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Reviews
Red, White and Blue (2023)
Extremely well done short. You can guess where the negative reviews are coming from.
Honestly, it takes a lot to surprise me in film and television these days, and I was not expecting that emotional, heart wrenching twist. I have seen all of the live action Oscar nominated shorts this year, and my vote goes to Red, White and Blue for not only drawing attention to an important and divisive subject matter, but for also emotionally connecting you to characters that only occupy the screen for roughly 20 minutes.
I don't really want to add anything cynical about what other people are thinking or saying about this short, because we know why they're not rating it higher. It has nothing to do with the quality of the production and presentation, but everything to do with their own personal philosophies. Or they haven't even bothered to watch it at all (because it's not widely available at the moment) and just downvote because of the topic. Oh well, it doesn't change the fact that this is great short filmmaking. Makes you think, gets you emotionally invested, and has something important to say.
Congrats to the filmmakers on their nomination!
Home for the Holidays (1995)
Frenetically paced, clunky dialogue, disjointed, and annoying...good cast though
I've tried a few times to make this a movie a thing at Thanksgiving time, because there aren't a ton of turkey day themed films that I want to watch every year. There are just too many flaws here to try and make it work. I think everyone can relate to the chaos and dysfunction that the holidays bring, but there's also supposed to be some fun thrown in there as well (but where was it?). I've never seen a film try to be so serious and slapstick at the same time...like two genres of film fighting each other for dominance.
As others have pointed out here, there's no one really that likable to care about or root for. They're all so odd and not in a goofy or lovable way. Something is off and unrealistic about the dialogue between the characters, except interestingly enough, the aunt who is losing her marbles (her monologue at the dinner table is a rare moment of calm and relatability). This should have been a home run template: home for the holidays is a universal theme for most. The casting is pretty good, and the setting is cozy. It should have worked, but it didn't.
Side note: what is up with Claire Danes being the outlier in holiday movies?!
The Exorcist: Believer (2023)
Ex-Bore-Cist: Non-Believer (or Your Mother Watches Bad Sequels in Hell)
Yikes, where to begin? I mean, it's not Exorcist II bad, but was it too much to hope that it would be half-decent like Exorcist III? I never expected this to live up to the original, but a movie about demonic possession shouldn't be this boring. What makes a horror movie about exorcism...um horrific, is the crazy actions of the demon (in this case, demons?) and all the wild stuff that comes out of its mouth. I want to give a lot of credit to Linda Blair and the make-up artist from the original film, because they really sold it. These kids...not so much. They're about as scary as getting a notice in the mail about jury duty. I didn't really care about what was at stake with anyone.
The biggest offense is what they did to Ellen Burstn's character, Chris MacNeil. She is supposed to be an expert in the subject of possession. But she makes a decision to go into a room with a demonically possessed being alone. And you think a 90-year old expert who's been physically assaulted by a demon before would know better. I suppose we should be sad that she had her eyes gouged out, but not really since that was an incredibly dumb move. Plus, she was the character I really wanted to see the most in the movie (ironic?), but she only gets maybe 15-20 minutes of screen time. And only 20 seconds of the other character I wanted to see, Regan. Boo!
The issue is, the writer and director didn't capitalize on the strengths of the original film, and also recognize that they are competing with about 1,000 other exorcism movies that have come and gone in the last 50 years that have been done better (like the Conjuring movies for example). Also, now the demon has the power to twist a priest's neck? But he's not possessed! Huh? So boring and so bland. This doesn't need to be a new trilogy. Send this franchise to hell!
Creepshow (2019)
Crapshow: The Poor Man's Tales From the Crypt
I'm a big fan of the first two Creepshow movies, which I first saw when I was a kid, so I guess nostalgia brought me to the series. But this television version doesn't feel like it embodies the same spirit or exists within the same universe as the original films. The writing on this show feels like it's geared towards high schoolers (or those that think like them). It's hard to suspend disbelief when the writing is this unbelievable. The acting and direction are tough to take for most segments. The only thing it has going for it, is it's nice to see some familiar faces, like Tom Atkins, Adrienne Barbeau, Ethan Embry, etc. But from most others, the acting is hammy and cartoonish.
