wasabiteabag Reviews

Don't Worry Darling (I) (2022)

"Dont Worry Darling" - Barbie

[8/10 · 11 August 2023]

Watching this after Barbie is polarising. It feels like it unknowingly produced the wireframe of a future parody that will ultimately end up being the biggest film the following year. Predating the burlesque (absurd or comically exaggerated imitation of something, especially in a literary or dramatic work; a parody.) All while keeping the Black Mirror / Midsommar / Handmaid's Tale / Suspiria / Oppenheimer Los Alamos Town vibes.

It's a shame the "critics" shot this down before it could fly. Hopefully it rises up in years to come. Who knows, maybe even be a cult classic.

I liked it. It was Florence Pugh-nough.

Talk to Me (I) (2022)

R U OK? How about... Talk to Me.

[8/10 · 12 July 2023]

Great representation of grief done in a respectful way. It's hard to watch at times, but so is hearing what has to be said. Just hold on and put the poor animal to sleep.

Miranda Otto nailed her role as the mum. Literally mimicking every worried parent out there with kids that participate in (failed?) TikTok challenges.

Would've liked a bit more story arc on Mia's dad, but was fine for his story to be left open to interpretation.

Overall, solid Aussie horror film from the filmmakers Danny and Michael Philippou. Congrats on their feature directorial debut. Got to 'hand' it to them. Look forward to see what grotesque ideas they come up with for their next film.

Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One (2023)

Buckleys: Chance - Dead set, ya'bloody Reckon!? (unofficial alternate title for the Australian Premiere / release)

[7/10 · 8 July 2023]

In 1996, I was 10 years old when I first saw Brian De Palma's Mission: Impossible (1996), I still remember the cinema experience. I had the promotional M:I branded Popcorn & Drink combo™ from the candy bar. The plastic bottle for the self-serve soda dispenser was shaped like a bundle of red dynamite sticks, with the white wick serving as the straw. I hadn't even seen the blockbuster yet and was already blown away by the attention of detail put into the marketing. As for the movie, I was incredibly confused, the plot went way over my head, but to not ruin the experience, I told myself to just enjoy the action. That's what I did, had a blast as a result. After repeated views on VHS rentals, the story just added another layer to the film. My point is, I don't think these films (along with the Fast & Furious franchise) need to have Oscar worthy screenplays. They just need Tom on Cruise control (and Vin filling up on Diesel respectfully).

This brings me to MI:7, Pt.1 in this explosive action franchise, here are few points that were on my mind upon reflecting;

× Imagine a venn diagram of "Old People <> Tom Cruise <> Computer Algorithms." Tom Cruise is probably the only human on earth that (might) need help 'force quitting' Finder on his Mac whilst skydiving, motorcycling, scuba diving, astronauting or just running etc etc.

× I was almost convinced one of the mask reveal scenes was the face of the late Leslie Nielsen.. but it was just Tom on top of a train.

× Overall fun experience, but it really is Tom's experience. We're just spectators watching a movie ChatGPT wrote about his adrenaline filled vacation filmed almost entirely on a drone/GoPro.

I've made a list of a few films (+game) that I believe inspired Dead Reckoning Part One, should you choose to accept it.

First Strike (1996), The Illusionist (2006), Now You See Me (2013), Naked Gun 33.3: The Final Insult (1994), Wrongfully Accused (1998), Murder on the Orient Express (1974), The Italian Job (1969), Mr. Bean's Holiday (2007), The Terminal (2004), The Running Man (1987), The Maze Runner (2014), Moonraker (1979), Don't Look Now (1973), Uncharted 2: Among Thieves (2009), Black Mirror (2011-future)

Children of the Mist (2021)

Kicking and Screaming

[9/10 · 19 August 2022]

Torn between rural cultural traditions and the status quo in Vietnam. As an outsider looking in, it's hard to see what is right for the people in that community, but I do believe it's a universal rule that when someone (female) is kicking and screaming whilst getting dragged away (by men) is absolutely wrong.

South Park: The 25th Anniversary Concert (2022 TV Special)

F^*k Yeah, Colorado!

