dudeman5685 Reviews

Supernatural: Route 666 (2006) Season 1, Episode 13

Far too preachy

[1 October 2006]

I liked the fact that the series tackled the issue of racism, and had felt that they would given the subtle social and political subtext of the show.

The message in the episode is far from subtle though, with the references to racism and the Civil Rights movement in nearly every scene, to the point of lecturing. I'm not defending racism, of course, just think this is a bit overbearing. Final product is rather disappointing with the social commentary and "supernatural" elements existing unevenly. In part the show is "Burning Mississippi" but then swithces abruptly into "The Highwayman". Still I'm glad that they finally gave Dean a romantic interest, and concur with the other viewer that they should keep Cassie as a recurring character. She is a good complement to Dean personality.

Häxan (1922)

Boring as Hell

[3/10 · 23 April 2006]

I had wanted to see this film forever. Finally, I came upon the Criterion edition at Frys and eagerly spent the $30 on it as soon as I had the money.

I want my money back.

I had been expecting a horror film, showcasing the innovative special effects, the costumes, puppetry, etc, that was supposed to be so terrifying and spooky. There was that IN ONE OR TWO sequences, mostly during Maria the Weavers narrative of the witches Sabbath, and a couple of shorter scenes. But thats it.

The only other interesting part of the movie is the long sequence when the monks are torturing and witch hunting through the village. While this does give a good human look at the Burning Times, the plot is predictable, and is nothing we haven't see elsewhere.

The other segments of the film are hardly worth watching. The parts where Christensen in his Devil out fit pops up and scares the monks or nuns or seduces women in their beds are more amusing than anything. But not "darkly humorous" just chimerical.

The opening and ending of the film have slight historical interest, either as a documentary on witchcraft or as a historical document on psychology during the 1920s.

Overall a somewhat interesting film, but not for everyone. Read closely and know what you are getting the next time you spend 30 dollars.

Pony Express Days (1940)

George Reeves as a young Buffalo Bill

[26 October 2005]

This was a short film made in 1940, back when they used to show features like this before or in between movies.

The plot is rather rather predicable -- and to my knowledge -- pretty historically inaccurate. It is about a privately owned parcel service that tries to link up Missouri and California. They believe their business will do better if they can get news of Abe Lincolns election to CA in record time, which upsets some Southern sympathizers who believe they won't get California to join the Confederacy if they know that Lincoln won. (?) What ever one wants to make of the plot, the important thing about the film is that absolutely beautiful western scenery in stunning technicolor, which seems to have been the real draw in the first place. In a time when very few films were in color -probably none that were shown with this - the audience must have really gotten a kick out of this films painting like cinematography and vivid action sequences.

It IS available on DVD -- I ran across it on the 1st season of "The Adventures of Superman"

From the Earth to the Moon (1958)

SDI this sh*t

[2/10 · 15 June 2005]

One commentator below remarked that if you wanted to see every SF movie ever made, sit through this once and never see it again.

Well, my objectives were a little less grandiose, but when I got a chance to see this on TCM, I was excited that I would be able to view this, and mark one movie off the IL'IMDb list.

Then the movie came on. At first I thought that all the talk and set up would shortly be followed by the blast off. I waited through scene after incomprehensible scene, as cannons are fired, arms dealers jibe, and former Pres. Ulysses S. Grant shows up.I don't mind talky sf pictures when the talk means something (The Day the Earth Stood Still is great), but this is just drivel. By the time the rocket is launch I can't even say whats going on.

Once finally in space, the audience is subject to an excruciatingly predictable, and poorly rendered, make-plot about one of the passengers sabotaging the rocket, a pretty girl stowaway and the usual stuff that was done much better in "The Woman in the Moon" or "Rocketship X-M"

But what really is the nail in the coffin in this is the romance between the stowaway and the young, blond pilot. It is so obviously contrived, with dialog seemingly taken directly out of mainstream romance movies of that day, that one finds himself yelling WTF?! out loud.

An example "Oh, Whatsyourname, all I know is that when the rocket does explode, please hold me. I want to die in your arms" Might have worked for the complete lack of chemistry between actors.

The movies one saving grace is its FX. Big budget, color, space movies from this period are actually quite rare, and this is a chance to see some fair eye candy from a relatively early date.

