SusanHampson Reviews

Stalker (1979)

Strangely compelling

[8/10 · 24 August 2014]

HORRIBLE SPOILERS (well just my take on it really) but please DON'T READ ON IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT.

Whoa. This is a strange one. I watched it at a small viewing in London. The film is slow but strangely compelling as the imagery is nothing short of sublime. Who cares that nothing is happening when every screen shot is more vivid and haunting than the last? A truly strange picture postcard offering of a film. And it's offering a truly surreal world within a silent landscape - the characters are almost unnecessary. I was happy just watching each eerie frame, each one eerier than the last.

The three main characters however all share a rugged appeal and after about an hour (I know that seems a long time) I started to realise that "the zone" that the stalker (for stalker read guide) takes the two fee-paying intellectuals into, is in fact their own minds. And when it comes down to it, their minds are beset with all the ignorance of the true intellectual. This is a mind-bending watch but enjoyable nevertheless. My take on it is that I think the stalker represents a therapist and he is trying to help the two characters but they don't want help, and rail against true healing. After a lot of travelling through a wild, dangerous landscape, when they are actually on the verge of that happiness that they have paid to find, they reject it. As they sit outside the door of enlightenment, they are so shaken that one tries to blow it up (a professor) and the other denies it (a writer), who prefers to hold on to his own misery - not as if his life depended on it - but his life does actually depend on it. This part of the film was frustrating to me as I realised the two men were cowards.

This is a truly deep meditation on being human and how some (maybe all of us?) will choose misery over happiness as we are comfortable with it, we know what it is, it is life, is it not. Anything else is just plain scary and too daunting, however much we think we want change. This film is a true masterpiece. This is the first film I have watched from this director. I hope all his films are as deep and as mysterious as this one. 8/10 from me.

The Fault in Our Stars (2014)

Sick from cheese

[1/10 · 2 July 2014]

This film is horribly cheesy. Hollywood does cancer very very badly. The male lead could not act and therefore I was not convinced and therefore I did not cry. I cry at everything usually but this film is not convincing at all. It was definitely the male lead that spoilt it for me. I just didn't understand his naked obsession with the female lead. From the minute he sets eyes on her, wham he is in love! I found that very strange, or maybe it was just the way he did it. I know love at first sight happens but this seemed way over the top. If you watch Love Story from the 60's which features cancer, it has an authentic love story and build up but this film does not seem to be that genuine so you don't really care about the characters. To be frank, the whole thing reeks of cheese. Stay away.

Arthur (1981)

Arthur and Martha

[10/10 · 1 March 2014]

"Susan you're such an a**hole!" Only someone as hopelessly childlike as Arthur could glean a smile from such a comment but his fiancé seems oblivious to his insults. For this is the best he can do as he sits opposite a woman he is forced to marry or be cut off without a cent (US$750million to be exact). Susan adores everything about him (what woman wouldn't?) and come to think of it, most of the people he meets in the film adore him except his family. I certainly would fall at his feet if Arthur Bach were a real character. He has warmth, style and dare I reveal my shallowness - he has pots and pots and pots of money. So what's not to like? This film is utterly charming and hasn't lost any of its appeal even though it's now more than 30 years old. It is a really romantic film at its heart and it is very satisfying watching the helpless manchild fall in love with a charismatic and striking actress, Linda Marolla (played by a quirky Liza Minnelli). Unfortunately this all happens at the same time as he is being manipulated by his powerful family into marrying the beautiful, elegant and how can I put this - a square cardboard cut out of a woman, Susan Johnson. She is beautiful, no question but Arthur, although from old money, acts like a parvenu; he's always drunk and appears to connect with real people and so the vivacious Linda, who's always got a story at the ready to get herself out of trouble, really appeals to him.

Arthur's character is a charming playboy whose life revolves around drinking and laughing, and little else. He likes to live it up, a bit like the hellraisers of the eighties but with none of their artistic bent. Arthur is no Ollie Reed or Peter O'Toole, he is a bored multimillionaire which does make him quite a tragic figure. "Some people drink because they are not poets. This is who I am." He desperately tries to explain to the gloriously vacuous Susan. But boy does he come alive when he's on the sauce! Dudley Moore who plays Arthur is very convincing as a drunk and plays it so beautifully. He is certainly the life and soul of the party and the best one liner for me is when he says to his betrothed's butler "Are you sure you want to be a nightclub comic?" when said butler displays all the personality of a walking corpse. Arthur's own butler, Hobson (Sir John Gielgud) needs no introduction and deserved the Oscar he received for his dry and biting wit. "If you and your undergarment could move two paces backwards, I could enter this dwelling." he snorts to Linda's bewildered father as he enters their humble abode. Hobson is an innate snob and even though every utterance is an insult he's such an original that you readily forgive him.

