Now Buck is gay? The show has dropped into the dumpster the past few seasons but the current one is just absolutely idiotic. First the ridiculous Poseidon Adventure ripoff and now Buck (out of nowhere) suddenly realizes he's gay after spending the first few seasons hooking up with every women he met? They already ruined 911: Lone Star with that nonsense, but I guess Ryan Murphy decided to live out his personal fantasies in this show too? Or did they just start stealing fanfic off the internet? What utter amateurish trash. I was a fan but this season just turned me off. I'm done with it. Good riddance.
Reviews
58 Reviews
Elsbeth
(2024– )
Weak writing ruining a great character
20 April 2024
On The Good Wife (2009) and The Good Fight (2017), Elsbeth was a terrific character who won cases by using her brilliance and ability to come up with unique solutions to tough cases others couldn't find.
That's not so in this series. Here she solves the same generic, run-of-the-mill, Murder She Wrote type simple crimes other amateur detectives have been solving on TV for years.
And they're so easy to solve, anyone could do it, except, of course, the actual trained detectives who look like idiots as they miss obvious clues every step of the way.
I'm shocked and disappointed that the same creators who produced Good Wife/Fight and Evil (2019) approve such amateurish boring scripts.
That's not so in this series. Here she solves the same generic, run-of-the-mill, Murder She Wrote type simple crimes other amateur detectives have been solving on TV for years.
And they're so easy to solve, anyone could do it, except, of course, the actual trained detectives who look like idiots as they miss obvious clues every step of the way.
I'm shocked and disappointed that the same creators who produced Good Wife/Fight and Evil (2019) approve such amateurish boring scripts.
Black Water: Abyss
(2020)
PG level yawnfest
2 April 2024
This movie is so, so, so boring! It's just a cheap, lazy attempt at horror that never works. Generic characters are stranded in a cave system with a croc (similar to what we've seen a hundred times before) and literally sit around waiting to be killed while they mumble inane dialogue about stuff we don't care about. Even worse, all of the kills happen off screen underwater. If not for a few F-bombs tossed in, this thing would be rated PG.
They should have followed the example of the previous yawnfest Open Water (2003) about people stranded at sea floating around waiting to die and shown Jessica McNamee naked in bed before heading to the cave. Or maybe flashed back to showing Amali Golden naked after having the sex that tied into a ridiculous plot point later in the film.
Avoid this. There are a few enjoyable killer croc and alligator movies out there. See them instead.
They should have followed the example of the previous yawnfest Open Water (2003) about people stranded at sea floating around waiting to die and shown Jessica McNamee naked in bed before heading to the cave. Or maybe flashed back to showing Amali Golden naked after having the sex that tied into a ridiculous plot point later in the film.
Avoid this. There are a few enjoyable killer croc and alligator movies out there. See them instead.
Bigfoot
(1970)
Complete waste of Joi Lansing potential
31 October 2023
If producers had put together enough money to convince the gorgeous and buxom Joi Lansing to strip naked and finally show the world her true talents, I and many others would recommend watching this dumpster fire. Or at least hire some hot extras willing to do it like other horror films at that time.
But as it is, this no-budget clunker is a total waste of celluloid and effort for the actors, production crew, and the audience. It isn't even bad in a cheesy entertaining way. It's just bad. Period. And cheap looking.
Skip this and go watch other drive-in monster flicks released around that period. One that's funny and/or creepy. And includes naked women. Lots of them.
But as it is, this no-budget clunker is a total waste of celluloid and effort for the actors, production crew, and the audience. It isn't even bad in a cheesy entertaining way. It's just bad. Period. And cheap looking.
Skip this and go watch other drive-in monster flicks released around that period. One that's funny and/or creepy. And includes naked women. Lots of them.
You're Killing Me
(2023)
1/10 for McKaley Miller keeping her clothes on
9 October 2023
You cast someone who looks like the incredibly hot McKaley Miller to star in a horror film and you don't include a nude scene? Or two? Of three?
That's insane! No, it's unforgivable!
Her clothes were so freaking tight I kept hoping they'd burst open and fly off at some point. But no such luck even though this dimwitted excuse for a movie desperately needed it considering how absolutely stupid it is.
