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dpskywalker
Reviews
The Village (2004)
Requires an intelligent audience
This movie is plain brilliant. Period. The majority of people will not like it, however, because the majority of people do not have the I.Q. to understand it. If you like at most of the reviews here, they are riddled with a lot of "How come's" and "Why don't they just's." All of these are easily refutable. For example:
HUGE SPOILER WARNING!!!
I've heard many morons say "Of all the people they could send, why would they send the blind girl?" They absolutely must send the blind girl because she cannot see! What would happen if she saw a car? She would freak out, and the secrecy of their village would be ruined. That's why the escorts had to stop at the trail.
"Why don't they just go out and find another place to live?"
Because William Hurt's character, the son of a billionaire, was exposed to an enormous amount of greed, backstabbing, murder, and distrust that billionaires have to deal with. The Village is something he has funded to keep his people safe from this corruption. The "People of whom we don't speak" are just an insurance policy to keep them out of the forest and away from the borders.
This movie is incredible.
Cradle 2 the Grave (2003)
What did you expect?
While I would love to critically tear this film apart...I must first ask myself what I was expecting. A movie stariing DMX and Jet Li with a generic meathead title that couldn't be more vague and have less to do with the movie...I can't hope for much. And I didn't get much either. Complaining about this movie would be like going to McDonald's and wondering why you didn't get filet mignon. It is nothing more than the run-in-the-mill crap that it looks like.
What bothers me the most is that this film really could have been a lot cooler if they made the fight sequences more realistic. Unless Jet Li is Weapon X he's not going to be able to beat up 15 professional fighters inside a cage....but then again...What was I expecting? If he would have called them all out and said "Each of you, one at a time...unless you're not man enough!" it would have not only been more realistic but just plain cooler.
Don't go into this movie expecting The Two Towers and you'll be okay. If you want to be haphazardlessly entertained by a stereotypically lame 21st century action flick...go for it. Have fun.
3/10
And the Oscar for Best Picture goes to Return of the King. (at least it better).
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)
A new level of Cinema
This is the only film I've ever seen that embodied EVERY positive aspect of cinema. Effects, drama, humor, action, suspense, emotional, breathtakling, etc.
If this film does not win best picture, it will exceed the injustice that occurred in 1998 when SHakespeare in Love beat out Saving Private Ryan.
10, inarguably.
Eight Crazy Nights (2002)
An absolute abortion
This film was the tip of the iceberg. It reaches a level of awful that actually surpasses XXX and Die another Day.
What they hell is going on with movies the past few months. They are all absolutely horrible!!!
Save you money and watch the SnoopyChristmas special if you want good holiday cheer.
Now to combine the two film series that still carry revelance:
"Help me 'The Two Towers', your my only hope."
The Transporter (2002)
I'm sick of Hollywood yanking us around
I could make this an elaborate review, but I'll keep it short and simple:
Someone shoots a rocket launcher at a man at nearly point blank range. The man picks up a trash can lid, A TRASH CAN LID, and deflects the missile.
I'm really sick of this kind of crap.
Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002)
I feel sorry for you....
I feel sorry for you who cannot enjoy an amazing motion picture like this. People complain about the dialogue: what were you expecting? Empire Strikes Back has such lines as "You no good, half-witted, scruffy lookin' nerf herder!" and we don't hear complaints. If you are going to critique Clones for such nonsense like cliches and dialogue then you must do the same for Lord of the Rings. These films are not Tarantino films, don't go in expecting them to be. And the love story is not shakespeare. These are unexperienced lovers who have never had the opportunities to express themselves, and hence they come off as childish --> completely accurate! For those of of you who take yourself to seriously and can't enjoy such an amazing film, well, it sucks to be you.
10/10
The Time Machine (2002)
6.3???
At midnight P.S.T. on the night of Time Machine's release, the score was a 6.3 for this movie. Did we watch the same film? This is one of the most pointless, boring, hole-filled, wastes of time that I've ever seen! Did the people who voted this a ten work for the film? Geez louise did this movie suck!
Money Talks (1997)
You people make me sick
Would you people stop criticising this film for such moronic things as 'it makes humor with violence' and 'it uses profanity as comedy instead of wit.' All this movie is is a stage for Chris Tucker to perform on. It's not out to win academy awards, it's out to entertain the 18-30 year olds, and that's exactly what it does. As far as the profanity goers, how many of you have watched an Eddie Murphy movie on network television? "Kiss my gosh darn foot. And suck my toes" isn't funny. "Kiss my Motherf***ing a$$. And suck my D!*k" is. That's why we have ratings. Swearing is funny, and it adds to the charachter Tucker is trying to portray. So watch this movie, pull the carrott out of your but, and enjoy it! :)
Traffic (2000)
Very good, but not great, because..........
A great movie is a movie that you can watch over and over again i.e. Star Wars, Braveheart, Jaws, Usual Suspects, Godfather. This movie is not entertaining the second time around. Great acting, great direction, good script, but it just doesn't grip you the second time like it did the first.
Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
The Greatest Film Of All Time
This takes the cake. It runs away where it's prequel stopped. We find out who everyone is, we see the dark side a lot more, and of course Yoda, Boba Fett, and the greatest uses of color ever in a film. Amazing ending. Never ending entertainment, and most of all, a dark ending that leaves you begging for more. The greatest.
A.I. Artificial Intelligence (2001)
Great film, a few things could have been better
I loved this movie. Obviously it was visually brilliant, and the acting was incredible. I think Osment is the frontrunner so far for best actor. Anyone who has a close relationship with their mom had to at least get teary eyed at the end. I am a momma's boy, so I cried my eyes out. There were a few noteably problems:
First, the flesh fair..........just not necessary, and pretty much lame. They could've done this scene in three minutes, instead they sort of dwelled on it for awhile.
Second, of course, the aliens. Firstly, I don't like the idea at all. Secondly, at least make them look like some sort of being instead of being way to CGI. The only justification I can think of for their presence is that how else could you set up that emotional one day meeting at the end?
Overall, I recommend this movie, especially to those who are very close to your moms. Go see the movie with her, and hold her hand for the last twenty minutes. 9/10
Requiem for a Dream (2000)
Wow
All I will say is that for those of you who didn't like this film, that is the desired effect. How many movies have you seen that make you cringe and want to kill yourself? This did what every movie wishes to do: Take you to another place where you experience emotions that you probably never would have had you not watched this film. 9/10