As we see the dilemmas that Arthur faces throughout the film, we do see him develop and mature (just a bit). His slightly deranged and eccentric grandmother, Martha is hilarious and I thought she would be a great match for Hobson as they are both inveterate snobs but that would be a totally wild and unbelievable storyline - what was I thinking! If you are still an old romantic at heart (even though thirty years have passed since you may have seen it) watch it again. Arthur and Martha truly lit up my heart as did all the other characters. RIP Dudley Moore and Sir John Gielgud, unforgettable performances, unforgettable film.

What? (1972)

What the hell was he thinking?

[1/10 · 25 February 2014]

Even though I knew this film was an early-ish Roman Polanski I still wasn't prepared for the overt stamp of perversion running through it. Unlike Knife in the Water and some of the other subtitled films I have seen of his, this has none of the beauty that I know he is capable of. This film is just appalling. This is probably because it is not just directed by him but written and produced also. It's a shame that we have his thoughts directed on celluloid as his thoughts are the worst thing about him - cue a very perverted film.

I watched this in 2014 and it looked like it was made in the seventies, not sure if shortly after the US Government tried to deport him but they should have based on this film alone. So how can I explain the story? Wide-eyed, beautiful blonde walks around an Amalfi villa half-naked for two and a half hours saying and doing the dumbest **** that I have ever seen on celluloid? No wait, Dumb and Dumber just beat her but hey, that's a spoof on stupidity, this sadly isn't. To be honest, I am embarrassed to be a woman and to watch this all the way through. My toes were curling and I am no sandal-wearing feminist, I just baulk at watching a woman being submissively whipped during sex and then telling her abuser she loves him.

To sum this up, the script could have been written by a teenager and some of the one-liners in it (some by Mr Polanski) are truly truly cringe worthy. I would recommend this film if I thought you could glean any film-making tips from it but this is no Tess or The Pianist. I think Mr Polanski had so many other things on his mind when making this film he forgot how to direct it. I didn't recognise any of his craftsmanship which is why I hired it in the first place. In keeping with Bitter Moon which was also another turkey, avoid this film if you actually want some substance to your main character and some depth to the story.

Inside Llewyn Davis (2013)

Tell Me Who You Love

[4/10 · 22 February 2014]

Well, actually no-one in this film. I loved the music though and was the last to leave the cinema - so mesmerised was I. The music took me to a tranquil place in my soul - a place I hadn't visited for ages. It gripped me and I felt so peaceful. But the story? Lame. The characters? Ugly and dull. Totally charmless. I am sure everyone wore beige. I know the Coen Brothers do weird, are weird, that is the hallmark of their films but the protagonist has little appeal unless he's singing. He is either a depressive (please get some help) or was born without a personality (so sorry). Either way, should such a charmless character appear in every scene? In similar fashion to the overrated quietly but definitely depressing and thanks-for-edging-me-ever-nearer-towards-killing-myself-Nebraska, this film is emotionally flat - the opposite of exciting (or as exciting as a hen farting).

Unlike the Nebraska protagonist, Llewyn hasn't lost his mind, he has one, I just wasn't emotionally invested in it. He is another loser, and with a personality like his, he will carry on losing. Like his guitar he takes it wherever he goes so no surprise as he courts rejection for the duration. So, as I was saying, everyone's ugly, wears beige or black, the moggy who is orange lends a splash of colour to this otherwise monochrome film. If you go to the cinema, like me, for escapism, this film won't cut it for you. I don't think Llewyn smiles once. Not even ironically or from spite. No smiles here. I don't think anyone actually laughs or smiles in the whole film and that makes for a very dull film in my book. The whole experience was a curious one though (typical Coen Bros), I was bored and depressed for the most part but the music floored me with its beauty. If you're all grown up and miss your dope smoking days, you will be quietly reminded of that mellow high as the music in this film will stir that feeling in your soul but an emotionally moving film this is not.

