I cannot begin to describe how monumentally disappointed I was with this film. I am a huge fan of Austin Powers but this has nearly ruined it for me!
Mike Myers has completely lost sight of the genius that made Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery the film that it was. The original concept was brilliant. It was funny, witty and original and was an excellent lampoon of the secret agent/spy genre, sending up everything from James Bond to In Like Flint. This vision was somewhat lost in Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me but it was still a good sequel. The gags were faster and, in some cases, funnier. Distinctly different from the original, Spy Who Shagged Me was witty and original and gave us the unique Mini-Me! And, lest we forget, the scene where Dr. Evil's chair breaks down. "I need an old priest and a young priest! The power of Christ compels you, the power of Christ compels you!"
Sadly, the wit, humour and originality has been completely lost and what we're left with is a badly made, shoddy, jumbled-up mess of a film. It has clearly been the subject of some pretty sloppy editing, sudden script changes and, possibly, visionary disputes between writer (Myers) and director (Jay Roache).
The storyline behind 'Goldmember' is completely inexplicable and I'm not even going to bother writing a blerb about the plot because I honestly can't tell you what this film was about, I haven't a clue! This is a shame because this was one of the funniest parts of the first two films. Dr. Evil's plans were stupid but they were exactly the kind of stupid plans that the old Bond villains would have deemed feasible! Even Drax or Blofeld would have had trouble swallowing Dr. Evil's plan in Goldmember.
This problem with the plot is repeated with the cast. Almost every character is apparently pointless and all the time traveling left me so confused I didn't know where or when we were supposed to be half the time. Goldmember himself is a completely stupid character, who can only be described as a pointless, half naked Dutchman with a solid gold wedding tackle, who eats his own skin! Sir Michael Caine was, however, excellent but God knows why he agreed to do it.
The underrated Seth Green reprises his role as Dr. Evil's wayward son, Scott Evil. Sadly, Myers chose to downplay the awkward father/son relationship aspect of the Evils and tried to make them bond in this film. The result was nowhere near as funny as the dysfunctional relationship in the first two films. Verne Troyer returns as Mini-Me, Michael York as Basil Exposition, Robert Wagner as Number Two, and Mindy Sterling as Frau Farbissina. The only other notable addition was The Wonder Years' Fred Savage as 'The Mole'. The Mole, who has a huge hairy mole on his face, caused the only other remotely funny scene in the film, where Austin Powers makes a Basil Fawltyesque attempt, unsuccessfully, not to mention the mole (incidentally, however, we had already seen this in the trailer).
The Austin Powers francise has been horrifically corrupted by Hollywood and the product-placement isn't even funny anymore (see also, Spider-man, Men In Black 2, etc.). The celebrity guest stars are numerous as usual and include: Tom Cruise, Gwyneth Paltrow, Kevin Spacey, Danny DeVito, John Travolta, Steven Spielberg (annoyingly referred to as "Sir Steve" throughout his stint), Britney Spears, and Ozzy Osborne and Family. The only good guest-spot went to Nathan Lane, who also delivered one of the only other funny segments of the film.
Also, Jeanette Charles has been hired once again to play the "Queen of England" in the scene where Austin in knighted, despite bearing absolutely no resemblance to our own dear Queen whatsoever. Just to annoy me, as an ardent monarchist, if you care (which nobody will), she wears the Sash of the Order of the Garter over the wrong shoulder and the Garter Star on the wrong side. (This would normally have amused me, as in The Spy Who Shagged Me where the army colonel has completely the wrong uniform on, but because the film was so crap it just compounded my annoyance.)
The whole film is just awful and crushingly disappointing and myself and my friends left the cinema close to tears. Only real die-hard Austin Powers fans will enjoy this film, the kind of nerds that will enjoy it no matter how lame it becomes or people whose sense of humour is so lacking in sophistication that penis jokes are all that is required. I myself require a little bit more.
Once last bone of contention, from my own petty nationalistic point of view. I always liked Austin Powers because of the Union Jacks everywhere and because, like the Bond films, it made you proud to be British. It was suddenly like it was cool again, a far cry from all the Hollywood villains with upper-class English accents. Sadly, Myers (a Canadian and, thus, a Commonwealth cousin) must be under some pressure from the Hollywood machine. We saw the usually Union Flag bedecked opening sequence have a few star-spangled banners thrown in and Elizabeth Hurley's Vanessa Kensington was replaced with the more than welcome sight of Heather Graham's Felicity Shagwell in The Spy Who Shagged Me. Now, in Goldmember, we get yet another American, this time Beyonce Knowles as Foxxy Cleopatra. Miss Knowles may be a good singer but her acting ability makes Liz Hurley look like she went to RADA.
For God sake don't watch this film unless you're a brain-dead vegetable. Buy the first, rent the second but forget this one. I wish I could.
