hanno-35000 Reviews

Avatar: The Way of Water (2022)

Interesting for use of terminology

[4/10 · 2 January 2024]

Clearly this is the teenage version of the first avatar film. A lot of action going on, extremely thin story line, if any, black and white character division so no unnecessary complexity that teenagers will not understand or appreciate, giant plotholes that teenagers will not notice whilst looking down on their smartphones between the action scenes, and so forth.

Beautifully shot, I must admit. As a lover of sea life I occasionally was enchanted.

What stays in my mind most is the user of terminology: evil colonel calls the Na'vi "insurgents" or "hostiles": that's exactly the terminology army officials used to indicate the Iraqi people resisting their country being blown to pieces by British and American bombs. I'll never stop liking James Cameron for making the analogy!

Rebel Moon - Part One: A Child of Fire (2023)

Have you no shame?

[1/10 · 22 December 2023]

Zack Snyder's films are gems, from a photographic point of view. So is this one. Some spectacular cinematography, there you have the one point.

The story is incoherent and totally uncompelling. The main hero collecting her 'magnificent seven' to fight an evil empire, through seven non connected stories. All the while the other heroes stand by and watch with deep meaningful looks in their eyes.... it is so bad it made me laugh.

I truly like Sofia Boutella, her mere presence is compelling, usually. Not in this one. Her dialogues were way below average, and her character one dimensional. Her talent wasted on this ridiculously bad film.

As others have already noted: it is up to the rim filled with plagiarism. Have you no shame?

A Quiet Place Part II (2020)

Requires strong suspension of disbelief

[5/10 · 10 November 2023]

It is hard to believe how the alien creatures, who cannot see, fly or swim managed to exterminate the greater part of mankind. While watching the film I could come up with at least 10 ways to destroy them: set up some loudspeakers in a valley and snipers in the surrounding hills. Get the good old A10 intruders out of the mothballs and shoot them all. The carnivorous invaders are full of hunger, but shy of brains. Is being extremely silent the only way to defend yourself against these dumb ass monsters? I don't think so.

That being said, it is an entertaining film, with millicent/ Regan stealing our hearts. The suspension wears off towards the end of the film. Hopefully mr. Krasinski comes up with a fresh perspective on human resilience in the third part.

Fair Play (2023)

Not a thriller

[7/10 · 8 October 2023]

Netflix promotes this film as a thriller. But it isn't. The expectation ruined my joy of watching the film. 15 minutes before its ending I realised no thrill element would be coming and I got disappointed.

The film itself is quite decent. It's about a passionate relationship slowly falling apart because of the man's incapacity to enjoy the success of his woman. It is about a woman being successful in a disgustingly male world, where money is everything and morality is nothing. It is about how a relationship is doomed for failure when it is not put first, above everything else.

Miss Dynevor's performance is excellent. The closing scene is nothing short of brilliant: "I'm done with you, get out if my successful life." Boom. No feelings, no sadness, no remorse. Completely taken over by the parasites and their zombie money.

Fall (I) (2022)

An absolute NO GO for acrophobics

[10/10 · 16 May 2023]

I've seen quite a few horrific films, but being an acrophobic, this was the first one I could not bear to watch. Within 15 minutes my stomach had turned at least three times and at minute nr 20 I wanted to throw myself off the couch, a terrifying 1,5 foot down to the floor. This is what acrophobics do when they are afraid: just throw yourself off the cliff/tower/bridge/ building, just to get it over with. That proves how excellent the film was shot. I don't care that the two climbers were really stupid: lacking the necessary equipment, not checking if the tower was safe in the first place, etc. I was so utterly and totally terrified, I had to hit the stop button after 21 minutes. The film hit my fear spot on. Excellent work!

Game of Thrones (2011–2019)

Disappointment is a compliment

[9/10 · 27 September 2022]

GoT got us all thrilled, hooked, puzzled, mesmerized and angry. An absolutely great series that dragged us deep into a fantasy world. I never imagined I would allow myself to get so deeply involved in an imaginary storyline. But it happened. I will never forget the anger and the agony I felt when Jon Snow got murdered at the end of season (4 or 5?) And I had to wait an excruciatingly long time to see what would happen to him. Was he really dead? (He was.) We all sympathised with our own characters, Jon, Daenerys, Tyrion, Sansa all had their own fanbase. Even Cersei, marvelously portrayed, could count on sympathy. For such a devoted an involved audience it is impossible to write an ending that would please them all.

The fact the many of us were so angry with the ending is the best compliment the showrunners could possibly get. No other series managed to get us so involved over such a long period of time. The characters were our family: of course we hoped for a different ending for each single one if them.

