jhocken-28771 Reviews

Rashomon (1950)

Irritating and saccharine

[6/10 · 5 October 2023]

I've been chewing through Kurosawa's work for a few weeks now, and mostly I've been pleasantly surprised. I thought Seven Samurai was overly long but the payoff was worth it, I found Ikiru to be heartfelt and honest, and Yojimbo is a solid story.

But here comes Rashomon, bloated even with less than a 90 minute runtime. Remember all the awful overacting that the women do in these movies? You could consider Rashomon a masterclass of just that. The wife throughout the movie spends minutes at a time just sobbing on the ground, stopping on a dime when the script tells her to. It's so unnecessary, but it stands for most of the film. There are good bits of the movie, and Kurosawa didn't totally go bankrupt on skill for this, but unfortunately, the bad parts grossly outweigh the good. Watch the first swordfight on YouTube, read the synopsis, and call it a day.

The Last Voyage of the Demeter (2023)

Pretty good, but could have been great.

[7/10 · 15 August 2023]

I read the Dracula novel in high school, and totally dig its structuring and vibe. I'm also a fan of Christopher Lee and his work as the Count. I went and saw this movie withe expectations that it would be fun and thrilling, but wouldn't be pushing any bounds or anything.

For that, I was correct, but found some unforeseen disappointments as well that ought to be mentioned.

First though, the parts I'd recommend this movie for: the setting, the score, the acting, and most of the writing. The characters are rich and different, there are few that are present just for picking off. It's easy to tell which will die quicker than others, though, just like Alien or any other monster since. The score really is gripping, bringing to mind a stifled Hans Zimmer score. I quite enjoyed the beginning half of this movie, and the established setting of the boat is strong.

But Hollywood strikes again, bringing a continuation of the same problems we've been bored with for years. There is a female character, and she MUST do everything cool and have the last word in any argument. Career seamen often step aside for this village girl to insult them or take up arms to their embarrassment. It isn't super heavy-handed, but one scene in particular made me want to tell her to just shut her mouth for another character to take the spotlight, even for a moment.

The plot armor on the female and the main male character is also seemingly thicker than the ship's mast. I'm not typically one to complain about main characters lasting to the end of a movie, but when Dracula killed two dudes in 30 seconds, both with one hit, then picks up the main guy and takes his time so the girl can save him, that's a bit too far. If the audience knows that the character isn't in any danger, they lose interest fast. Just look at Jurassic World: Dominion for that.

Like the title indicates, I believe this could have reached greatness with some minor visionary changes. Give the captain some real character moments, so he can emote like the story requires him to. Ease off the boring jump scares, opting for more creeping horror. The CGI is fine, but it could have shared the screen with some practical shots here and there.

Overall, go see the film if you really like Dracula movies, or horror/gore flicks. Not a bad film.

The Flash (I) (2023)

An Absolute Mess

[5/10 · 15 June 2023]

The Flashpoint Paradox is one of my favorite comic books, and is the only comic to make me cry. The relationship between Barry and his powers, the maturity of his final decision to undo the time manipulation he undertakes, and the alternate versions of classic characters all make that story an epic tale and one that would translate so well to the big screen.

The Flash has none of that in any good capacity. The writing in this film is infantile, trying to be funny constantly and delivering on none of it. The incessant CGI looks horrible. The movie seems to be a pasting together of meme content from around the internet in a hope to arouse interest.

Let's start with the writing. To give a good look at how they wrote this film, let's concern ourselves with the pivotal line: "Not every problem has a solution. Sometimes you just need to let go." This is spoken by Barry's mother to him as he tries to complete MATH HOMEWORK. How dumb can it get? That's horrible advice for a child doing math homework, it's unnatural to talk like that, and it's so obvious what the writers are actually getting at with the line, including their intention of bringing the line back later. To add to it, Barry has the audacity to accuse another character's entry line as being rehearsed. The other problem with the writing is that it is obsessed with shoehorning jokes and leaving spaces for audience laughter. My theater was silent throughout. The gags are borderline slapstick, and Barry Allen, a supposedly smart, witty scientist superhero, seems to be living with Roger Rabbit and taking speech cues from him.