A naked McKaley Miller running around or at least taking a shower would have gone a long way to making up for all the idiot characters doing idiotic things. Yet even her naked and soaking wet wouldn't totally excuse what is one of the worst and most ludicrous movies ever made.
But they still should have tried.
That's insane! No, it's unforgivable!
Her clothes were so freaking tight I kept hoping they'd burst open and fly off at some point. But no such luck even though this dimwitted excuse for a movie desperately needed it considering how absolutely stupid it is.
A naked McKaley Miller running around or at least taking a shower would have gone a long way to making up for all the idiot characters doing idiotic things. Yet even her naked and soaking wet wouldn't totally excuse what is one of the worst and most ludicrous movies ever made.
But they still should have tried.
Black Christmas
(2019)
Mess spits in eye of original and fans
8 October 2023
I loved the original and the 2006 remake wasn't too bad, but what is this nonsense? First off, PG-13? Really?
I did some research and the director said she "worked extensively to make her vision of Black Christmas as feminist as she could" and "I wanted to make a movie where instead of feeling objectified or watched from a distance, the audience felt seen."
Which audience is she referring to? Obviously not a wide mixed audience of horror fans, especially one made of 50% males who aren't looking for sledgehammer social lessons. So I'm assuming she was aiming this at a small niche of women out for revenge against society?
Fine, I'm sure there's an audience for that, but why derail a classic film, which already had strong female characters (and I am a big fan of strong female characters), to make some airhorn-blasting statement? Make a separate horror film with a totally different title and plot instead.
Only thing I can assume is the director wanted to draw in a large male audience under false pretenses to slap them across the head with some "see what absolute scumbags you are?!!" message. It didn't work.
Most male audiences will just get irritated and switch channels, if they even bother watching in the first place with the PG-13 rating. So your message is ignored.
And the men who are actual scumbags will just laugh it off. It won't change their attitude or actions. So your message is ignored.
Most female horror fans will no doubt be turned off by the heavy handed message too. So your message is ignored.
So that means you're basically preaching to the converted with the remaining target audience. Again, that's fine. But, again, don't take a classic and popular horror film just so you can twist it into some unrecognizable fluff for your personal sermon. It won't work. And it didn't based on most of the negative fan and critical reactions I've seen.
Make your own film. And use some subtlety like other more talented directors do. Subtlety sneaks the message in. Bull horns and sledgehammers drive people away.
I did some research and the director said she "worked extensively to make her vision of Black Christmas as feminist as she could" and "I wanted to make a movie where instead of feeling objectified or watched from a distance, the audience felt seen."
Which audience is she referring to? Obviously not a wide mixed audience of horror fans, especially one made of 50% males who aren't looking for sledgehammer social lessons. So I'm assuming she was aiming this at a small niche of women out for revenge against society?
Fine, I'm sure there's an audience for that, but why derail a classic film, which already had strong female characters (and I am a big fan of strong female characters), to make some airhorn-blasting statement? Make a separate horror film with a totally different title and plot instead.
Only thing I can assume is the director wanted to draw in a large male audience under false pretenses to slap them across the head with some "see what absolute scumbags you are?!!" message. It didn't work.
Most male audiences will just get irritated and switch channels, if they even bother watching in the first place with the PG-13 rating. So your message is ignored.
And the men who are actual scumbags will just laugh it off. It won't change their attitude or actions. So your message is ignored.
Most female horror fans will no doubt be turned off by the heavy handed message too. So your message is ignored.
So that means you're basically preaching to the converted with the remaining target audience. Again, that's fine. But, again, don't take a classic and popular horror film just so you can twist it into some unrecognizable fluff for your personal sermon. It won't work. And it didn't based on most of the negative fan and critical reactions I've seen.
Make your own film. And use some subtlety like other more talented directors do. Subtlety sneaks the message in. Bull horns and sledgehammers drive people away.
Only Murders in the Building
(2021– )
Season 3 is wandering aimlessly
1 September 2023
I enjoyed the first two seasons, though mainly for Martin and Short, but the third season is just drifting aimlessly and episodes have gotten repetitive.
Characters wander about spouting limp dialogue with the rare flash of humor, and then someone finds a "clue" in the last scene that points to another character possibly being the murderer, but that character will have an alibi in the next episode so they start all over again.
Even Martin and Short look bored this season. And Gomez has never added anything to the show. She's completely out of her depth as a character and "actress."