The original movies did a great job of blending horror and comedy. This show feels painfully aware of itself, and the audience it seeks to serve. You can see a lot of the plot "twists" coming a mile away. If you're a horror fan with half a brain, the whole thing feels very hollow and is a pale imitation of more reputable horror anthologies that came before it. How it's gone on for 4 seasons (and two holiday specials) is anyone's guess.
Night Court (2023)
Somewhat endearing, but not very funny so far
I wanted to wait and watch the whole season before I gave a review of Night Court 2.0. But I guess I'm feeling like I did after the first episode...this thing needs a lot of work before it can be anywhere near the quality of the original. Which I watched all of and honestly, their first season was bumpy too. With antsy network executives and short attention span audiences, I am astounded that this got a Season 2 (it must have been built into John Laroquette's contract or something?). Maybe the humor is supposed to be geared towards junior high/high schoolers, and not adults? This feels like it belongs on Disney+ or something. I think I laughed more during my colonoscopy.
The quality is mostly bad because of the writing, the canned laughter, and the cast not being fleshed out enough. For some reason, we only have one bailiff, instead of two (Gurgs, who is actually a decent character just in need of better writing). Olivia and Neil are struggling to make the material they're given work. It falls so damn flat, I have second hand embarrassment for them. Dan and Abby are the foundation of the show, but they need more of a rounded cast around them. Also, this whole place runs with just 5 people?
The real thing that irks me is that this doesn't have a big connection to the original sitcom outside of nicely recreated sets. The first NC used to have an unmatched zaniness, and it was always hilarious to see what new and unusual cases were being brought before the judge. There is also no mention of the original cast, outside of Harry. (OK, OK, we got a one 10-second cameo of Roz, but will she be back)? And of course, now there is no way to bring anyone back, as almost everyone from the original cast has passed away. I guess there's always hope for Art the janitor to come back?!
They've got to punch it up and do better for Season 2. Fire/hire new writers, add/subtract from the existing cast, and get a real live studio audience to laugh at the jokes. I'm willing to give this one more time to play out, but they've got to get funnier and less disjointed, or it's not going to last.
Young Adult (2011)
Yes, Mavis had issues. But let's talk about Buddy...
First of all, I'm not defending Mavis or any of her actions in the movie. But I love that she's flawed, and sometimes it's fun to watch trainwreck characters from the privacy of your own home. Personally, I don't think this movie gets nearly the credit it deserves. Despite Charlize acting in devious and despicable ways, she's still mesmerizing to watch in every scene. She's acting on so many levels here; the facade of the put together successful writer, but really struggling with depression, alcoholism, and isolationism. A self image so fragile, that all it takes is a few ego boost compliments to get her back on her feet again. And also Patton Oswalt was a real surprise bringing both comedy and drama to his role. He's really the conscience and voice of reason, and the movie wouldn't have worked without him.
But on to the ironically named Buddy. For some reason it really bugs me that the movie glosses over his inept decision making and insensitivity. When Mavis has her meltdown at the naming ceremony, it's omitted that she and Buddy kissed. I don't know why because I feel like this is definitely something Mavis would have said in her defense (and also maybe to be spiteful). And was Buddy thinking it was an innocent, drunken, nostalgic kiss between two old flames? Probably. But did he tell his wife? Does he take responsibility that maybe he led Mavis on a little? There's never that scene afterwards where he's says "hey, about last night...I didn't mean to blah blah." I'm paraphrasing, but he says something at the end of the movie like "it's obvious you're going through some sort of breakdown". So if it was that obvious, why didn't he (or his wife, Mavis' parents, etc.) do anything to get her professional help? If Buddy is so perceptive, why didn't he see what Mavis was doing coming a mile away, especially if they were once a couple? If they experienced a miscarriage together when they were younger, wouldn't he be thinking of Mavis and her feelings around children and a freaking naming party (yes Beth invited her, but still)? He's a total tool, but presented as the innocent goody goody husband. Look, he's so considerate buying Beth a drum set! In the end, Mavis didn't even want Buddy really...she was just driven by depression and nostalgia, which makes that part of her relatable.