Next, the CGI. Avatar: The Way of Water just wowed us with how fantastic a movie can look. The Flash seems to believe that immersive visuals are an option. Every other shot had at least one actor fully replaced with CGI, and seeing as there are two characters played by the same actor in most of this movie, that's a SERIOUS PROBLEM. The first scene with the two of them looked really good; I don't know why the quality took a nosedive from then on. Every bit of CG face looked like it was constructed from clay, and I couldn't help but think about how Red Dead Redemption 2 looked more lifelike than this motion picture.

The writers and producers of this film seemed to think that what the world needed, as a response to such multiversal entries into popular culture as the Spiderverse movies and Godzilla, was Nicholas Cage as Superman. Of course, Nicholas Cage doesn't really make an appearance in the movie, but a CGI version of his likeness based on the decades-old rumors of him donning the red cape disgraces the screen in a cringe-inducing cap to the climax of the film. Memes everywhere, as if that's how you should write a movie.

I was really hoping for a bit of greatness here. I have been disappointed for years with Snyder's terrible butchering of solid characters, and I was even willing to look past the few minutes we have with the fake Batman we've had from the DCEU. Unfortunately, Affleck was one of the better parts of The Flash. He managed to not go murdering everybody like he's done in the past (not Batman), and his acting and action were pretty solid. Another hero that kept me in my seat was Cara-El, written and acted rather competently, especially compared to our protagonists.

5 out of 10. Go see it if you LOVE Michael Keaton in the suit, but don't expect to see him doing any karate chopping. They leave all that difficult stuff to the computers.

The Happytime Murders (2018)

Did you expect The Godfather?

[7/10 · 20 March 2023]

Is it great? No, it's a raunchy comedy. But it's got the charm of the Muppets, great acting, the writing is solid, and it's actually funny. The noire mystery element is spot on, and for that alone, it's worth watching.

Melissa McCarthy brings the whole thing together, but the winner of the movie is certainly the human-muppet elements. They leaned in all the way with the adult side of it, which is what Jim Henson wanted for a long time but never got to go all the way with. The Muppet counterparts to various vices were drawing some serious laughs, and I'd say that the movie as a whole is funnier than most the other comedies I've watched in the past few years.

La La Land (2016)

Tangible Sensationalism

[9/10 · 23 February 2023]

La La Land turns complex ideas of wonder and wishes into a spectacular film that never falls short of beautiful.

The use of color and music throughout this whole movie shows the love of film as a medium as held by the entire creative team. La La Land has some of the quirkiest niche content, but it's done with such passion and skill that I couldn't help the smile that plagued my face for the bulk of the watch.

Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone light a fire with the tools of choreography and impeccable writing that burns from the first frames.

With a story that passes up utopian silliness for a regrettable reality, my only problem is that I didn't watch it sooner.

Brother Sun, Sister Moon (1972)

A real magic trick- make 2 hours feel like 3.

[5/10 · 2 February 2023]

This movie is bloated and pretentious, but it is quite charming. The shots give impression of prowess held by the crew, but the main cast seems about two decades late in terms of skill. There are some great scenes of Catholic rituals, which as part of the movie are worth what you give them.

As the movie goes on, and it does that in droves, it gets more interesting, with events occurring that are actually engaging. By the end, with the grand surprise of Alec Guiness's arrival, the quality of the movie steps up considerably.

Unfortunately, the freshness of a lunatic talking sense to the face of oppression gets stifled by a swift return to the previous formula.

The Guilty (2021)

A solid experience, fairly accurate

[8/10 · 3 January 2023]

Hello all. I worked as an emergency dispatcher for about three years, and there's evidence of this team actually doing their research on this one. Unlike the bloated nonsense of The Call, The Guilty is built on a solid (though not original) script that is pulsed into existence by Gyllenhaal. I believe that the unsung heroes here are more the voice performances from Skarsgard and others.

While there are some general inaccuracies, like the potent lack of professionalism, they can be pushed aside in the name of Hollywood blowing things out of proportion. But the underlying mentality is certainly intact.

There are moments of such genuine sincerity and emotional potency that any movie goer can expect to be thrashed in one way or another. A solid watch.