Oh, and another quote (Father to girl, after discussing their inevitable death on the rocket) "Well all that matters right now is that you have cooked us a good meal"

Runt Page (1932)

Babies with guns, babies with axes and Shirley Temple nude!

[8 May 2005]

Well what can I say.

This was back when Hollywood would make little filler pieces like this with dogs or babies running around with adult voice overs.

The rug rats in this feature are being coaxed off-camera to perform a one acted stock gangster plot in their diapers, playing with cards, gangster hats, the afore mentioned weapons, etc.

There is also Shirley here, about 3-4 years old, as one of the gangsters girl friends. Back then they apparently thought nothing of having her topless.

No real "cinematic value" to speak of, but this is the kinda thing our grandparents got a kick out of in between flicks.

Also the DVD box (Little Miss Marker) says this is STs first movie.

Dracula: The Series (1990–1991)

Dracula: the family show

[12 December 2004]

Its on DVD. I got the first 11 episodes off the 5.99 rack at Best Buy.

This show is corny. Very corny. But it knows it is and doesn't take it self too seriously. I believe this was a kids show aimed at army brats and expatriots kids in Europe. It really bizarre how this is supposed to be in Spain or somewhere and every one, including the police captain, speak with an American accent. I love how Sophie is always making snide comments about Americans but doesn't even attempt to hide her accent.

Its nice show for Vampire completest and Americans living abroad with kids.

(BTW, Geraint Wyn Davies is in this as a vampire. This was two years before "Forever Knight". And Mia Kershner is in this as Sophie, long before her staring role in "The L Word.")

Beavis and Butt-Head (1993–2011)

Beavis and Butt-head do Society

[23 September 2004]

In 2004 an English professor told a college sophomore to free write for 30 minutes. This is the result.

Beavis and Butt-head are cool. They spoke for the inner frustrations of a generation. Beavis was the son of a flower child and a soldier on 2 month 30 day leave from Vietnam. Butt-head was the illegitimate son of Gov. Bill Clinton. They met in March 1992 at a conference on nuclear power in Berkeley, CA. At the time Beavis was an engineering major and Butt-head was in his first year of pre-med. Both were involved in the anti-war movement. Although the war had ended almost 20 years beforehand, activists were still protesting that we had ever gone. Then a stroke of genius hit Butt-head -- the two would start a TV show in which two people sat on a couch and and commented on whatever the world showed them. He meant for the show to be a biting indictment of post-industrial capitalist society. Beavis agreed, and suggested they use music videos as the main conduit of critical observation of the oppression that middle class white males in a first world country had to endure. The show was an incredible success. It showed millions around the world the alienation that the system produces in todays youth. As Beavis and Butt-head sat watching cable television in a house were you never saw any parents, or any one pay any bills, you could literally smell the anger that these yuth felt. As they constantly ate tacos and nachos, and were on a never ending quest for sluts and beer, you could see the solidarity that these people felt for women and oppressed minorities in the United States. And in their never realized dream of joining the cool gang, we see the alienation that capitalism produces between man and man. By 1997 their work was done; they had revealed their radical message for millions around the world, and the world would never be the same.

Not bad for something off the top of my head, eh?

Alien vs. Predator (2004)

Heavily influenced by H.P. Lovecraft

[14 August 2004]

The more I watched this movie, the more I realized that the screenwriters must have be familiar with Lovecraft's novel "At the Mountains of Madness" in which an expedition to Antartica finds a million year old temple in which primitive humans worshiped aliens as gods. The flashback to primitive Earth, the pictoglyphs detailing the "Cthulu" even the lay out of the temple reminds me of the one described in "Lost City"

I'm not complaining. I was surprised, even delighted, to see Lovecraftian themes in a big budget picture for once. Some may not like the fact that it had to show up in the Aliens/Predator franchise, but Lovecrafts name doesn't have very much box office draw. (They made a Mountains of Madness film in '95. No one cared.)

