alchemical-38692 Reviews

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986)

UNDERRATED and BETTER THAN THE ORIGINAL

[8/10 · 3 January 2022]

So we're 2+ years into the pandemic and I'm on a horror kick and I can't believe I just found this. While I appreciate the first movie and it's place in horror law this is better in every respect. There are some deadset creepy scenes and it has a great sense of humour. If you like to 420 to movies and you haven't seen it this is essential viewing.

... Thank me later.

Brain Dead (1990)

Fabulous B Movie Schlock/Dreamfest

[7/10 · 22 December 2021]

As Keanu would say "woah"... So during pandemic I've been watching a LOT (like many people I'm sure) and I've watched everything on Netflix im done with "modern tv" I'm now onto Tubi and especially the genre of 70s/80s/90s horror/adventure/thriller. It just suits my 420 style (know what I mean?) to a) be able to watch actual plot driven movies over the effects driven drivel of today, and b) to be able to have a laugh at some old classics I've never seen.

So if this sounds like you and you're just chilling at home with time to kill and poppa got a brand new bag I highly (!) recommend this movie.

Red Notice (2021)

It doesn't get much worse than this...

[3/10 · 18 November 2021]

Look. I get that these type of movies are meant to be a bit of fun... and in that it utterly fails. If maybe Ryan Reynolds new how to do anything else, or if this movie wasn't EXACTLY like 99% of everything he's ever done- then Maybe this would be average... but it's not so that's why I give it a terrible rating. Also I can't stand how Reynolds glorifies crime especially murder (less so in this movie which copies 80% from the similarly awful Bodyguard movies ) as something funny or interesting. It's not. Reynolds is a (sad) joke. Please never do another movie again. Sincerely.

The Greasy Strangler (2016)

I'm not the greasy strangler

[8/10 · 13 November 2021]

This movie is easier to handle and laugh at (because that's what it us, a comedy) if one is a) with a friend (definitely not a date) and/or b) sampling some medicinal herbs. I was neither the first time I saw this and didn't enjoy it; but both the next time and loved it. Don't get me wrong, those two things don't guarantee you'll enjoy it, as it's not everyone's cup of tea, and there are some scenes that are gratuitous and disturbing yet impossible to look away. But as a silly laugh this is hard to beat.

One of the better quirky films in recent memory.

The Furnace (2020)

The Aussie western of 2020

[8/10 · 28 January 2021]

Been a while since Australia did as decent western... and this is it. I'm not here to give anything away. Suffice to say, this is not ur typical movie. Good to see roles reversed. Trying to comment without giving anything away. U will enjoy.

ZeroZeroZero (2019–2020)

The Best Thing On TV in FOREVER. PERIOD

[9/10 · 24 January 2021]

Now I'll preface saying no movie in my opinion is a 10, nor is this, nor would I rate it like that because it's not perfect... but it's not far off. And as far as entertainment if u like The Sopranos, The Wire, Goodfellas, Nic Cage etc then this is ur jam. And I give it my highest rating ever. This series did everything asked of it; kept me guessing, intelligent, unpredictable, smart yet funny, courageous, terrifying, humane. And then some. This show is the best I've seen in years. It's a pity there's only one season I beg for more. (Canada does drama very well). Also mix in stellar casting/acting and u have everything u need right here. BRILLIANT FROM THE GET GO. Thanks!

Run with the Hunted (2019)

Hallucinogenic Oliver Twist

[4/10 · 23 June 2020]

Reading thru other reviews as I downloaded this, deciding if it was worth watching, I decided it was, with good actors but within 20 minutes my mind was spinning as I asked myself repeatedly "where have I seen this before"? But it wasn't the plot, nor were it the actors. It was a riff on Oliver Twist. So if any adults are familiar with Fagin and the concept of the "kid school for criminals" then this will look familiar. Is it worth watching? That's up to you. I didn't mind it. But it wasn't great.

The Rising Hawk (2019)

IDC what the reviews say - this is a good movie

[7/10 · 9 June 2020]

This is a decent movie by any metric. My only guess is fans of GOT or LOTR who expect CGI and huge battles... but aside from a few historical inaccuracies (like Vikings) this is a thoroughly enjoyable and entertaining romp into 13th Century Europe and I enjoyed it immensely. Especially the fighting versus the Mongols. Leave pretentions aside and you'll enjoy this from start to finish. Fantastic scenery abounds and a decent plot entertains. Recommended.

Mortal Kombat Legends: Scorpion's Revenge (2020)

This is the best anime I've seen

[8/10 · 18 April 2020]

So like a lot of ppl, I'm enjoying quality time at home during a quarantine. And having watched everything on Netflix I'm checking out documentaries and horror and other genres I usually don't indulge in... which is how I arrived at this. I'd down loaded it for a friend and decided to put it on, and watch it - and to my surprise it's FANTASTIC. It's R-Rated level violence, insane fight sequences, and a better plot than any of the movie adaptations. I'm a 45yo man and I watched it and enjoyed it, and look forward to the sequel (?). I don't throw around ratings, and 8 is as high as I've given on IMDB. This is exactly as advertised, in fact, better. 8/10

Guns Akimbo (2019)

Guns Akimbo? lol...More lk 'Plot Redundant GTA'

[4/10 · 4 March 2020]