The Wolf of Wall Street (2013)

Oh another orgy? Yawn.

[7/10 · 9 February 2014]

The film does go on a bit. I mean how many drug-fuelled orgies do I want to see in 2/3 hours? One or two would get the (depraved lifestyle) point across but you see a lot more than that. The shock factor wears off and seeing people having sex in an office setting ends up as just boring. You know Jordan is doing wrong but you can't dispute his energy and enthusiasm and what he achieves. And then you wonder if so much energy and enthusiasm is fuelled by living in a moral vacuum.

I left the cinema curiously energised and hating myself for having too many morals. I will never have a yacht with a helipad. I will always have debts. I probably won't ever have a Rolex and Chanel suits. I will never go to prison and hurt people though and I can sleep soundly at night.

Scorsese says this film doesn't glorify Jordan's lifestyle but he's a pretty remorseless character. When I Googled him - there he is in real life, living his new life, bragging about how he is a changed man but somehow I think it may be his (highly enchanting) sales patter that we are seeing rather than real feeling. Would a truly sorry person want to show his face to the camera if he realised how duplicitous he had been? Probably not.

This film is definitely worth watching though, just to see what Leo does with the character and he really does do a good job. I think it's an Oscar-worthy role for Leo. The film just goes on a bit too long with too many tacky scenes but I guess his life was tacky so what else could Scorsese show us? Leo is the best thing about this film. He nailed the character and in my opinion, he's one role closer to an Oscar.

Tower Heist (2011)

Some cunning stunts

[13 November 2011]

Ben Stiller + Eddie Murphy = a lot of belly laughs, right? Well, not exactly. In this film, Bent (yes, the 't' is intentional) Stiller + Eddie Murphy = an interesting cops and robbers movie with a few funny one-liners and quite a lot of suspense. Tower Heist is a bit slow in the funny department but what it lacks in belly laughs more than makes up for in the thrills department. Think Mission Impossible with comedians. Hard, I know but that's the best explanation I can give, and that is what sprung to mind when I saw our hapless burglars hanging off a high rise.

I shan't spoil the film for you by mentioning what happens when they decide to rob a penthouse suite of a white collar criminal but it is gripping and has it's funny moments. Listen out for the line "Like a gauntlet of lesbians." Boy that tickled. The stunts are absolutely cunning as is the criminal at the heart of it. And he's got a hell of a challenge with his nemesis, Ben Stiller on his tail. A hard film to categorise but a very enjoyable joy ride.

Green Zone (2010)

Political thriller with a theme of war

[6/10 · 12 March 2010]

In Green Zone, Matt Damon plays Miller, an honest soldier who realises that the search for weapons of mass destruction (WMD) in Iraq is futile. Because there are none. When he challenges his commanding officer on the intelligence that they've been given, he is told to "button it" in not too fine parlance.

But his integrity won't allow him to roll over and play dumb. He smells a rat and so he ends up playing a dangerous game of cat and mouse with Uncle Sam. This is very brave as Uncle Sam is represented by a stop-at-nothing oily intern, Clark Poundstone (Greg Kinnear) who is backed by The Mighty Bush. I wouldn't want to be Miller.

So, the film pitches the two men against each other. One man, honest and wholesome, and the other, a politician. A David meets Goliath (sort of) which is a bit different to the last time Matt and Greg worked together. In Stuck on You, they were conjoined twins who couldn't live without each other. In this film, they are two sides of the same coin: sharp, tenacious and convinced they are doing the right thing - but with diametrically opposed beliefs.

The credits tell us that the film is fictitious. But is it? It's now common knowledge that were no WMDs in Iraq when the West invaded so this film plays tribute to the real-life troops who risked and lost their lives there. All because a power-hungry dictator needed an excuse to police the area. It will be a difficult film to watch if you've been directly affected by the Iraqi war but it may also be a comfort that someone has bothered to document it, albeit from a fictitious soldier's viewpoint.

For the rest of us, this political thriller with a theme of war is quite an enjoyable way to spend a couple of hours. But you will have to tolerate the use of a hand-held camera that insists on cutting off Matt Damon's head during many shots. Plus, this type of camera work just can't keep up with running men which means a lot of scenes are blurred and this becomes annoying. But perhaps the most disappointing thing of all is that Matt Damon doesn't take his shirt off. Not even once. Now that really is annoying.

