wolfybiscuts Reviews

Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi (2017)

Worse than I thought it would be, horrible script. That fantastic trailer tricked me!

[3/10 · 14 December 2017]

The film makers did the right thing by releasing a smart trailer that did not give hardly any of the story away, however I was left unsatisfied and there were some plot twists that completely destroy the rest of the potential star wars cinematic universe. Most of the movie is a missed opportunity.

I will get straight to the point and cover the things I liked and the things that I disliked.

Liked 1. Mark Hamill, he is and will always be fantastic as Luke Skywaker his performance was great. 2. Snoke was an interesting character and formidable bad guy, he would and should have kicked serious ass in the next star wars movie!!! 3. The battle at the end. 4. Chewie.

Disliked 1. Too much comedy perhaps. The new order was a joke and it seemed like they tried too hard to make every scene a funny one with all First Order characters acting like complete morons, and the rebels stunning each other like juveniles being given a tazer. 2. Politically hidden messages in the movie. - Anti Capitalist tone for the people / creatures in the casino. Was that alien picking up coins a reference to Trump? And the horses smashing through the casino knocking over rich people (who by the way sell weapons in the galaxy) really? It's that unobvious? I could see it a mile away. 3. Snoke taken out so easily.....I mean c'mon Kylo Ren will now be a raving lunatic for the last episode and does not have any dimension to his character besides yelling like a nut case. 4. The middle of the movie dragged on and was so boring. A ship following another ship for the whole movie does not add anything new to the star wars lore. 5. No lighsaber duels??? even at the end wtf? instead they just fight ninjas. 6. Leia blasting Poe and the other commander (Dern) repeatedly calling him a flyboy??? what is that???? that's not star wars, that's a bad attempt at hipster comedy which failed. Looks like DERN thought she was in top gun 2. 7. Leia is blasted into the vacuum of space and is still alive. Then uses force pull to save herself. That's just so stupid! 8. Luke skywaker....force projecting himself, then fainting to death???? Um what??? 9. Captain Phasma is just cannon fodder and a huge waste. 10. The sub plot where they are looking for that lock smith guy is horrible and cheesy, he ends up being a boring character that is again thrown away and wasted. 11. A Rebel Capital ship has 18 hours of shield power and can sustain constant cannon fire, but a dreadnought star destroyer has NO shields and can be successfully attacked by one X-Wing and a handful of bombers? 12. Poe's failed mutiny was an absolute joke. How did he get the other squad leaders to point their guns at the officers? and with no consequence to them? 13. Rey's parents to be hyped only to turn out to be quote - "filthy merchants" WHAT? 14. OH Look! A convenient abandoned planet, that happens to have a well stocked, hidden rebel base in it right there when they need it. LOL, gosh a 3 year old kid could think of a better story with a better plot.

There are touching moments when Luke reunites with Chewie, Leia and R2D2. But nothing touching throughout the whole film with any of the new characters. There is just no emotion there worth mentioning, except Kylos crazy behaviour and outbursts.

Many questions are unanswered, like what was Snokes back story? Why is Yoda happy to burn the jedi tree? Where are the knights of ren? Who will train Rey if Luke is dead / gone? Where can they go to conclude the saga in a satisfying way from this point? The whole thing is a huge mess. Force Awakens was so much better and that says a lot.

The movie ran over 150mins and was an unsatisfactory bore-fest. It's like they want to destroy everything in all past start wars films and turn the franchise into a space comedy. Anything serious about the franchise they have sought to destroy. Sorry that was already done a million times better in Spaceballs. Sorry I really wanted this to be great but it failed on so many levels. The plot of the movie is summed up as, Rey wanting Luke to train her and the First Order following a rebel ship. This movie is best described as a mess akin to the mind of Kylo Ren.

3 out of 10.

Transformers: The Last Knight (2017)

As a huge Transformers fan I was hugely disappointed.

