mark-1478 Reviews

This Town (2024– )

Pretentious, misleading waste of time.

[3/10 · 29 April 2024]

What was billed and advertised as a love letter to ska and two tone in the early eighties was actually a dull, pretentious, wasted opportunity. Uneven episodes where some were better than others but it never soared to any great heights.

The music was for the most part an after thought, totaling about 1hr of the six hour drama. Instead it was endless Irish "troubles" and unbelievable gangster nonsense with a bit of alcoholism and depression thrown in liberally.

Talking of music, how did they manage to pick such terrible choices along with a dull original score when there was so much amazing music of that period.

It also doesn't help when your main character is for the most part an annoying, pretentious prat mumbling on with inane musings every other sentence.

Did it look accurate? I guess they did a serviceable job but my goodness, Birmingham and Coventry must have been the most deserted places on the planet if this show was anything to go by! Where was everybody?

Finally going back to the (non existent) band, it was predictably mostly all crammed into the final episode but in no way would this lot have made it big with those songs. Presumably the writer thought "hey damn, I better actually do some of this band stuff now".

The Witches (2020)

Its not a "remake"!!

[6/10 · 7 January 2024]

Honestly, how can you trust the opinions of people if they can not understand that this isn't a remake but another adaptation of the book Heck, they even acknowledge the 1990 version isn't always so faithful to the book as this one is particularly the ending so how on earth is this a "remake" for crying out loud!!

As for the film itself, it was fine, it will pass 90 minutes on a Sunday afternoon but its probably not one you will rush to watch again. Octavia Spencer is reliable as ever, i quite enjoyed Anne Hathaway's over the top performance but somehow the film feels a bit sparse (covid perhaps?). Almost zero focus is given to any other witch. It also looses momentum when it becomes focused on cgi mice for a good 25 minutes.

So, it very well may not be as good as the previous version but please people, get it right, its not.a.remake!

Relic (2020)

Not half as clever as it would like to be

[5/10 · 9 September 2023]

Really wanted to like this as the two lead actresses are usually good value, i had no preconceptions going into it what to expect but boy was it it ultimately a disappointent.

First off for a film only 90 minutes did it drag, mainly because for about 70 minutes nothing of any note really happened. Its only in the last 20 minutes does it burst into life, but by then its too late. Most of the "horror" in the first portion is the typical tropes (strange bangs/black mold appearing), nothing original. The finally is slightly disturbing but i doubt I'll remember it in 12 months.

My next problem was what the film was actually trying to say. I took that the events were indeed supernatural but was supposed to parallel how dementia is experienced by its sufferers. But no, according to the own director's words its both supernatural and dementia at the same time. That doesn't cut it for me. Certainly didn't pull off its ambitions that's for sure. There are far more effective films about the subject of dementia that dont rely on horror gimmicks.

Ome other quick point is that the film is so dimly lit and with quite a few shots of scribbled notes i couldn't remotely tell what was written, it was just pointless.

Frankly its just not as original or clever as it would like to pretend to be, a bang average horror film.

Nope (2022)

Nope. Just stop now please Peele.

[5/10 · 11 March 2023]

A mess. A, long, tedious mess. Whist Get Out was had something interesting to say it still suffered from predictability (7 stars for me), US was not great (6 stars) and now we find long, rambling Nope (yep you guessed 5 stars). I really do think Peele is incapable of telling a captivating story that keep you glued to the screen.

First half of this latest film, slow but engaging with some decent comedy touches but after that reveal, was an incomprehensible mess that just goes on and on and on... The end? I have no idea what it was nor did I care at that point.

One other thing, the chimp (again I don't care!!) I'm sure there is some deep message in this film but Peele is just not capable of delivering it. I have no desire to waste another 2+hours of my life watching another Peele film again.

12 Pups of Christmas (2019)

Awful, unlikable lead character.

[3/10 · 22 November 2022]

These tv Christmas movies are a bit of a guilty pleasure to have on in the background, but this one was so strange and promted me to review.

A, the main character was such an unlikable, cold, moody old boot. How is this possible in a Xmas movie?

B, little of the plot made sense (why would a dog therapist give the puppies to the woman who cheated on her ex to rehome?) C, no chemistry between the lead and the romantic interest, who frankly was also a bit of a douch.

One to avoid.

Ps what's with the minimum character limit on these reviews? Is this a new thing, I've seen lots of short, concise reviews on here before??

The Big Bang Theory: The Habitation Configuration (2012) Season 6, Episode 7

Very poor writing and plot.

[4/10 · 14 October 2022]

Wouldn't normally leave a review for a single episode of a tv show but this episode really rubbed me up the wrong way and it's all because of one character - Amy.

