jay-bethke Reviews

Bednyy, bednyy Pavel (2003)

Russians do it better

[10/10 · 23 May 2006]

In recent years I have come to anxiously look forward to any piece of Russian cinema that I am able to see. It rarely disappoints, and is almost universally at a deeper emotional level than what is produced in the U.S. Poor Pavel epitomizes the difference. While being at times very funny, it is also profoundly sad ...but not in the sappy, clumsy, staged sort of way that so many U.S. films cannot rise above. Maybe it's the Russian spirit, laughing hard and crying hard at the same time. The actor portraying Pavel, Victor Sukhorukov, gives off a unique, uneasy and disturbing feeling that works so well for Pavel, and I can't praise the other actors highly enough either. Between them and the direction of the film, there is real cinematic magic at work. The viewer is transported to the late 18th century Russia for an exciting walk with a mad king, and no reminders that it is only a film, such as formulas or cheap dialog, show up to disturb what is an all around great picture.

The Crucifier (2005 Video)

Not Worth Flushing Down Your Toilet - Save the Water

[2/10 · 23 January 2006]

Couldn't agree more with anyone who says this is bad, bad, bad. It's that bad. Incoherent, really. The little bits of dialogue are just atrocious, with guys in T-shirts and jeans sitting at a blue-collar kitchen table using old English mixed with new, occasionally slipping in-between American and British accents because they haven't been coached on how to deal with their oddball dialogue. The "story," if we take the liberty of calling it that, involves a lot of self-loathing (Bill Zebub's contribution?) and some kind of piecemeal, not-thought-out-too-far pseudo-Satanism, and a lot of crappy cliché shots that make it obvious the director is anything but eclectic in taste or life. A full half of the film is made up of naked or semi-naked young women tied up in a forest (the only thought in my mind seeing this was: "Mom, Dad, this is my big break!"). Slow pans up theirbodies or through the trees fail to hide the bored look on the girls' faces. Meanwhile, and through most of the film, pitifully awful, stupid and hate-able music plays, with lyrics worse than the film's dialogue ...idiotic enough to make your stomach turn. I see a lot of trashy films, but rarely are they so totally uncultured. There's no point ...life's too precious to bother over this garbage.

The Believer (2001)

A Showcase of Contradictions, Intelligent and Pertinent

[10/10 · 5 July 2005]

It is almost a sort of shame that the ever-hot topic of racism/anti-Semitism nearly outshines the more central struggle with spirituality and religion that Danny is going through. Many fascist/skinhead types seem to confuse or blend race and religion when considering Jews and Judaism. Danny certainly seems confused in this, but comes around toward the end of the film when he suggests to the fascist big-wigs that the way to eradicate Jews is to love them, absorb them (because, he believes, Judaism thrives on being hated, separate). My notion of Judaism has long been the same as that of Christianity and Islam: ALL adherents thrive on being hated, on being an underdog, and lose their power when they are most widely accepted and tolerated (Christians seem to have gotten more of being thrown to the lions than the Romans did, and Islamic pride seems to get stronger the worse the rest of the world treats its disciples). These religions are like three awful, brutish brothers, always at each other's throats, and, in the end, essentially nihilistic individually. Because of this, I can understand Danny's spirituality problem (but am left wondering why he did not consider religions outside of the three great desert religions of the middle east). Danny has few anchors to the earth (pagan?) world, a pair of kind old friends (from youth, the most pagan time in life), his weird but spiritually hungry lover (who seems to be looking for anything to fill a hole in her soul ...which is where Christians get so many of their converts); but there are many more negative influences present in the film, and these absorb him. Add to this the fact that he considers his god a bully, and Judaism more about doing things than believing (which is true with many Christians and Muslims), and you've got a foul spiritual mix. Once ousted in the papers, Danny would clearly not find a home in either of the two worlds he is a part of, and so suicide seems an easy solution (a physical solution, just like pumping iron and beating up kids in the street). Danny's fatal flaw seems to be that he keeps questioning and cannot just accept faith and submit to god (which works within the box of the film, though thankfully not in the universe outside of the three desert religions!). The final sort of afterlife scene was my favorite of the film and shows this clearly: Danny's former teacher stands in the stairwell, trying to get him to engage in a discussion on a religious argument while Danny keeps running up the stairs. "There's nothing up there," says the teacher, but Danny keeps going. A rather frightening image when you think about it ...and one adherents to the religion can keep for themselves.

