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Reviews
The Midnight Meat Train (2008)
Hey! Who stole all the logic?
I must say I was expecting a decent movie when I put this in the DVD player. Sadly it was OK at best. Great visuals with some fun but tacky CGI gore.
It kept me entertained throughout but I got more and more annoyed with characters decisions. Every character in this movie is inconsistently illogical and irrational. I wouldn't say anything if the director and the writer established that the characters were dumb on the verge of retardation from the get go but it just gets worse as the film goes along. There are so many "why?" questions I just wanted to cry. Why did the girlfriend decide to go to a psycho killers apartment instead of the police? Why did the main guy go along with becoming the new killer at the end? Nothing made sense. If it only made sense in the established world of the movie I would be happy but it didn't.
I really wanted to like this movie as it had so much potential: Clive Barker, Ryûhei Kitamura and Vinny Jones.
Why didn't someone fix this script before they wasted all that money? It could have been a great movie.
DAMN!!
Saint Ange (2004)
Sad that people are so ignorant to what they don't understand.
This film is hard to review.
I loved the cinematography. It's beautiful and for the small budget I think they did an awesome job.
The story is very interesting. It's a bit hard to understand while you watch it but if you let it linger in your mind for a bit (and check out some of the forums here :)) you will hopefully see that it is a well crafted piece of work. It's sad that people who don't understand the story or who just think its boring gets to vote. You wouldn't give a film 10/10 just because you understand everything in a film straight away? So why give this film 1/10? It's just sad and ignorant.
The issue I had with the film was that it was very slow and I couldn't help myself from watching the clock a few times. With a faster pace and a few more disturbing images this could easily have been a 8/10.
I saw it two hours ago. I went on the forum just to check out some of the confusion that was in my mind. Maybe if I would have waited a day or two I might have figured most of the stuff out for myself. But I think the film is meant to have you make up your own mind of what really happened. And that is what I really like about films like this.
6/10 only for the slow pace.
See it with an open mind and hopefully you'll enjoy it.
Day of the Dead 2: Contagium (2005)
The title doesn't help the film
First off I have to say that this film has nothing to do with any of the Romero films. I don't know why they decided to use the name "Day of the dead" since it only hurts the viewers expectations.
If you see it as a low budget horror/comedy/sci-fi movie without the connection it is actually a quite enjoyable film. That is if you enjoy b-grade horror. The only issue I had with the film is the abrupt ending.
OK acting. Some if it was quite terrible but enjoyable in its bad way. Production values was OK but for 9M$ I think they could have done better.
Throw away all expectations. Ignore the title of the movie (Think of it as "Contagium"). And just enjoy the fun.
I never was bored during the film and that is something I can't say for a lot of similar films out there even though I'm one of the biggest horror buffs out there.
Alone in the Dark (2005)
Fun if your a b-movie lover like me.
For all people who thinks Uwe Boll should never do another film: The solution is easy. DON'T see the films he is making. Don't pay for them and DON'T talk about them.
As they say all publicity is good publicity. And Hollywood will keep giving him money as long as they get their money back with a little bit of profit. That's how it goes in Hollywood. They don't care if a film is good or bad as long as they make money of it.
If you watch his films just to see how bad they are so you can tell other people you are an idiot. If you watch his films to have a good time laughing at the bad dialogue or crappy acting/directing you are like me... A B-Movie Lover. It's nothing to be ashamed over. I love crappy funny movies.
I can't say his films are good but there are definitely worse directors and there are a whole lot of worse movies than Uwe's. Maybe not in the same "budget" class but still. He seems to make the money back to the producers and that's all that counts in the end for him to keep making them.
Those who watch His films so they can spread the word about how bad they are: It's like going to McDonalds and eating every week and then complaining that McDonalds have the worst food ever? It's stupid and pointless. And if someone ask you why you eat at McDonals all the time you would answer:
Just so I can tell everyone else how bad their food are...
STUPID!!!
Oh, and by the way. The movie wasn't a master piece but we all knew that anyway. 4/10
Cold and Dark (2005)
Great Film brought down by a flawed ending.
There was a lot of stuff I really liked in this movie. Quirky characters, excellent cinematography, moody lighting, great camera work and most of the characters did a good and believable performance.
It's not everyday you see that in a low budget movie. I think they did an excellent job in shooting this in a month.
I have to say that I am a bit disappointed with the ending after I had really enjoyed this movie all the way. But I can recommend this for anyone that concider themselves a horror buff.
Great looking women as well.
I wish more movies had the same enthusiasm in the creative process as this one did.
Good Stuff.
Dead & Breakfast (2004)
Don't compare this to Evil Dead or Braindead Please!
People who compare this to Evil Dead and Braindead should be ashamed! I'm not saying this movie is bad but those two movies are so much better. I gave this movie a 6 because I enjoyed it the whole way through.
The comedy aspect of it was the worst part. The actors wasn't that funny and the jokes was usually a bit tired and took away too much from the vibe of the movie. I would have liked the humor to be a bit more sinister. And the gore a bit more visual and extended.
Everyone who likes splatter will probably enjoy this but don't expect a masterpiece like Evil Dead or Braindead.