Again, I'm not defending Mavis and her actions. She was a real turd back in high school and to many people she interacts with as an adult, not to mention her poor dog. I would not want to be her friend! But she clearly wasn't getting the support she needed in her formative years, and not later in life either, so I feel bad for her just a little. It's easy and lazy to point her out as the villain, and ignore the inactions of the other players in the film...specifically Buddy.
Scream VI (2023)
So close guys! First hour and 45 minutes were great
I liked so much about this Scream sequel that I remember thinking to myself in the theater how much better than Part 5 (excuse me, just Scream 2022) it was. Lots of things clicked: setting it in NYC gave it a fresh take; the opening murder was so brutal; the twist to show the first Ghostface immediately (he technically was one I guess) was great; and then for another Ghostface to kill him...even better; all the homages to the entire franchise and the "shrine" location; Kirby is back!; The Core 4 have a good chemistry and we actually like how their characters have developed since the last movie.
And then came the stupid. All the characters have plot armor and can survive horrific knife wounds. Mindy is running and bouncing down the street at the end...after she's been seriously stabbed in the abdomen. Chad was cut to hell, but there he is alive on the stretcher again. Gale was ripped apart, but "she's going to make it". Also, why didn't Gale just stay in her closet where she was safest. It's almost like she doesn't remember how to navigate these things after 26 years and 12 (13?) killers.
The killers revealed at the end was a little uninspired. We've been down that road where a parent wanted revenge for the death of their child (Scream 2). I'm also pretty sure it would be damn near impossible to fake the daughter's death, but there she is. I don't know what I wanted for the reveal, but this didn't feel fulfilling. Other than the twist to be a family of killers, this was no Mrs. Loomis or Jill level of surprise killers.
Still, it's better than the last one, but I'm looking forward to Part VII and hoping that Neve comes back for it. Oh, and that we get more Kirby. She was great, but needed more scenes!
The World's End (2013)
Great concept and cast, with lousy execution
I remember watching this when it first came out and being highly disappointed, since I love practically anything that Simon Pegg and Nick Frost are in together. The World's End is definitely the weakest outing.
I decided to give it another go after some time and space, but it turns out, it's just not that great of a movie. I love the overall plot outline, but something feels terribly off in the pacing and dialogue. It doesn't help that Pegg's character comes off as more grating than lovable loser. And there's all this tension, aggravation, and awkwardness between the characters, that it feels really off-putting. Definitely not a group of people I would enjoy being on a pub crawl with. Does anyone really believe that they would band together after all these years, regardless of a dead (but actually still alive) mother of a not very likable character?
The alien threat is both real and non-existent at the same time. They can easily recreate simulants without much trouble. But at the same time, the robots can be taken down easily by drunken middle-aged men. We find out they were really trying to move humanity forward to be part of a galactic community. But then give up after a drunken shouting match with Gary, one of humanity's worst specimens. How about talking with a Prime Minister or President instead? Yeah, yeah, it's a comedy, but come on.
Anyway, this could have been something great. It had everything going for it; a great cast, momentum from Shaun of the Dead/Hot Fuzz, Edgar Wright behind the wheel, etc. But instead, it was a disjointed and somewhat chaotic mess. Not one of the charming, quotable, and cosy films that we're used to with this group.
A Christmas Story Christmas (2022)
It was O.K.
Luckily, ACSC isn't the dumpster fire I thought it was going to be. There are some heartfelt moments, as well as some fun/funny situations along the way. It's clear that this is a nostalgia sequel, and Peter Billingsly and Company do their very best at trying to honor the original (and far superior) film. It makes an attempt to be its own thing, but knows that fan service comes first.
It wasn't a home run for me though for a few reasons:
1) I know it's my own issue, but I can't stand when they recast beloved characters in film/TV. I understand that Melinda Dillon has retired from acting, so what are you going to do? With no offense to Julie Hagerty, I'm not sure the mom character was even needed. I thought the Christmas Caroler scene was great, but she was otherwise a kind of an annoying drunk most of the time. I think it would have been better if her character was the one to have died at the beginning of the movie, and then Ralphie and his family inherit the house, and have to move in because they're low on funds.
