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Reviews
Date Movie (2006)
yuck
After seeing "Not Another Teen Movie" I was quite into the whole parody genre. This has completely put me off. I got to the cinema and the only people there were a few old perv*rts and one couple. Slightly worrying. From the first 5 minutes of the film I knew I wasn't going to enjoy it. I sat back into my chair preparing myself for complete boredom. The hopeless gags seemed to go on for eternity and I felt myself getting more and more p*ssed off. Thankfully about two thirds of the way through the film the screen projector broke so me and my friends took this as a perfect opportunity to leg it. I'm just glad that I didn't have to endure the rest of the film. There was nothing willing me to stay. I couldn't have cared LESS what happened at the end of this pathetic movie. I just feel sorry for the other thousands of people who had to sit through this torture and feel the need to tell others. There are already lots of comments saying how blatantly awful this film was. Just in case the message hasn't got through yet.
DON'T SEE IT!!!!!!
White Chicks (2004)
fabulous!
"Omg, she's gonna have a bf!.. What's a bf? BITCH FIT! AHHHHHH" I think me and my friends will be quoting this film for a very long time. I'm not sure why this film has created such a great deal of controversy when really you should've known what you were getting yourself into before you watched it. Let me just stand up and say that I am white and was not offended by it in the slightest. In fact I found it hilariously funny- not really making fun of me but mostly of women in general and upper class celeb Americans (a subject which never ceases to entertain me!).
I didn't think that the plot was weak at all. As in most comedies, the plot is not really that important. Gaining a few cheap laughs is much more important! The toilet humour wasn't funny- it must be admitted but the concept of two black dudes dressing up as white chicks was hilarious. Tiffany and Brittany, I love you both!
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005)
speechless (well, not quite)
Ahem, where do I start? When seeing this movie the first thing that struck me was the "exciting" music at the beginning which reminded me a bit of Harry Potter. The opening scene was absolutely riveting, showing the wrapping of bars of chocolate. I almost fell off my sit because I was so intrigued. The beginning of the film surpassed itself in making us realize by about 2 minutes of it that it was going to be absolutely dreadful. The real fun began when we met Willy Wonka. I won't say who he reminded me of.. anyone who's seen the film would know and I don't want to spoil the pleasant surprise for those of you who haven't yet had the honour. The oompaloompa dances were possibly the worst things I have ever seen. Who choreographed them?! I want to meet this insane idiot! It literally made me want to puke. They had an eerie kind of synchronization which was so unnatural that it was scary. I admit to finding the first dance slightly amusing but by the time I'd got to the 4th I was just staring at the screen in disgust.
Words of warning: Don't go and see this sad excuse for entertainment. See the original!!
Ray (2004)
quality
This is what I like to call "a good film". It is terrible to have to tell you this, but in an era such as this, not many good films are available to see. This one definitely qualifies for the Oscars and it is possibly one of the best films I've seen this year. It was so convincing that in some places I was almost crying. It was something that is so sad that you can't help feeling like there is no hope in the world. But then when things turn out to be OK, you feel a kind of satisfaction, a feeling of happiness because you know that in any situation, there is always a way out. To the point... This film is so... real. It all seems real. Jamie Foxx was brilliant at playing the part of Ray and I don't think that anyone would've done it better. The music was fabulous, the acting was great, it was entertaining.. What can I say? Words cannot describe how good it is.
Meet the Fockers (2004)
ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! humbug
You could hardly call this film a comedy. Just a bunch of people making absolute fools of themselves. When I went to see this I just about died of boredom. It is simply not funny! There was absolutely nothing hilarious about the guy's mum being a sex therapist.. There was nothing funny about a kid saying ass hole. Come to think of it, there was nothing funny about it full stop. I am fed up of seeing films which are not only trash as far as film making is concerned but destroy the purpose of going to the cinema. "Now what is the purpose?" I hear you ask.. That, my dears is something that if you do not know now, will find out in the future years to come. In my mind the purpose is to be entertained but Hollywood doesn't seem to think like that. I sincerely hope that no more people will go and see this sad excuse for a film.
Sideways (2004)
what a brilliant film!
This is one of the greatest films I have ever seen. I'm not interested in wine and I thought the whole thing would be quite slow paced and not at all funny. It seemed like more of a middle aged person's film from what I had heard about it. How wrong could I get? The characters are believable, it's funny and it's unpredictable. What more could you ask for? What I really like about it is that it is a change from all of those commercialised Hollywood productions. For once I felt like the situation was real and that everything in the film was actually possible and it's the kind of thing that is perfectly realistic. I hope that people won't just look at it and think "Well, I'm not interested in wine so this film is not for me" because it is so much more than that.
Shark Tale (2004)
good
I actually went to see this when I was on holiday in Lyon and unfortunately it was in French so I didn't understand the majority of it. My French teacher suggested that I should see it to improve my French. So basically there's not much point in you reading this comment anyway. But still.. I did think that it was better than Finding Nemo.