1/10 (and that just because of The Mole!)
Mike Myers has completely lost sight of the genius that made Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery the film that it was. The original concept was brilliant. It was funny, witty and original and was an excellent lampoon of the secret agent/spy genre, sending up everything from James Bond to In Like Flint. This vision was somewhat lost in Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me but it was still a good sequel. The gags were faster and, in some cases, funnier. Distinctly different from the original, Spy Who Shagged Me was witty and original and gave us the unique Mini-Me! And, lest we forget, the scene where Dr. Evil's chair breaks down. "I need an old priest and a young priest! The power of Christ compels you, the power of Christ compels you!"
Sadly, the wit, humour and originality has been completely lost and what we're left with is a badly made, shoddy, jumbled-up mess of a film. It has clearly been the subject of some pretty sloppy editing, sudden script changes and, possibly, visionary disputes between writer (Myers) and director (Jay Roache).
The storyline behind 'Goldmember' is completely inexplicable and I'm not even going to bother writing a blerb about the plot because I honestly can't tell you what this film was about, I haven't a clue! This is a shame because this was one of the funniest parts of the first two films. Dr. Evil's plans were stupid but they were exactly the kind of stupid plans that the old Bond villains would have deemed feasible! Even Drax or Blofeld would have had trouble swallowing Dr. Evil's plan in Goldmember.
This problem with the plot is repeated with the cast. Almost every character is apparently pointless and all the time traveling left me so confused I didn't know where or when we were supposed to be half the time. Goldmember himself is a completely stupid character, who can only be described as a pointless, half naked Dutchman with a solid gold wedding tackle, who eats his own skin! Sir Michael Caine was, however, excellent but God knows why he agreed to do it.
The underrated Seth Green reprises his role as Dr. Evil's wayward son, Scott Evil. Sadly, Myers chose to downplay the awkward father/son relationship aspect of the Evils and tried to make them bond in this film. The result was nowhere near as funny as the dysfunctional relationship in the first two films. Verne Troyer returns as Mini-Me, Michael York as Basil Exposition, Robert Wagner as Number Two, and Mindy Sterling as Frau Farbissina. The only other notable addition was The Wonder Years' Fred Savage as 'The Mole'. The Mole, who has a huge hairy mole on his face, caused the only other remotely funny scene in the film, where Austin Powers makes a Basil Fawltyesque attempt, unsuccessfully, not to mention the mole (incidentally, however, we had already seen this in the trailer).
The Austin Powers francise has been horrifically corrupted by Hollywood and the product-placement isn't even funny anymore (see also, Spider-man, Men In Black 2, etc.). The celebrity guest stars are numerous as usual and include: Tom Cruise, Gwyneth Paltrow, Kevin Spacey, Danny DeVito, John Travolta, Steven Spielberg (annoyingly referred to as "Sir Steve" throughout his stint), Britney Spears, and Ozzy Osborne and Family. The only good guest-spot went to Nathan Lane, who also delivered one of the only other funny segments of the film.
Also, Jeanette Charles has been hired once again to play the "Queen of England" in the scene where Austin in knighted, despite bearing absolutely no resemblance to our own dear Queen whatsoever. Just to annoy me, as an ardent monarchist, if you care (which nobody will), she wears the Sash of the Order of the Garter over the wrong shoulder and the Garter Star on the wrong side. (This would normally have amused me, as in The Spy Who Shagged Me where the army colonel has completely the wrong uniform on, but because the film was so crap it just compounded my annoyance.)
The whole film is just awful and crushingly disappointing and myself and my friends left the cinema close to tears. Only real die-hard Austin Powers fans will enjoy this film, the kind of nerds that will enjoy it no matter how lame it becomes or people whose sense of humour is so lacking in sophistication that penis jokes are all that is required. I myself require a little bit more.
Once last bone of contention, from my own petty nationalistic point of view. I always liked Austin Powers because of the Union Jacks everywhere and because, like the Bond films, it made you proud to be British. It was suddenly like it was cool again, a far cry from all the Hollywood villains with upper-class English accents. Sadly, Myers (a Canadian and, thus, a Commonwealth cousin) must be under some pressure from the Hollywood machine. We saw the usually Union Flag bedecked opening sequence have a few star-spangled banners thrown in and Elizabeth Hurley's Vanessa Kensington was replaced with the more than welcome sight of Heather Graham's Felicity Shagwell in The Spy Who Shagged Me. Now, in Goldmember, we get yet another American, this time Beyonce Knowles as Foxxy Cleopatra. Miss Knowles may be a good singer but her acting ability makes Liz Hurley look like she went to RADA.
For God sake don't watch this film unless you're a brain-dead vegetable. Buy the first, rent the second but forget this one. I wish I could.
1/10 (and that just because of The Mole!)
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