2) I didn't really buy the marriage of Ralphie and Sandy. I think the chemistry was a little lacking here, and they could have punched up some scenes where they sold it better.
3) Ralphie is supposed to be an intelligent writer type, but he's constantly making dumb decisions. Like buying a huge Christmas tree that won't fit in the house; hitting his daughter in the face with a snowball; not watching his son, who ends up breaking an arm,; not calling Flick (from a payphone I guess) before breaking into his bar, etc.
4) I wish they would have filmed scenes at the actual house/street. I'm not sure how expensive it would be to film in Cleveland, but why move the production to Eastern Europe? They did a good job at recreating the original location (and I loved Flick's bar), but I don't understand why they didn't make an attempt to connect with the original location.
Otherwise, this one was less disappointing than other recent direct to streaming sequels. Worth a watch, but it will never match the original, nor attain the immortal classic status that that one has achieved.
Halloween H20: 20 Years Later (1998)
A great sequel! The low rating for this is ridiculous and unfair
OK, I get that this isn't a perfect movie. It has some flaws, but I definitely had to rate this a 10 to offset some of the undeserved low scores. I mean comparatively speaking, no other Halloween sequel that has come out after H20 even comes close to giving us something rewarding or satisfying (I'm looking at you Halloween Ends!). I view Halloween (1978), Halloween II (1981), and H20 as being the perfect "trilogy" if we're allowed to pick and choose which movies and timeline we want.
If you think about it, Laurie's extreme PTSD makes somewhat more sense than Halloween (2018) because 1) her brother is a serial killer and tried to murder her twice and, 2) she survived more with the events of H1 and H2 (she only experienced the events of H1 according to the 2018 revisit). And while she struggles with alcoholism and hallucinations, she's not the complete basket case, military fetishist, living in an isolated compound away from her family.
I think what the movie gets right is the setting and atmosphere, the focus on Laurie more than anyone else, the dynamic and relationship of Laurie and John, and the nods to the first two movies. And a final scene so satisfying to a horror movie, that I refuse to let Resurrection's tacky existence ruin it.
I think areas where it could have been improved are the mask (man, did they struggle to find a good version...don't know why it was so hard to try and duplicate the original), the runtime (definitely could have been at least 10-15 minutes longer), and the capitalizing on the Scream score (but hardly a big deal). None of these things ruined the movie for me, or my ability to watch this every single year.
If I had to guess why some people have a problem with H20 is because it ignores parts 4-6, and I really think they need to let it go. At this point, you have to accept that the Halloween franchise is a "choose your own adventure" and all 13 movies will never be a cohesive or coherent storyline. You should judge H20 as being an ending to a trilogy (and you should definitely ignore Resurrection). Anyway, I loved it the first time I saw it in the theater, and it's been a Halloween tradition for me ever since. Highly underrated and underappreciated.
Clerks III (2022)
The movie has heart (ironically), but a very weak script
Another sequel I was really looking forward to, but another one that ultimately disappoints. Compared to the other Clerks movies, it's really low on laughs and outrageous behavior...and hell, not even a Donkey Show or Jackson 5 breakout dance number! There's an over reliance on nostalgia, which is great for GenX, but that nostalgia is mostly relegated to recreations of the first movie and not Clerks II (except for the Mooby's scene) which I find to be a superior film tbh. The most egregious things that stood out for me were:
-Rosario Dawson should have had a bigger role. Her character and unborn child are dead at the beginning of the movie, and that starts Clerks III on a huge downer note. Already, I know this isn't the movie I thought I was getting, and there's really no recovering from it. I know she's busy with being Ahsoka now, but they should have waited for when Rosario was free to do a full movie. She is what made Clerks II work so well, and I didn't really want to see Dante as a sad sack for the whole movie, and Becky ghost cameos. He's fully grieving and seeing ghost hallucinations after 15 years? What is this, Six Feet Under?
-Randall did not bring the same level of ridiculous dialogue and humor we're used to seeing. I get that he's had a heart attack and changed, but I kept waiting to laugh my ass off with the things he said, and I was still waiting when the credits rolled.
