First, this movie is well acted and directed. Second, it has a premise that is obvious in the first 10 minutes. After that, you're just watching a woman being confined, tormented, cut, humiliated, and finally burned alive. Did I mention the premise is paper thin and completely obvious? Also, the matricide happens only became the tall, strong, desperate mom refuses to overpower her 9 year old when it becomes her only choice. Instead, she tries to run for it (despite living way out in the country) and is foiled because her suddenly genius son strung up piano wire at ankle height. So, ultimately, the movie is fueled by the woman's stupidity. Go figure.
Reviews
8 Reviews
No One Will Save You
(2023)
Exactly like real life abduction stories
24 September 2023
Warning: Spoilers
By that I mean, initially intriguing, then completely senseless. I liked the alien effects, which were quite effective. But as other reviewers noted, the ludicrous inefficiency of these greatly advanced beings in catching one 98-pound girl (who in fairness is portrayed as a natural-born killer) is hard to take.
As for what the ending means, here it is. In the last few minutes, we see another closeup of the alien bezoar going into Brynne's mouth. So she, like everyone else, has become a "pod person." From her soft chuckling after her on-ship catharsis, it is hinted that she maintains awareness of her life before. So when she joins the townies in a goofy movie-musical street fair, the suggestion is, she embraces being surrounded by co-opted beings. After ten years of loneliness, being embraced by alien puppets suits her just fine.
As for what the ending means, here it is. In the last few minutes, we see another closeup of the alien bezoar going into Brynne's mouth. So she, like everyone else, has become a "pod person." From her soft chuckling after her on-ship catharsis, it is hinted that she maintains awareness of her life before. So when she joins the townies in a goofy movie-musical street fair, the suggestion is, she embraces being surrounded by co-opted beings. After ten years of loneliness, being embraced by alien puppets suits her just fine.
Van Helsing
(2004)
One of the Greatest So Bad It's Good Movies Ever Made
19 September 2022
Warning: Spoilers
Ridiculous. Anachronistic. Burdened with a terrible script and many clever images, it's unintentionally hilarious on every level. NOT TO BE MISSED.
Because my review is short, I shall include some sample dialogue:
Kate Beckinsale: Why do you do what you do?
WolverHelsing: I don't know. Self-realization, maybe.
Still too short. So here's a spoiler to convince you to watch. Van Helsing is eventually turned into WereWolferine. Alas, the film withholds the obvious revelation that Van Helsing is actually the angel Gabriel, doomed to hunt monsters on Earth without his memory for somehow irritating the Lord. Did they try and save it for a sequel? I suppose we'll never know.
Because my review is short, I shall include some sample dialogue:
Kate Beckinsale: Why do you do what you do?
WolverHelsing: I don't know. Self-realization, maybe.
Still too short. So here's a spoiler to convince you to watch. Van Helsing is eventually turned into WereWolferine. Alas, the film withholds the obvious revelation that Van Helsing is actually the angel Gabriel, doomed to hunt monsters on Earth without his memory for somehow irritating the Lord. Did they try and save it for a sequel? I suppose we'll never know.
Counterpoint to the Poor Reviews
26 December 2021
I very much enjoyed this episode. It was twisty, made perfect sense by the end-but only the end-and features a standout performance by Dinsdale Landon as the private investigator who cracks the case. Great fun, seems supernatural, isn't, and there's lots of fun dialogue from the investigator.
The Curse of Frankenstein
(1957)
A Fun One
7 November 2021
Warning: Spoilers
This is just the thing for fans of old school horror. It opens on a young boy, perhaps 13, interviewing a 30-something man to be his tutor. Flash forward, and the young boy is Peter Cushing, magnificent and looking every minute of 50 (though I reckon he was actually about 44), while the 30-something tutor is...essentially unchanged.
Not surprisingly, Victor/Peter is determined to create life from "nothing," by which he means, crow-pecked, gibbeted corpses. He sets one to marinating in a fish tank while his betrothed, Elizabeth, shows up to seal the deal. She believes Victor's dearest wish is to marry her, while we find him upstairs romancing the French maid. (Yes, she's wearing the outfit.)
When the monster comes to life, it's none other than the great Christopher Lee, looking genuinely spooky. Watch this one and enjoy the magic of Cushing and Lee, those great old Hammer sets, and the fun of an old school creepfest.
Not surprisingly, Victor/Peter is determined to create life from "nothing," by which he means, crow-pecked, gibbeted corpses. He sets one to marinating in a fish tank while his betrothed, Elizabeth, shows up to seal the deal. She believes Victor's dearest wish is to marry her, while we find him upstairs romancing the French maid. (Yes, she's wearing the outfit.)
When the monster comes to life, it's none other than the great Christopher Lee, looking genuinely spooky. Watch this one and enjoy the magic of Cushing and Lee, those great old Hammer sets, and the fun of an old school creepfest.
The Bat
(1959)
Couldn't Get Through It
4 November 2021
I adore Vincent Price, but this movie was so dull and stuffed with unnecessary, repetitive dialogue, I had to give it up. The scenes with the women being scared over and over again in their home were excruciating. I was interested in learning more about Price's character, but couldn't hang on to get back to him.
Better Than You Might Expect
31 October 2021
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