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Meet the Spartans (2008)
I've never laughed less during a comedy
I usually think IMDB is needlessly harsh on comedies. In this case, it was warranted. If it were up to me, I would have turned it off within 5-10 minutes, but since I was watching with family, I had to stand the full 1½ hours of it. Unforgivably atrocious. A few giggles, that's it.
If you really like cheap 2000s pop culture inserts into a movie set in ancient Greece, this is for you. There are ways to make parodies without being this cringe-inducing.
Also, Ken Davitian's body should never be viewed in daylight. Or anywhere.
The Women Who Kill Lions (2016)
Thoughtful documentary
Well-made, filmed and edited, and as another commenter said, tasteful.
Those who say they had to stop watching after five minutes have no idea what it is about. Five minutes in, we are just being shown taxidermied animals. The film follows two women, one perhaps more relatable than the other, among a growing demographic of hunting women and girls, and the barrage of hate they face online, as people are more easily provoked by a beautiful woman killing animals than the stereotypical gruff male hunter.
The only cruel and heartless people I see in this film are the ones who harass, hate and even threaten bodily harm and death on these women and their families - even their children.
Whether you have strong feelings on hunting either way, or don't care, I say give this film a go. It might surprise you.
War for the Planet of the Apes (2017)
So disappointing
I was really looking forward to this one. I loved Rise, and Dawn was perfectly okay, so I expected something else that was pretty great. Oh was I wrong.
Asides from the things many others have commented on (but unlike 90% of IMDb users, I can give a film something other than 1 or 10 stars) like poor pacing, poor plot, the lack of an actual "war" and so on, I have several things that were bugging me so bad.
1) Bad Ape. I get it, an attempt at comic relief. Well, it was indeed BAD. Painful, painful character, stupid attempt at humor that definitely wasn't missing in the two previous films, and I was immediately wondering why his voice was so different from the other apes. They speak slowly, as if they have to force the words out. He had poor grammar, but spoke with a very human voice with no effort. The character served no purpose other than to get laughs out of seven-year olds, who of course aren't supposed to watch a film like this anyway.
2) The girl. Like 100 other commenters before me, WHY didn't she react to her father being killed? Since we have no information to the contrary, we can only assume he was her father and that he didn't treat her badly, yet she didn't shed one tear. But a gorilla gives her a flower and dies an hour later - BRING ON THE TEARS. Her only purpose, as stupid as that of Bad Ape, was to be cute and innocent.
3) Killing off Caesar's family - WHY?! I know why, cheapest plot device in the book. "Man, two films, we're all out of ideas." "I know! Let's kill his family and send him on a revenge quest! That always brings in cash!" It has been done. To. Death. And I was really disgusted Caesar's son, who was a real character, was killed off so swiftly, with no scene or time spent on it. Just BAM - there's his body, leading Caesar into a very cheap and clichéd vengeance-rampage in where the hero battles his former foe on the inside (Koba).
4) Speaking of time, CHARACTER. Lake was given about five seconds to show she was in a relationship-kind-of-ish with Blue Eyes, and her only purpose was to be the only remaining adult sort of-family member of Caesar, after his son and wife were killed. No relationship build-up, as poorly written as the girl crying over the dead gorilla. "Quick! We have to get through all this fast so we can have long, endless scenes of nonsense later in the film!"
5) Caesar dying. I'm not entirely sure this is bad. I am half sad about this as the character deserved a much better end than this horrible excuse of a film, but at the same time, I hope this means they will make no more movies, if this is the path it's headed down. (And you're telling me THEY WALKED THROUGH A DESERT - and no one noticed he was injured? And he just "goes to sleep" the moment they get there?)
6) Easter eggs or homages to the old films. I like this when it's done just enough. Like the swift mention of "Cornelia" in Rise, the name of Caesar, and that Caesar's mother's name was Bright Eyes. But now... it went overboard. Caesar's second son is named Cornelius? Come on, you already did that with Cornelia. The girl is named Nova? And that's the FIRST time in three movies that the orangutan Maurice speaks? Ughh...
7) White man bad. Remember this, kids! White Christian men are evil! (I am neither a man nor Christian BTW.) White man destroy stuff! White man kill "the other" for no reason at all! White man stupid! White man destroyed, we happy! - The moral message of the film, which we have already seen done to death for the past 50 years.
8) CG. This was fantastic. Like many others said, almost the only redeeming feature of the film. And those who loved the film, seems to mostly praise this. But CG alone does not make a film great. My question is, if they can spend so many millions on photo-realistic CG, can they not spend 0.0001% of that on finding GOOD writers? PLEASE. Hollywood has really gone downhill in recent years, and this is further proof of that.
I had to check if the writers and directors were the same throughout the three films, and of course, they were not. They took in new writers in Dawn, and moved out the original writers in War. I could tell straight through, since it was unintelligent, propaganda dribble, with the worst pacing and writing I have ever seen.
I have changed this from 5 to 3 stars because there are very few redeeming factors of this film.
Passengers (2016)
Are we hitting a golden age of SF?
Amazing film. I didn't know what to expect, all I knew going in was that two people woke up 90 years too soon, on their way to a distant planet.
I came out having seen well-developed characters faced with difficult choices and having to come to term with those choices. To me, a very realistic movie about human nature, ultimately. I guess Neil DeGrasse Tyson or whoever will soon make a statement on the movie's accuracy, but as far as I could see (being a closet nerd for interstellar travel), it did it better than many films in the past have.
The one minor nitpick I could find in the whole film, was when the ship announces them passing a star close up - why did the ship have it programmed to announce it, if they were not going to be awake for another 90 years? But to me, this film had everything. Good pacing, just enough action, emotion, suspense, and believable characters that I ended up really feeling for, and like in another film I just watched (Light between oceans), you see one of the main characters making a terrible decision but you know that in the same situation, anyone would have done the same thing.
To those that down vote it or boycott it because "a man is taking advantage of a woman" - get a life. Not everything has to be about your political agenda, or gender or race. If the gender roles were reversed, we wouldn't be hearing a peep from you. So sit down and enjoy an amazing movie.