-Elias' storyline fell flat. One minute he's a Christian, and the next he's a Satanist. And he wears a lot of goofy costumes, and gets his own "Silent Bob". That's it. That's all he brings to the table.
-Jay and Silent Bob just aren't that funny anymore and haven't been in quite some time. Where's our Silence of the Lambs moment with Jay? When will he say something offensive? Why weren't they interacting more with everyone else? They're both just so poorly written and played out at this point.
-The movie starts as a downer and ends that way too. Killing Dante just felt like the wrong way to go. Very coincidental that they BOTH have heart attacks within the span of weeks. They both should have lived too. Because we really don't get the scene where they work things out and find success together.
I don't know...there was a certain "something" here that makes me feel connected to it, but just not enough to put it in the territory of solid filmmaking that lives up to the other two. I didn't mind the meta humor of them creating a movie of the convenience store making it all full circle. But I think where Clerks works the best is when it's just existing. Dealing with stupid customers, putting them in their place, just making a living and enjoying each other's company, in the absurdity of it all. Now Dante and the Clerks franchise is dead. And quite possibly, Kevin Smith's creativity as well. I'm sad to see it go out this way.
Halloween Ends (2022)
"I hope you find love." Uhh, not with this movie! They pulled a Reverse Resurrection!
I'm stunned that it could be this terrible. You thought Halloween: Resurrection was bad? Basically, if Resurrection had the action between Michael and Laurie in the first 15-minutes, and then the rest of the movie sucked, then this one was the complete opposite. It took us an hour and a half to get to the part we all wanted to see and paid admission for. Subverting our expectations for the last movie (well, in this timeline anyway) and making this all about Corey as wannabe Michael was a piss poor way to go. Fans want Michael and only Michael to be the creepy, scary, stabby stabby killer we love (and actually be IN THE MOVIE). Not living in a sewer for years, and wounded, only to reactivate again after he looks in the eyes of Corey and "sees" what he's been through. What? I don't even know how a screenplay like this can happen..it's like fan fiction. Except fans could probably write something 1,000 times better. What a disconnected bubble this team of "writers" were living in.
Besides story, the other big problem here is character inconsistency. You mean to tell me that Laurie became a one-woman army and stayed paranoid and on edge for 40 years after a few of her friends died and she survived her attack. But now after 4 years and the brutal murder of her daughter, son-in-law, and Tommy Doyle, she's in a great place, putting up Halloween decorations and baking pies? And yet Michael is still out there? So she's more relaxed and OK with that, as opposed to when he was locked up? WTF?! Allyson turns into a lovesick a-hole and it's gross how fast she falls for this dork, ready to skip town and trash talk her grandmother (if you blame Laurie for your parent's deaths, then why did you move in with her in the first place?). I would have been done with that dude the minute I saw how bad he danced, but I digress. And Lindsey...oh wait, she's barely in the movie. So glad I spent all this time excited to see what they would do with her character, only to give her 3 lines of dialogue and add nothing of value whatsoever.
It wasn't scary, was 20-minutes too long, boring, felt disconnected from any of the other movies, and dialogue was clunky - "I hope you find love"...my audience laughed and groaned. At least this time, the Michael of this timeline is dead, and they can't pull some lame "it was a paramedic the whole time" crap. But how and why would they get the whole town to show up to watch him become ground beef? Why didn't Laurie cut Michael's head off in the kitchen before that? Why didn't she and Hawkins get together years earlier, if she was in such a good place? Why did they build up Corey so much, only for him to be killed off and not the new Michael? So many questions, and just think...they had been given more time because of Covid to come up with a better story. Jamie and the fans deserved better. A sad and shameful end to what could have been an amazing new trilogy.
