giovannibermudezjr Reviews

A Star Is Born (2018)

Two Paws Up

[9/10 · 2 November 2018]

A Star is Born is an amazing musical drama. This is the best acting I've seen from Rocket Raccoon & Mother Monster. The entire cast is great, and everyone brings their all. If you're up on your Gaga Lore you'll notice the movie is very autobiographical, from the Gay Bars, the nose, to the Pop songs, the Italian father, even the relationship troubles. The Soundtrack is Superb, and you'll be humming these songs for days. You'll laugh. You'll ugly cry. Stay for the end-credits songs by Lady Gaga & Jackson Maine. I give this Monster Ball a "Two Paws Way Up" rating.

#AStarisBorn #RatedR #GioseesMovies #AMCALIST #MoviePass

Operation Finale (2018)

Shaken, Not Stirred

[8/10 · 4 September 2018]

OPERATION FINALE is a great Historical Spy Thriller. It is based on the real life Israeli Mossad mission to capture the Nazi officer Adolf Eichmann, 15 years after World War II. Oscar Isaac and Ben Kingsley's back & forth are a Highlight. Though light on action, it has good espionage & intrigue. Like many war movies, there are some disturbing scenes & language. A few fun jokes are sprinkled in to help relieve the black-ops tension. Entertains you, yet leaves you pensive about a great many things: the violent nature of man, the effects of World Wars, do two wrongs ever make a right? There is a brief Epilogue before the credits showing you the real Malkin & Eichmann. I give this cloak-and-dagger a Solid, "Shaken, Not Stirred" rating.

#OperationFinale #RatedPG13 #GioseesMovies

Papillon (I) (2017)

Butterfly in the Sky, I Can Fly TWICE as High

[8/10 · 31 August 2018]

PAPILLON is a great story of hope, friendship, & survival. See Charlie Hunnam and Rami Malek as you've never seen them before, as they transformation into the frail, yet unbeatable, Henri "Papillon" Charrier and his friend Louis Dega. Based on the memoir of the real 1930's safe-cracker, Hunnam is framed for murder and forced to live out his days in the heinous conditions of a French Guainan labor camp. There is little to laugh about in this prison. The fights are visceral and brutal. The only glimmer of hope throughout is Papillon and Degas' friendship, as it grows while they struggle to stay alive and sane as forgotten men in the pits of Hell. You'll leave this one feeling inspired by the human spirit, and happy in the knowledge that nothing you are currently experiencing is as bad as what these two poor souls had to endure. There is a brief Epilogue before the credits showing you the real Papillon. I give this struggle a Solid, "Butterfly in the Sky, I Can Fly TWICE as High", rating. #Papillion #GioseesMovies #RatedR

The Happytime Murders (2018)

Suckit, Big Bird

[6/10 · 29 August 2018]

THE HAPPYTIME MURDERS is a silly buddy-cop, film-noir, puppet-porno. If Jim Henson's son doing naughty things to his father's toys is your thing, this is the comedy for you. The jokes range from mildy funny to "What the Hell did I just"... Not for the squeamish, there are several instances of explicit puppet on puppet/human action that will make you laugh as much as cringe. The mystery is intriguing, yet predictable. At first entertaining, the constant foul language does eventually become tiring. "I get it. Your puppets cuss." You leave having had some chuckles, but maybe in need of a good, hard bath. There is a fun behind-the-scenes, mid-credits blooper reel. The cast appears to have had more fun making it than you might have watching it. I give this a Solid, "Suckit, Big Bird" rating.

#TheHappyTimeMurders #GioseesMovies #RatedR

Dog Days (I) (2018)

HI PUPPIE!

[8/10 · 24 August 2018]

DOG DAYS was very good, but geared toward the "dog lover". It makes you laugh, it makes you cry. The jokes are cheesy, but funny. The serious moments get you Right in The FEELS. It's sweet and leaves you feeling warm and fuzzy inside. Stay for the Mid-Credits blooper reel. I give this a Loud "HI PUPPIIIEEE!" rating. #DogDays #RatedPG #GioseesMovies

Mile 22 (2018)

What Ever Happened to the Funky Bunch?

[5/10 · 24 August 2018]

MILE 22 is a watchable action flick. Despite its all-star cast, this is one were the trailers are better than the sum of its parts. No jokes, this one takes itself very seriously. The fight scenes are bloody and brutal, yet poorly edited, and it can be difficult at times to tell who's getting hit by whom and why. The plot is mildly intriguing, but the twist ending can either make or break this one for you. It leaves too many loose threads up in the air, possibly hoping to tie them up in a sequel that may never get made, so you basically leave the theater confused and dissatisfied. There are no mid or end credits scenes. I give this mission an "I Wonder What Ever Happened to the Funky Bunch" rating.

