Heather Vandergeld: Look who just flew in from the slums of Beverly Hills.
Megan Vandergeld: It's the Beverly Ho-Billies.
Marcus Copeland: [as Tiffany Wilson] Squeeze me?
Kevin Copeland: [as Brittany Wilson] Oh, no, you didn't?
Marcus Copeland: [as Tiffany Wilson] I'm sorry, but um... we just saw your new video. Yeah, they had a screening over at Saks Fifth Avenue in the security office
[laughs]
Marcus Copeland: A klept-ho-maniac!
[laughs]
Megan Vandergeld: [arrogantly] Your mother shops at Saks.
Marcus Copeland: [indignantly]
[as Tiffany Wilson]
Marcus Copeland: What?
[the Vandergeld Sisters proudly do siss-fingers]
Kevin Copeland: [as Brittany Wilson] Oh, my God. You want to talk about mothers? You wanna talk about mothers! It's mother time, OK?Your mother's so dumb she went to Dr Dre for a Pap smear! "Something's wrong, Dr Dre! My coochie's doing a beatbox!"
Heather Vandergeld: Well, yeah? Your mother's so stupid she exercises when she could just get, like, liposuction or something!
Marcus Copeland: [as Tiffany Wilson] Your mother's so old that her breast milk is powdered. You breast-feed like this:
[blows powder from hand, and everyone laughs]
Heather Vandergeld: Your mother is so, like... She's so...
[to Megan]
Heather Vandergeld: Megan, you go!
Megan Vandergeld: Your mother is so stupid that she goes to Barney's Rooftop Deck Restaurant for lunch and orders a niçoise salad and calls it a 'ni-coise' salad. 'Ni-coise' salad, right?
Marcus Copeland: [as Tiffany Wilson] Your mother's ass is so hairy, it looks like Don King's about to pop out and say, "Only in America!"