She stumbles about with her dead eyes droning out words in an irritating nasally voice that makes you stop listening as soon as she appears. Even the occasional flashes of cleavage and lesbian kiss from last season haven't made her interesting.
As for guest stars, Streep is always a joy, even with little to do, but Rudd is completely wasted.
I'll keep watching but unless this thing kicks it up several notches (and maybe Gomez flashes more than cleavage) I suspect they won't have a fourth season.
Then again, based on Martin and Short's attitude, I doubt they'd care.
Characters wander about spouting limp dialogue with the rare flash of humor, and then someone finds a "clue" in the last scene that points to another character possibly being the murderer, but that character will have an alibi in the next episode so they start all over again.
Even Martin and Short look bored this season. And Gomez has never added anything to the show. She's completely out of her depth as a character and "actress."
She stumbles about with her dead eyes droning out words in an irritating nasally voice that makes you stop listening as soon as she appears. Even the occasional flashes of cleavage and lesbian kiss from last season haven't made her interesting.
As for guest stars, Streep is always a joy, even with little to do, but Rudd is completely wasted.
I'll keep watching but unless this thing kicks it up several notches (and maybe Gomez flashes more than cleavage) I suspect they won't have a fourth season.
Then again, based on Martin and Short's attitude, I doubt they'd care.
Werewolves Within
(2021)
Milana Vayntrub's cleavage
29 July 2023
In one scene, the hot Milana (AT&T Lilly) Vayntrub shows off her impressive cleavage dancing briefly in a low cut shirt. Nothing else about this boring PG-13 level horror/comedy (they added F-bombs to make it R) is worth watching. It tried to be more Ten Little Indians when it should have been more like The Howling.
The "quirky" characters are irritating instead of endearing or interesting, the werewolf kills happen off screen (no doubt due to the low budget), and the rest of the violence is lame at best. If Vayntrub had stripped off her shirt and bra when she danced, I'd have given this a 6/10. As it is, it barely gets a 1/10. Don't bother.
The "quirky" characters are irritating instead of endearing or interesting, the werewolf kills happen off screen (no doubt due to the low budget), and the rest of the violence is lame at best. If Vayntrub had stripped off her shirt and bra when she danced, I'd have given this a 6/10. As it is, it barely gets a 1/10. Don't bother.
Eksponert
(2021)
Talks about nudity. Didn't have guts to show it.
12 May 2023
The short film discusses whether the lead character should perform fully nude in a play even though she doesn't want to. In the end, she reluctantly agrees, but the film doesn't show her actual nudity. That inability to fully commit to the story by both the actress and the director weakens the whole point of the film.
Why spend all that time arguing for something that, as one reviewer put it, features "thought-provoking" ideas and "stir up discussion and encourage more critical thinking" about the actress doing something that would add power to the play within the story, but not show it in the film itself. It's hypocritical.
No, it's gutless.
Why spend all that time arguing for something that, as one reviewer put it, features "thought-provoking" ideas and "stir up discussion and encourage more critical thinking" about the actress doing something that would add power to the play within the story, but not show it in the film itself. It's hypocritical.
No, it's gutless.
7 Deadly Sins
(2019)
Gorgeous women. None naked.
31 March 2023
What is it about modern filmmakers not honoring the time-proven tradition of including several naked women in horror films, especially when movies as truly awful as this need something to keep the viewers attention?
But, except for a brief scene with two characters with no names or dialogue, none of the actresses are nude in this. All those gorgeous women and not a single one was willing to commit herself to her art?
Why? Did the producer blow his budget on the Eric Roberts cameo? He obviously didn't spend it on a script.
Next time, skip the overpriced has-been actors and pay the actresses more to disrobe. The viewers will thank you.
Nothing else in this film is worth watching. The tepid PG-13 level "horror" doesn't even start until 48 minutes in! Before that it's just idiot characters spewing inane dialogue.
Skip this amateurish garbage. Watch the classic horror films of the 70s and 80s instead.
But, except for a brief scene with two characters with no names or dialogue, none of the actresses are nude in this. All those gorgeous women and not a single one was willing to commit herself to her art?
Why? Did the producer blow his budget on the Eric Roberts cameo? He obviously didn't spend it on a script.