La mansión de los Cthulhu (1992)

May both Lovecraft and Cthulu forgive the poor fools who made this mess

[3/10 · 6 June 2005]

Don't go into this one expecting even a remote trace of Lovecraftian horror ...you won't find it. The only HPL connection to this screwball effort is the word Cthulu ...the word, not the idea, not the god, not the atmosphere or anything else. Just the word. One can't necessarily expect the actors of a movie like this to be top notch (though Jeffrey Combs of some other HPL-based films is certainly the exception), but in Cthulu Mansion you feel like you should be watching something recorded by teenagers on a digital camera. The film's dialog consists solely of clichés ...an hour and a half worth of clichés: imagine that! The lead bad guy is named Hawk (which wouldn't be funny even if this were a satire of trashy horror), and the characters so lack originality and human-ness that you'll find yourself wondering aloud, "What was going through the actor's mind when he/she was performing this scene?" Seemingly absolutely nothing. The killings are mild (the blood-shower drowning was cool but too good for this film) or stupid (the 1950s monster hands coming out of the refrigerator ...come on!), and the only genuinely positive thing I can say about the entire mess was that the mansion used here would be great in a better film. I so wanted this to be a better movie. The cover at the video store, the fact that it was Spanish and claimed to be based off of Lovecraft, all pointed to something awesome ...but I was horribly deceived.

Prom Night III: The Last Kiss (1990)

Humor and Horror Mingled Well: Thanks, Canada!

[10/10 · 12 May 2005]

I'm a bit surprised by all of the negative reviews of this film ...it's got more wit and grue than 90% of the films of its genre and era, yet it's called "crap" (which says little for everything else). Yes, PN3 is very juvenile, but so is the intended audience - the evil heroes of horror of the late 80s and early 90s generally play to such tastes. The male lead is easy to like (the chemistry between he and his girlfriend reminds me of that of the lead guy and his girlfriend in "Fright Night"), as is the actress portraying Mary Lou. The film doesn't pretend to be anything more than a "USA Up All Night" flick, but the dialog, style and gore of the movie are all above average (I think of "Girlfriend From Hell" as the prototypical decent "USA Up All Night" film, and this one is definitely in a class above). The horror just erupts from nowhere in this film, like the scene in which the principal cuts off his finger and wind starts blowing all over, slamming doors shut ...my reaction to this was a big laugh: what a great, madcap way to foreshadow. I love films in which the hell just starts right away and keeps going until the end (Evil Dead 2 is probably the best example of that). And I laughed a lot while watching PN3, but perhaps one needs a rather free - and yet very juvenile - sense of humor to get the most out of it. If you ever snickered at the humor and one-liners of Freddy Krueger, Angela Baker, or even the Wishmaster, you'll probably like this incarnation of Mary Lou. In any case, this film is very representative of its time and genre, in good ways and bad, depending on your take.

The Grim Reaper (1980)

Excellent Eurohorror in the Aegean Sea

[10/10 · 16 February 2005]

The ideas and atmosphere of this film come from great, universal horror themes: a secluded and creepy Greek island, lost tourists, the tragic-horror story of a man who had to eat his wife and child in order to survive while lost at sea, a scary old mansion ...all wonderful horror (and with a genuinely tragic monster, the backbone of all great horror). The scene in which Tisa Farrow is hanging in the well and George Eastman (the cannibal monster) is reaching out to grab her is masterful suspense, and the scenes of Eastman eating the fetus and his own entrails remain shocking today, 25 years later. I've found myself comparing many different secluded-island horror movies to this one, most recently Stuart Gordon's "Dagon," but also "Shockwaves," both great but neither quite evoking the atmosphere and classic horror that Antropophagus does. The Greek folk music piece early in the film draws me back, whenever I hear it, to the dark side of the seclusion of the little islands in the Aegean Sea (the only other film in which I have heard this song is "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" ...needless to say, the use of the song in MBFGW came off as terribly irritating to this gorehound). Though the cuts I have seen of Antropophagus could stand to be cleaned up (and converted into one language throughout the film), these cosmetic problems should not be translated into "slow" and "dull" to modern eyes. This film is spirited and delightful, with all of the suspense and grue of its era packed into 90 minutes. Absolutely essential viewing for the Eurohorror fan.

Last Cannibal World (1977)

Well-crafted, genuine horror based on Western fears

[8/10 · 14 February 2005]

Nobody who would bother taking the time to watch an Italian cannibal film will be offended by the butchery, nudity, or rape found in this piece. The Last Cannibal World, like others of the genre, really showcases the sort of "horror of nature" that exists in the western mind. There are as many shots of animals crawling around, devouring other animals, slithering and being filthy and savage, as there are of human beings doing the same. The cannibals mimic the animals, essentially, and the white men are unable to believe what they are seeing ...except for the one unlucky fellow who gets caught and, shall we say, does what he has to in order to fit in. Western peoples will be horrified by the disgusting behaviors of the cannibals (men as animals), the dizzying jungle that goes on and on, as well as the blood and guts: we seek order and reason, the opposite of the total chaos and irrationality as represented not only by the jungle, but by the culture-less cannibals (romanticized and caricature-like though they are). The film is a genuine dramatic and natural horror, and despite the cultural one-sidedness of the subject matter and its portrayal of the islanders, we must remember that it is a horror film, exploiting what Western peoples are afraid of: Deodato certainly gets credit for getting the formula down if not for anthropological accuracy. The killings of the animals in films like this can only be the reason why there are the "No animals were harmed in the making of this film" disclaimers following the credits of films today.

