sfmonkeyboy Reviews

Zombie House Flipping (2016– )

Scripted, yes, and poorly

[1/10 · 23 July 2023]

Came across this show on the Frndly streaming service. It's one of the ones that can be watched without commercials and all episodes available. I started out with S1E1 and about halfway through I started to think that the "Duke" guy was a know-it-all jerk. Made it through about five or six episodes and started noticing a lot of constants - Duke is always building/buying things that are way over budget and usually without approval of the "team"; every episode had some major unexpected repair work needed (seriously, you couldn't go up a ladder and check out the roof before buying and see the obvious tarp with the standing lake of water on it that is causing the roof to dip down in that area - they even mentioned it when they were first viewing the front of the house); someone is always going ahead and doing what they wanted even after the "team" has decided NOT to do it; no matter how much they go over budget and adjust the original asking price way higher to cover it they always get a sale, if not in the first day viewing then shortly afterwards.... could go on but really, it's not worth it. I really thought this could be a fascinating show to watch, taking an abandoned, run down, disaster of a home and renovating it but the scripted dramas just take the fun out of it.

I mean, seriously, when the "team lead" spends a big part of the time planting fake blood, footprints, spooky noises just to prank one of his "team" when they have a set limited time to flip a property....

The Avengers: The Joker (1967) Season 5, Episode 15

I love the episode BUT

[4/10 · 14 August 2021]

The Ola character is extremely irritating. It's hard to tell if the character is supposed to be over-the-top whimsical (there's a fine line between whimsical and annoying), or if the actress is just really bad in the part. I can't help wonder why Mrs. Peel, agent extraordinaire, isn't tipped off that the whole set up is off, especially with Ola's oddball lines about teeth, fillings, Uncle Cavalier, and being at the end of the earth, all alone.

I love "The Avengers", I love Mrs Peel, but Ola sucks the life outta this one.

Father Knows Best: Betty's Crusade (1958) Season 4, Episode 24

Princess strikes again

[1/10 · 30 July 2021]

Another episode where Princess has a tantrum to get her way.

Wings: One Flew Over the Cooper's Nest (1996) Season 7, Episode 18

Really sick of the Sandy character

[2/10 · 2 June 2021]

The character and her delusions about Joe are not funny. Worse, his own brother and his own wife make fun of him about it instead of even giving him any benefit of the doubt. And Sandy's little girl voice when she's having her delusions is irritating, not comedic.

Toon in with Me (2021– )

Too many unfunny skits, too few good cartoons

[1/10 · 11 May 2021]

Fortunately I grew up with the classic Saturday morning cartoon blocks (Bugs, Tom & Jerry, Flintstones, Jonny Quest, Jetsons). Great memories. Perhaps that is influencing me with "Toon In With Me", but here goes - the cast/skits are painfully unfunny. The cartoons do have some classics, but they strew in some of the cheap knock-off animation cartoons as well (like "Calypso Cat", a Tom & Jerry MGM cartoon from the 60's) that are just shoddy and idiotic. Perhaps there is an audience for TIWM, younger viewers may relate to the puppet and host, but after watching for several weeks and finding myself grabbing the remote to mute the skits, decided it's not for me.

Hostel (2005)

waste of time and effort

[1/10 · 11 October 2006]

I have to say the ads for the movie were what peaked my interest at first. Then hearing a bit about the plot whetted my interest more (sort of a combination of "The Most Dangerous Game" and "Salo"). I wasn't a big fan of Roth's earlier work, Cabin Fever, but do like Tarantino's work for the most part. Long story short, I finally got to see the unrated version of Hostel and have to say it angered me more for the amount of money, time, and hype this piece of dreck generated. Some of the other posters on this site have said similar as far as the characters themselves -- where the basic backbone to any horror movie/victim is you have to LIKE (or at least tolerate) the intended victim in order for there to be any sort of suspense/horror/fear. But give us three totally unlikable, self-centered, hedonistic, spoiled, ***holes and who really cares what happens to them? The only thing I could think of was, could we please just kill these jerks now and move on to something else? When the "nice guy" character (nice guy insofar as he isn't quite a big a pustule as his two buds) disappears and then is shown tied up and being tortured in the "club", I felt no fear, suspense, joy, elation, nothing -- only the feeling that he really did, in some way, deserve this and worse. Same for the other two nimrods. This plot idea truly had some potential but really got wasted in the soft-porn, drugs, gaybashing, racist remarks (jokes???), stereotyping.