Next time, skip the overpriced has-been actors and pay the actresses more to disrobe. The viewers will thank you.
Nothing else in this film is worth watching. The tepid PG-13 level "horror" doesn't even start until 48 minutes in! Before that it's just idiot characters spewing inane dialogue.
Skip this amateurish garbage. Watch the classic horror films of the 70s and 80s instead.
The Rookie: Feds
(2022–2023)
Niecy Nash is impossible to watch
9 November 2022
Niecy Nash plays one of the most irritating characters I've ever seen. And her ear-bleeding screechy voice is impossible to listen to. I turned the first episode off halfway in.
I really liked the rest of the cast, but the excruciatingly cartoonish Nash drowns them out. She's like a baby crying in a theater during a movie. You just want her to shut up! How does she have a career?
Also, how many overweight black lesbian detectives do we need on the air? Several crime shows the last few years have introduced black female detectives who are all overweight lesbians. Why? I'd like to see straight black female detectives who are in great shape too like Katherine Renee Turner on CBS's FBI series.
If you want the show to stay on the air, kill off Nash. Fast. Cast another black actress who won't drive viewers away. Based on the other reviews here, that's exactly what she's doing. Otherwise, go watch FBI and Katherine Renee Turner on CBS.
I really liked the rest of the cast, but the excruciatingly cartoonish Nash drowns them out. She's like a baby crying in a theater during a movie. You just want her to shut up! How does she have a career?
Also, how many overweight black lesbian detectives do we need on the air? Several crime shows the last few years have introduced black female detectives who are all overweight lesbians. Why? I'd like to see straight black female detectives who are in great shape too like Katherine Renee Turner on CBS's FBI series.
If you want the show to stay on the air, kill off Nash. Fast. Cast another black actress who won't drive viewers away. Based on the other reviews here, that's exactly what she's doing. Otherwise, go watch FBI and Katherine Renee Turner on CBS.
The Equalizer
(2021– )
I'm still laughing
9 September 2022
I loved the original series and the Denzel Washington movies but when I first heard Latifah was taking over the role, I laughed so hard I spit soda across the room. And the commercials almost gave me seizures from laughing when I saw an old, overweight ex-rapper trying to be an action hero. But I gave the first episode a chance - and I'm still rolling on the floor laughing weeks later. Who thought casting her in the role was a good idea? Which producer sat there and said "You know what? We need an out of shape celebrity few people remember to play the main character." I'm a big fan of CBS shows, but this one is just too ludicrous to deal with.
Darling Nikki
(I) (2019)
A sex fantasy with no nudity? Why bother?
8 September 2022
R prudish women who watch Lifetime or Hallmark because they want sex without the "icky" nudity because it body shames them. The director is obviously one of those delusional people who think people can have sex without being naked.
Not sure if he's ever had sex, but the nudity is a major part of it. And to anyone who says "If you want naked people, just go watch porn," if you're watching this, you're watching porn made for people with phobias about nudity, one of THE most natural things in the world. Why waste your time? Go watch porn or a gazzillion other R-rated sex fantasies with actual nudity.
Not sure if he's ever had sex, but the nudity is a major part of it. And to anyone who says "If you want naked people, just go watch porn," if you're watching this, you're watching porn made for people with phobias about nudity, one of THE most natural things in the world. Why waste your time? Go watch porn or a gazzillion other R-rated sex fantasies with actual nudity.
Spring Break Massacre
(2008 Video)
Waste of so much nudity potential
4 August 2022
Unlike most horror films made since 2000, at least this director paid his day shift stripper "actresses" a few extra bucks to get naked. But then he wasted so much potential. He films an all girl strip poker scene but all we see is one set of breasts very briefly instead of extensive nakedness with all of them. That scene should have lasted ten minutes instead of 15 seconds. In another, two women are in a shower together but we only see a quick flash of one girl's boobs and a quick kiss between them. That should have been another long sequence with full frontal nudity, slobbery French kissing and their hands all over each other's bodies. Finally, there are a group of girls naked outside and we do see all their breasts, but only for about five seconds. The dimwitted director should have filmed them walking about for several minutes stark naked and from different close ups angles.
Brain Dead
(2007)
Great movie! Lots of fun and nudity
3 August 2022
I really enjoyed this. Lot of fun and some outstanding nudity you rarely see in horror movies these days. The director had every single actress strip completely naked at one point or another. Very impressive, especially Cristina Tiberia and her perfect breasts. Sadly, this is her only role.