Other than that there is little I can say. (SPOILER) Towards the end the only survivor, a female, makes a kind of pact with the Predators. This might seem odd, but when you think about it, that is the most rational conclusion: the Predators are smarter than the Aliens, have the ability to reason, while the Aliens are more like insects, they do what their natural instincts and hive mentality tell them. After all it is the Predators that have weapons, build ships, wear clothes... Furthermore if the Predators win, what happens? A dozen or so people get knocked off every hundred years. If the Aliens win we have a global holocaust. The ending may seem a little corny, kinda Anne Rice but for Predators instead of vampires, but its really the only plausible way a human could survive this situation. (END SPOILER)

This is a good movie if you take it for what it is. Great visuals and FX, a few explosions, action and suspense. But they should really recognize Lovecrafts influence.

Last Action Hero (1993)

Arnold and Danny explore literary theory

[9 August 2004]

I remembered going to see this movie when I was about 8, and taking it quite seriously. Now I am about twenty and last night, after much trepidation, I put the disc into my DVD player to see it again after about nine years. It was a completely different film than what I remembered.You know what the man says about not being able to cross the same river twice?

Most obvious was the shockingly corny "action movie" sequence. I could remember things like the women wearing funny clothes, people not being able to say cuss words, the hero always winning, etc. But now, having seen over the years so many Miami Vices, Lethal Weapons, and Die Hards, not to mention the "traffic thriller" scenes in Terminator 3, I realize "Hey, they're making fun of it!" (They killed my favorite second cousin. Big mistake!) It was always obvious that Arnold was going to meet the charectars that he played, but at the time I first saw it I didn't realize the deeper meaning to all that. (Mom wouldn't let me go see very many action films)

The film doesn't work for some people because it slips from action parody into literary criticism too easily. They should have spent more time in the real world at the beginning to highlight difference between the real world and the "fairy tale" world of Jack Slater. There were alot of things I'd forgotten about when they come back. Arnold --"I've never just sat down and talked to a women. It feels good." "I like classical music."

The crux of the movie comes when Death from "Seven Seals" walks up to Jack and Danny in the theater. The moral: the hardships of life come to us all, but not in the movies. In the movies every thing is OK.

(spoiler) but at the very end we hear Arnold talking to his boss "I don't want to shoot people and blow up things anymore." A prophecy fullfilled?

Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders (1996 Video)

Worst movie EVER!

[30 September 2003]

SPOILERS (LIKE IT MATTERS)I saw this, like most of you, on MST3K. In fact it was the first time I had ever watch a whole episode, those things come on so damn early. Any way, Pearl starts the film and even though I'm not expecting much I am taken aback by the sheer inaneness of this waste of celluloid.

After the opening credits (best part of the movie) we cut to a man and his grandson sitting on a couch. The grandfather character was apparently played by a big name actor from the seventies. I never hear of him, hell I'm probably old enough to be his nurse! When the TV goes out he tells his grandson a story, aw... Well thats nice isn't it? As grandpa starts the story Merlin is opening up a small business in a San Francisco stipmall and completely redesigns it without permission from the landlord. In fact, I don't think he paid rent either. The first couple that walks in is a store review and his wife. Acting was terrible, especially the reviewer, a high school student could literally do better. Subtly he explains the faults of the shop to the proprietor who give him a book to take home while his wife is having her mind read by his assistant. Back at the jerkcave the guy starts using the book for, you guessed it, material gain, but when he uses it too much a demon comes in through his mirror and turns him into a baby, so his wife can finally live out her maternal instincts.

Grandpa, did Merlin open a head shop? No sit down and listen Timmy.

For awhile I couldn't figure out what was going on in the second part of the film, but it seems they filmed a few more shots of Merlin fitting in in San Francisco and at the park looking for his monkey, with a pencil drawing, then recut another film. I've heard of stock footage, but this is ridiculous. The whole rest of the film is cut from another movie! And it is so obvious, the way is Merlin never in the same shot as the other characters, the film quality. Given the other reviews you can figure out the plot from here, but needless to say I'ts incomprehensible why Granpa would tell this to his kid.

I wouldn't wish this movie on my worst enemy. It should be a considered a human rights violation. I'll contact Amnesty International.

The Last House on the Left (1972)

Certainly one of the most interesting films I have seen in a while

[22 September 2003]

I picked this up with some of my graduation money because it was Wes' first film. I thought, you know, I could get the family together and we could all watch a nice little horror film. Damn! I had no idea Wes Craven was ever involved in some thing like this!

