent as Inspector Clouseau, never thinks to check for footprints in the snow. But it's fast paced and the acting is very good, although how the actors managed to keep straight faces is beyond me.