The ending being brilliant, by the way. Bran, the storyteller, became king. The story itself is king.

House of the Dragon (2022– )

I hope it's a joke

[1/10 · 27 September 2022]

House of the dragon has nothing that made GoT so appealing and attractive. There is just one single storyline, no shocking events, no drama, no characters to identify with, no mysteries, no battles, no violence, no sex, no mysticism, nothing at all. Nothing to like, nothing to be puzzled or intrigued by. I only watched through episode 6 out of a misplaced sense of loyalty towards GoT.

Acting is poor and flat, photography at times a disaster (half of episode 5 and 6 I couldn't even see what was going on) and direction is that of an amateur. If you have the opportunity to show the glory of Harrenhall before it was destroyed by dragon's fire, then please do! A two-second shot is not enough.

Nobody can take this seriously. Let's hope that the showrunners will come up with some sort of punchline in the end: "Haha, we fooled you into getting a subscription to HBO! Got you (!)." I could appreciate that.

Foundation (2021– )

Judge it at face value

[8/10 · 11 September 2022]

Not every viewer of this series read the books of Asimow it was based upon. I suspect only a small portion of the audience did. Asimow-adepts are hugely disappointed, I understand.

Personally I did not read the books, I watch the series with a fresh, clean and open mind. Having watched through episode 3, I enjoyed it thoroughly. A compelling storyline, stunning visuals and photography, more than decent acting performance. Lee Pace materialises a narcissist so well, he gives me the creeps even when he is not on screen.

The only thing that bothers me is the basic idea of the story. Can math predict the future? Numbers can perhaps predict the logical thing to happen, but by no means does that mean that it actually will happen.

All in all a very enjoyable show, with jaw-dropping visuals, except for asimow-puritans I guess.

Mandy (I) (2018)

Mandy: a bad trip

[1/10 · 27 June 2022]

Watched the film because of the good reviews. Wish I hadn't. Cosmatos' film is an ode to the late 70's/ early 80's psychedelic gore- films. Extremely slow paced, virtually no conversation, the odd animation and people having meaningful looks on their faces saying supposedly meaningful things. I guess this is what a bad trip must be like. Utterly depressing. I cannot mention even a single positive thing about it. Well I can: it's something different alright. Why on earth would anybody make a film like this? No hope, no salvation, no closure, only death, blood and emptiness, absolute and total emptiness. Well folks, hope that cheered you up...

The Marked Heart (2022– )

Interesting theme gone awry

[3/10 · 30 May 2022]

A man falls in love with a woman who now owns the heart of his late wife, who was murdered for her heart. Now if there's an interesting and relevant theme, here you have one. Unfortunately the Colombian filmmakers turn it into a hard to swallow soap opera. The script is unnecessarily protracted and unrealistic. The acting is soooooo bad, it felt like watching a high school drama. The president-to-be character never transcends the caricature level. The murdered woman plays the trumpet but never fills her cheeks with air. Come on, do some research.

I've learnt two things from this series: First: ALL Colombian women are good looking.

Second: colombians only have sex with their clothes on.

For short: a missed opportunity. Organ trafficking is a relevant issue. It would have deserved a professional approach. This one clearly isn't.

Pieces of Her (2022)

Excellent,

[8/10 · 21 March 2022]

Once you realize it is not a thriller. Slaughter's story is all about trust between parent and child, viewed from very different angles and venturepoints. The thrillerstory is just the backdrop of it all. Acting performances are decent, mrs. Colette is sublime. Gripping, especially when you're a parent yourself. Never lie to your child. It'll destroy both of you.

Brazen (2022)

Poor acting

[2/10 · 21 February 2022]

This is one of the few films I could not watch through, due to the poor acting performances of most characters. I gave up when the sisters Grace and Kathleen shared a bed, both actresses overtly being uncomfortable with the scene.

Until that moment mrs. Milano not one single moment convinces me that she is a writer of crime novels, instead of Alyssa Milano playing a writer of crime novels.

The Outpost (2019)

Why, Orlando?

[1/10 · 1 February 2021]

Orlando Bloom is building a history of poor acting choices. Signing up to this film is probably the most unfortunate choice of them all. From a director's point of view the film is a catastrophe. There it hardly any storyline, no character development, just disarray and chaos at the heart of the action, embraced by an hour of the usual army-flick: tough boys doing tough stuff saying tough things. The Afghans are depicted as underdeveloped if not brainless savages, who lack even the most basic military tactics, like taking cover when you're being shot at. How far from reality is that? Not once does even a single character suggest that the Afghans are just trying to recover the country the Americans took from them? Oh, and than there is a philosophical angle: "the bible is full of Christians committing atrocities against other people...." correct, the Old Testament is. But that was BEFORE the birth of Christ. So where are the Christians committing these crimes? For crying out loud Orlando, get yourself a decent agent.