Little Voice (1998)

Little Voice: Big Talent

[9/10 · 7 March 2010]

This film could be entitled the meek and the mild v the vulgar and wild.

In one camp, you've got Little Voice (Jane Horrocks) and her 'friend', Billy, (Ewan McGregor), a thoroughly sweet pigeon breeder. Two shy characters who wouldn't say boo! to a goose. In the other camp - how do I put it? Well, if paint stripper could talk and sulphuric acid could walk, they would be Ray Say (Michael Caine) and Mari Hoff (Brenda Blethyn). Two contrasting camps and some very powerful performances.

Brenda Blethyn is monstrously good in this. So much so, it's painful to watch. She is so nasty, my heart sank as I realised this over the top and brilliant performance was not going to spare me. The first scene was shocking as I took in the appearance and demeanour of her character. She is the true embodiment of vulgarity: Fag Ash Lil meets Motor Mouth.

As her character develops, you realise there are no spiteful depths that she will not plummet to belittle and berate her daughter who is far more talented, beautiful and gentle than she could ever hope to be. Little Voice's talent awakens the envious beast that's inside her mother. It's no wonder LV doesn't speak a word.

Enter Ray Say, the small-time music manager who's chunky jewellery, flash car and underworld contacts can't hide the fact that he's one of life's losers. He never quite hit the big time. He's Delboy but without a sense of humour. And that's tragic. Like Mari, he tries to cover up his desperation but it seeps through the cracks like mud through broken concrete.

When Ray realises the range of talent that Little Voice casually displays, he can't contain his excitement. He soon realises that he'll have to put up with her mother if he's going to groom the star that's living under the same roof as her. But Mari doesn't take kindly to being second best to her daughter and the open display of vitriol that she unleashes on LV is nothing short of the vilest verbal abuse.

So that's it in a northern nutshell. Will Ray pluck LV out of obscurity? How will he do it? How much longer will he put up with Mari, the acid-tongued witch? A tongue with a life all of its own - when it's not lunging for Ray's throat, it's creating mayhem - two beasts, one woman. That in itself is a dilemma.

Caine's performance is nothing short of stunning. He makes sleazy look so easy. What can't he do? He is 'Red Hot Ray' with his tacky clothes and car. His expletive-ridden karaoke at the end of the film is raw and powerful and the most memorable part of the film: a goggle-eyed, seething, drunk desperado, the like I've never seen on film.

Jane Horrocks is wonderful. She is clearly a fantastic mimic and is able to capture perfectly the voices of Shirley Bassey, Marilyn Monroe and Judy Garland. Jim Broadbent is also fantastic (no surprises there) as the nightclub host. Ewan McGregor is the sweet shy love interest and plays it well. With a line up like this, it's hard for Little Voice to be anything other than brilliant. But, there's no question about it, no amount of perfect mimicry can outshine Blethyn and Caine in this film. It belongs to them. The casting director deserves a place in heaven for this pairing.

Beyond the Sea (2004)

Darin dazzles

[8/10 · 6 March 2010]

In 'Beyond the Sea' when Kevin Spacey first swaggers through the backstage of his show to reach the front of house, I was reminded of Frank Sinatra surrounded by his henchmen, And, when he pauses to sign an autograph, you just know that his easy manner can only have been carved out from some pretty miserable mileage - just like Sinatra's.

Kevin Spacey's Bobby Darin is one hundred per cent superstar, on and off stage, and his twinkling eyes burn like blazing torchlights throughout his entire performance. Spacey, the man, looks like he's having a blast whether crooning to his beloved audience or falling in love with the beautifully delicate, Sandra Dee (played by Kate Bosworth). It's all in the eyes with Spacey and they mock and they tease in equal measure. Never have I seen a pair of eyes so successfully pluck a face out of mediocrity.

As Spacey wrote, directed, co-produced and starred in this movie, it would be hard for it not to showcase his formidable talent. With more than a little artistic licence, he cleverly merges Bobby Darin the child with Bobby Darin the man and as the two connect, it makes for some stunning dance sequences. It is this that gives this film the edge over other music biopics. Brenda Blethyn plays Polly, his mother, and, as usual, you get the bountiful high spirits that she does so well. Bob Hoskins plays his loving brother-in-law and John Goodman, his manager. All of those in his social circle are larger than life, loyal and loving; in a lot of ways he is blessed.