Luca (2021)

Way better than the last

[8/10 · 25 April 2022]

This is more like Pixar. Interesting premise, popping animation, quality writing and acting, and a story that engages the audience. I've been feeling a little let down by Disney and Pixar recently, with Soul and Raya and the Last Dragon both being sub-par flicks equipped with mediocre acting and bad writing, that held too tightly to a message they weren't even sure about.

So when Luca delivered on a premise that didn't even jump out at me, I felt it deserved a solid review. This is a fun movie, a funny movie, and a good movie. It doesn't disappoint when it prepares a scene, the writing doesn't take a back seat to instead focus on a cute character, each of the people feel like people, with motivation and quirks, and the story doesn't veer into uncanny territory or unwanted side plots.

Definitely worth a watch; added to my Pixar pantheon.

Batman: Gotham by Gaslight (2018)

Even better than the book

[9/10 · 28 March 2022]

This review is for the people whose knowledge of Batman goes beyond Nolan's trilogy or Snyder's lack of character understanding.

Gotham by Gaslight was the first of the Otherworlds line of comics, and it's arguably the best. This movie is a repurposing of the book's setting, but brings with it a much better storyline, fully equipped with a righteous reveal.

The casting choices, animation, and voice work all stand on their own, making this one of the best submissions of the animated DC universe.

Is this The Dark Knight? No, but it's worth several watches and a solid review.

Raya and the Last Dragon (2021)

Crash Course on how not to write a movie

[3/10 · 25 January 2022]

Every character blatantly, shamelessly states exposition and their character's goals and feelings. I found myself constantly asking, "Why are they just saying that?" It wouldn't stop. Every line of dialogue is so on the nose, there's no subtlety at all. This is a C-rate animated flick from the number one studio, and it's really sad.

Samurai II: Duel at Ichijoji Temple (1955)

Major step down from the first

[5/10 · 19 January 2022]

You would think that a movie that has more swordfighting than its prequel would be a little more interesting. Unfortunately, this sequel falls prey to issues that we still see today, in the department of pacing. Instead of good character moments, we get 20 minutes of trudging through a swamp while another character refuses to assist. By the end, it feels lousy and anticlimactic.

This movie isn't bad, and it isn't without great swordfight moments, but it feels like the same storyline 3 times in a row, with no changes. Of course, the same issues from the first film are present (overacting, boring/unsatisfying female presence, general soap opera qualities), but you'd think that a little more attention would be paid to the better elements here.

When it's time to draw swords, put the drama away. Yeah, we should see the other characters to lend weight and stakes to the battle. But don't stop the fight to have two characters on the sides have a conversation that doesn't change the story at all. These are issues we still see today, in movies like the modern Godzilla flicks (when the monsters come out, the people ought to disappear for us to watch the monsters).

By the end, I found myself hating all the females in the film. The lead, Otsu, was pretty good in the first. Her acting was the best of the women, and she was genuinely interesting. But this one she just blended into the operatic nonsense of it. The Geisha character was in the film for 10 seconds before having an overacted departure scene.

This film was the Star Wars 8 of samurai movies.

The Thin Man (1934)

"Yeah, see?"

[8/10 · 19 January 2022]

There are so many movies that suffer gravely from being old. These flicks go underneath the radar of most casual moviegoers, and it's hard to find a reason to watch these, especially more than once. But a very small remnant of these old movies are just as fresh as they ever were.

I have found that the older the movie is, the more probable that it won't hold up. Convincing somebody to watch 1960's Psycho is easier than convincing them to watch 1927's Metropolis.

When it comes to The Thin Man, the 30's/40's charm is all over it, including the overacting and archetypal characters. But as soon as the lead detective and his wife step onscreen, it's incredible what they're able to accomplish. The humor is potent, the acting is sharp and real, the writing is witty and quick. Without them, this flick would fall flat on its face, especially today. But I could watch these two exist in a flat world all day, and I'm sure glad they made a few of these flicks.

TMNT (2007)

Quiet down, old timers.

[9/10 · 12 January 2022]

It seems that the ratings here are dominated by a plethora of "the old ones were better," which they may be fun, but they're not good movies. This movie executes a strong original story that reflects the comics' aesthetic and vibe. The characters are involved, with each shining during the movie's acts, and this flick asks (and answers) a crucial question about leadership among the turtles, accompanied by a sweet fight scene between Raphael and Leonardo. Beyond being an awesome introduction to the Turtles, this movie also unofficially paved the way for a pretty nice show.

