Change Your Image
Woelker
Reviews
The Girl Next Door (2004)
Really funny. What American Pie would have been with porn.
I got to see this movie through a free campus preview, and I have to say I would have paid to see this movie. It was hysterical. Yes, it has a lot of porn, but not it was all done with a lot of humor and nudity was, shall I say it, necessary.
Guys, you will love this movie. Not sure how much girls will like it, but you can always try the, "It's about a love story", which it is, but a love story between a porn star and a kid in high school.
Nicely done. 9/10.
The Matrix Revolutions (2003)
Overrated!
Overrated! Overhyped! Oversold! What else can I say? I am just glad I bought a "Child/Senior" ticket online and didn't have to pay full price. I mean it was good, but not really good. I mean this one made Reloaded look much better overall.
Beware SPOILERS: Why was the Matrix still around at the end? I guess the humans are cool with some of their relatives being batteries, since they were celebrating peace? What incentive did the machines have to keep their bargain once Neo was dead? How much longer could that damn scene have lasted when Trinity was dying? COME ON! Just die already!
Fist of the North Star (1995)
Worst Movie Ever!
This is simply the worst movie ever created by human kind. Please never see it and avoid it like the plaque. The acting is terrible, the premise is simply awful. The effects are the worst thing I have seen since Big Trouble in little China Town. At all costs, avoid this, even if it in involves shooting yourself squaw in the noots.
Vanilla Sky (2001)
Uhhh...How do we finish this movie??
SPOILERS! ------------------------------------- So, we have this weird, epileptic movie where a guy cannot decide if he is screwing Penelope Cruz ( a bipedal rat ) or Cameron Diaz, and it flips back and forth between the two, until the end of the movie where Cameron Crowe throws down the A.I./Matrix card, where you have been watching a dream for the last two and a half hours and the director/writer feels that they are creative geniuses for putting on this hoax that has fooled you. I feel that this was the biggest disappointment for the film. I thought it was going to have some great meaning to it, but instead I was let down by "Hey, let's just make him frozen and in a lucid dream." I would NOT RECOMMEND seeing this movie.
I was greatly disappointed. A.I. - But 2,000 years later...... V.S. - "The last time we spoke was 150 years ago".....
"Ugh" - Woelker
America's Sweethearts (2001)
Men, Avoid at all costs!
This is to all boyfriends, fiancees, brothers, fathers, uncles, etc,
AVOID THIS MOVIE AT ALL COSTS! This movie sucks. You sit there for 1 hour and 40 minutes and half an hour into it, I was ready to chew my own arm off to escape. Catherine Zeta is THE most boring actress on screen. Billy Crystal is classic. Julia Roberts does a pretty good job. Everyone else, FLAT!
The one saving grace for this movie is Christopher Walken and Hank Azaria. They are terrific!
If you have any sort of pride or dignity left, tell your significant other that you are sick, and if you are not sick, quickly down some Drano.
Thank you.
Legally Blonde (2001)
Hilarious!
For anyone who has ever been in college, law school, high school, the greek system, or ever known any contemporary woman, you will find this movie hilarious.
I got dragged along on this with my girlfriend thinking this was going to be pretty lame, but it really turned out to be exactly what I needed. After downers like A.I. and that piece of crap, Pearl Harbor, I just needed a good "dumb" movie.
This movie is not just a "Clueless" spin-off or something, it actually has some intelligent work put into the writing and Reese Witherspoon does a great job of being a dumb blonde, but a blonde with ambition.
Go see it, you won't regret it!
Rushmore (1998)
Spectacular, Highly Imaginative, A must see
This movie is great. Bill Murray is at his best. Very much like the humor in "Groundhog's Day" or "Caddyshack". Jason Schwartzman, in his debut performance, is spectacular. Extremely funny all around and a highly enjoyable film. I love this film and would go see it again. Go see it!!