#Mile22 #RatedR #GioseesMovies

Alpha (II) (2018)

Wonder if Natty Gann Woulda Survived This?

[7/10 · 22 August 2018]

ALPHA is a good Prehistoric survival & coming of age tale. The setting is gorgeous, with scenes near the edge of a massive cliff, & an expansive mountain range that will make your jaw drop. It's worthy of the 3D/IMAX upgrade, to truely get that hanging off the edge of the world feeling. Slowly paced, you may need a soda for this one. Don't expect many jokes, as there wasn't much to laugh about 13,000 B.C. The action is brutal, with certain death at every corner, truely an "Eat or be Eaten" period. The human tribe has a rich culture & speaks in their native dialect, giving an authentic early man feel, so be prepared to read subtitles. Alpha is a plausible scenario of how the bond between man and wolf came to be. You'll leave feeling cold from the over-abundant snow, but warmed on the inside from the overflowing love. Nothing more after the credits start. I give this journey an "Eat Your Heart Out Natty Gann" rating.

#Alpha #RatedPG13 #GioseesMovies

Pandas (2018)

Über Cute but So Short

[6/10 · 22 August 2018]

PANDAS is a cute animal documentary, that also doubles as a travelogue for the country of China. Follow Chen Chen as she struggles to make it in the wild. Made for IMAX, with it's beautifully vast mountains & expansive forests, the brief 40 minute run-time does make you re-think the price of the Upgrade. Few things are cuter than a fluffy, 30 ft. baby panda, but Pandas might play better at the local science museum, rather than your Cineplex. Overflowing with cuteness, but painfully short, you leave the theater feeling slightly panda-teased. I give it an "I wonder if Chen Chen Can Whoop Po" rating. #Pandas #RatedG #GioseesMovies

Crazy Rich Asians (2018)

I Chu Chu Chu This Movie

[7/10 · 16 August 2018]

CRAZY RICH ASIANS is an enjoyable, fish out of water tale for the hopeless romantic. The leads, Constance Wu & Henry Golding, have good chemistry & make a believably cute couple. The jokes are funny, but few real belly laughs. This movie's strengths are its fun music and gorgeous locales. Mandarin covers of Popular songs, like Madonna's Material Girl & Coldplay's Yellow, provide a playful soundtrack, while simultaneously reminding you how far from Kansas you've traveled. From Hong Kong, to Malaysia, to Singapore, Crazy Rich Asians gives you a Crazy Rich tour of Asia's prettiest locations, and utmost decadence. You'll leave feeling entertained, yet wishing you'd applied yourself more in college. Stay for the Mid-Credits scene. I give this rom-com an "I Chu Chu Chuse You" rating #CrazyRichAsians #RatedPG13 #GioseesMovies

Mission: Impossible - Fallout (2018)

Maaaybe, Scientology is Real?

[9/10 · 14 August 2018]

MISSION IMPOSSIBLE: FALLOUT is Great for action buffs & spy movie fans. Pay close attention, because Fallout has many plot twists & turns. I Highly recommend seeing this one in IMAX, as the HALO jump over Paris & helicopter chase over the mountains are worthy of the upgrade. Seeing Tom Cruise do his own stunts adds authenticity, and seat-clenching excitement that few others provide. Leaves you feeling Pumped for Mo-are Mission Impossible! I give this movie a, "Maaaybe, Scientology is REAL, Dawg" rating. #MissionImpossibleFallout #RatedPG13 #GioseesMovies

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2018)

You My Boy, Blue

[5/10 · 14 August 2018]

JURASSIC WORLD: FALLEN KINGDOM is only good if you're a Jurassic Park Franchise Die-Hard or child. It has the same chasing & hiding mechanics you've seen in every outing of the JP series, either "Homages" to the original or down, right, Rip-offs. The jokes are poor and some new characters are pointless & annoying. It felt long, yet left you feeling hungry for more...just More: action, character growth, plot, even Dinosaurs. My Inner-Goldblum often chimed, "Now eventually we might have Dinosaurs in your Dinosaur movie?" Has One, brief Very End Credits Scene, not worth the wait unless you're Very Die Hard JP/JW fan. I give this movie a "You My Boy, Blue" rating. #JurassicWorldFallenKingdom #RatedPG13 #GioseesMovies

Slender Man (I) (2018)

Slender Needs a Sammich

[4/10 · 14 August 2018]

SLENDERMAN is only good if you like B-List scary flicks and cliche horror tropes. There are a few disturbing images & sound cues that create some tension, but it's all undermined by predictable jump-scares. Bring a soda, as this one tends to drag in places. Either because Slenderman is an internet meme, or just as a sign of our times, there is Heavy reliance on #Textposition, or using text messages & webpages to move the story forward. Leaves you feeling somewhat entertained, but not really scared. A brief newsfootage reel plays as the end credits start. This meme movie gets a "Give That Ghost a Sammich" rating. #Slenderman #RatedPG13 #GioseesMovies

The Meg (2018)

Suspend disbelief as Statham goes fishing.