Road to Perdition (2002)

A Warning

[8/10 · 10 August 2021]

This is a great movie, but if you read and/or like the graphic novel, this movie will disappoint you and make you mad. If you go in thinking that this is an independent story, it's really pretty good. But in comparison to the book, they are not alike, so don't expect much there.

Batman: The Animated Series (1992–1995)

Definitive Batman

[10/10 · 30 November 2020]

If you haven't seen this show, don't hesitate. You will not be let down. Excellent writing, the accomplishment of brooding vibes, and the voice acting of the decade bring the fresh stories to life during each episode. The show grips with sympathetic villains and constant due homage to its source material. Even the documentaries about the making of the show are entertaining.

Batman: Hush (2019 Video)

Another flat DCAU entry

[6/10 · 1 July 2020]

The modern DC Animated Universe has taken multiple recent acclaimed graphic novels of the past decade and turned them into animated movies, adding them to the storyline of the Bat-Family. The Court of Owls saga, for example, was slightly modified to include Damien Wayne, and became Batman Vs. Robin. I really thought that was a great adaptation, and if you read that book, the movie is one of the better uses of those characters. However, this movie falls flat on its face as an adaptation, since it spends most of its time and momentum trying to squish this novel's plot into its Bat-Family mold.

To start with what I liked about the movie and thought it did well, I thought that the voice acting choices were, for the most part, well thought out. There were a few exceptions, but we'll talk about them afterwards. The animation style is pleasant if you don't focus on it too much, and the fights were all pretty nice. It was enjoyable to see similar/same lines from the comic in the movie as well, especially when those same lines made me laugh out loud while reading the book. Over the course of the movie, the relationship between Batman and Catwoman had a lot of highlighting, which was very favorable since the book had that as well. The ending of their relationship, however, was one of the worst parts of the movie, but more on that in a bit. Lastly, whenever Alfred talked, all I could hear was Avatar Roku from Avatar: The Last Airbender, which warrants no complaints from me. Great job there.

Now, the stuff that made me retract in confusion or disdain:

Catwoman's voice actress, Jennifer Morrison, did a really good job as Selina Kyle, but a piss-poor one as Catwoman. It sounds like nobody told her that her character would be fighting in some of these scenes. She's always very calm and flat, which works for the refinement of Selina, but it's very jarring with Catwoman.

Every once in a while, the film would try to act like it was Nolan's Dark Knight trilogy, with crazy deep dialogue and philosophy that made you think a lot. It is not that. The only real philosophy in the movie is in the last scene, where Catwoman decides to not pursue her relationship with Batman, which was some more nonsense that spawned from the DCAU not wanting to change the Bat-Family too permanently. She spits a few lines about how Bruce will never change, but her change was supposed to be toward the good that Batman represents by not killing people. Further, this entire conflict between them was an unnecessary push from the plot set forth by the killing of the Riddler. Just unnecessary and confusing through and through.

At numerous points in the movie, Batman is made to look like a complete dunce, or at least the way the movie plays out in relation to the book. For example:

In the book, Killer Croc (not Bane, like in the movie) is captured after Batman stops his kidnapping plot, and brought to Arkham. From there, Batman purposely angers Croc to get him to escape, and tails Croc out of Arkham to find who is behind the master plan, where he learns about Ivy's involvement. As Croc escapes, Batman ensures that no guards are seriously injured, and he makes a quick deal with Amanda Waller for her to wait a while before hunting down Croc so that Batman can get his information.

In the movie, Bane gets free, kills all the guards, and Waller captures Bane before Batman can learn anything from him. Like I said, not really that bad of a sequence, but if it were just a little bit different, it could have been awesome.

A couple more things:

The film is quite random in its adult content. Characters would just spout lines of lewd nonsense that threw a wrench into the tonal buildup during the movie. Damien rambling about condoms and the like. There was one exception to this, that being Joker, when being handcuffed, refers to the situation as "kinky." This is not contrary to the tone, you see, because he's the Joker, and that's how the Joker is.