I'll star by prefacing I'm not the type who rates a movie 0 if I don't like it, and 10 if I do. To me there's way too much of that going on on this website Anyway, this movie could so easily have been better. And it's not just the drawn on face tattoos (seriously), the pink haired girls nor the mandatory mohawked 'toughs'; nor even the cliche gunfight where the person with the glock outshooting the machine-gun and the inevitable bad guy switch. It's so much more than that. This movie sucked on a molecular level. I see in some reviews here there's apparently eye candy, but if want that I'd suggest YouTube or a streaming service where you can at least maybe be surprised, and you're not forced to watch an hour knowing from the start absolutely EVERYTHING that's going to happen. This is that bad video game movie with the alleged 'A-lister' that the only question you'll ask with any sincerity... is why? It's not fun. It's not relevant. There's other options. Don't bother. 4/10

Don't Look Now (1973)

I created an account to call this movie out

[3/10 · 5 February 2020]

Okay. I will confess a few things. I consider myself not just a horror movie connoisseur, but a movies-in-general connoisseur. I've been to film school, and I've reviewed movies for a job. Getting that out of the way, my advice to you is, unless you're over 50, don't watch this movie! I hadn't heard about it until I found one of those "50 Greatest Horror Movie" lists, and lo & behold this movie was around 25 and I hadn't seen it, so I looked it up, downloaded it thinking nothing could go wrong, I mean it has stellar ratings on IMDB, and they wouldn't lie to us! That has to change. Firstly this is in no way a horror. A thriller? ... I'd say mildly. Put it this way, when the end approached, I thought "nothing scary has happened yet, it must be a twist like The Usual Suspect's" and then womp wah, The end. This is a horrible boring movie, with nothing going for it and no redeeming features. I have no idea why it's so highly rated but my only guess is old people perhaps haven't seen the "real" horror movies I would consider "scary" because honey, scary this ain't it. As a thriller it's a 4. As a horror it's a 2. I give it 3.

Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood (2019)

TARANTINO IS TALENTED BUT OVERRATED

[7/10 · 22 November 2019]

I respect Quentin's work very much. I really do. His legacy in modern culture is virtually unparalleled, as much of modern cinema could be considered 'post-Pulp-fiction'. I consider him the Hitchcock off our times (in talent, not similarity of style). But being a fan doesn't necessitate adoring everything he's does; and frankly I find his 're-takes' on history somewhat wearing. I understand he likes to genre band, and kudos for trying something different. But there are a few things in OUATIH that irked me. Without going into details and spoiling it I'll just say a martial arts legend gets poorly treated in order to flesh out Brad Pitt's character, as well as the obviously huge retake on a certain event that happened in L.As Cielo Drive - and is the basis for the notion that the 60s lost it's "innocence"... or does it? Well it would be if it happened slightly differently to how we see it. And thus is my issue. And I guess what frustrates me is I don't know why he does it. But I guess maybe that's just him, that's just what he does. It's not my cup of tea, per se. It's also nearly four hours long. Not necessarily that it feels it to a fault. I will say it's a fun romp notwithstanding So suspend your inner critic (if you can) and enjoy a fabulously acted 'period piece'. DiCaprio is OUTSTANDING. QTE

Confessions of an Opium Eater (1962)

Confessing I LOVE IT

[10/10 · 5 August 2018]

With Vincent Price on board, and endeavouring to do a screenplay of Thomas Dequincey's classic novella: I mean what could go wrong? Look, if you're expecting too much; nor are sufficiently stoned, this might not be your bag, BUT if u love black and white movies, with great acting and not having to rely on SFX to make the show, this will be right up your (dark) alley!

Planet America (2012– )

You don't have to be Australian but it helps

[7/10 · 26 July 2018]

This is astute comedic political commentary done in a specific style, and is not to everyone's tastes, but it does gives a bipartisan take on the world of American politics (read: Trump's America). If you are a regular on Fox, this won't be your bag - but it also isn't a liberal satire like what Samantha Bee does. This is much more subtle, there's no name calling here. Honestly, the two presenters are ABC Australia regulars and seeing them riffing is a good reason to watch the show alone - however Planet America could be a lot better, but it is a (fairly) young show u can see the show has tried different ideas, to varying degrees of success. But when they stick to astute and observant comedy they are in their best element. Recommended

Tomb Invader (2018 TV Movie)

Not a 10/10... but NOT a 2 either

[7/10 · 16 March 2018]

It's so very easy to be a critic... and I can see this won't win any awards, but neither will half the shlock u see this year (depending on yr type I guess). I watch movies daily, and this movie was FINE. It's not the budget of the original movie - but it's okay. If u enjoy a decent flick, with a solid amount of action; u will have ZERO issues with this movie.I mean Alien Covenant was pretentious, Bladerunner 2049 was pretentious, TI is NOT in the least pretentious... and I have no issues at all with it. If yr not a movie-nazi, u will enjoy it!!!

Ancient Civilizations (2017– )

Episode 2nd thru 8 are quite interesting. It gets silly by ep.09 & .10

[7/10 · 26 January 2018]

I actually subscribe to SOME of the theories shown in this series (ep1-8)... and i WAS digging this series UNTIL the crazy channeler starts talking about what Thoth looks like, etc etc I mean i DON'T subscribe to Hancock and Michael Nemo (?) bc as an archaeologist they're renowned crazy and discredited. So there are a few talking heads from Ancient Aliens shown (a show i DON'T subscribe theories from) but at leats Hancock is well presented and a sightly better source...