alexander-iv Reviews

Black Widow (2021)

Hot garbage

[3/10 · 3 August 2021]

I'm giving this a 3/10 because I liked the furniture and scenery in nearly all the shots. This is a really generous score all things considered.

With the lazy story telling, bad acting and superfluous CGI, this is in fact not even worth a single star out of ten. The fake russian accents, not even worthy of John Milius' Red Dawn from 1980s, make this piece some of the most embarrassing and sloppy russophobic propaganda since the 60s.

In 100 years of cinema, one would think that the art would evolve, not devolve. Sad to see.

Don't waste your time.

Mortal Kombat (2021)

Not even Mortal Kombat brand can save this

[3/10 · 5 May 2021]

If you're working on an iconic franchise like Mortal Kombat, with all the heavy lifting already done by the creators of it, at least put some effort into writing a proper script and dialogue.

The 2021 return of Mortal Kombat to the movie screen is plagued by horrible, weird dialogue that will make you wince from the embarrassment of having heard it, and frantic, disjointed exposition. Characters are introduced in the most clumsy, cringe-inducing and illogical ways. As if it was penned by a group of twelve-year olds during a lunch break.

Of course, this is not a movie one watches for the story, but some standards have to be followed in a high-budget production as this was.

The only saving grace of this 1h 50m flotsam are the special effects and the fighting scenes, which are masterfully done and beautifully shot.

But with such a proposition, you might as well just play the games for two hours and get more value out of your time.

Fargo: Raddoppiarlo (2020) Season 4, Episode 3

Total garbage

[1/10 · 22 November 2020]

The writing, the characters, the unrealistic interpretation of the 50s... the entire *PREMISE* -- abysmal!

Everything in this season is stupid, ridiculous and unbelievable.

When was Fargo ever about silliness and slapstick? The robbery scene with obnoxious farting and barfing, is so unbelievable that it's hard to imagine whoever wrote it to be of sound mind or sober even.

What goes on inside the head of Noah Hawley? What is going on inside the head(s) of the people who hired him? Questions that need to be answered for sure.

Fargo's name might be ruined forever by this season. The Coen brothers better get back behind the steering wheel for season 5, if there will be one, to set things straight.

Fargo: Lay Away (2020) Season 4, Episode 7

Tripe

[1/10 · 19 November 2020]

Just like the year 2020, this Fargo Season started bad, and it's getting worse as it goes along.

Writing and acting is complete abysmal non-sense.

I feel sorry for the costume and scenery people who have their names attached to this garbage. They did a good job.

Don't waste your time.

Death Wish (2018)

A disgrace to the original

[3/10 · 16 November 2018]

Anyone who has been out of diapers for the past 30 years knows and loves the original Death Wish, its sharp commentary on the human condition and the perils of progressiveness. Bronson's bleeding-heart-liberal-turned-indignant-vigilante, Paul Kersey, manifested this in a simple, yet effective story that captured the hearts and minds of viewers; making it a timeless classic.

The 2018 remake, however, is yet another flotsam by talentless hack Eli Roth. The obnoxious director who brought us low-effort, revulsive productions like Hostel 1 & 2, Cabin Fever among others.

In this movie, Bruce Willis is trying his best to carry the poorly reminagined story line which feels like it was drafted on a piece of used toilet paper. Beside the awkward acting and delivery by the whole cast, you are treated to disjointed storytelling which crescendos in the usual gore that Roth routinely brings to the table.

Just another attempt to cash in on the zeitgeist of conservative reemergence by the reprehensible Eli Roth. I watched this so that you don't have to. Avoid. Go watch the original from 1974 instead.

Fist Fight (2017)

Horrible.

[1/10 · 26 February 2017]

Just horrible.

There's not much more to say about this. But IMDb has a five-line minimum for reviews, so I have to fill it up with something here.

I guess I can add that there's some sort of message in there somewhere, about participation trophies and taking responsibility for one's actions. But it's buried so far beneath unfunny dick jokes (yes, there is such a thing) and crass, endless swearing that was added just for the sake of swearing.

I never thought I would say this, but this may actually be a worse movie than "Grown Ups". Incredible.

Final words: You will be better off spending your time watching paint dry, and don't ever consider paying money for this garbage.

Death to the Supermodels (2005 Video)

Avoid it at all cost!

[1/10 · 1 December 2005]

OK, I never write reviews, this is in fact the first I have written on this site. I just felt compelled to warn people about this heinous abortion of a movie!

When I saw the title I immediately remembered the hilarious and original Drop Dead Gorgeous (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0157503/) and thought that this will be some sort of sequel (less funny like sequels usually are, but watchable). . .

Well, this movie is nothing like Drop Dead Gorgeous, this was one of the most horrible, unfunny and pretentious movies I have ever had the displeasure of seeing! AVOID AT ALL COST!