michaeltomorrow Reviews

The Adderall Diaries (2015)

Felt like a student film...

[2/10 · 19 April 2016]

After hearing about (but not reading) the book I was a little excited for this film. Terrible let down. There is no real plot or even a narrative and I can't for the life of me understand why this gets placed under the Thriller genre. It is little more than a plodding collection of vignettes strung together with an inordinate number of slow-motion flashbacks. Seriously if just the flashbacks and montages were shown in realtime it would cut the runtime of this movie by half. Want to convey a memory of a happy family? Slow motion flashback of them kicking a ball in the yard. Angry family? Slow motion flashback of them yelling and punching. Repeat this over and over to fill the space where plot and character development would go.

The "trial" component feels forced as an unnecessary element (maybe to convince us it's a thriller?). There isn't one relationship in this movie we ever actually care about and, as if to add insult to injury, the star seems to magically reconcile a lifetime of bad choices in the last ten minutes! Too bad this was a really bad vehicle for some otherwise good talent.

Trophy Wife (2013–2014)

Trophy Wife is No Prize

[2/10 · 3 October 2013]

Trying to capitalize on its 'Modern Family' success, ABC has crapped out yet another 'blended family' sitcom. Sadly this show suffers from the same mediocrity of all its contenders. In the title role, Malin Ackerman is cast as the sexy, sweet and awkwardly funny third wife. Problem is, she brings none of that to the part. Rapidly approaching 40 she can't pull off kittenish party girl anymore, is written as more naive than sweet, and doesn't have the chops to pull off the physical comedy needed to make this show stand out (Ackerman is also a producer on the show, so maybe no one is able to actually tell her). In fact it almost seems like wife number two, Michaela Watkins' character, is written so ridiculously to help make Ackerman seem more charming by comparison. She doesn't.

Bradley Whitford and Marcia Gay Harden performances' are good, if not predictable, and the kids are...well..kids. Again, not sure what is suppose to be unique about this show. The writing is average, the production is stock and the premise, which I suppose is basically summed up in the title, is hobbled by Ackerman.

Casting Couch (I) (2013)

No Sex, No Funny

[1/10 · 24 March 2013]

A bunch of losers with no movie experience or talent make a film in order to meet girls. That's not the plot...that's what this movie IS. There's only two reasons to sit through a movie like this...boobs and jokes, of which there are none. Well, since I stomached most of the "unrated" version I think I actually saw a couple of boobs....but unless played-out, 1980's Urkle-esque jokes are your thing, there isn't a laugh to be had in the whole movie. There are some great, clever independent films out there with poor production value so I really don't judge on that. But the writing felt like it was done by middle school guys and the acting is almost a parody of itself. Not only isn't it worth seeing, it's not worth reviewing...but I sort of had to since there was one review here that was clearly written by someone associated with them film. No one, and I mean no one, else could find any value in this turkey.

Elektra Luxx (2010)

Waste of a Great Cast!

[5/10 · 14 March 2013]

File this under "Wanted to Like This Movie But..," it's poor Sebastian Gutierrez attempt at a vanity piece. Maybe he can write, maybe he can direct, maybe he can produce, but he certainly can't do all three. The only redeeming thing here is the idea behind the plot, which could have been fun, sexy and touching...but instead it was given a bad 'caper' movie treatment. As a result his rich cast, including Carla Gugino, Joseph Gordon Levitt and Tim Olyphant, come off as having all the warmth of a bad SNL skit. The writing is so stiff that any attempts at humor fall flat, and the natural sexiness and charm of Gugino just disappears. I suppose trying to make Adrianne Palicki's charter ridiculously dumb was for comedic effect, but it's so unnatural that it ends up just being insulting. It's almost like Gutierrez couldn't make up his mind on this film, because the "quirky" bits (e.g. the Virgin Mary, and Levitt's roles) almost feel like they were bolted on as an afterthought. Too bad.

The Knot (2012)

Fake reviews = terrible movie.

[3/10 · 14 March 2013]

Okay, so six reviews of this movie...all written within a day of each other, all written in the same voice, and all the reviewers have only one review to their names. If these "glowing" reviews aren't enough to make you suspicious, let me be quite clear. This movie is TERRIBLE. It's basically a series of gross-out jokes, ridiculous injuries and tired clichés that could have been written by a group of high schoolers. In fact the entire film has a very amateurish feel to it, which makes it impossible to connect with any of the very thin storyline. Mena Suvari must owe someone in England a big favor, and hopefully this erased her debt, because even this poor excuse for a comedy is far out of her league (which is saying a lot considering she was in American Pie). This "rom com" is not romantic, not funny and really not worth your time.