Lastly, the scene where Batman is running around the bathroom smashing all the mirrors made no physical sense and took the movie from a 7 to a 6.

Overall, a movie worth a watch, but not a buy. Get it at a RedBox or something. Rent it on YouTube, but don't expect too much, especially if you read the book.

Batman: The Killing Joke (2016)

Not the Dark Knight, but not Batman: Bad Blood

[8/10 · 26 September 2019]

It seems that most of the people giving this bad reviews on here read the novel and think that every adaptation should be shot-for-shot. This movie is pretty original, and is told in parts, so it feels rather different. With multiple narrators and main characters, it sets itself aside from the typical Animated Series style that most animated Batman movies are nowadays. But I've seen some bad animated movies in this line, like Batman: Bad Blood. A mess of a film. This one has structure, character development, and some straight up SWEET shots and fights.

The Dark Knight (2008)

Every frame a glory.

[10/10 · 21 September 2019]

Unbeatable visuals. Writing that gives you goosebumps. A story and general philosophy that makes you question what a film can be. And Heath Ledger's Joker, making you question what makes a villain.

Godzilla: King of the Monsters (2019)

Written by Michael Bay's writer?

[4/10 · 21 September 2019]

Just like everybody is saying, the storyline is stupid at best, with the writing alongside it, putting way to much faith and power into the hands of humans. This tendency is the exact opposite of what you want in a monster movie. For a film coming out in 2019, when CGI is so prevalent and widely acceptable, a movie with just monsters fighting should be pretty awesome.

But if there's great monster fights and bad human interactions, then the movie can't be all bad, just don't pay attention to the human parts, right? RIGHT?

Wrong. Everytime an instance occurs where the monsters are about to clash, the camera keeps cutting back to some people on an airplane, or some people on a boat, or some people firing nukes. The only people I wanna see when the monsters are fighting are the ones holding on for dear life or being squished by giant feet and falling debris. I don't wanna see an American soldier saving some teenager, yelling, "Hold on, kid!" while an American flag waves in the back and the Star-Spangled Banner plays.

The monster fights were cool, but for the few frames that we're actually the flippin' monsters. I want a cut of this movie where they edit out all the people. It would be roughly 15 minutes, and would be a 10 star flick.

Clash of the Titans (2010)

Crushes the

[8/10 · 18 September 2019]

It seems that most the people that dislike this movie are fans of the original. The original, overacted, laughably effects-driven, mess of a story. This movie, with a well structured plot, crushing effects, and a cast and score to back a true epic, makes for a great visual journey. Sure, the dialogue is cringe-worthy at times, but it's an action flick.

Mads Mikkelson is a treat to behold, wherever he is. His role as Drago is no different, but he always seemed to be the party I was fixated upon during any battle sequence. Every new CG element, mostly the different special characters, was an opportunity for the cinematography to shine through, and every time, it's a smart, quick visual style, but not so fast that it loses the viewer.

In short, the original doesn't just suffer for the effects of the time, it suffers from storytelling issues. This remake is a way of taking something that was loved undeservingly and making it to be something worth numerous viewings.

Batman: Bad Blood (2016 Video)

Too busy, too many new characters

[4/10 · 13 September 2019]

It takes a lot for me to dislike a Batman movie, but between the busy storyline, the rating, and certain voice-acting moments, this one made me sure I was not gonna give it another watch. It's got a fairly interesting and unique storyline, with a lot of underrated, underused DC villains, but with four main characters, not counting any bad guys, it gets very busy. Each one needs its own backstory, and it comes off as more of a team movie than a Batman movie. On top of that, there's very little Batman.

There were numerous moments where something would occur that implicitly is an R rated event, but for some reason there just isn't any gore, thereby saving the PG-13 rating. Just put the gore in there, have an awesome moment, and take the R. Throat slitting, heads exploding, chest stabs, these things need their gore to make sense, but we get none, and it comes off as very strange.

The voice acting for Nightwing is abysmal in some scenes. I do like that actor's work in Firefly/Serenity, so it isn't necessarily him, but some actors just can't do studio work. He speaks quickly, and it comes off cold and colorless, as if he doesn't know his character is talking to any other characters in the story.