Outside the Wire (2021)

Nonsensical shooter

[1/10 · 17 January 2021]

About 50 % of all shots are filled with gunfire. A story line that makes absolutely no sense. Kiev is suddenly in the Balkan, although the distance equals the distance between Miami and Seattle. Perhaps enjoyable for game addicts, a waste of time for everybody else.

American Sniper (2014)

Not suitable for non-American audience

[1/10 · 13 November 2020]

This film is a straightforward glorification of an American soldier, who did not feel even the remotest compunction in taking the lives of approximately 160 men, women and children. In a war that, for non Americans, is overtly illegal and immoral, to me the character of the sniper is no less than repulsive. To Bradley Cooper, who produced this piece of propaganda and to Clint Eastwood, who directed it, Chris Kyle is a hero. Kyle defends the "heroic" marines, who roll their destructive war machine over a third world country. When even a child picks up an arm to stop the marines from destroying everything that is dear to him, Kyle kills the boy, without literally blinking an eye. It is disgusting.

Iraqis are depicted as "savages" (sic) instead of what they are: a hopeless people, desperately trying to defend their country, with the limited means they have, against a brutal foreign invader. The film was shot in 2014, 11 years after the invasion and it saddens me to see that even after a decade not even slightest nuance or "two-sidedness" can be detected. The closing shot of Kyle's funeral, with the miles of star-striped salutes to the serial killer, made me want to throw up. It convinced me that Americans need a planet of their own. Unfortunately, that is what they believe too.

Barbarians (2020–2022)

Refreshing change of vantage point

[7/10 · 26 October 2020]

Finally a film that deals with a part of history not intending to illustrate the glory and power of Rome. Finally a series that shows how Rome was for the people it subdued: brutal, cruel, ruthless and with utter disdain. The show has sufficient flaws... 7 episodes lead up to an epic battle in a dark forest where thousands of Roman legionnaires were slaughtered. In reality the battle lasted several days, in the show just a few hours. It felt like the show's budget was depleted. Furthermore, it would have been worth showing the effect the Varus- battle had on Roman ambitions in Europe. For the first time in history the Roman war machine was put to a halt. I disagree with the critique many reviewers have on the female leading part. Surely a woman like Thusnelda will not have existed exactly as depicted, but yet the character beautifully illustrates the difference between the positions women held in Roman and non-roman civilisations.

Warrior Nun (2020–2022)

No sympathy

[2/10 · 31 July 2020]

One of the basic laws of storytelling or film making is that the reader or viewer sympathises with the main character. The main character in this series, Ava, is very difficult to like. I guess the Order of the Cruciform Sword was not all too happy to see their most sacred object implanted in a superficial, selfcentered American no-brainer. Personally I would have felt little compunction in tearing the thing out of her back straight away. Mysteriously she somehow comes to the einsteinian insight that there's more to life than party, pre-party and after-party. Unfortunately the script writers do not let us join the process that got her there. Two stars for the acting achievement of Thekla Reuten, the only multi layered character in the series.

The Nun (2018)

So stupid it's cult

[1/10 · 25 July 2020]

Nothing is wright about this film. A superficial fact checking could have prevented a lot of stupidity. A Roman- catholic monastery in Romania? Romania is 100 % orthodox and the Vatican has no jurisdiction there. Seeing the monument of Vittorio Emmanuele in Rome from the windows in the Vatican? That's in an entirely different district! "Hic finit Deo". I don't know what language that is, bit it's certainly not Latin. The lack of even rudimentary fact checking makes it seem intentional, deliberate. Is it intentional cult horror? I hope so.

The Old Guard (2020)

Waste of time

[1/10 · 13 July 2020]

I will never understand why Charlize Theron agreed to act in this film. It is one of the worst films I've seen in decades. It is all about shooting, fighting and killing, dressed in a flimsy storyline about immortality. The makers couldn't even be bothered to give that story any sense. Don't waste your time like I did.

The Forest (2017)

Missed opportunity

[5/10 · 1 May 2020]

A potentially Great storyline: a horrendous crime, secrets from the past, a close-knit community with hidden desires, Some mystical elementS from the vast forests of the french Ardennes Would have deserved a better production. Flat camerawork, flat acting and flat music Do not meet up to the story's potential. It took six episodes to solve the crime, while for a seasoned crimestory-fan it is obvious from day one who did it. The mysterie of The protagonist's provenance, that keeps us watching the series, is solved in under five minutes, simply by telling it. Such a pity.