The Matchmaker (1958)

One of the best of it's class

[10/10 · 27 September 2006]

I just love this movie, and especially Shirley Booth in the lead roll of Dolly Levi. I had seen the Barbara Streisand version first and didn't know this one even existed until many years later. Once I saw "The Matchmaker", "Hello Dolly" took the backseat to the movie and has stayed there since. "Hello Dolly" is creative and innovative in its dance numbers and stagings etc, but Barbara Streisand is more of a nuisance and pest, and Walter Matthau is downright bitter (and tone deaf if his croaking out on "It Takes a Woman" is any indication). The enmity between Matthau and Streisand is palpable -- supposedly Matthau hated Streisand and refused to be on set with her unless they were specifically shooting a scene together. The hatred shows. Streisand was TOO YOUNG for the role of Dolly Levi. The whole idea of her seducing a bitter pill like Matthau is laughable. But in "The Matchmaker" -- Shirley Booth is incredible as the constantly meddling, good hearted, slightly nosy, overbearing at times, loving widowed woman, trying to find a living for herself in an age where middle aged women really didn't have many options. She is always cheerful, scheming and conniving but with only the best intentions for everyone involved. and here's my potential spoiler when I first saw the movie, and Dolly Levi was at the Harmonia Gardens with Horace Van Der Gelder, and she had ordered dinner and was serving his food like a mother hen and he was getting flustered and flabbergasted, but Dolly was center stage for the moment. THEN when Horace spies Irene Malloy in the next dining room and they get back together and leave, the crushed, disappointed look on Dolly's face, and when she reached over and helped herself to Horace's abandoned desert, made me start crying for this woman who wanted nothing more really than to marry Horace.

Sudden Fear (1952)

Jack Palance Leading Man

[10/10 · 25 September 2006]

I just wanted to toss in the mix here. A lot of comments are made in the movie and online here regarding Jack Palance's face. An interesting bit of trivia, which has never been proved nor disproved, was that Palance had to have facial reconstructive surgery for wounds received in World War II. The B-24 bomber Jack was flying crashed. This could account for his having more of a squared face and pronounced, almost sharp cheekbones. Personally, I think he was quite handsome in a very offbeat intense way in this movie. I also think that his personality (in character) was such that women would find him attractive, not so much in a pretty boy matinée idol way, but in his being (on the outside, at least) a masculine, confident, assured, compassionate, funny man.

Funny Games (1997)

Good start but turns to dreck

[3/10 · 16 August 2006]

I was intrigued by this movie's description and it's reviews both on here and on Netflix. I finally rented it and watched it last night, and have to say it started out very promisingly, with a believable cast of actors and a pretty good story line. HOWEVER - when the first assault on the family occurs (one of the thugs hits dad in the knee with a golf club) no one really fights back. At a couple of spots the eight year old son goes after them, and mom tries once, but most of the time they either try to rationalize with the psychos (which they should have realized was a waste of time after dad got knee-clubbed), whimpering, or sitting and staring. Keep in mind, now, this is a family of three against two guys initially armed with a golf club. A GOLF CLUB!!! Why mom didn't reach over and pull out a mashie niblick of her own to start whaling on the guys is beyond me. And two of the family manage to escape during the movie, only to be caught and brought back by the thugs. First the son escapes and is captured, okay, you could believe that, after all, the kid's only eight; but then (spoiler) after the kid has been shot and killed the thugs tie up the parents and then LEAVE THE HOUSE! Mom and Dad finally get the gumption to get each other unbound and then they sit and try do dry out a wet cell-phone battery to call for help, rather than getting the hell out of there. They are in their summer home on the lake, they have a boat (we saw dad and son getting the boat all rigged up and ship-shape early in the movie) so why didn't they get on the boat and sail away? Perhaps the boat was scuttled by the thugs, you may query. Nope - the boat is in ship-shape condition for the thugs to drag mom (alive and bound and gagged again) onto, sail out on the lake, and push her overboard where we assume she drowns. The real breaking point for me on this movie wasn't the occasional asides the thugs made to the camera, making it seem like there was perhaps a third person involved and they were filming it for their own sick amusement later; but when mom grabs a shotgun and gutshoots one of the thugs and kills him. The other thug screams and starts yelling "where's the remote?" and finds the remote, and (get this) REWINDS the movie to before the shooting. They then re-do the scene so that when mom makes a grab for the rifle she doesn't succeed. So now it's a matter of is this movie a docu-drama, a psychological thriller, or a bit of sci-fi fantasy? I think they really missed a good point there, it should have continued on from the mom killing the one thug (at last they fight back) and the remaining thug carries on without his pal. The rewind thing just turned the whole movie into something unbelievable and ridiculous.