The Hitchhiker (1983–1991)

Nostalgia Aside, Still a Good Watch on a Saturday Night

[11 February 2005]

This series played on Friday and/or Saturday nights through my youth and so it shaped me every bit as much as Tales From the Darkside, Ray Bradbury Theater, Friday the 13th the Series, Monsters, and other such programs. To my surprise, I recently found season one and two of The Hitchhiker on DVD at a local video store. I rented and re-watched them after more than a decade and found them to be not only happily nostalgic, but generally very entertaining (some, of course, being much better than others). There isn't much available on television any more that has the offbeat, cathartic campiness of every episode being taken from some short story of the horror or thriller genre. The Outer Limits is still on, but that's about it. While we're all in this dry spell of such programming, it is wonderful to find something like The Hitchhiker return on DVD (if not on TV).

Messiah of Evil (1974)

Aesthetic and unique, in good ways

[10/10 · 27 December 2004]

Virtually all of the praise I've ever seen for this film comes with the word "but", followed by a list of flaws. This is undeserved. True, the film (in its DVD double-bill with The Devil's Nightmare form) has some minor editing issues; true, it has cheesy pop music you'd never find if you search for years (I personally consider this a GOOD thing); true, the film is not a fast paced zombie-action flick with grue and butchery (in fact, it's more cult than zombie film). BUT, what the movie does have going for it is an original edge and some sharp, moody scenes that are rare for the era. Some comments say it is slow ...my view is that the authors of such comments are simply more used to modern, faster-paced cinema. The scenes are aesthetically delightful but certainly not as artsy (negatively so) as some commentors claim (the artsy-ness doesn't really go beyond the story itself: DO NOT fear this is comparable to the so-called artsy-ness of, say, a Jess Franco film ...it is not). The actors have been attacked by other commentors, but this is one of the things I was more impressed with considering the seemingly meager budget. I thought the male lead did a much better job than, say, the female lead. The two girls who are traveling with the male lead are also surprisingly human and real for a film like this, and there is obviously some chemistry in the cast (but for the female lead: she's a bit too dreamy). The albino and the Richard Wagner music-scene felt out of place but perhaps worked with the disorientation of the film as a whole. In all, comparing this film to its genre and period, it really can't be dismissed. A little indecisive, but not nearly enough to detract from the bounty of great scenes and sensations.

Crawlspace (1986)

Another great horror flick you may have somehow missed in the 80's...

[10/10 · 3 May 2004]

Klaus Kinski's performance is, as usual, well beyond the expectations of the film (and, as always, in another world beyond the accompanying cast). But that isn't to say the notion of a creepy ex-Nazi landlord crawling around in the ceiling and spying on and killing pretty college girls isn't a good one for horror ...just that if somebody else had tried to pull it off, it would never have been so much fun. Perhaps part of the problem with this movie getting the attention of horror fans (none of those I know had seen Crawlspace before I recommended it) has to do with marketing. The box gives it the appearance of something more akin to drama or even mystery. If the designers had done something so simple as put Kinski on the front cover, dressed in his Nazi costume, applying lipstick to those big lips of his, this movie would have received a lot more attention.

The Night Evelyn Came Out of the Grave (1971)

Hypnotic and campy 60's Eurohorror with Erika Blanc

[10/10 · 3 May 2004]

Possible spoiler here, in that perhaps this film is just a little more Giallo than straight horror. If you're looking for a god-awful zombie woman crawling out of the dirt and devouring flesh, you won't find it here. You'll find instead the workings of a slightly demented and eccentric soap opera in overdrive. The main character, a wealthy playboy, combines pervert with nostalgia-choked lover-losing-his-mind. His tastes include whips and tall black boots and girls with thick red hair. There's an assortment of cagey personas, the gardener, relatives, those concerned with the poor mental state of our hero (the perverted killer) ...all of whom might gain if he finally does go over the edge. In the end, its all just a bit more mystery than horror for the more crude horror fan. The real draw to this movie is the backdrop, the 60's Eurohorror music and feel. Eclectics may find this gem absolutely irresistible.

Devil's Nightmare (1971)

Exceptional Eurohorror

[10/10 · 22 April 2004]

The first time I saw this film was years ago on the USA channel's "Saturday Nightmares," even before the days of "Up All Night." This is the perfect movie for a show like that, something you'd like to find just before midnight deep in the summer after you've just cracked open the first beer. The plot's got a campy "7 Deadly Sins" theme (which is pulled off a helluva lot better in this fairy tale-like setting than in some rotten police investigation "Se7en" trash), the setting is classical without being droll (an old Belgian castle minus things that are supposed to look scary, like banister-ends carved into the faces of little computer-morphing children), and the girls are all beautiful but not wholly character-less (Erika Blanc's very original look and manner steals the film). The backdrop of WW2 and dirty family secrets, and the fact that the Devil beats the proud young seminarist in the end, serves as extra icing on the already sweet and delicious cake. This one is a gem in the truest sense, a great oft-unwatched movie you'll find buried in the dust and bones of video store trash ("trash" with a small "t") that has probably been left unrented for years.