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Reviews
Inglourious Basterds (2009)
Overrated
Whatever Tarantino does, it will get tens from certain people. Nothing bad about that, some people are fans, and fans tend to see only the good points of a movie and completely disregard the bad ones. So when the movie ends and you subconsciously have written out all the bad stuff, you say that that bad stuff is actually good... and there is 10 stars. Too bad that some people, who are not fans, tend to act like sheep and think: "if this movie has 8.7, this movie must be great; and if I say it is stupid, that means I'm stupid, cause I can't understand it"... And give the movie 8-9 stars.
This movie had just several high points: Cristoph Walts, first scene, bar scene. (First scene being complete The Good, The Bad and The Ugly ripoff, the bar scene ending in typical Guy Ritchie fashion...) They are under an hour combined. The rest of the movie is patchwork, bad mix between action, western, drama and parody. Brad Pitt is just a poster boy, a lot like his role in Babel. He makes maybe his worst role, too. Eli Roth is plain horrible, but he gets as much screen time as Pitt. That guy is just worthless actor and should quit it. The really awful thing about the movie is the Jewish propaganda. By the books, toо. Hitler, Goebbels and the Nazis are complete retards and idiots, all the jew guys- cool and idealistic. The only moron among the jews is Pitt, but guess what- he ain't jew, he is redneck. In some aspects, Tarantino is harsher than Allo, Allo- but unlike the cult series, where absolutely everybody is ridiculed, in this movie only the Nazis take the beating... Yeah, I knew that the movie was about jews, scalping Germans, but what I saw was beyond my imagination.
Zift (2008)
1 star or 10 stars
In fact, a sociological research can be done about Bulgaria along those pages here.
Some people say "it is the worst movie ever" and give it 1 star, some say it is "the best Bulgarian movie" and give it 8-10 stars. Well, the truth is somewhere in between. (I hate that "this movie is horrible" people say "too much profanity"... what? This movie is FAR LESS profane than ANY meeting in Bulgaria, where men are present...)
-The acting... is bad. Or, there is not any. Only Moth is kinda okay, the rest is in the mediocre-horrible range (Ada being the bottom).
-Characters... are horrible. Firstly, NOBODY swears... Undertakers, drunkards, military people, prisoners... WHAT? I don't know if non-balkan guys know how is it here, but HELL, even most intelligent of our guys swear like hell... when you listen to angry security guard for example, you can laugh your ass from the swears you will hear... In this movie- "f!ck, sh!t". Hell, Americans swear that way, bulgarians... DON'T. Besides, all characters speak in PERFECT Bulgarian, which makes them totally frigid and unrealistic (imagine a movie about a ghetto, where all black guys talk like Barrack Obama).
-The storyline- is utterly messed at the end. The motives of some major characters remain unclear when the lights are up.
-The Balkan humor- is missing and that is just insane. All we have to offer IS THAT, not make some high-budget movie rip-offs- because they won't work.
-The dialogue- is most of the time bad. So is the narrator text- yeah, it is from a book... SO WHAT? There are bad books too- and this one is one of them.
-The scene when they run at the women public bath and there are numerous naked women- is POINTLESS. I don't hold anything against nudity, but I HATE pointless nudity.
Yeah, with so much "bads", someone will ask where are the "goods". Well, there are some. The movie is nicely shot, from my point of view- this is the big +. There were some nice moments too. But that's about it. Yes, the dialogue, story, acting weren't insanely bad, they weren't Epic/Disaster movie bad, they just weren't any good. I would give that movie 3 or 4 for the effort- it is not so bad to deserve 1, but it ain't deserving 8-10 too... not by a long shot.
Transporter 3 (2008)
Plain bad
Transporter 2 is one of my favorite brainless movies. You watch it with your brain turned off and it is great fun. You don't even think how ridiculous the plot was... you don't care.
So for Transporter 3 I proceeded just like the last one... I got some beers, I watched it, I turned my brain off... and it was horrible! The plot was even more insane, the dialog was written by 4-year old or someone with brain damage and what's worse- the action was completely screwed. That guy Megaton should really be introduced to some radiation, cause he doesn't deserve any more chances of making movies. The fast-forwarded chase was one of the most pathetic things I've seen in non-fox kids movie. The action scenes were badly shot and unattractive. And why the frack there were so many scenes with Statham without his shirt? This is action movie, guy movie... not GAY movie. The only thing that I liked regarding the action sequences was Semmy Schilt.
There is very thin line between brainless-funny and brainless... brainless. And the best way to cross it is by taking the "funny" from brainless movie away (the action) and put hour and half of plain brainlessness.
Rambo (2008)
Simply outstanding
OK. There were many action movies in the past years. And yes, indeed, they were crap. They relied on one crappy 10-million dollar scene, showing how bullet on slow motion hits something or how a building collapses. And that was it. You watch a movie you think it's action movie, and you have 80 minutes of crap, one minute of final battle scene and nine minutes of "dramatic" ending. But, I would say, there is god for us, action movie lovers- is it Rambo?
Yes.
Truly great action movie. Truly. Not a single moment of time stretching, not a single moment of bulk... Just action. Pure and clear. And the battles- oh, my! Amazing! Bloody, expressionistic, naturalistic... All you need from that kind of movie. No, there are not censored "I want to watch with my sonny who doesn't need to watch blood" battle scenes, they are as real as they can get. The blood is spilling, the skulls are shattered, the insides are out and the limbs are disconnected. And that is what matters!
But, the great thing comes besides that- that the movie possesses nice storyline (as for action movie), the acting is good, not high class of course, but it fits great. The soundtrack is just in place, as well. There is no time wasting, as I mentioned- the movie starts, the movie goes and ends- and everything is where it should be. No "we have a nice 1-minute 100 million dollar last scene we made the whole movie for" attitude. Quite the contrary.
As for ending I would just say one thing- amazing.