Gangs of New York (2002)

overblown, overdone, under-interesting hype

[1/10 · 4 August 2006]

I waited for the DVD release before I saw this, and I was glad I did. The rental was a lot cheaper than a theater ticket would have been, and I was able to pause the DVD for a stretch break or a little walk when needed, which, sadly, was often. If a story line can catch your interest then the time can fly by, this story line was just so excessive and so overly violent and chock full of character quirks and craziness that time slogged on slow as a mouse in molasses. Other people have said similar, the characters were so despicable, disgusting, dehumanizing, that you really didn't give a rat's rear about any of them. There were one or two decent-to-good performances, but the rest of them you had to figure were cast for name value or because they had something on Scorcese that he didn't want made public. Potential spoiler --- when Leo DiCaprio gets his face slashed in the knife fight, so badly that he is truly horrible to look at, you never really see the supposed slash, and within a day or so he looks like he may have slept on a chenille bedspread and gotten a line or two on his face, but not the side-show ogre they would have had you believe. Was there too much concern that mar his pretty boy puss and the preteens will exit the theater? I think Leonardo has some definite talent (witness him in "What's Eating Gilbert Grape?") but come on, he was slashed and stabbed in a knife fight, and in a day or two looks only as if someone had woken him early from his nap and he was a wee bit cranky. Scorcese -- you should be ashamed for this travesty.

Devil's Pond (2003)

Devils Pond a lot of muck

[1/10 · 3 August 2006]

There is nothing like a good suspense thriller, and this is nothing like one. Kip Pardue's talent is limited to a few different facial expressions, taking his shirt off once in a while, and having tantrums. Tara Reid has one basic facial expression - like someone has asked her to figure out her bank balance using an abacus with warped beads. She slowly realizes the man she married is a loon, and conveys through acting skills alone that she wonders if she left the porch light on when she left. The opening scene is of Tara smoking a cigarette, which she handles quite convincingly, looking mussed, with a scratch on her jaw. THEN the story starts, from her flashback point of view - the wedding, bride's mom reminding them to be careful on the island, mom's birthday is in a few weeks so be sure to be careful and come back in one piece, preferably with a great gift in hand. I don't know what other pictures, if any, Joel Viertel may have directed, but here's a free tip, Joel -- when you show the main character/victim at the beginning of the movie and the rest is told in flashback, we pretty much KNOW that no matter what happens, she escapes, and in this case with nothing worse than a few bruises, a scratch on her jaw, and a hankering for Marlboros. The isolated island setting is a good plot device until you see in the long shots that the cabin is in FULL VIEW of anyone who may be ambling around the pond. Tara's character also displays the ability to think quickly, a talent she must have developed from taking 16 items into the 10 items or less check out counter. She wants Kip to leave the island so she can plan her escape, so she burns up the WHOLE BOX of matches, clever girl - and Kip has to leave the island to drive to the nearest Piggly-Wiggly for smokes and lights. Tara swings into MacGyver mode and takes action. Then stays there and waits for hubby to come back so they can act some more, I guess. There's not much more to say other than this is a movie about two characters and the incredible match of wits (half-wit vs. dim-wit) between them.

Session 9 (2001)

One of the creepiest movies ever

[10/10 · 29 June 2006]

(Semi-Spoiler in the write up) "Session 9" is, without a doubt, one of the creepiest, most atmospheric and unsettling movies ever made. It keeps you guessing (is it a horror movie, a mystery movie, a supernatural movie, a slasher movie, a thriller, a docu-drama, a combination of all?) and while it may start slowly and quietly it builds up and up to an ending that you probably would not have seen coming. Every time you feel you've figured it out it takes a turn and goes in a new direction, but never loses the viewer. What is happening to these guys decontaminating the abandoned mental hospital? Is it the vengeful spirit of a deceased patient? Is there a lunatic on the lose? Is it local teens just messing with them? As the time passes and the tempers flare the tension keeps building. This is one of the movies that doesn't rely on sudden shocks or blaring musical cues to make you jump, it relies on an interesting story line and developing characters (both seen and unseen). Check it out.