By this point the show was still pretty strong (Season 7 is for me, when it all went down hill), but the plot and writing in this was atrocious for the simple reason of how rude Amy was to Wil Wheaton, and yet for the entire rest of the episode, it was written as Wheaton being the badguy (simply for calling Amy out on her rudeness) and Sheldon being a lapdog by trying to please her. To top it off, the episode ends with Amy being rude again to another character/cameo.

The subplot of Howard moving out of the family home was barring a couple of lines, tedious too.

Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022)

A film of two halves.

[6/10 · 11 September 2022]

This is a frustrating film. Put simply, first half good, easy to follow. Second half a confusing mess of never ending FX ladden fights. I couldn't wait for it to end. And there's the next problem, it's about twenty minutes too long. Cut out some of the random fan service scenes and tighten up the fighting and it would be a much better, leaner film.

Issue number three is the whole WandaVision thing. I have never seen it, nor likely ever to so felt I was missing out and a viewer should never feel like that watching a film.

In conclusion, sure it will break tonnes of records because its Marvel, but it really is just more of the same old same old.

Memory: The Origins of Alien (2019)

Just average.

[6/10 · 4 July 2022]

So this doc spends quite a bit of time discussing the origins and possible inspiration for Alien and the infamous chest buster scene, but not a lot else.

Only tiny amount of archive Ridley interviews and next to zero mention of Ripley/Sigourney.

Frankly I would get the deluxe DVDs released some time back and watch the docs that are part of the extras. Far superior.

Ancient Aliens (2009– )

If in doubt, just claim Aliens did it..

[3/10 · 4 December 2021]

Seriously, I love a good Ufo documentary but this show takes the biscuit. At first it was good fun, and there was some interesting stuff I'd never heard of but it has just become so desperate. "Could it be aliens built /taught xyz? Ancient ufologists say yes.!" Why? Provide at lease a bit of credible evidence don't just keep saying yes!! Most Connections they make are very spurious, if you try hard enough you can connect many things. All said this show is just pure comedy now.

It Chapter Two (2019)

A film that does not know what it wants to be !

[5/10 · 31 August 2020]

I don't normally review films but this one really bugged me. I saw the first chapter, and whilst not a film i would rush back to see it had a certain charm, but this was a total mess, tonally, length, script, heck even the acting was poor.I kept putting off watching and now i see my gut was right.

1. The tone was all over the place. The first film felt very Goonies meets horror, but what was this? It was like Hangover meets horror. Was it supposed to be a comedy horror? Who knows, but it if it was its been done much better elsewhere. 2. Above brings me to script. Endless use of the f word & "you've got to be .... kidding me". Who talks like this when faced with grotesque creatures? Again is this comedy or what? 3. Repetitive. First hour was decent enough, but the next hour was tedious beyond belief, by splitting them up (yes i know its the source material!) we were then proceeded to an endless stream of character goes to some dark, dank place and encounters a hideous creature (a shape-shifting Pennywise i guess) running towards the camera, full CGI on show. ENDLESSLY! As a result this "horror" was just not at all scary, save for one or two bits. In fact, the most horrifying part was the very beginning, and that was something involving all humans. 4.By the two hour mark i was willing it to end it had become so boring (not a word i use lightly, I'm all for long, slow burning films). I was constantly checking the time, and worst still, knowing there was still another 40ish minutes to go. If ever there was film needing to be trimmed down, this was it. In fact, the first part was bad enough in terms of length and dragging but this was on a whole new level. 5. I honestly believe Chastain and McAvoy must be secretly wondering why the hell they signed up for this, they pretty much phoned in the performance. And don't get me started on Bill Hader. I can only lay the blame at the directer and scriptwriters.

In all just a mess of a film and one you might well wonder why on earth you wasted almost 3 hours of your life watching. Just very poor. A film that does not know what it wants to be.

If Beale Street Could Talk (2018)

Anything but slow, dull and boring!

[8/10 · 29 September 2019]

If I see one more review stating a film as the above I will scream, it really does say a lot more about the person than the actual film. This was anything but. It does not quite hit the heights of Moonlight but it is still richly beautiful, wonderfully acted and the soundtrack hauntingly beautiful. 1 to 5 stars? Really??

First Man (2018)

Stunning in so many ways!

[9/10 · 20 October 2018]

Ignore those that claim it's boring and long, I have to wonder what those people's attention spans are like. This film is a visually stunning, incredibly moving with a beautiful soundtrack, it really is hard to dislike anything. Maybe some people were expecting another Apollo13 type film, and I love that film too but this is just a more beautiful and introspective but no less fascinating film. Oh and to people complaining about close ups of the actors faces, so what! I found it compelling watching every nuance of their performance up close! To sum up, watch for yourself and then judge.