[4/10 · 23 June 2017]

OK I make it a tradition to see all transformers movie on the first day as I am a huge fan. I have generally liked all the transformers movies so far. That is until Transformers the Last Knight has come along. I genuinely hated more things in this movie than I liked in this movie. Lets start by saying the movie was 90 percent about human characters and 10 percent about transformers. With all the available Transformers lore, it was disappointing to see it wasted with slow mo shots after slow mo shots of action that we have all seen before and a rehash of bringing cybertron to earth yet again. The Last Knight also may as well be called the Romance of Cade Yager and a hot English chick, seriously the plot focused more on that than any sort of coherent plot about the Quntessons, Decepticons or Cybertron. It was just very boring. There is no subplots involving any of the transformers at all which removes any characterisation they may have. Fans asked for Grimlock to be in this movie more since Age of Extinction, well he is completely ignored and is only in 2 parts that you already have seen in trailers and clips. He does not even transform. BOOOOO Megatron is also back and recruits a whole new bunch of decepticons, however they are literally terminated in a very fast battle with autobots in a small town. So much for any characterisation that made the cartoon so interesting. It was just such a big disappointment. The only part I liked was the robot butler and his relationship with Anthony Hopkins character, which had some potential , but was wrecked partly with some uneven pacing. The Action also got boring as there are no memorable fights between transformers they end way too quick. IE Prime vs the Predacon combiners and, Bumblee bee vs barricade Same shaky camera as always etc etc. Although I will say that Hot Rods slow motion cannon was pretty cool. I really think it's time for Michael Bay to leave this franchise and give it to someone else.

Alien: Covenant (2017)

My expectations were dashed. It had the ingredients but the chef burnt the main course.

[6/10 · 11 May 2017]

SPOILERS! OK, Let me start off by saying that I am a massive aliens fan with Aliens and Alien being two of my all time fave movies. I thought Covenant was going to return the franchise to form with all these extra fancy trailers and clips I viewed online. I was wrong, while the movie contains great visuals and has characters with potential, it fell flat due to how dumb most characters were in the story, thus making the story less believable.

The movie begins very slowly and they missed all opportunity to build on characters personalities, instead they focus a large amount of screen time repairing the ship before the film really takes off. The last supper scene isn't even in the film! These explorers/colonists acted more like stupid teenagers in a slasher film. I found myself groaning with disbelief every single time someone acted in a way totally contradictory to their position on the crew. No joke, stupid decisions just keep happening one after the other. Here's some that I noted.

1. ROSENTHAL leaves the group by herself to wash her hands on a strange new planet and takes off her gun! placing it just out of reach after she is injured by an alien in the field. STUPID! 2. ANKOR places his face so close to some spores and inhales them? STUPID! 3. The whole landing crew walks off the ship with no protective gear and into swampy black water. STUPID (at least Prometheus made an effort to explain it when they took off their breathing masks.) 4. ORAM splits from the group and walks into a dark room full of eggs, because David just said so. Then looks in an egg when clearly he has already battled the Necromorphs in the film. He did not once ask David about any drawings of aliens in the room. STUPID! 5. FARIS - who is supposed to be a medic, freaks out at the sight of blood then lock KARINE in the medbay to die, however she comes back into the room and falls over the same blood she saw fall on the floor. If she was going to go back into the room wouldn't it have been better to use KARINE to fight the alien 2 vs 1. The excuse of Quarantine fell out the window when she went back in the same room! STUPID! 6. Not one character questions David over the thousands of engineer corpses in the coliseum? STUPID! 7. At least 3 characters go off by themselves throughout the film when clearly the group could have split into small groups and remain together! STUPID! 8. There are 2 necromorphs, 2 Xenomorphs, several eggs and 2 embryos in the film. There is no explanation why birthing Aliens grow so fast or chest burst so fast compared to what happens over several days in all other alien movies. STUPID! 9. When the alien bursts from one of the crew in the wheat field, Not ONE SINGLE CHARACTER WITH A GUN ATTEMPTS TO SHOOT IT when it is still vulnerable on the ground. STUPID! 10. DANIELS and TENESSEE, who are armed with machine guns can't kill one normal alien in a narrow corridor, when in (Aliens) 5 marines can kill a horde of aliens in a large dark room when they attack from the roof and floor???? STUPID The film also may suggest it has a certain agenda or tone - (the flute scene) and why does David keep trying to kiss everyone? While it may seem that I am nit-picking about many parts of the film, I do praise it for solid acting from most of the cast especially FASBENDER and have to say the cgi effects of the film are fantastic along with some of the death scenes.

The biggest sin by FOX and RIDLEY SCOTT is not allowing BLOMKAMP to make a sequel to Aliens. I would love to see Sigourney Weaver and Michael Bein continue the story of the colonial marines and Weyland Yutani.