[8/10 · 15 August 2022]

From Rancid to Rush, the boys have come a long way since Chef Aid: The South Park Album that was released during the show's second season. Loved that CD as a horny 12yr old that had to skip the 'Mousse T. Vs. Hot 'n' Juicy' track when my mum came into my room.

24yrs later, I'm 36 and have been involved with the content distribution side of South Park in my region for the past 9yrs. Legends of comedy, this concert is not only a tribute to the masterminds that created it, but a thank you to the fans that stuck with them.

Also, F^*k Yeah slurpees!

Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Pinkie Finger

[9/10 · 9 August 2022]

Unlike Shunichirô Miki's wild passion project Asatte no mori (2011) that was perhaps produced just for his personal viewing and a select few film festivals. EEATO is just as bonkers, but it's clear in its objective, and was made for everyone. This film deserves it's own rollercoaster at a theme park. Crazy it is 140mins long.. I can't remember taking a breath. It's as original and clever as you can get in 2022. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Pinkie Finger. Just give me Ke Huy Quan young or old, all at once.

Nope (2022)

Jordan Peele's Spielberg moment

[8/10 · 8 August 2022]

I like to believe that 'Nope' was the working title coined by producers after Peele ordered 100 x Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tubemen for his biggest budget film to date.

Great movie, excited to see what we get next from Jordan Peele. There is hope for Hollywood if they green light projects like this.

Top Gun: Maverick (2022)

Top Gun Remastered: A New Hope

[8/10 · 24 May 2022]

Having rewatched the original in preparation, I can safely say this is a neat 2022 restoration. The plot slightly tweaked, each scene touched up and carefully put back in place, all with the exception of the main mission, which is essentially the same tactical plan Luke Skywalker and the rebellion had to destroy the Death Star.

All this doesn't matter though, cause this film is a FILM. Loud, fun and intense. I had a fantastic time watching it on the big screen. The third act is what action movies are all about. Edge of your seat excitement.

Top Gun (1986) premiered the same year my mum pushed me out into the danger zone. Tom Cruise may not have grown as much as me in 35yrs, but his balls certainly did!

The Northman (2022)

Wow. Heaps of 'wow' moments in this.

[9/10 · 25 April 2022]

Felt like Robert Eggers played God Of War with me a few years ago on the PS4, then watched Björk's The Juniper Tree straight after. Loved the brutal quidditch-ish game, but was really impressed by the swimming style of choice, breaststroke. It was mesmerising seeing such an elegant stroke being performed by a brutal being. The lore to the story may be AD (895) and a bit milkshake 'n' spear, but Jesu Christi the mythology of the cinematography is forged from the rarest mindstone in cinema today (2022). Well done Eggers.

Titane (2021)

Dare I say, let thy en-Titane you.

[9/10 · 16 November 2021]

Tetsuo's Iron Man meets Cronenberg's Fly. Loved the "Rage Against the Machine" analogy. May as well be a "Machine Gun Fellitao" reference in there too somewhere..? Soaked up the greasy metaphors like a full blown head gasket. Julia Docournau gave birth to a film that we'll be talking about for a while. You'll need a full tank of gas though, this is quite a ride.

Friends and Strangers (2021)

Where the bloody hell are you!?

[8/10 · 12 November 2021]

Affluent social masterpiece showcasing the weird socialites of Sydney in niche areas. Great representation on focused landscape I've seen in a while. Heaps real life stuff, with a relatable random storyline.

Watch the Sound with Mark Ronson (2021– )

808s & Homebake

[9/10 · 10 August 2021]

Mark Ronson looks like he's stoned in every shot, I love it. Such a laid back approach to interviewing, can only relate it to the style of Louis Theourx. This is a unique approach to a music doco. It's focus is on the tech with each episode featuring a particular sound. It's part educational, part biographical. To be a fly on the reverb chamber with a snare drum getting auto tuned by an 808, the dream.

Mortal Kombat (2021)

Mere Mortal Kombat

[7/10 · 4 August 2021]

It must be hard going into a project like this when fans are fueled with expectations the size of Kano's head. It's all about the grass roots of the game and what made it popular to begin with. The violence, fatalities and characters with original movesets. This film nails these expectations on the bloody head. However, when it comes to the plot, there is not much they can work with tbh. It's hard to sway from the soap opera multiverse theme the franchise has buried itself in. I honestly believe they did the best they could and I can't wait for the next instalment. Also, shout out to Adelaide for hosting their Hilltops in the location department along with the majority of production staff located around Australia. Adds another level to the nose bleed section. Onya!