Behind You
(2020)
I hate PG-13 films with R ratings
27 July 2022
I hate when crappy horror films toss in a few F words just to get an R rating when the rest of the film is PG-13 at best. Stop making "horror" films for kids. Make them for adults. If you want an R, earn it! Add graphic violence and female nudity. That way, when it has a boring plot and limpid scares like this one, at least it gives horror fans something to keep our interest.
Interceptor
(2022)
Diverse characters save America from white people
9 July 2022
They try to turn Elsa Pataky (a horrible actress) into some bad a$$ but it never works. She isn't physically intimidating (which makes her beating up men twice her size ludicrous) and her inane dialogue wasn't scaring anyone.
Worst of all, the plot involves diverse characters (led by a diverse woman who was subjected to sexual harassment by an old white guy) saving America from white people led by a spoiled rich white kid with a racist/sexist redneck sidekick.
It's a left wing wet dream and one of the worst movies I've ever seen. It's obvious this was made by a first time inexperienced writer/director but no obvious reason why they hired him.
I don't know if actor Chris Hemsworth (who is married to Pataky and produced this thing) made this for his wife hoping he'd get more action at home or what his reasoning was. But there's no way he did it because he thought it would be successful.
Don't waste your time.
Worst of all, the plot involves diverse characters (led by a diverse woman who was subjected to sexual harassment by an old white guy) saving America from white people led by a spoiled rich white kid with a racist/sexist redneck sidekick.
It's a left wing wet dream and one of the worst movies I've ever seen. It's obvious this was made by a first time inexperienced writer/director but no obvious reason why they hired him.
I don't know if actor Chris Hemsworth (who is married to Pataky and produced this thing) made this for his wife hoping he'd get more action at home or what his reasoning was. But there's no way he did it because he thought it would be successful.
Don't waste your time.
"I must point out the irony..."
21 June 2022
Warning: Spoilers
"I must point out the irony of you questioning my identity." Spock sure hit the nail on the head with that one, in so many ways. This would have been a good episode if not for the social stunt casting of an incredibly weak actor playing an incredibly weak character. Please don't bother bringing that character back.
Also, where is everyone? The Enterprise is raided and hundreds of crew members suddenly vanish? Empty halls everywhere, including security? So a nurse has to try and stop them? That was just ludicrous. The show has been great up until this point. Don't mess it up now.
Also, where is everyone? The Enterprise is raided and hundreds of crew members suddenly vanish? Empty halls everywhere, including security? So a nurse has to try and stop them? That was just ludicrous. The show has been great up until this point. Don't mess it up now.
Blades
(1989)
Total waste of time
3 June 2022
They were apparently going for a mash up of Jaws and Caddyshack but forgot to include anything worth watching. The humor is sophomoric (and not in a good way), the kills are few and far between and mostly happen off screen, and there isn't a single naked chick in sight. Even Jaws and Caddyshack had nudity.
They should have amped up the gore and thrown in several nude women like the Piranha remake did. For example: have the girl in the opening strip off her clothes and go skinny dipping in the golf course lake as an homage to the opening of Jaws. Then she gets killed by the mower in a bloody fashion when she steps of of the water. Instead, all we get are two fully dressed people kissing and then the camera cuts away when the mower attacks them.
Why would anyone watch this clunker? I wish I hadn't. You should avoid it too. Watch Jaws, Caddyshack, and Piranha instead.
They should have amped up the gore and thrown in several nude women like the Piranha remake did. For example: have the girl in the opening strip off her clothes and go skinny dipping in the golf course lake as an homage to the opening of Jaws. Then she gets killed by the mower in a bloody fashion when she steps of of the water. Instead, all we get are two fully dressed people kissing and then the camera cuts away when the mower attacks them.
Why would anyone watch this clunker? I wish I hadn't. You should avoid it too. Watch Jaws, Caddyshack, and Piranha instead.
Adam & Evil
(2004)
All those hot women and little nudity
7 May 2022
It's obvious the writer and director have no clue what the two key comments are for making a horror film: blood and boobs. This lazy, weak, generic slasher wannabe has very little of both. The kills happen off screen so there's no impact at all from any of them. There's also no suspense leading up to them. The characters are all lifeless, stupid, and forgettable, so you don't care if they die anyway.