So much potential but executed poorly.

The Third Jihad (2008 Video)

Really everyone should watch this

[9/10 · 6 September 2014]

After watching this and seeing the proof of what is going on in the world today with ISIS and other terror organizations. I have to say that the only people who criticize this documentary could only be seen as a sympathizer for terrorists.

The facts are there and the facts are happening now.

The documentary is well made and is one of the better ones I have seen with credibility, backing up everything with facts and video clips. There is no speculation here folks. There is parts covering Islam, the goal of the jihads and the plan to invade the world from within or to out - breed every other race. Its all very interesting.

If you are Muslim don't get offended this is not an attack on a religion. I have Muslim friends and know that not all Muslims are inclined to behave in a way that would be a cause for concern for everyone else.

I believe this was one of the best made documentaries I have ever seen.

Thankyou for educating me.

Transformers: Age of Extinction (2014)

Good movie, with some flaws

[9/10 · 25 June 2014]

OK, this movie will get panned by critics no matter what. Many of the modern generation of film goers simply do not understand that this movie is based on a toy / kids TV show. Most critics are hoping for deep meaningful story lines which this movie does not really have.

If you have seen the other transformers movies, then you can expect similar, with outstanding special effects, explosions and big battles. The only gripe I have with this new trilogy as a transformers fan is that it makes the same mistake as the others and lacks character consistency in regards to the actual robots.

Lockdown does a good job at being the main bad guy - so does galvatron in some respect, but thats it. The story focuses on the Autobots way too much and as always the handful of good guys will fight a nameless army of bad guys. Even the human villains did a better job.

The dinobots being a big draw-card for many fans in this movie, are left speechless in the whole movie. Grimlock does not even talk! In the cartoon Grimlock has character and squares off against optimus prime. This was shown in the movie, but missed a golden opportunity to show the audience the rivalry they had in the transformers universe. All the dinobots looked fantastic, but had no character. If Grimlock and the other Dinos had more of an interaction with the other cast this could have been the best Transformers movie to date.

Mark Walberg is pretty good as the over protective father and seems to be a better lead than Shia Lebouf ever was. The other cast do a fine job, but the movie ends too abruptly and there is no chance for the audience to take in just what the plot is by the ending. Although the movie is now open to go in a more interesting path following the transformers adventures in other places other than only on earth. The first half was good and then the movie turns into shaky cam shot after shaken cam shot once the story moves to China.

In all I enjoyed the movie, but I cant help but think that it missed a chance to be so much better. Bring on the Quintessons, Hotrod and Unicron for the next one please. Oh and bring back star scream!

Michael Bay, my advice for the next movie, is please focous on the decepticons more and stop using too much shaky cam. Focus on each robots unique abilities like in the cartoon and have each one involved in their own story lines within the bigger plot.

Resident Evil: Retribution (2012)

Good action but not much characterization.

[6/10 · 20 September 2012]

I've been a fan of the video game since 1996 and I was slightly disappointed that the movie series deviates from the games. The game doesn't even have Alice in it. What really got me about this film is that it seems the producers have a checklist and must think ....well who in the game hasn't appeared in the movie yet? Now let's just cut and paste them in there...anywhere with no back story relating to the game or movie worlds.

It seems the movie had about 3 pages worth of dialog. And would have been a lot better with character interaction and disputes of some sort. But most of it is purely face off type one liners.

The plot revolves around Alice who is trying to escape the umbrella facility. The world is overcome by a virus and some people have a shoot out in a computer program or simulator.

Not much is mentioned about the virus and viewers are expected to know what fans of the game vaguely know. The action though is top notch and they nailed the cast, Ada and Leon are perfect and Jill isn't bad either. Barry was OK.

I enjoyed the action but the movie could have been so much better.

6 out of 10

Dragon Eyes (2012)

What is this??????

[2/10 · 16 June 2012]

This movie is bad. The plot revolves around drug dealers controlled by a corrupt police officer. They have a Latino gang, a black gang , and a Russian gang. These gangs are filled with stereotypical types who don't seem menacing at all. Most of them are rather funny and try too hard to be gangsters wearing tracksuits.