Halloween: Resurrection (2002)
Halloween: Abomination. 20 Years Later...it's worse than you remember
This sequel is the absolute bottom of the barrel for this franchise. I'm binging all the Halloween movies in preparation for Halloween Ends this week. I haven't seen Halloween: Resurrection in a very long time (it hasn't been long enough). I was unfortunate enough to see this in the theater when it came out, and now doubly unfortunate to sit through this "movie" one more time. If you had to say one redeemable thing about H:R is that it gives Halloween fans an opportunity to see what would happen if Michael finally gets his revenge and kills Laurie. But that's it - just 10-15 minutes of the opening with JLC. After that, it all goes downhill on a sled filled with dog poop. So let's rip this thing to shreds:
-The retconning of a paramedic in Michael's place is so insulting to the audience and completely destroys what worked in H20. I totally understand why the franchise had to continue, but it should have been with Rob Zombie's remake (not that it was great either, but still). That way, we could have basked in the H20 "chopped off his head, Laurie wins" glow for a lot longer. And if they wanted us to swallow the paramedic garbage, how does a normal middle-aged dude survive being thrown through a plate glass window of a speeding vehicle, and then have that van crash land on his vertebrae, and he's still OK? Oh, and also the Michael pinned under the van at the end looks exactly like he did throughout the movie eye-wise.
-Busta Rhymes is a very talented rapper, but one of the worst people to be on the silver screen since Sofia Coppola in Godfather Part III. He shouts all his lines, yells at Michael to leave a room (which he does!), and then karate kicks Michael in the finale, all while imitating offensive "whaaaaaa" noises that they do in martial arts films. Even worse, he doesn't get killed.
-The whole "Dangertainment" concept might have been slightly interesting in 2002 when the internet was still becoming a prominent way people consumed information and entertainment. But oh my, the picture quality and concept have not held up well. You just know whoever brainstormed this thing thought they had a great idea on their hands. Nope. Even though the setting is the Myers' house, it is devoid of any connection that made other sequels any fun.
Other than that, the plot stinks, no one is likable, Tyra Banks' death scene happens off-camera (?), Michael's mask looks like Joan Crawford, and you're not rooting for anyone. Not fun in a bad way. Not fun in a good way. Just awful, painful, insulting hot garbage. AVOID!
Hocus Pocus 2 (2022)
Hocus Unfocused (or Hex and the City)
Trust me, I really wanted to love this, and was super excited when they announced this sequel. I tried not to have high expectations, but I couldn't help myself. Unfortunately, this didn't work on many levels.
Let's start with the most obvious: outside of the mistaken identity of Binx with the black cat, the Sanderson Sisters don't mention Max, Dany, or Alison at all, and that just doesn't make any sense. They shift the revenge plot to a descendent of a mayor they hated in Old Salem. Wouldn't they be hellbent on getting revenge on the trio that ruined their opportunity for immortality, instead of a descendent of a dude that exiled them to the woods? I mean, come on...no MENTION of the characters from the first movie that we love? The sisters aren't even remotely curious if the grown-up versions are still living in Salem? But more importantly, shouldn't they be concerned with um...staying alive before the sun rises?
Next, I'm willing to overlook the fact that all 3 actresses were pancacked with make-up so we have some sort of believability of their 90s look, but what's up with Mary? Why isn't she fat? Was she on a diet in hell? Also...Roombas instead of a broom? Really?
The overall story was kind of boring, the new "coven" weren't that interesting and lacked chemistry, the script was weak, and something was missing with the "feel" of the film. It lacked charm or that Halloween, New England coziness feel. Maybe they should have filmed in Salem, or at the very least, showed exterior scenes of the city they were supposed to be in.
I'm willing to overlook that the Sanderson sisters would do their own renditions of Elton John and Blondie songs (like you have to overlook "I Put a Spell on You" in the first movie), even though they're from the 1690s. But I'm not giving a pass to Winnie watching a scene of the first movie on TV. Ugh!
It was nice to see the ladies altogether again, but not with this script. It was like bad fan fiction and I'm not surprised it went straight to streaming.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)
No surprise it didn't get a theatrical release. This franchise is on life support.
There was a time when Leatherface was up there with slasher greats like Freddy, Jason, and Michael. But it feels like the last time this franchise had any relevancy was the remake in 2003 and maybe the prequel to the remake in 2006. Since then we've had a lousy 3D sequel, a straight to video prequel, and whatever this movie is (clocking in at just 81 minutes).