As for nudity, one small-chested actress pops her top briefly in one sad scene, but the rest, all hot women, keep covered. They do wear bikinis for one scene, and the camera lingers on close ups of body parts. But for some reason that seems creepier and more gratuitous than if they had just gone skinny dipping and ran around naked.
The only claim to fame this clunker has is being the first role for the pre-boob job Erica Cerra (the sexy deputy from the TV series Eureka) but sadly she kept her clothes on too. Skip this worthless effort. Go watch slasher films from the 80s instead. They understood how to make horror - and what to show.
As for nudity, one small-chested actress pops her top briefly in one sad scene, but the rest, all hot women, keep covered. They do wear bikinis for one scene, and the camera lingers on close ups of body parts. But for some reason that seems creepier and more gratuitous than if they had just gone skinny dipping and ran around naked.
The only claim to fame this clunker has is being the first role for the pre-boob job Erica Cerra (the sexy deputy from the TV series Eureka) but sadly she kept her clothes on too. Skip this worthless effort. Go watch slasher films from the 80s instead. They understood how to make horror - and what to show.
The Dead Hate the Living!
(2000 Video)
No nudity, Parker? Bad, bad idea.
17 April 2022
Director Dave Parker made the incomprehensible decision to not include nudity in this because he said in an interview that he felt it would attract a "higher quality level of actresses," or some such nonsense. Bad idea, Davie. Bad, bad idea. If anything needed stark naked women running through it, it was this truly atrocious and amateurish clunker.
Maybe the actresses he cast were higher quality, but you can't tell in this. Probably because Parker has no clue how to work with actors, so he may as well have had them pop out their boobs. It wouldn't have hurt their careers any more than just being in this crap fest.
I saw on one promotional art that they used a one-word quote from legendary make up artist Tom Savini that simply says "unique..." I searched and couldn't find anything on the net where he commented on this movie, but I can only imagine his entire quote was something like, "It is incredibly unique when a film as absolutely awful as this comes along. Also, where are the naked chicks?"
Skip this thing and go see something with bare boobs. Even if the story and acting are bad, at least you have hot naked women to keep it you entertained. Something we desperately needed in this.
Maybe the actresses he cast were higher quality, but you can't tell in this. Probably because Parker has no clue how to work with actors, so he may as well have had them pop out their boobs. It wouldn't have hurt their careers any more than just being in this crap fest.
I saw on one promotional art that they used a one-word quote from legendary make up artist Tom Savini that simply says "unique..." I searched and couldn't find anything on the net where he commented on this movie, but I can only imagine his entire quote was something like, "It is incredibly unique when a film as absolutely awful as this comes along. Also, where are the naked chicks?"
Skip this thing and go see something with bare boobs. Even if the story and acting are bad, at least you have hot naked women to keep it you entertained. Something we desperately needed in this.
The Bubble
(2022)
OMG this is awful!
11 April 2022
It's bad. So bad. Excruciatingly bad. I somehow managed to clench my teeth and gut it out until the very end. Not sure why. Guess I hate myself. Perhaps I did something horrible in a past life and I subconsciously wanted to punish myself. Mission accomplished. OMG this is thing is just awful!
The Whirl Girls
(2020– )
Yawn!
7 April 2022
Three wannabe YouTubers doing mundane activities hoping you'll watch just because they're semi-attractive. I looked up their videos after stumbling across their IMDB page and seeing the image of the girls in skimpy bikinis. But sadly they aren't wearing those or similar outfits in their videos, or at least the three I saw.
Their personalities aren't going to make your videos worth watching, so I strongly suggest they strip to bikinis - or less - and start doing more interesting activities like hanging out at nude beaches, playing strip poker, or auditioning at strip clubs. Otherwise, no need to waste their- or our - time. Most women hanging out at malls are prettier and more interesting than they are.
Their personalities aren't going to make your videos worth watching, so I strongly suggest they strip to bikinis - or less - and start doing more interesting activities like hanging out at nude beaches, playing strip poker, or auditioning at strip clubs. Otherwise, no need to waste their- or our - time. Most women hanging out at malls are prettier and more interesting than they are.
Tell Your Friends