Luckily, because my brother was impaitent at the pace, music, and film quality, we had to stop as soon as they first cut to the gang of murderers...BEFORE THEY KILLED ONE HIPPIE! Anyway when I did get to watch this movie with my mother it shocked her enough to walk out. I kept my eyes one it for the historical interest, but still had a hard time watching it. I watch horror movies all the time, and can usually endure even the most lurid sequences, but this movie still made my stomach cringe.

Maybe its because the villains are shown to be so human, and they are torturing people just as shallow and just as ethical as any girl you'd meet next door, and the torture is so graphic, man's inhumanity to man you know-- makes this so much more terrifying than any of the super-natural horror the filmmakers make later in their careers.

Nevertheless, Craven develops themes that would reappear frequently in his later work: incompetent, almost humorous cops; brave teenage heroine; physcotic killers etc. The structure, if not the content, of the film isn't altogether out side mainstream Judeo-Christian morality-- in fact it is a lesson in paternal ethics that some of todays youth (and their parents) would do well to learn. Bill Bennet would approve.

Footnote: In the direction the killers are going in, the house where the killers meet their fate would be on the right hand side.

Return of the Living Dead III (1993)

"Killer"

[21 August 2003]

SPOILERS:So I have nothing better to do one night and I happen upon the last of the "Return of the Living Dead 3" So I decide, "Ah, what to hell, we're just at the begaining of this and I havn't seen a ROTLD movie yet," So I call mom in and we watch "Return of the Living Dead 3" expecting, well, what one would expect from a movie on late at night on the Sci-Fi channel called "Return of the Living Dead 3"

Well, it seems when you work with volunteer actors and writers you get what you pay for! This can be a fun movie to watch with other people to kinda laugh at and comment upon Scream style. The son of whoever it is who heads the "Zombie Command" of the U. S. Army (200 ways to be a soldier!) sneaks in to the base to empress his girlfriend...with hardly ANY effort. When they see whats going on it looks like some kind of "bondage" film.

Anyway, when they get home the general tells the kid that they're going to OKC for some inexorible reason. This sets the kid off and he runs away to join a rock band in Seattle! In a motorcycle no less! Predict-ably they have an accident and they sneak into the lab with even less effort to use one of the zombie reanimating gases to revive her. Can't you buy that in Mexico? Since she wasn't bit by a zombie, she doesn't exactly become a "dead" but more like a classical zombie that can't feel pain so she can cut and pierce her self to her hearts delight. An interesting concept, but not attractive at all.

Anyway in escaping the soldiers (er.. the people in green PJs) they run into a gang of ruthless Mexican stereotypes (named Santo & Filipe!)and fun ensues! Evan after she starts eating brains and cutting herself weird this guy won't give up on saving her, it gets annoying, his "love" for this chick only causes more problems for everyone concerned than Johnson's "Great Society" did. His only good idea is to incinerate them both at the end.

I like this movie. It has the courage to speak out and tell truth about what the Military is doing in its it's Zombie research programs.

Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle (2003)

Well the lick wasn't there but...

[29 June 2003]

Part of the reason I went to see this over that British zombie flick was the promise that Demi Moore was going to lick Cameron Diazs' face, as they were hinting in the previews and at the MTV movie awards. Well that got cut, and, even though I understand that the producers thought it would turn off mothers taking their daughters to see this movie, I still think it could have used it.

Anyway the film wasn't as bad (or good depending on your dispostion) than I thought it was going to be. Had alot of nice action and comedy senarios; but it wasn't the kind of soft-core porn that parents protect their children from (like MTV, commercials, PETA campaigns, Cosmo) I only feel sorry for the singer Pink, who, while promoting the movie on MTV, had to lick a girl's face. Ahh, now people are going to start thinking he likes girls! I mean thats why he got the sex change in the first place.

Al-ayyam al-tawila (1980)

Saddamite propaganda

[10 April 2003]

I tried to post a message on here when I first added the information about Saddam's "contributions" to the movie industry. The IMDB editors must have been as effective as the Republican Guards because its been three weeks and I haven't seen it here! I mainly made the points that the two plot outliners have made (post after this was added to the "Saddam page") and that the clips I saw looked like this movie had real bad film quality: black and white, with a blueish tint, and scratchy. Keep in mind this was made in 1980 and theoretically would have had all the resources of the state behind it.

