team-dave Reviews

It Snows in Benidorm (2020)

Truly terrible

[2/10 · 14 March 2024]

Hours of boring sadness with Spall literally acting confused the entire length of the movie. Nothing happens at all. The brother he's looking for isn't anywhere and no-one wants to help him. The best scenes are at the beginning of the movie at the bank he works for.

I'm not sure what I'm going to write another 300 characters about. This movie is terrible.

What else to say? Benidorm looks to be a pretty horrible place, so if the intent was to make it a travel special for Spain, then it hasn't worked. There's an entire street with Union Jack flags in it - what?!

30 characters to go. The end credits are rolling now. How do movies like this get made?

Black Crab (2022)

Cold, so cold

[6/10 · 24 March 2022]

Starts off with a bang and paces along as you get swept up with Caroline Edh and her fight with an unknown enemy in the cold. Halfway through though it loses its way when a moral dilemma splits Caroline's team and derails the mission. I enjoyed the scale of the task that they faced (skating miles and miles across a frozen sea to a distant island) but the all or nothing ending kind of ruined it. Great concept but unfortunately it limped along to the ending when we should really have been putting on a burst of speed to produce a victory.

Modern/Love in 7 Short Films (2019)

Uneven but pleasant

[6/10 · 24 January 2022]

Uneven but pleasant set of tales about modern love, relationships and dating.

Enjoyed The Girlfriend Experience (not quite what you imagine it to be) and The Brunchers the most of the seven tales. The chemistry between Natalie Dormer and Tom Burke (the dude who played Cormoran Strike) was great and their tale was enhanced by a great cameo from Rufus Sewell.

Unfortunately the movie ended with the worst tale, The Sure Thing. This was definitely no relation to the excellent 80s movie of the same name. Instead this story set in a coffee house dragged meaninglessly in a groundhog day homage. It sort of brought the whole movie down a notch. Could probably have been left out.

Black Summer: Card Game (2021) Season 2, Episode 3

In the dark

[2/10 · 20 June 2021]

Almost this entire episode is filmed completely in the dark with the odd flashlight every now and then. It's basically unwatchable.

Hunter Killer (2018)

Underwater action thriller

[7/10 · 2 May 2021]

Plenty of action in this sub thriller as the world stands poised for a new world war. Our hero, played by Gerard Butler, must fend off the insolence of his 'by the rules' colleagues, the insanity of a mad Russian general, and the idiocy of American politicians. Great underwater scenes along with some excellent rescue action from some special forces dudes. The only flaw (as ever) is with Gary Oldman's overacting. Can't have everything and he isn't in it much so ignorable.

It's entertaining stuff, well made, and worth a watch.

Villains (I) (2019)

Nothing much happens

[4/10 · 6 April 2021]

There's the odd joke and Jeffrey Donovan is pretty good in it. There seems no reason for anyone's crazed behaviour in this. It's a slice-of-life weirdo movie.

Best part is the excellent end title sequence. Great animation by Matt Reynolds and matched with a top punk song. Worth watching just for that.

Downhill (I) (2020)

Awful

[3/10 · 12 January 2021]

Not funny. Not interesting.

Joyless couple and their indulged sons go on skiing holiday. Wife hates husband. Husband confused. The end.

Literally, Right Before Aaron (2017)

Unwatchable

[2/10 · 20 January 2019]

Good cast. Terrible plot. Nice guy doesn't understand why he is dumped. Various people try to help him. Everyone gets bored on the way. Avoid.

The Dinner (I) (2017)

Incomprehensible nonsense

[1/10 · 13 September 2018]

Nothing in this movie makes sense. You have been warned.

To Rome with Love (2012)

Extraordinarily Bad

[1/10 · 8 March 2018]

Unwatchable nonsense as we flit between four stories that are too boring to reveal here.

The music is ok though.