This is a story of a man whose ambition burns just as bright as the glimmer in his eyes and as you watch him overcome a sickly childhood through his passion for music, you just know you are watching a man destined to overcome adversity -a true star in the making. Spacey's portrayal of Bobby Darin is sensational - you never feel sorry for him even though he has been told that he won't live beyond his sixteenth birthday - such is his upwardly mobile spirit. One of Spacey's finest performances if you ask me.

A Prophet (2009)

Should be renamed 'A Weasel'

[4/10 · 6 March 2010]

I'm going to start this review by saying something positive. The positives are important but there are only two.

Firstly, the casting director has cast the most authentic-looking actors in France. It's hard to believe that the actors in this film are not real prisoners doing hard time. Every fresh scene has an even uglier inmate than the last. If someone can be breathtaking in their ugliness, this lot manage it. That in itself is extraordinary. The casting director deserves an Oscar.

Another positive is this film is beautifully crafted. The cinematography is original and stunning and could rival Polanski for skill. But like many artistic films, the story does not equal the artistry. You need both for a truly special film.

For those of you who thought that the title tells a story of a man who is up against insurmountable odds but then somehow overcomes them and emerges into the light, you will be very disappointed. The film should be called 'A Weasel' because that is all the protagonist is. Fresh and youthful at the outset, the imagination goes into overdrive. What qualities does this man have? He will have to have cunning and guile to survive the prison system but there's got to be something else. I wanted to believe in this man. I wanted to like him, admire him, find anything redeemable about him. I was a naive fool.

It wasn't long before I realised that this man with all the potential of youth is as duplicitous and evil as the criminal underworld mafia boss who "adopts" him. He gels far too easily with the monsters he's surrounded by and becomes one of them. At first you think he's pretending but this is no pretence. Soon he's consumed by corruption. Even his smile becomes twisted. Hope over. Game over. My interest just flew out the door. A few hours in Pentonville would have been less depressing.

This is a grim slice of prison life. No more no less. The person who put the title to the film should be tried. I feel cheated. It's either that or I am hopelessly naive.

A Single Man (2009)

A poor man's 'American Beauty'

[5/10 · 21 February 2010]

This film is a meditation on melancholia - a painfully slow meditation at that. And like meditation, you may just want to get up and do something else after a while. Trapped in the silent stillness of grief, we watch as Colin Firth's character, Prof. George Falconer tries to remember how to breathe after the sudden loss of his long-term love. The hopeless desperation of his character is beyond miserable. A handsome cardboard cutout in a suit, he tries to assemble his sanity as the jaws of grief bite down.

Every single scene features George and therefore the film never moves away from the heavy grip on the emotions - turning mine into a kind of filmic flatline. I felt dead and empty for the duration.

Tiresome in its stylishness, the grainy scenes and ubiquitous monochrome of the decor and costumes become as dull as the subject. Grief is dull if prolonged, and in life as well as in film, it needs to be punctuated by something, anything, else. This film does not give you that much-needed reprieve from the horrid gloom; it never lets your feelings off the hook. At times, I felt as though I needed some breathing apparatus, at others, I was bored.

Julianne Moore is brilliant. A strange mix of vulgar vulnerability; a true paper rose fading into the night clutching her beloved bedfellow: a near-empty gin bottle. You can almost smell her desperation. Colin Firth's performance is average; he's reserved and English. Save for a subtle mincing run along the beach, he is just being... well... Colin Firth. But with a stylish haircut and strange glasses.

To sum up, a poor man's 'American Beauty' for this decade. 'A Single Man' doesn't have half the character of Sam Mendes' masterpiece, however. In that film, the desperation kind of unfolds so it's much easier to stomach. This film is concentrated on one man and one problem. In a nutshell, too miserable to be memorable.