Old San Francisco (1927)

Racist, but it had its moments

[28 February 2003]

Yeah I can agree with most of what the other reviewer said. There's no defending a movie with the lines "and it pierced his wicked Mongol heart" from charges of racism. But you can get into the plot and appreciate some of the cinematography, especialy the rancho and the Chinamens shrine. Might also point out that in the end it is the other Chinam-- er, Asian Americans who put the evil slumlord to justice.

Gorgo Versus Godzilla (1969)

Gorgo vs. Servo

[16 February 2003]

You know this film was shown on Mystery Science Theatre 3000, and they are putting alot of those on DVD now, along with the uncut version as a "special" feature. Mabye they'll put this one out soon. I haven't seen this episode yet but considering the fun they had with Gamera movies...

Morocco (1930)

The Kiss makes this movie

[16 February 2003]

This was one of the rare occasions when a movie can be both really good and really bad. I agreed that the camera work and cinamatography where excellent, as was most of the acting. But where did they dig up this script! Algeria? It seems like nothing is going on forever which sucks because you really want to know what happens to the main char-acters. The only reason I'd see this movie again would be the first girl-girl kiss on American performed by Marlene Dietrich.

Parsifal (1904)

Wagner and Edison's Parsival

[1 December 2002]

This was the first film made on an Arthurian subject, I'm posting this entry from the Camelot Projects Filmography: Parsifal (1904).

United States; dir. Edwin J. Porter; Edison.

Cast: Adelaide Fitz-Allen and Robert Whittier.

Using a highly exaggerated style of acting, interspersed with trick camera effects, a group of actors present the following scenes from Wagner's opera: Parsifal Ascends the Throne, Ruins of A Magic Garden, Exterior of Klingson's Castle, Magic Garden, Interior of the Temple, Scene Outside the Temple, Return of Parsifal, and In the Woods. With this film, Edison had hoped to capitalize on the success of the 1903 stage production of the opera in New York, but the film's run had to be shortened when the owner of the copyright successfully sued Edison for using the script without permission.

Review:

Optical Lantern and Cinematograph Journal 1 (1905): 52.

The Mysterious Island (1929)

Kept me up just to see the sea people

[24 November 2002]

I saw this a one AM last week on a TMC linel Barrymore marathon.C'mon anything thats labeled sci-fi and 1929 you just gotta love.This semi-talkie has the usual Vernian speculation (distant cousins of man living in the sea a la Blacklagoon) combined with twenties class conflict and Ceasarianism. But the real show is the special effects. Forgive me but those old silent FX just seem so much more "special" than the ones we have to day. Their cool if nothing for their age and a unique surreal quality that you don't see in talkies. Don't beleive me just ask the sea people.

Momotaro, Sacred Sailors (1945)

First Japanese Anime film

[14 November 2002]

I've been looking forever for this. As the title might suggest (Momotaro's Divine Sea Warriors) this, the first full length animated Japanese film, was a propaganda cartoon comissioned by the Navy to spread morale among youngsters. It was premiered just weeks before the surrender (which just shows its effectiveness) and was forgotten and for some reason neglected for years after the defeat. A copy was found in an old warehouse 1983 and a video was released in 1984. Whoever owns the copyright has shown understandable hesitation to distribute it in the West, or for that matter in other Asian countries.

From what I gather from the Anime encyclopedia, which is the source of the above facts by the way, the film starts out with several animals (a monkey, a rabbit, etc) training for the Navy when on graduation the monkeys younger brother loses his siblings cap and it falls into a river, and all the animals jump down into the river to retrieve it. Then we are inexplicably transported to a Pacific Island, where another group of animals is teaching the native youngsters how to play Japanese games (good sense of Imperialism here) but soon an airplane arrives caryring Momotaro, a traditional Japanese folk hero, with his traditional allies, our friends from the Navy academy. Most of them join naval infantry, but the rabbit becomes a pilot.

The movie gets blatent when a British memo is intercepted and the little band of (probably) cute animals and fairy tale characters drive the Brits out of the island. In the final sequence we see the "divine warrior" back in Japan celebrating their victory, then playing parachute over a map of the US.

It's 64 min. which is pretty typical for a first animation feature, and would be of great historical interest, not only to disgruntle Pokemon fans, but also a superb example of self-delusion & propaganda. And I'm sure it would have it's own surreal qualities.