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aaronkalvani
Reviews
A Christmas Carol (2009)
What a bore...did they not learn from their mistakes in Polar Express
Good special effects, but what scary terrible characters. I saw this film at the premier in London and thought perhaps with Jim Carey opening the film with Colin Firth it may be good!! But, OH boy, it was horrid. The 3D was good but compared to UP, it lost its place. But worse of all I know the story and I have seen better versions in cartoons than in this film! Why?? Well, mainly because like the Polar Express the characters where hideously ugly, moved like zombies and terrified the kids even when they where supposed to be kind humble characters!! Worse of all the cinema was empty, spooky and the film was simply boring!!! Oh one last thing, the end had no feel good atmosphere or Christmans spirit. Lousy soundtrack!! HAd more fun looking at an old Charles Dickens Xmas Card!! Role over Jim Carey, your days are over too!!
Disaster Movie (2008)
If 30,000 voted for this - it must have been worth their time!!
This has to be the most excellent film ever made. I mean to have to bother to write all these negatives must have had some impact on the audience. The film is a simple imitation of the original films and needs to be watched at face value!! I am sure my full score will not impact the over all score , but watch this film drunk and laugh away! Or albeit, be happy with the trailer! Not sure I can fill in ten lines here, so I will just say, if you know what you like watch it and if not...don't! God Bless The World. If you write a spoiler without warning readers, your name will be added to a blacklist and all your future comments will be discarded automatically and unread. See the guidelines for more information
This Is It (2009)
Waste of £22 ($40) - Nightmare...
This should have been on TV not the big screen. I like MJ and after reading the reviews thought, wow, this film WILL BE IT!! But all it was, was insight of how great the concert inevitably would have been. But why should I pay to know that. A lot of work went into the preparation on the concert, but certainly not the film. In 10 years when your kids watch it, they will have no idea what its about as it makes no references to him dying before the concert commenced nor any tribute to him at the end. The end lacked luster or punch with most of the audience waiting for something to happen. The Funeral that was televised was mush more revealing. I give this a negative one if possible! Come on guys get your act together and stop wasting your hard earned money. Wait till it comes on TV next year!!
Eden Lake (2008)
Not a horror at all, simply a realistic drama
I was really looking forward to horror and was quite scared in anticipation. The real Eden Lake is 20 miles from me in a posh area of the country. When I saw the film and how the hoodies treated the two out of towners, I could only think how subdued it all was. If it was reality the couple would not have made the first night. I grew up in West Drayton, the true hoody capital of the world. And there is a small lake called "Little Britain", as its the same shape as the map of England, down a road called Packet Boat Lane...and if you read the local papers in West Drayton, hoodies where responsible for a lot worth deaths to young couples than that movie showed. I wish the director spoke to be first. Visit there now and see the amount of burnt out cars on the lake. Google it, if you think I am making it up. To me this film was not horror, simply drama or watching a lucky escape on the evening news!
Who's Good Looking? (2007)
A film that is long anticipated
I must confess to have not seeing the full 7 minutes of this great film, but having rated it on past performances of this young and talented director and actor, I can see it will be no short of superb.
The style jumps out as being instantly unique and follows through to have a complete satisfactory feeling as you get to know the characters in such a short space of time. Warren, has always had the ability to be creative since his early invention of the Hyper Envirmenton, the mad gadgets to control world weather coupled with his raw energy developed from years of swimming practice, sure has produced some amazing results!!
I have given Who's Good Looking a full score.
The Kite Runner (2007)
The film has to be worst thought out script in the world...
Okay, so this contains spoilers, so if you have not seen it, look away or actually do not bother to watch this film at all and this is why.... Tell me, how can the main protagonist walk into a Taliban Camp, unarmed, with a fake beard, demand to be given a 10 year old boy that has been sodomized and raped and made to be a dancer his whole life, by...now get this, getting found out, having his beard ripped off, being almost beaten to death by the Taliban Boss...only to escape by the little boy victim suddenly changing from a puppet who is scared and helpless, to pull out a sling shot and knock out the Taliban leader in one shot, by taking out is eye, in sudden heroic style and run out with his wounded protagonist, being chased by armed Taliban firing machine guns, be able to get into only Jeep unharmed and get this, get across the Afghan border! Oh come on. Why insult us the viewers????
Date Movie (2006)
No, no, it just could not get worse....
All I can say is that is the worst film ever made, no one in the world could like this film, its rubbish, and even a 6 year old could write a better script. It was
rubbish terrible rubbish
All I can say is that is the worst film ever made, no one in the world could like this film, its rubbish, and even a 6 year old could write a better script. It was
rubbish terrible rubbish!
All I can say is that is the worst film ever made, no one in the world could like this film, its rubbish, and even a 6 year old could write a better script. It was
rubbish terrible rubbish
All I can say is that is the worst film ever made, no one in the world could like this film, its rubbish, and even a 6 year old could write a better script. It was
rubbish terrible rubbish!
Hounddog (2007)
The Worst Film Ever Made, boring and depressing
This is the little girl who played scared in War of the Worlds with Tom Cruise. It looks like she has been pulled out of that film as the same character, as anemic and ill as ever, bullied, and then raped. Its a stupid rape scene that lasts for a few minutes and as I watched it I would only think of the director and the cameras as it seemed so staged. The story is nothing new, and the acting is terrible. The music is badly chosen and more importantly it does not deliver. I think that the only hope the producers and actors have is that the bad publicity that the film has brought from the Catholic Church, may get a few perverts into the cinema. Save your time and watch something bigger budget.