The Bucket List (2007)

Keep the Kleenex handy

[5/10 · 12 November 2009]

When Morgan Freeman narrates - as he does in this film - I hear a caramelized melody of smooth jazz played by cherubs on a base of scorched leather. You could say listening to him is my kind of meditation. When I hear Jack Nicholson's voice, I smell the lust of a thousand rogues stomping on the cotton-wool bed of women's dreams; his come-hither eyes arrest and alarm beneath their wicked hoods. A vulnerable place to be. You could say that this film celebrates their differences and conveniently casts them at two ends of the personality spectrum.

In 'The Bucket List', Morgan Freeman plays Carter Chambers, a noble hard-working family man who is diagnosed with cancer. Jack Nicholson's character, Edward Cole is a brilliant yet lonely billionaire who is also diagnosed with cancer. Their unlikely paths cross when Edward is forced to share a hospital room with Carter to prove to the public that even the chief executive of the hospital believes in sharing rooms (yes, he owns the hospital).

It's clearly resentment at first sight for Edward but he is persuaded by his PR puppy that he has to share for the sake of his public image. After a few frosty exchanges, Edward warms to Carter's patient, intelligent persona and Carter warms to Ed's money. He doesn't care much for his ego exclaiming at one point "I've had deeper baths than you" which sums Edward up quite well. Because of their uncertain futures, the pair bond quite quickly and go on a whirlwind trip around the globe fulfilling all their fantasies before the hand of time stops ticking: so far so unlikely.

Although the plot is implausible, it is watchable as it is a touching tale about achieving your dreams and making amends before it's too late. It is also a tale of how the most unlikely people can influence you at important times of your life and a stubborn heart can change under unusual circumstances. The story moved a little bit too fast for me and assumes a deep bond between the two that frankly isn't there (they've only known each other a matter of months).

Although a bit saccharine at times, especially between Carter and his wife, it is intriguing how the story unfolds and Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman work well together - their collective charm and chemistry making up for an, at times, over-sentimental story.

Although this film falls into the genre of comedy, I would think twice if you want a belly laugh as this isn't one. It would be more accurately described as a black comedy and, although there are a lot of laughs, it's undeniably about loss. Twenty minutes into the film, a lump had appeared in my throat and half an hour in and I was sobbing like a baby, but then I'm a right old softie. To sum up, a morbid tale with a light touch. Keep the Kleenex handy.

Is Anybody There? (2008)

Caine at his most able

[10/10 · 12 November 2009]

I heard this film was moving so I prepared myself for some spillage. Within ten minutes, I was teary - not hose-pipe teary - but I became aware that the tap of emotion was being slowly turned on by the gentle yet persistent hand of pathos. It was during the second scene, when Michael Caine's eyes spewed forth the wretchedness of despair like an urn pours forth water, that I realised that this performance was Caine at his most able; I fumbled for my hanky and decided to ignore the prickle of anguish just for the privilege of seeing his performance.

If Michael Caine was a piece of jewellery, he would be a 24-carat-gold antique ring encrusted with rubies, diamonds, sapphires and emeralds; each element perfectly contrasting with its neighbour; a unique mixture of the most precious and luminous stones; never losing their appeal yet probably taken a bit for granted; and only really appreciated by few.

In this role, the subtle yet overwhelming brilliance of Caine's portrayal of a man suffering with dementia allows all the dimensions of his talent to shine. This film is the jeweller and his cloth, and Caine is the multi-talented gemstone, in all his mournful glory, at the heart of it.

There's no denying that the story is grim. The characters are sad; there is death, decay and dementia in equal measure. It is a bleak yet compelling landscape. The background to the landscape is equally dreary. It's the 80s in an unremarkable backwater outside Hull; the weather is dull; 90 per cent of the film is set in an old people's home; our protagonist has dementia; and his best friend is obsessed with the afterlife (to the extent of recording the dying wheezes of the clients). Not really a crowd pleaser, eh? But believe it or not, this film has a lot of humour running through it. Okay, so it's blacker than Newgate's knocker but it's there in spades. Caine's best mate, Edward, a 10-year-old oddball is as compelling to watch as His Majesty as his hose-pipe gets turned on more than once, and very effectively indeed. He sensitively portrays a maudlin misfit not that dissimilar to the talent bud, Nicholas Hoult's Marcus in 'About a Boy'.

This film is a really great example of British film-making at its finest - a good script and fine talent - nothing more nothing less. It is also a great reminder that a low budget does not mean you have to compromise on enjoyment. With this film, you get two superb beacons of light radiating out from a good support cast and a true-to-life story about the reality of old age and all the regret that can accompany it. Powerful stuff.

