PhilPacker77 Reviews

Amber Road (2022)

Pretty damn good for a gory murder mystery

[10/10 · 27 January 2023]

This movie is a horror movie with lots of gore, with a few twists, and all wrapped up in a mystery.

A husband and wife (James and Mary) are being held captive in a mortuary while the wicked as hell mortician, Pauline, tortures them, snipping away their bits and pieces. That's one story.

Then there's the deputy cop, Emma, who is looking for her husband's murderer. He disappeared while investigating a series of child disappearances.

Then there's the Amber Road, like its Silk Road counterpart, it's a dark web black market. The movie makes it clear that anything can be purchased there - including murder and torture, which seems to be the case in this movie.

Somehow or another it all ties together.

There's lots of good acting from the leads. William McNamara is great as James the tortured husband. I don't think he's been in anything this grim since Copycat with Sigourney Weaver. Tom Sizemore shows up in a few scenes as does Vernon Wells (any movie with Bennett from Commando is worth a watch from me).

But really, all the actors are good and the story moves quickly with a couple of real surprises. No shocking scares, but there is some shocking gore. Not quite torture porn but just on the edge of being so.

Terror Train (2022)

Eh, not that bad

[5/10 · 22 November 2022]

I watched the entire movie and felt compelled to write a review, so there, you have that.

My expectations were low, but I actually enjoyed a lot of this movie. It was pretty predictable. Even without seeing the original, it was pretty obvious who the killer was from the start despite trying to throw a string of red herrings at the viewer.

It was mostly well-acted with a few flat performances, but nothing terrible. The kills were mainly off camera but the gore was pretty good when we got to see it.

This movie was mostly a money grab, I think. It didn't seem to have the love for the genre that a lot of the low budget horror movies have, but like I said, it was still entertaining.

San Francisco Stories (2021)

Comically bad, made by pretentious filmmakers

[2/10 · 21 June 2022]

Here is another example of a bad movie getting friends and pals to rate it. This movie thinks so highly of itself and the pretentiousness of the filmmakers ruins anything that might have been halfway enjoyable here. If people actually take the time to watch this as I did, I'm sure the creators will be mystified by negative reviews and the simplicity in the fact that they are falling flat at every turn.

The Ghastly Love of Johnny X (2012)

So much fun

[8/10 · 26 February 2022]

This movie mixes old school sci-fi B-movies with musicals and is under-appreciated fun. The cast is solid and Paul Williams is awesome. The songs aren't particularly memorable but they are nicely done.

The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence) (2011)

Better filmmaking, tougher watch

[5/10 · 25 February 2022]

This is a better quality film than the first but is so extreme that it overshadows an interesting and unique way to tell a story. Tom Six focuses so much on shocking us he doesn't realize there is a fascinating character study here.

The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2009)

It is what it is

[7/10 · 25 February 2022]

Compelling at times. Very original. Hard to watch. Weird to admit that I really like it. Super negative reviews are probably people who should have even watched in the first place.

The Last Hurrah (2009)

Not sure how I found this, but loved it

[10/10 · 25 February 2022]

I dunno how I even came across this movie. I guess in my never ending quest to find cool indies it got fed into an algorithm somewhere. It claims to be one single shot which means it was basically performed like a play. Well-acted indie with a fun story.

Barney Burman's Wild Boar (2019)

Another indie getting a bad rap

[9/10 · 25 February 2022]

This movie is very entertaining and is kind of a super low budget version of Wrong Turn with its on flavor. Wild Boar is yet another victim of indie haters who have lost the ability to watch and appreciate something off the beaten path.

The Electric Man (2022)

This movie is SOOO good!

[10/10 · 25 February 2022]

A movie that proves general audiences have fallen well below the lowest common denominator. All the low scores here are ridiculous and show the ineptitude of movie watchers who find the Star Wars and Marvel universes as the be all end all. This movie is smart, weird, quirky and so much fun. However, being that it is stagnant of action, and is dialogue heavy, the impatient masses won't appreciate this movie for what it is. Felt like going to a small playhouse and watching a well rehearsed play. Loved it.

I Spit on Your Grave: Deja Vu (2019)

Better than the ratings

[5/10 · 25 February 2022]

Kind of a direct sequel to the original. Actually has a pretty compelling storyline with some surprises. Acting is a little flat which is the main weakness. Gore is not as nearly excessive as the recent remakes.

I Spit on Your Grave 2 (2013)

Sold sequel to a solid remake

[7/10 · 25 February 2022]

This one is tough to watch at times for its sheer brutality and graphic images. Nothing is off limits in this sequel. A few moments made me turn my head away as I could fill the pain if the evil doers turned victims.

I Spit on Your Grave (2010)

Solid remake

[7/10 · 25 February 2022]

Well done remake that keeps the original "day of the woman" revenge theme intact. My be a little over the top for horror watchers who like subtle. This is in your face gore.

Blind (III) (2019)

Reviewers are unrealistic

[7/10 · 25 February 2022]

This is a really good indie horror movie. Movie watchers in the age of Marvel and streaming are impatient with unrealistic expectations. This isn't filled with CGI but is a solid low budget horror movie that would have been highly praised by movie watchers two decades ago. Classic masked killer. Can't wait to watch the sequel.