[7/10 · 14 August 2018]

THE MEG is good if you like creature features and sci/fi future tech. Good, but predictable action. Descent comedy. Great performance by child actress, Sophia Cai, who steals her scenes. "Homages" to Jaws. The 3D was pretty underwater, but unnecessary elsewhere. Good entertainment if you don't over-think it. Similar to that Other shark movie, it leaves you feeling like you'll Never go in water deeper than your hips, again. No more movie after FIN, other than scroll up credits. I give it a "We're Going to Need a bigger...no Bigger...NO BIGGER Boat!" rating. #TheMeg #RatedPG13 #GioseesMovies

Uncle Drew (2018)

Silly Fun for OGs & Youngbloods Alike

[8/10 · 14 August 2018]

UNCLE DREW is great if you like basketball & wacky comedy. It's the Kyrie Irving Pepsi commercials with Heart, Dank Make-Up, & Nostalgia Feels turned up to an Eleven. The cast has fun with their roles, and you'll have fun too if you don't take it too seriously. You'll leave feeling happy & needing to reconnect with old friends. Stay for Mid-credits blooper reel. I give it an "OG & Youngblood approval" rating. #UncleDrew #RatedPG13 #GioseesMovies

The Spy Who Dumped Me (2018)

Good Buddy Comedy

[7/10 · 14 August 2018]

THE SPY WHO DUMPED ME is great for the buddy movie & spy thriller fans. Kunis & McKinnon play believable Besties, & their characters have a good arc. They put that R rating to work, as some jokes can be crude, yet extremely funny. The action is exciting & gory, and there are a few good twists, as you'd expect from a spy flick. McKinnon's Morgan does get annoying with her incessant feminism, but by the end you may develop a case of envy from all the Bad-Ass women doing Kick-Ass stuff. You're very entertained, and leave wanting to hug your Bestie. There is one last scene as the credits begin, and a couple funny Mid-Credits interviews. I give this caper a Solid "Shut-Up Meg" rating 'cause it's a good alternative to The Meg.

BlacKkKlansman (2018)

Great but Hard to Hit Joint

[8/10 · 12 August 2018]

BLACKKKLANSMAN is Very Good if you like political think-pieces & undercover cop thrillers. The plot is exciting. Denzel Jr. and Kylo Ren bring their A-Game. Its jokes are funny & very necessary to relieve the Marty-McFly-HEAVY levels of tension. This Spike Lee Joint is Hard to hit at times, & doesn't let up. Don't watch this if you're easily Triggered by racial epithets, because every one in the playbook makes an appearance. Yes, that one...That one too...Uh-huh, and THAT one. So many in fact, they eventually become white noise, devoid of their shock factor, & played for laughs. Though Left-leaning, with subtle jabs at President Trump, its message is still important for all Americans. Klansman illustrates how hate comes in All colors, and only by working together can we bring an end to the Cycle of Hate. You leave the theater hopeful, yet troubled by our country's racial hang-ups. There is brief newsreel footage right before the credits, but nothing after. You'll be discussing this one with friends and family for a while after. I give this joint a "Can't We Just Get Along?" rating.

Christopher Robin (2018)

Good if you like Pooh

[7/10 · 10 August 2018]

CHRISTOPHER ROBIN is very good, but slow paced. Made for the Pooh Bear lovers. It reminds you to stop and smell the roses, and not be so Seeerious. It is Very British, in all the good ways. This movie knows how to get you right in the Nostagia Feels. The animation is detailed, very pretty, yet can be creepy at times. Christopher Robin leaves you feeling Happy, yet Old. Stay for the Mid-Credits song.

#ChristopherRobin #RatedPG #GioseesMovies #PeliculasconDonGiovanni #MoviePass #AMCALIST

Teen Titans GO! To the Movies (2018)

"Hey Kids, Ask Your Parents Where Babies Come From"

[7/10 · 10 August 2018]

TEEN TITANS GO! TO THE MOVIES is very good for Comic Fans and Children. It's funny, and has tons of Cameos and Easter Eggs that make multiple viewings enjoyable. Leaves you feeling Entertained and Goofy. Stay for the Mid and End Credits Scenes.

#TeenTitansGototheMovies #RatedPG #GioseesMovies #PeliculasconDonGiovanni #MoviePass #AMCALIST