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AaronBrungardt
Reviews
Once Upon a Time in Mexico (2003)
How do you say convoluted in Spanish?
I don't know, but I know how you say it in English: Once Upon a Time in Mexico. Don't get me wrong I like Robert Rodriguez (exception of Spy Kids: Uno, Dos, Tres) but this movie tried to do WAY too much. There are way too many unique characters to follow and too many stories going on at the same time. I can usually follow complicated plots in most films but this one made my head spin, in a bad way. On the positive side it is beautifully shot and has pretty much sold me on films in High Def. The real stand-out performance in this movie goes to Ruben Blades and unfortunately not to Johnny Depp. Willem Dafoe also does a good job of making us believe he's not white, but barely. I think this movie pales in comparison to Desperado and El Mariachi in most ways except visual effects. I would call this a good effort if it weren't for the fact that it's the third film in a quasi-trilogy and the director is neither a first-timer nor a poor man's Tarantino. Rodriguez is capable of better and has shown it more than once before, even in extemely low-budget films like El Mariachi. **** out of 10.
Daredevil (2003)
Makes Gigli look like a Masterpiece (some spoilers)
This movie was just plain old over-the-top bad. Do you think they could have possibly shot any of the stunt sequences in live-action real-time? Every fight scene appears to have been sped up. Once or twice might have been exceptable but this movie does it every time. Then every stunt shot was done with CGI or wires and looks clearly fake. What's wrong with hiring, I don't know, STUNTMEN?! Worst of all is that somehow Daredevil can leap over ten feet without any assistance from, how do you say, SPECIAL POWERS. And did Daredevil have to do a backflip every time he left the ground? They really should have called this Backflip: The Movie. Also, you've got Colin Farrell, a great actor, spoiting off three word phrases like he's doing a bad Irish Tarzan impression. And why does DareDevil sleep in a water tank? That never even got touched upon for the non-comic reader. I was never a big fan of the comic book and I'm even less of a fan now. Now they're going to make Elektra, a movie based on a character who dies in this cruddy film. Awful. Then I guess Mark Steven Johnson is going to go screw up Ghost Rider for the rest of the world. Thanks a lot. * out of 10.
Hollywood Homicide (2003)
I sure hope everyone got paid up front...
because this movie was terrible. First of all, musicians or pseudomusicians (rappers) should never be cast in movies (with the exception of Mos Def). Secondly, is this movie a comedy or an action movie? The action isn't suspenseful and the comedy is rarely funny (exceptions Hartnett driving the minivan & Ford's lude gesture in the interrogation scene). Thirdly, Isaiah Washington is not a good actor (time to find a new career buddy, sorry). Fourthly (if that's even a word), there is a point where the number of unusual characters gets annoying. In Hollywood Homicides case, about 20 minutes in. Fifthly, when in the history of detectives or cop movies is the Captain only referred to by first name both in the dialogue and the credits? Never; there must be a reason for this. Sixthly, not every character needs a love interest. This movie may have actually been better had Harrison Ford not had a "ladyfriend". Seventhly, in what universe can a cop fire his weapon at a vehicle in public without an investigation? Apparently in Sheltonland. Eigthly and finally, with a former detective as co-writer and advisor all previously said mistakes in realism should be nonexistant. Therefore, if you wish to see a buddy/cop movie that is both funny and action packed rent Lethal Weapon 1,3, or 4. These were and are how it's supposed to be done. Hollywood Homicide: 2 stars out of 10.
Road House (1989)
A Double Threat, A Minimal Treat
This movie's got everything a good ol' boy and his old lady could ever hope for: part Dukes of Hazard, part Dirty Dancing. Why they ever changed the villain's name from Boss Hog to Brad Wesley I'll never know. And you've got to love it when your movies main character is a bouncer with a degree in philosophy from NYU... and he killed a guy in Memphis. What could possibly be worse than that? Supporting characters who can only be described by name due to their randomness and the frivolity of their sporatic lines of dialogue. But it gets better, Terry Funk is in this movie!!! Having said all that I watched this movie from beginning to end as if I were waiting for a million dollar trivia question to pop up on the screen immediately afterward. Though I'm sure this wasn't the proudest moment in Patrick Swayze's, Sam Elliot's or Keith David's career, this movie is at least watchable. I'm also sure, to some, this may have been their Citizen Kane and it is them whom I feel most sorry for. 2 and 1/4 stars out of 10.
Summer Catch (2001)
worse than another players strike
Summer Catch is, by far, the worst film I've seen since Exit Wounds. It made me ashamed to watch movies and if I ever saw it again I would surely take my own life. I will not even dignify this "flick" by summarizing the plot. All I will say is I have seen better writing on cancelled UPN sitcoms.
As far as the acting is concerned, Freddie Prinze Jr. is the worst young "actor" this side of Britney Spears. The thing that saddens me most is that it took me a while to realize that. Jessica Biel is hot and always bra-less and horribly melodramatic. After the Tremors sequels, I didn't think Fred Ward could be in a worse movie. John C. McGinley is the only good actor in this movie but his part is so small (yes, there are small parts) and badly written that even his acting skills couldn't save it. Now I have some questions. How did they get Hank Aaron in this movie? I'm a huge baseball fan and having him play a tiny part in it is a disgrace and irresponsible.
This film proves to me that the Hollywood machine in this N'Sync driven society of recent years will take any lame script and any young "bankable" named actor and waste a perfectly good opportunity to make a quality film. Next time Hollywood producers, save your money, and leave Hank Aaron out of it.