tachyon_1 Reviews

Commando (1985)

Classic Arnold.

[7/10 · 5 January 2007]

This is classic Arnold. Not teaching Kindergarten, not having a baby, but just pure non-stop butt kicking action.

I always enjoy watching this movie. Not because it's great cinema or anything. I know it's no Citizen Kane of course, but it's a blast to watch.

Arnold's character, Matrix, is great. He just keeps on going, unstoppable. Like the bastard child of the Terminator and the Energizer bunny. He doesn't pause, he doesn't negotiate, or discuss or beg. He just takes immediate action in every situation, without question or without fear. This is what makes the movie worth watching. That and the famous one-liners of course.

It's also nice to see Alyssa Milano back when she was still an innocent little girl instead of like she is now.

If you are an action fan and you haven't seen this movie, then I spit on you. Go rent it now and get out of my sight until you've seen it and you are worthy. ;')

The Descent (2005)

Like a Sci-Fi channel movie, but done right.

[7/10 · 30 December 2006]

Sorry to those not in North America for the SciFi reference, but it's appropriate. The SciFi channel is known for these low budget movies that are based on a good concept and plot outline but end up being poorly executed. Right movie, wrong budget, actors, director etc.

In the case of "The Descent", the basic plot, a group of women x-gamer types go spelunking and get more than they bargain for, is solid. Add to that competent, though not excellent acting, decent directing, and very good cinematography. What you end up with is an entertaining, suspenseful couple of hours. It even manages not to be overly predictable.

For what it is, this is a pretty solid effort.

Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986)

One of my all time favourite movies.

[9/10 · 19 July 2006]

When this movie came out, I was just finishing high school myself. It was every high school guy's fantasy. Grown men want to be like James Bond, high school guys want to be like Ferris Bueller. He's cool, smart, and in control in every situation. One of the best movie characters ever created.

The movie itself was brilliant. There's not a real strong plot, but like Seinfeld, the story is about the characters, their interaction, and the circumstances they find themselves in.

This movie really did a great job of bringing together a lot of cool stuff. Maybe not all firsts, but the first time all these things were integrated and accomplished so well. For example, including the audience. Talking to the camera, documentary like sidebars with overlay texts, etc.

The directing and cinematography were also excellent and the soundtrack was brilliantly matched to the content. For example the shot of the Ferrari jumping over the railroad tracks in slow-motion to the StarWars theme was brilliant. Also this is first movie I remember to make use of the cool sounds of the band "Yello" in it's sound-track. After FB made such brilliant use of Yello, many movies and TV shows started using them. Especially the cool track "oh yeah" (You know, shhhe-bow bow, cha chigga) See http://www.yello.ch/ to hear what I mean.

There's just so many brilliant scenes in this movie, it's as near a 10 as I could vote. If IMDb allowed decimal voting, which I think they should, I'd give it a 9.8.

Matthew Broderick is one of the great unsung actors of our time. He's amazing. I just saw him in "The Producers" and am reminded again how good he is. He's a throwback from the days of _real_ entertainers. When they could not only act, but they could do everything. Act, sing, dance, etc.

Alan Ruck also put in a memorable performance as Cameron. I loved the "he'll keep calling me" and "Sloan's dad" scenes especially.

Jennifer Grey also was great as "Shauna" and her scenes with Charlie Sheen in his cameo were a nice contrast to her angry sister performance.

I love the quirky parents performances by Cindy Pickett and Lyman Ward. I really love when Tom Bueller is listening to the parade, and when he's behind the old lady in the car.

Well, anyway, if you haven't seen this, you don't deserve access to IMDb as you are a movie infidel. This is a must see classic.

One of the most entertaining movies ever made, especially if you ever went to high-school.

Equilibrium (2002)

One of the best movies I had never heard of.

[8/10 · 19 July 2006]

Why didn't I know a thing about this movie before it came on cable last night?

OK, first let's get this out of the way. Yes it's 60% "Fahrenheit 451" 25% "Imposter" and 15% "The Matrix". Not a completely original story, sure, but that didn't make it even 1% less entertaining. Something about this movie kept me engrossed from start to finish. The basic plot wasn't original, but the details were new. And there were just enough twists and turns to keep it from being predictable but not get silly. Christian Bale was excellent and could easily have played Neo in the Matrix trilogy. The son was very well played by Matthew Harbour and the character was very eerie. Angus Macfadyen and Emily Watson did some nice work too. The fight work and choreography were well done and the cinematography was quite decent given the apparent budget. Like the shot of Mary in the turbine room, looking out at John. And the fight scene angles. Also the use of light and dark to set the tone of scenes was well done. Finally the wardrobe was pretty cool, if not overly original.

If you haven't seen this movie, give it a look.

It's Your Move (1984–1985)

Too good for its time.

[9/10 · 29 June 2006]

This was a great show. Yet it never seemed to get the viewers or popularity it deserved. It seems like a lot of copies came out later that got all the glory, yet were lesser shows. Bateman of course _was_ the show. His character was smarter and cooler than the posers. Like a lot of shows, it died an early death it did not deserve. At the time the show was on I never missed an episode. I really do not understand how Growing Pains became so huge while this masterpiece slipped into oblivion. Mind you Growing Pains was good, but not at this level. Stupid TV execs.

Oh well.

Any news of it on DVD?

Abominable (2006)

A great way to spend an evening...