Music Box: Woodstock 99: Peace Love and Rage (2021) Season 1, Episode 1

Woodstock is the Scooby-Doo of Festivals

[5/10 · 2 August 2021]

Under the poo covered white tarp is a corporate post-hippy type counting the money they made off their victims of systematic regressive behaviour and expensive H2o.

This doco, brought to you by Getty Images and Fight Club, lays blame to the 25yr old kid that listens to nü-metal in their parents basement. Not much attention to the organisers that deigned a festival to exploit their sociopolitical agenda.

Also, don't blame Fred Durst for igniting a flame that was burning well before the festival was premeditated. That's like blaming an NRL player for not scoring a try in your multi.

Imagined timeline if Woodstock was on the Stock Exchange; WoodCorp Pty Ltd (WORP) went public on the ASX with an opening price of 0.69c that quickly shot up to 0.94c then peaked at 0.99c before the big plunge down to 0.19c with the cancelation of 50th anniversary of the festival...and Moby.

BabaKiueria (1986 TV Movie)

Well-done... steak

[8/10 · 6 July 2021]

"We're going to bulldoze everything you can see there (picture of Sydney CBD) and replace it with natural bushland. Something to show future generations what it was like in this area 200 years ago. We want to make it as beautiful as we can. Tall trees, shrubs, wild flowers, sandstone outcrops, and down in the valley, a little stream (Darling Harbour)."

It's currently NAIDOC Week 2021 here in Australia (National Aborigines and Islanders Day Observance Committee). This satirical film from 1986 was mentioned in a work newsletter, I am honestly surprised I've never seen it before. The tone throughout is quite serious, you can tell this isn't a joke. They carefully load up triggering topics in a linear narrative and fire them out one after the other in the face of white Australia.

Directed by Andrei Tarkovsky (1988)

Sculpting of a Time

[9/10 · 21 June 2021]

Fascinating doco for anyone interested in Tarkovsky's approach to creative filmmaking. Great to see him at work. The only interview we see is with his wife, she provides a refreshing insite to his personal life and genuine take on humanity. I particularly liked how he couldn't draw a line between his films and reality. Makes sence when we learn that his actual house is featured in every one of his films. Nothing says taking your work home, when your work is your home.

Come and See (1985)

Went and Saw

[10/10 · 10 June 2021]

...via a low quality YouTube upload.

This film has been sitting in my watchlist for a few years now. Forever checking if it's available to rent/buy/stream in Australia. Every time, a big nope. Today I finally gave in for a 480p version on a 4K OLED TV.

I'm grateful for the low quality in hindsight, the loss in detail might have been a silver lining filter to the gruesome realism depicted on screen. Every shot put the viewer in the kids rotten 2nd hand shoes, made us walk with him through the nightmare. We follow Flyora, played by the brilliant Aleksey Kravchenko at just 13 years of age at the time. We slowly see this boy lose his faith in humanity as he experiences first had the atrocities of war. He ages 20yrs in 2hrs. It's absolutely insane.

This is an anti-war film, the only way war films should be retold. Almost documentary like. No one is glorified or happy here. It's a must see, as a reminder of how fragile and violent humans can be.

The Kindergarten Teacher (2018)

Kindergarten Cop-liance

[8/10 · 12 April 2021]

Went into this thinking it would be like a "feel good" family drama version of Mercury Rising (that Bruce Willis movie about an autistic boy that solves a puzzle containing WikiLeaks or something). Nope, without spoiling anything, we experience a teacher going toe-to-toe with creativity lurking inside a 5yr old boy as if it's a physical force. Lisa Spinelli (beautifully played by Maggie Gyllenhaal) fights to keep the spark alive, but in doing so falls into a deep, dark hole. This is where it becomes a little uncomfortable, disturbing even. But isn't this where true art looms... name a creative genius that isn't completely insane?

