goultar1 Reviews

White House Down (2013)

Great action, weak acting

[11 July 2013]

With the exception of the performance of Mr. Hentschel, who played the bad guy Motts, the acting was mostly wooden. Hentschel did an outstanding job, and I hated his character with a passion. The action was very good, especially when Motts got wiped out. The plot was obviously unrealistic, but it had enough tension to keep me glued to my seat. Mork is a dork. I found the beginning part of the movie to drag. It was quite boring, but when the action started up, it was non stop. Mr. Foxx did not look like a President, but he looked like an actor who was playing the President. The main villain, Walker, did not come off as a bad guy at all. Tatum was o.k. at best, and The Rock would have been a much better choice for the role. I give this a seven out of ten.

Mama (I) (2013)

all good

[8/10 · 2 February 2013]

This was a really good horror movie, with plot twists, surprises, plenty of scares, and excellent technical effects. I am not giving it ten stars only because it was a bit depressing in places, but after I left the theater, even the depressing aspects of this movie caused me to think about it.

Once again, Jessica Chastain stole the show. Her acting skills are unbelievable. I just learned from the featured review that she is the critics' favorite, and I can see why. Nobody delivers a line better. So far, I have seen her in two roles, and she aced both of them.

If you are a fan of the horror and sci fi genres, then by all means see this movie.

Zero Dark Thirty (2012)

Who is this Jessica Chastain, anyway!?

[8/10 · 2 February 2013]

Any movie about killing Bin Laden has got to be a very good movie, and this one did not disappoint. Great technical work, great dialog. When the character Dan said "Let me be honest with you. I am bad news." I really wish I could have had that role in real life, because I would NOT have to deliver that line. It would be obvious from the get-go.

And now back to Jessica Chastain. I have never seen or heard a better actress. She is not great-- she is elite. Put her in the same category as Anthony Hopkins and Charlton Heston. I have never HEARD anyone deliver a line better or be more believable. I have seen her now in two roles, and she aced both of them. An Oscar guarantee, and I would say the best actress EVER. She stole the show.

This movie does not get ten stars from me only because it tended to drag a bit in places. Otherwise, this is a must see.

Broken City (2013)

Broken MOVIE

[1/10 · 2 February 2013]

Could some geek show me where the ten stars are so I can check off only one? This was an awful movie, and that's putting it lightly. The characters were dull and predictable, and I ended up rooting for none of them. They were all jerks.

And then there was the disappearing Natalie, who we all thought would be a central character in the movie. Why was she even there? Russell Crow gave a performance which was for the birds. Has Mark Wahlberg ever thought of starting a music career? He certainly is not a convincing tough guy. The only dramatic question in this movie was who would fall asleep first, me in the theater or the actors on the screen.

And then there was the mayoral debate between the drunkard and the jackass. This debate was worthy of a contest for grade school class president. Who wrote that scene, anyway? On second thought, I don't want to know.

Save your $, fans. Watch something on television instead.

Gangster Squad (2013)

Should be movie of the year!

[9/10 · 2 February 2013]

This was one of the best action movies I have seen in years, and I would seriously question the intellectual capacity of anyone who would disagree with this. Penn gave the performance of his CAREER and should be guaranteed an Oscar, and this is from someone who is not a Penn fan. At the end of the movie, I was punching the bad guy harder than the hero of the movie was, and believe me if I hit him he would not have gotten up. I was at the edge of my seat through the entire movie.

The effects in this movie made me believe I was actually back in the 1940's, which was the heyday of my parents' generation. There were one liners in this movie that made me just say 'wow.' Kudos to the writer of the screen play. I can't find anything at all bad to say about this movie.

John Carter (2012)

The Best of The Best

[10/10 · 15 March 2012]

This movie quite frankly is the BEST movie I have seen in the past thirty years. Everything a movie needs to have was there. The special effects, acting, story line, photography-- you name it, everything was the best. This movie kept me glued to my seat, and I have actually thought about the movie many times after I have seen it. Anyone who does not fall in love with this movie needs to have his head examined. The actors and actresses, especially the leads, are as good if not better than any I have ever seen.

Did I say that this is a great movie?? I recommend this movie to anyone who likes science fiction and has anything resembling a brain in his or her head.