It has a much better story-line and I did laugh out loud at some of the things. My favourite character was the vegetarian shark :) If you liked Finding Nemo then you'll probably enjoy Shark Tale. Even though the plot is different they are the same kind of idea. Animated sea creatures.. quite sweet really. It's an excellent family film.
Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)
beyond understanding
Why anyone made this film is completely beyond the edge of reason. I was absolutely fuming when I came out of the cinema and was desperate to give those robbing b*****ds a good spanking for making me pay TEN EUROS! to see a film which just blew me off the hook... and onto the sharp edge of my temper. Ooooo, how dare they make a really good and entertaining film and then con us into thinking that the second one would be just as good. Robbery. Absolute robbery. I am a huge fan of romantic comedies but this one was just...(what's the word?) terrible. Please don't see this film. I'm begging you. You will regret it for the rest of your life. I think I'll give this film a generous 2 out of 10 because I am in a kind and caring mood.
Ocean's Twelve (2004)
just a wee bit confused
After I had already seen Ocean's 11 and enjoyed it, being the stupid idiot I am, I decided to go and see the sequel. I know what they say.. the sequel is always 100 times worse than the first one but ya know, nothing else seemed to be on so I went to see it with a bunch of my girlfriends. Funny thing is that the plot seemed all wonderful and elaborate but when you really think about it, what was actually going on? None of it really makes sense to me. That thing with the egg... that was just so confusing. Well I didn't understand what was going on, but maybe I was just too busy throwing popcorn at people (teehhe), maybe that gives you a clue as to how much entertainment value this film actually gives you. I give it a 5 out of 10. It wasn't too bad but I preferred Ocean's 11
Troy (2004)
win a prize..
This is one of those "fall asleep and get a prize-you won't have to watch it" films. So so so so so so boring! I don't know what I was doing watching it.For the majority of it I sat and twiddled my thumbs. This is because I didn't like the plot. It wasn't funny, it wasn't thoughtful, it wasn't in any way interesting, it meant absolutely nothing. All it was was sex and fighting. It just bored me to death. Do yourself a favour and don't watch it! If you fancy Orlando Bloom or Brad Pitt then you should go and see it. There are lots of sex scenes etc and they spend a lot of the time on the screen. But everyone else should just stay at home or go and see something that is actually funny or in the slightest bit interesting.
Van Helsing (2004)
funny but truly awful
I have to say that I thought this film was absolute rubbish. This is because it was all so exaggerated.. I thought it was going to be a scary/horror type of film but it wasn't. There was no suspense, no horror, just nothing to make you feel scared at all. Nothing like what I expected.
On the plus side I was laughing all the way through it cos of how corny and ridiculous it was. I was laughing so much I was crying, but in a good way.
If you go and see this film then don't expect anything thought provoking, scary or constructive in any way. Just expect to have a good laugh at things which I am sure were not intentionally funny. Or if you're not in a funny mood then you'll probably be reaaallly bored
The Incredibles (2004)
don't get me started
Am I missing something? Is there some private joke that has some how passed me by? How did this film get such a high rating? My questions of utter disbelief and confusion just keep on coming. I'm afraid that this film has to get a huge thumbs down from me. It did nothing for me. Absolutely nothing. I didn't find ANY of it funny.. There was not a single laugh out loud moment for me in the whole film. Was I in the wrong mood? Was I being a bit... disrespectful because I couldn't summon the will or energy to laugh? I don't think so. I think films like these should just be thrown in the gutter and forgotten about. And I mean there was nothing memorable about the whole thing anyway. I don't think I could even tell you what the plot was if I tried. All that I can think of is- "Family of weird super heroes try to save the world". I think by the time that anything else had been established I had already fallen asleep. Zzzzzzzzz *snore* Zzzzzzzzzzzz
Mean Girls (2004)
Brilliant!!
Anyone who thinks this is just one of those boring chick flicks with a boring and pointless plot, are you sure you've got the right film? I don't think that anyone in their right mind could say that this is a bad film. It might not appeal to some of the male population but apart from them, it is the kind of film that anyone would have to admit is funny. I have never been to an American school so I don't know whether the stereotypes used were 100% realistic but I found that some of the situations and groups of people were easy to relate to and they are not falsely criticized. The idea of having "the plastics" is really good and the fact that they think that everyone likes them and that everyone wants to be like them but the fact is that they are the most hated people in the school is pretty realistic.
It was a fun film to watch. One of those ones that are good to snuggle up to with a bunch of your girl friends on a Friday night.
Plots with a View (2002)
Very Enjoyable
I think this movie deserves a 10 out of 10 because it is hilariously funny from start to finish. The plot is simple and straight forward but it keeps you watching and there are so many laughs that you really start to love it. When I went to see this movie I hadn't heard much about it and I didn't know what to expect. I thought it was going to be an old ladies' type of film like Calendar Girls or something but it took me completely by surprise. Even though I am still a teenager and the film was probably not directed at my age group, I still found it excellent and I think that people of all age groups would like it. I think it is a shame that it is not at all famous and it deserves more publicity so that more people will go and see it and realize what a great movie it is.