Little Monsters (2019)

Biased opinion as a parent...

[7/10 · 20 March 2021]

Biased opinion as a parent, but the kids in this horror spoof made it amazing. Makes sense as the film is dedicated to Abe Forsythe's son Spike, whose first day of kindergarten inspired parts of the story. Some original zombie gags towards the end were a nice touch. Definitely reccomend to 'Shaun of the Dead' fans that now have kids. My wife had tears during the credits, happy or sad? You'll just have to find out.

Sound of Metal (2019)

4 and a half decibels out of 5

[9/10 · 4 December 2020]

Brilliant film.

Perfectly captures the nuance of time and the cause of the human condition when effected by it.

Pre-covid and more importantly, pre-kids. I went to a lot of gigs. This might have prepared me slightly to the screams and cries of 2 newborn babies in isolation. What it did though, was make me appreciate the silence whenever I had the chance to experience it. It was comforting to adjust to the dramatic change in lifestyle. Felt like a natural progression.

I may not see 1% of the live music I once enjoyed, but I now see 100% of the beauty of raising children in this world.

Enjoy this film as it's a journey / experience that should be rewarded for it's commitment to life in general.

Props too for casting Riz Ahmed & Olivia Cooke. They were prefect.

4 and a half decibels out of 5

Tenet (2020)

...not quite a 10 though

[9/10 · 24 September 2020]

S A T O R - S + A + T + O + R = 19 + 1 + 20 + 15 + 18 = 73 - 7 + 3 = 10 - 1 A R E P O - A + R + E + P + O = 1 + 18 + 5 + 16 + 15 = 55 - 5 + 5 = 10 - 1 T E N E T - T + E + N + E + T = 20 + 5 + 14 + 5 + 20 = 64 - 6 + 4 = 10 - 1 O P E R A - O + P + E + R + A = 15 + 16 + 5 + 18 + 1 = 55 - 5 + 5 = 10 - 1 R O T A S - R + O + T + A + S = 18 + 15 + 20 + 1 + 19 = 73 - 7 + 3 = 10 - 1

Persona (1966)

Midway through I was like...

[10/10 · 16 May 2020]

Midway through I was like, they're the same person(A) for sure. (B)ut on final thought, it made more sense that Bergman wanted me to think that. Other than perceiving to be pretentious, why not show it how it is. What you see is what you get. One woman, silent and content in her ways, considered mentally ill. The other, appearing healthy and there to help - wishes to be like her new friend/patient. Grass is always greener for Alma. Elizabeth however has accepted her fate. Two sides of differents coins.

Devs (2020)

Silicon Valley of Plenty

[10/10 · 12 May 2020]

Wasn't sure about Nick Offerman channeling a dumb Gilfoyle, despite being a tech genius... but jeez, this is a great sci-fi miniseries. An original screenplay with an editor that complements the theme and bingo - that's Devs, baby! Sync your eyeballs on this simulation before Alex Garland pulls out the usb from your matrix.

Pups (1999)

Puppy Wants a Piece of the American Pie

[8/10 · 12 May 2020]

Just remembered watching this film in 1999. I was the same age as the 'Pups' at the time it was made, the film had quite an impact on me. It really captures the head space of the American youth, in particular the ones with unstable, underlining mental conditions. In addition to the environment they're forced to live in/through.

Directed by Ashley Baron-Cohen (cousin to Borat turned Spy, Sacha) and featuring a young Mischa Barton and an aging Burt Reynolds. However, it is Cameron Van Hoy as Stevie that steals the show.

Defiantly worth checking out, here is my favourite scene/passage from the film when a reporter interviews Stevie to determine his motive;

• What do you want to be when you get older?

"Don't want to be an adult"

• Why not?

"I mean, all they do is think weird, act weird, talk weird, I mean all they think about is money money money money! It's stupid."

• Stevie, we're in a bank full of money and you're trying to steal it...

Extraction (2020)

Uncharted™

[8/10 · 12 May 2020]

This is pretty much Uncharted™ on the hardest difficulty. Drake is now a lost, beaten up alcoholic after losing Elena in an unrelated Xbox incident. He then accepts a mission to extract a kid with treasure up his bum. The rest is history.