Hugo (2011)

bo ring bo ring

[3/10 · 1 December 2011]

This film was playing in a theater that I frequented during my childhood, and I was quite excited to see it based on the reviews I read RIGHT HERE. It was a disappointment. The robot was the most exciting character. The special effects were good-- not great. The sound quality was muffled, and many times I could not hear what was being said. The story line was pointless and boring, and I could not wait for it to end, like a joke without a punch line. I fought through the urge to fall asleep toward the end of the movie. 8.6 average user rating? You're dreaming. At least this film would be better than watching a film by George Melies. Who decided to make this person's primitive films the subject of a movie anyway? That's like going to a museum to see art work by chimpanzees.

Apollo 18 (2011)

Rocks that rock and roll on the moon.

[6 September 2011]

This was a very depressing movie, especially for those with claustrophobic tendencies, and for the most part it was BORING. My main gripe is that it was passed off as being a real story. Do the writers of this movie think we are stupid? If this was supposed to be a government "cover-up," we would have found out about it by now because the government can't even cover up a break-in to a psychiatrist's office. I am sick and tired of all these alleged cover-up stories emanating from the brains of paranoid schizophrenics.

If I had been one of the astronauts, I would have made it back to Earth just so I could get the satisfaction of punching one of the D.O.D. officers right in the face! The spider creature were, in fact, pretty scary, but how the hell were they supposed to be able to get inside a sealed spacesuit anyway? I walked out of the theater pretty angry.

Morgan! (1966)

Gorilla goes after the gorilla his dreams and goes ape.

[10 July 2011]

This movie was funny as hell. David Warner is an ace-- a great comedic actor, and the entire cast should have received awards. All the ingredients for a great comedy were there-- gorilla suits, slapstick comedy at a wedding celebration involving a gorilla, the main character being insane-- what more could you ask for. I saw the movie on late night t.v. and I rolled out of bed laughing.

An uncredited actor who also did an outstanding job in this movie was Billy Reil, playing the part of inspector Kowalski. It was especially funny when he thought the bad guy was heading for his office and he ended up konking his secretary over the head with a flower pot.

McHale's Navy (1964)

What is it? Wa wa wa wa wa?

[4 July 2011]

Thanks in large part to Joe Flynn, this movie was by far the funniest movie I have ever seen in my life! During the scene when Captain Binghampton was in a jeep going down a hill and he ended up being thrown out of the jeep and onto a buffet table, I was laughing so hard and long that I ended up rolling in the aisle for a half hour. I was laughing about the movie for days after that! Joe Flynn a.k.a. Jolly Wally Binghampton was the most underrated performer of all time, and as a comedian he beats everyone. He was a true giant of the industry, and it is a shame he was not on the screen more.

Tim Conway and Ernest Borgnine were very good, too, and it is amazing that in real life you would never picture Tim Conway in the role of a dim witted clown.

Alice in Wonderland: An X-Rated Musical Fantasy (1976)

Alice in Dreadful land.

[3 July 2011]

I saw this movie in a theater with my buddies back in 1976, having no idea what it would be like. Lewis Carroll would have turned over in his grave if he saw it. After the first ten minutes I was bored to tears. My friends, like some of the other reviewers, actually enjoyed the movie and refused to leave. Unfortunately I did not drive or else I would have left my friends stranded in the theater. This experience was a couple of hours of AGONY. I would have preferred a ROUTE CANAL.

The movie itself was disjointed. There WAS no plot. A whole bunch of people were dancing around without clothes. I could have watched the same thing at the local disco. I would have fallen asleep in the theater if it weren't for the fact that I saw the movie on a Saturday afternoon and I had just awakened. I could have found more interest in going to the mall and watching the people there.

From Hell It Came (1957)

Tree is stumped by punchline-- can't come up with oak.

[3 July 2011]

GOD HELP ME-- This was the most dangerous monster of all time because it almost killed ME when I watched the movie-- I almost DIED laughing! I was maybe ten years old at the time, and I keep thinking that I could have killed this "monster" by clubbing it with a wiffle ball bat!

Chester, the actor who played the "monster", was actually wearing slippers when he was filmed. How I know this is because he unintentionally lifted his costume so that I could see his feet underneath. Where did they come up with this costume-- Walmart or K-Mart?

To say that this movie was the stupidest of all time would be putting it lightly.

If they wanted more wooden humor, the tree stump should have been played by Woody Allen or by Woody Woodpecker.