The Invention of Lying (2009)

Ricky Removes His Mask

[7/10 · 12 November 2009]

Can you imagine Ricky Gervais crying tenderly at the side of a dying woman, comforting her in her final hours? No, neither could I. But he does. And he does it rather splendidly too. Not only did he co-write this unusual script but he co-produced and co-directed it too; David Bowie's Chubby Little Loser is anything but. There isn't even a hint of the obnoxious office manager in this charming film.

The Invention of Lying isn't so much a romantic comedy, more of 'a strangely mellow drama with a bit of philosophy - oh, and that all important ending'. Not sure if there is such a genre but let's just say it oozes quirk. The whole premise is that there is one man who discovers he has the ability to tell porkie pies in a world of people who tell the truth - and expect to hear it - the concept of lying is not understood. I know this sounds like Nirvana but half an hour into the film, telling the truth sounds plain nasty and expecting the truth sounds naive but I'm a jaded cynic so what would I know? So, Ricky, the liar, who you could say is a bit like a sex toy salesman turning up at a born-again Christian convention, manages to exploit his situation more than once - sometimes for good but often for self-serving purposes. Before you can say "I know the computers are down but I really do have $800 in my bank account," Ricky becomes rich and famous. He tells the world that there is life after death and writes the new concept of religion on the back of two pizza boxes.

Like Moses gathering the masses, he tells the world not to do bad things or 'The Man in the Sky' won't like it. Instant fame. But not long after world domination, he realises that he can't really live up to the image that he has cultivated and the true happiness he seeks is right under his snub little nose. Enter the genetically perfect Jennifer Garner.

Jennifer's character has all the expectations of a woman who hails from a perfect genetic pool. She is looking for a perfect match and Ricky Gervais, although sweet and funny, certainly does not cut the low-fat mustard. As she struggles with her wired need to procreate with a perfect male (enter Rob Lowe), she can't help but feel attracted to Ricky, with his boundless wit and 'unusual take on life'.

As the film progresses, you realise that he is a true misfit. And he plays it beautifully. Of course, there are references to his physique, he loves sending himself up. And in this vehicle especially as he's playing the romantic lead to such a pretty woman, his insecurities come out more than ever.

In this 'perfect world' where everyone tells the truth, it's not so much fun for someone like him who isn't physically perfect. It's not unusual for him to hear jibes about his appearance which isn't comedy in my opinion. There are two scenes where he cries and he shows us some truly raw talent. He has clearly thrown off his clown mantle and it's like seeing Coco the Clown without his make up and realising he is much more beautiful without it.

Chris English, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Steve Merchant, Ed Norton (of all people) and even Barry from Eastenders all pop up to add spice to this rather eccentric comedy soup. "I want little fat kids with snub noses," is possibly the most romantic line you'll hear this year. I think there's much more to come from Ricky Gervais. Bring it on is what I say.

Creation (I) (2009)

No Lightning. No Thunder. No Wonder. No Awe.

[3/10 · 12 November 2009]

I wish I could tell you that this film is as exciting as the theories it espouses. But I can't. Another species could have come and mutated while I waited for some action. For such a controversial man, Darwin lived the most conventional life. If you didn't know about the mad theories, you could almost mistake him for a stamp collector.

The film-makers have cast Darwin as a dullard which does him a disservice. Even when he briefly loses his mind due to his tireless theorising, it wasn't interesting to watch. Maybe great thinkers are dull people? I don't know what I was expecting: a forehead-banging eccentric with wild hair and eyes espousing his love of all things simian, the glint of madness straining from a furrowed brow? A long-haired hermit who babbled to animals? A head-cradling lunatic with eyes lit up like beacons of truth? All of the above would have been great. This is the movies for Scorsese's sake.

But there was none of that. No lightning, no thunder, no wonder, no awe. Just Paul Bettany and Jennifer Connelly fresh from the Subtle as Breath School of Method Acting. I imagine that someone with Darwin's ideas had a brain like a speeding train so why did this film just pootle along - chug chug chug - like a slow winter? The disappointment is immeasurable.