The whole movie feels cheap and shot by amateurs. While it stars veteran actors like Van Damme and Weller (who by the way are 2 of my favourite action stars) The whole thing has a very poor story. Half the time the story makes no sense.

There's this one scene where our hero Mr Hong (Cung Lee) is with a love interest in this apartment exchanging some lovely words between them. Suddenly a bad guy walks in and stars shooting up the place with a pistol with a silencer on it??? However he announces his presence and they have a fight. The bad guy is thrown all over the place after getting a couple of hits in, but is defeated. Then the movie cuts to Mr Hong then standing with this guy giving orders to the bad guys gang? WHAT???? Did this guy just give him control over his gang because he bashed him in this apartment? Not only that, Mr HONG is suddenly in a league with Mr V (Weller) and is now running guns and drugs with no explanation.

For the rest of the movie the gangs trash talk to each other and it is assumed but not shown that Mr Hong sets the gangs up against each other, by leaving notes in their safes (written in Chinese)????

Van Damme plays a prisoner who teaches Mr HONG how to do better kicks in flashbacks while they were both in jail simply because he reminds him of his dead son, who he accidentally shot when he was a thug by the way, hence his time in jail (are we confused yet?) the only decent thing from this film comes from some fights which seem good but ruined by the flashes and overuse of slow mo shots. But the whole movie seems like it was shot in one building and one street.

Cung Lee is a MMA fighter in real life, he just cannot act, I'm sorry but it's true. I've seen him in action in the ring and while he does have some great skills which he shows off in this movie, he let himself down by being out of shape, the love handles are not disguised by having him shot standing in the shadows folks. Either get back in shape or don't take your shirt off.

Peter WELLER does a great job as the main bad guy. His random acting actually prevented me from falling asleep. The former Robocop star did well, but I can't believe he associated his name with this film. Maybe he did it as a favour, who knows. Even for a budget DVD film, this is pretty bad. Watch this if you want to fall asleep or laugh at the poor script.

Poor.

Battleship (2012)

Great effects typical alien invasion glory-boy navy film.

[7/10 · 20 April 2012]

Let me start off by saying, I never served in the navy and have no idea how weapon systems or ballistics on modern warships work so I can't tell if the movie is aiming for realism or just eye candy special effects.

This movie does have great special effects and the battle scenes were exciting to watch, especially towards the end.

The movie takes the typical invasion film and puts a twist on it that left me scratching my head. I really couldn't tell if the aliens were hostile or friendly since the film shows them sparing civilians on one hand and on the other hand they blow up a highway full of traffic so no one can access towers on a mountain. They also murder some local country cops. Then again they spare a nerd scientist collecting his suitcase at their makeshift base. Huh??? There is a subplot that involves a amputee ex-soldier and the heroes girlfriend that is chucked in there. it's your typical Hollywood flare, with some lame comedy thrown in that stop this movie from becoming a possible classic. I mean really punch an aliens teeth out in SLO - MO? silly at best. This movie is somewhat similar to Battle LA as the aliens start the fight on water, but BATTLE LA is a lot better in my opinion.

The homage they paid to the battleship missourri was a nice twist and the old vets was nice. Not a movie to take too seriously even if you are an action special effect junkie. Leave your brain at the door and you will enjoy the movie like I did.

Oh yeah Rhianna was not bad in her first movie role. The tough military chick role doesn't require an Oscar winning performance. She did quite well.

The Hunger Games (2012)

A teenage version of the Running Man perhaps?

[3/10 · 25 March 2012]

OK so let me start off by saying that, This movie was hyped beyond belief. It has been touted as the next twilight killer. Whilst I didn't really like Twighlight (because of the main girls wooden acting)it at least had interesting characters and focused on a war between vampires and wolves.

The Hunger Games starts off well enough and did present some cool characters (WOODY and BANKS) set in a depressing future world. However as I watched I soon realised that this movie was utter crap. The premise of a game show setting did not fit in with the depressing world on the outside. This is like a teenage friendly version of Arnold Shwarzeneggers Running Man! (Now that was an awesome movie!) The action was poor and the camera shook way too much. Seriously it was that bad. I almost fell asleep. The special effects are quite bad (those hounds at the end??? like 1990's FX) There was almost no suspense and the ending was anti-climatic at best. No twist or surprise at all. How lame!. If this is based on a book, I certainly would never waste my time reading it. YAWNFEST at best.