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Reviews
Survivor (2015)
far-fetched piece of nonsense
what a horrible, unrealistic movie...
So Pierce is supposed to be The Watchmaker, one of the top assassins in the world, BUT it's just toooooo hard to catch Milla, a worker in the embassy issuing visas lmao...
of course all the British cops, NYPD, and the US Marines are retarded and can't catch her either...but then again cops all over the world are portrayed in every movie as idiots and can never catch anyone...
Personally I didn't know that Pierce was playing a bad guy in this movie otherwise I might not have watched it... I prefer him playing the hero since I think he is much more suited in that role than as the antagonist... still that wasn't the reason why I rooted for Pierce to kill Milla throughout the movie. It's that Pierce Brosnan and Dylan Mcdermott were the only 2 believable, or even likable, characters in this movie...
I only felt bad for her coworkers who were killed in the beginning of the movie in the restaurant, but, never once, did I feel bad for Milla's character.. She was practically Jason Bourne in this movie anyways... Never mind that she doesn't have any sort of training or background in this movie to make that even remotely believable in the storyline...
The fight near the end of the movie is, of course, once again, ridiculous... Pierce Brosnan, as the Watchmaker, one of the most wanted assassins in the world, couldn't beat Milla in a 1 on 1 physical combat... I mean why should he win? He's only the top assassin while she is a super embassy worker....
so yeah the movie can be described in pretty much one word...
"WHATEVER"
Ex Machina (2014)
ending will leave a bad taste in your mouth...
The movie, although well directed and acted, was admittedly very slow to progress. The pacing is very slow and will leave a lot of fans restless and, maybe, even bored. Still, I thought it was a good movie since it developed Ava and Caleb's personalities with that slow pacing.
There were parts of the movie which at first seemed to make no sense. I wasn't even sure what the point of the Japanese girl was to the movie. However, I guessed early on that she would also be a robot and still couldn't find a reason for her inclusion. Maybe they just wanted to make the cast at least 4 people?
There were many special effects dealing with Ava which were visually beautiful. I especially thought the part near the end when she "humanized" her appearance was incredibly well done. It seemed they went out of their way to try to garner the audience's affection and sympathy for Ava. It also seemed like they really wanted the audience to root for Ava and Caleb as a couple as well.
This leads me to the reason why I ended up not liking the movie despite all its good points. I guess I should blame the writer for the ending. It just made no sense to me why they would spend all that time trying to make the audience feel for Ava and urge her on with Caleb to escape together. I mean what was the point if you're going to turn her into a total cold bitch in the end. She does a 180 and leaves Caleb trapped in the bunker/complex and leaves by herself. Like I said, it makes absolutely no sense. I ended up hating Ava and feeling sorry for Caleb. I also ended up hating the movie and felt like I wasted 2 hours watching all that development for nothing. I don't know if the writer and director were trying to make a statement about what it means to be human or whatever. However, if that was the goal then they failed miserably, and the movie just came off as stupid. I have a feeling I will not be in the minority regarding this ending.
SO, a great job in messing up 2 hours of great development in less than 5 minutes in the end. I doubt you will be receiving any nominations for any awards, and I doubt you will do well in the box office as well. I still can't understand the horrible decision at the end....Pity
Jupiter Ascending (2015)
WTF was that?...
**only one spoiler at the end of the review (and not much of one in my opinion)**
Seriously, WTF was that? I must have gone into this movie with way too much expectation. I don't see how I could possibly have been more disappointed. The screenplay was CRAP. The acting was CRAP. Only redeeming feature was the cinematography and maybe the premise. Next time, maybe they should take some of that big budget and spend it on writing camp for the screenwriters and acting camp for the actors...
Mila Kunis' portrayal of Jupiter Jones was asinine and apathetic at best. I've seen better acting in high school plays honestly. At best, she manages to annoy you. At worst, it made you yearn for the good old days of "That 70's Show" which was an Oscar performance compared to this one. I found it hard to sympathize with her character at all throughout the movie.
Channing Tatum's portrayal of Caine West was equally lifeless, but, in Tatum's defense, it is Channing Tatum. Although he has made some action films which weren't too bad since they were action films, such as White House Down and the GI Joe films, he's best known for Magic Mike. 'Nuff said. It's not like you were expecting him to have a breakout performance.
However, even amidst all this poor acting, the award for the worst actor has to go to Eddie Redmayne for his portrayal of Belam Abraxas. I literally cringed at every scene when Belam was on screen. Over-act much? This was not the right movie for him, and it was painfully obvious. It's The Theory of Everything not the Actor of Everything, Redmayne. Please stick to what you know and find a new agent ASAP.
The movie itself was so poorly scripted, I won't even bother to go into details. You watch it at your own expense. However, as promised, I will mention one spoiler, a scene at the end which particularly annoyed me amidst all the bounty of annoyances in this movie. Jupiter, after experiencing everything and knowing that she now owns Earth, has joyfully gone back to cleaning toilets and cleaning other people's houses. Of course... why not? No need to start making any sense at the end of the movie when the whole movie up to that point made no damn sense. Then, of course, she must take off on the magic roller skates courtesy of magic mike. Those magic roller skates were another high point of this movie by the way. SO...what are you waiting for? GO WATCH THIS GEM RIGHT NOW!!!....
Intruders (2014)
huh?...
I am writing this review after just having watched episode 1, and I must admit to being totally confused. I know it's a pilot, but it should leave you with SOME sense of what the plot will be moving ahead. In the beginning, I thought it was going in one direction. By the middle of the episode, I thought it could be going in at least 4 different directions. By the end of episode one, i have no idea where it's going at all. I'm hoping it will start to make some sense as the show progresses, but, honestly, I'm not holding my breath. Maybe they thought that people's interests will be peaked by giving them such a vague premise? Lucky for them (but not so lucky for me), my OCD will make me watch the entire series no matter how bad it gets. So, I really hope it starts to make sense and gets better...
The Wolf of Wall Street (2013)
Stupid... Based on real events or not, doesn't matter...
I know it was based on a real person but i'm sure there must have been healthy amounts of literary licensing taking place. It was just overdone and STUPID STUPID STUPID. literally made me want to kill Dicaprio's entire team. Literally. It was just that dumb. I was really disappointed since I was expecting a good movie. I'M surprised this got good reviews from the critics but what the hell do they know. Back then I wondered why this movie didn't receive any Oscars when it had such high reviews and acclaim. But i guess now I know why. This was more like watching Animal House on Wall Street than anything else. So WHACK! I couldn't believe how disappointed I was in both Dicaprio and Scorsese
Revenge (2011)
loved it at first...
I'll admit I was hooked on this show at first. I loved the whole idea of revenge to avenge her father's death. I loved Emily vancamp's character and rooted for her. However, as the show progressed I found it harder and harder to root for her. She just became really unlikable to me. There were a few situations which I thought were ridiculous, but I won't get into that since spoilers are just evil. I don't know...maybe it's just me. Currently I am up to episode 13. I believe I will continue to watch it and still give it 10 stars because I like many of the other characters. Wird that I find myself liking almost everyone EXCEPT the protagonist lol....go figure