[6/10 · 20 May 2006]

I have a category of movie I call a "Good, bad movie". You'll either get that statement or you won't. If you are a real movie buff, you'll appreciate the value of a good, bad movie. This is a really cool twist on the Big Foot mythology. I saw this on the Sci-Fi channel and I expected some of their usual crapola. However, I was pleasantly surprised. Certainly this isn't a masterpiece or anything. But for the obviously small budget, it was very well done. The FX were cheesy, but adequate. The script was average. But the basic plot and the cinematography set a mood that really sucks you in. It's gripping, suspenseful, and doesn't drag or bore you. Matt McCoy (Preston Rogers) was quite good, exceeding his B list status. And Haley Joel (Amanda) didn't settle for being the dumb bimbo that this part was probably written to be. She actually had a touch of depth to the character.

If you want to huddle under a blanket with your significant other and have an entertaining, suspenseful evening, I recommend Abominable.

Also, make sure you don't miss the final scene. No spoiler here, but I have to say that the final shot of the movie was B movie brilliance.

Tachyon

Uncle Buck (1989)

Classic 80's comedy. Great.

[8/10 · 17 February 2006]

I really wonder what's going on in people's heads. I mean come on. This movie has a 6.3/10 vote average! And then there's some total crap out there that has higher scores. gahhh. Anyway, this is a great movie. It's so entertaining. Candy is brilliant. And Caulkin is really excellent as well, prince of the kid actors. It's not only funny, but it's also cute in a good way (not the sappy I wanna throw up way), and has a nice, side story. People really need to learn to appreciate these great 80's comedies.

If you really want to have a great lazy Saturday afternoon watching movies, be sure and rent this one.

And remember kids, the blue water's not good for the dog.

King Kong (2005)

Absolutely brilliant. About time someone made a really great film.

[8/10 · 24 December 2005]

Note that I would like to give this movie an 8.5, but well, you know....

This version of King Kong was so well done I could hardly believe it. It really stayed true to the original story and idea but added it's own touches.

The casting and acting were all exceptional. Everyone did a great job fleshing out their character. Naomi Watts in particular was excellent.

The screen writing was also very well done. They took the original story and expanded it, cleaned it up, made it richer and more exotic. Skull Island and the natives were really enhanced and made richer and more interesting. The jungle scenes and fights were amazing. The jungle fight choreography was brilliant and interesting.

This brings us to the CGI/FX. WOW! This was without a doubt the best FX I've seen, especially in the animal genre. Kong was a real character, not an effect.

I really don't have any negative points to make. The movie was really well done in every way. I'm sure there are those who will complain about the length and the slow start well they laid out the setting and did character development and background, but personally I found it nice that a film maker took the time to do it right and not rush us through the story.

I highly recommend this film, not only to fans of the genre, but to anyone who is a fan of well crafted cinema.

The Real Tachyon

The Island (2005)

Whole is less than the sum of it's parts

[6/10 · 23 December 2005]

This film had a lot going for it on paper. It has a good cast, cool futuristic scenery, good FX, and even some cool ideas for the future (carbon nanotube cables for suspended trains, that's cool. hadn't thought of that). The movie even had a great concept. They could really have done something with this list of ingredients. Sadly they didn't really make the best use of resources. The movie was good, but not great. Just above average, which is why I rated it a 6 (though I'd probably give it a 6.5 if IMDb supported half points, which it should IMO). But I rate tough too. I've never given a 10 and probably won't. After all, 10 is perfect.

This movie reminds me of the sad trend towards mediocrity in Hollywood in the last 10-15 years. A good example of this are the Phillip K. Dick novels that have been done. Bladerunner was well done (yes, I know it was a very loose paraphrase of the novel for you purists). It was a good movie. Later PKD based movies have gone slowly downhill. Minority report for example was crapola.

It's like they take great ideas from smart, creative people, and then water them down through the Hollywood machine. Make them more PC, attempt to make them appeal to a wider audience, etc. End up with baby food.

Anyway, I wouldn't have wanted to pay full theatre prices for this, but it was more than worth the $1 Redbox rental.

The Real Tachyon

Battlefield Earth (2000)

Finally, proof of Travolta's missing acting skills

[1/10 · 7 June 2005]

I've said for years that Travolta is a terrible actor. The problem has always been that a few good directors have made decent movies despite him, not because of him. These 'red herring' movies have put reasonable doubt into the minds of the jury of public opinion.

However, this movie leaves no doubt about his abilities. With him in charge(producer), and as the lead there is no one to blame for this travesty but Travolta. Even though I was sure that 'Broken Arrow' had already settled that argument.

Anyway. This movie has no legs to stand on. L. Ron Hubbard was a crackpot with barely passable writing skills. So your screenwriters had nothing to work with. Then you have Travolta basically running the whole thing. Even choosing the director and basically directing him (or so the stories go) since he didn't want his beloved cult leader's story messed up.

The plot is MIA, the acting horrible, the cinematography so-so, the FX average or less with a scene or two that are exceptions.

Even though I usually enjoy a "good bad" movie, I can't think of anyone that deserves to be made to watch this crap.

Save your money and rent 'The Day the Earth Stood Still' instead.

Note: I've tried hard to follow comment guidelines (see "Profanity, obscenities, or spiteful remarks." from the "What not to include" section) but this movie requires extraordinary measures.