The Men Who Stare at Goats (2009)

Trippy, Hippy and very Dippy

[6/10 · 7 November 2009]

This film is one hippy dippy trip. The train leaves from Optimism Junction; journeying full steam ahead through Laughter Lane; then it chugs along comfortably through Madcap Mount. You will be awestruck at the scenery but after about an hour you'll stall at Boredom Boulevard and be held there for a bit too long. You will then pootle along Bizarre Broadway and all of a sudden you'll be launched to the ultimate destination, Unexpected Parkway. Your trip is now complete: you have just watched 'The Men Who Stare at Goats'.

Okay, so it's got its good points: George Clooney, Ewan McGregor and Jeff Bridges to name a few. The chemistry between them works very well. McGregor plays Bob Wilton, a hapless journalist who is trying to prove to his estranged wife that he's not a loser. George Clooney plays Lyn Cassady, an ex-soldier on a secret mission to Iraq. Lyn has psychic powers and has devoured new age philosophy as if his life depended on it. Jeff Bridges is Bill Django, the ultimate guru who trains the soldiers in all things mystic.

So Bob tags on to Lyn in pursuit of a hot story and winds up in Iraq with one deluded dude. The realisation of this is rammed home when they are kidnapped by Al-Qaeda terrorists and Lyn suggests astral flight as a means of escape. Earth to loony Clooney. However, Bob does end up writing about the New Earth Army soldiers who drink wheatgrass for breakfast, meditate at lunchtime and pick up sacks with unusual parts of their body come nightfall. It's all a bit surreal. The kookiness climaxes when Lyn demonstrates that he can kill a goat just by an intense stare from those night-time eyes. I can think of worse ways to go.

Jeff Bridges has never looked so becoming even though he is sporting a long blonde plait that would make a German hausfrau proud. His anthem Earth Prayer is a really catchy number and delivered with such panache: "Mother Earth… my life support system… as a soldier… I must drink your blue water… live inside your red clay and eat your green skin." Eat your green skin? I hope Princess Fiona isn't listening.

Kevin Spacey plays Larry Hooper who's also a psychic soldier but a mean one. It's an interesting turn for Spacey who doesn't get much screen time but he's not known for nasty roles and isn't very convincing as a meanie. No amount of glaring can harden his soft face but I can see why he took the role.

All in all, this film's a bit difficult to pigeon-hole. If you crossed Ansel Adams with a whole lot of silliness, this is what you would get. It has beautiful cinematography; sophisticated camera work; and beautiful shots of the desert. It's so stylish, you almost expect Lawrence of Arabia to charge across the dunes. Instead you get Lyn and Bob bickering about the joys of soya: new age nutter meets hacked-off hack. The friction between the two main characters works but the plot is just a wee bit dull in the middle. Overall, the expression 'mad as a box of (organic) frogs' springs to mind.

Julie & Julia (2009)

Charming Child

[7/10 · 25 October 2009]

What do you get if you blend Clarissa Dickson Wright, The Swedish Chef from The Muppet Show and a healthy dollop of joie de vivre? One Julia Child, the mildly eccentric cook played beautifully by Meryl Streep, the Chameleonic Queen of the Camera.

This film is as much about the pitfalls and perils of publishing as it is about two women who just love to cook. One woman, a bored American housewife living in France, and another, a young woman also married but living a couple of generations away in humble Queens, New York. Two worlds apart, in time and space, but the film binds the two women together as easily as an egg binds flour.

Julie Powell (Amy Adams) sets herself the challenge of cooking the entire contents of Julia's popular book, 'Mastering the Art of French Cooking' over the course of a year. With a full-time job and a husband it is quite a challenging task yet it serves as a welcome antidote to her stressful job. She clearly finds solace in the kitchen as she chases the blues away with a rolling pin and a pot of Boeuf Bourguignon. She decides to blog about her experience and soon she has quite a following.

Part comedy, part costume drama, we see frequent flashbacks to Julia Child's life and the scenery and costumes are wonderful. The film reveals how Julia rose to fame and it makes for interesting viewing. Julia Child had such a presence and clearly a good heart lighting up the lives of those around her. The warmth and joy pour out of her like garlic and butter pour out of a plate of escargots. She is a joy to watch. Two-and-a-half hours in Julia Child's company will make you feel like you've been rolled in honey and dusted in sugar: a very sweet experience.