I can forgive a lot...like filming a movie set in Texas in Bulgaria with a cast of Zoomers that have all the appeal of lemon juice poured on paper cuts. Or a spry 75-year old Leatherface being able to run after, keep up with, and slaughter teenagers/young adults. Or dispatching a legacy character with no respect or reverence at all.
But what is with all the characters not behaving like normal human beings at any time? Such as:
-not undoing your seatbelt earlier, and making a run for it when you have the chance.
-hiding under a bed and then staying there when someone else is being attacked, and you have more than enough time to escape?
-an entire group of people running to the back of a bus to slowly get chainsawed by one person, even though there were more than enough opportunities to sidestep/bypass Leatherface and run towards the front exit.
-spending 50 years thinking about a revenge plan, and then making really dumb decisions, only to be killed in spectacular fashion.
-not calling the cops or anyone else, after you "defeat" Leatherface, and just leave the town laughing and smiling (oh um, your friends and thirty other people are dead).
-stay standing-up through the sun roof, after seeing your sister killed, so you can crash into a building or something.
RIP Common Sense
Garbage plot, garbage characters, and a limp, pathetic entry into this franchise that really needs to call it a day.
Dune (2021)
Let's just admit that it's not a good story and move on.
I'll give it a 5 because the visual effects, cinematography, and casting were all top notch (ok, maybe not Jason Momoa). And while sci fi can be transcendent when it's married with cerebral storytelling, Dune is simply not accessible on any level. In all fairness, is there really an effective way a writer could relay exposition to general audiences from such convoluted source material in a 2 1/2 hour movie? Somehow this has become a critical darling, and racked up a lot of Oscar nominations. How?! These facts make me feel like I'm the one from another world.
It's boring, tedious, you can't understand what they're saying half the time, and the biggest sin...it's just no fun. Ironically, a movie that centers around spice is very bland and boring. Go figure. DUNE...more like DONE!
The Power of the Dog (2021)
There Will Be Boredom
I'm starting to think that most film critics just really love grindingly slow movies that have gorgeous cinematography (*cough* Nomadland). I get that one has to put the "picture" in motion picture, but still.
As has been the case now for the last few years, these Oscar frontrunners have reputable casts, and solid acting, but always with the meandering and unexciting script. Best Picture Oscar nominees are supposed to get under your skin, punch you in the emotional gut, and make you think about them days after viewing. Does this movie really have the "power" behind it to be an epic masterpiece? Was it an hour of Benedict's character sniffing someone else's clothes, or a few minutes? Geeez.
There's a sprinkling of There Will Be Blood, The Piano, and Brokeback Mountain here. Kirsten Dunst is strong, and maybe the most understated drunk character in a movie. Benedict Cumberbatch is magnificent as always. Jesse Plemons is...uh...Jesse Plemons (they nominated him, really?). To borrow from another Cumberbatch movie, I wish I could have used the time stone to have moved through this movie a little more quickly. A solid 6.
And Just Like That... (2021)
Makes SATC2 look like Hitchcock
As a very big Sex and the City fan, this is really hard to process. I feel like the legacy of the original has been tarnished. I made sure to wait until I had watched the entire season before I rated, unlike some others, that just want to hate it for existing in the first place. And to be clear, I never expected or wanted it to be exactly like the original, because the characters are in different places in their lives. But would it have killed them to have the iconic diner scenes from time to time? Could they hang out with each other and talk for more than 4 minutes at a time?
The first 3 episodes probably feel the most SATC-like. There's an acknowledgement of past storylines and characters, and the send-off for Big, and closure with Natasha felt appropriate and satisfying. And it's before everything goes to hell in the rest of the season. So much doesn't work as the story progresses, that I would rather go back and watch all of the offensive Abu Dhabi scenes in SATC2 on a loop.
Here is what absolutely drives the show into the ground:
-Che. One of, if not the worst TV character in recent memory. Annoying af, and is somehow labeled as a stand-up comedian, even though I don't recall one moment of hilarity coming out of their mouth at any time. When do inspirational speeches qualify as stand-up comedy?
-Miranda's character assassination. I feel like as soon as Cynthia Nixon became a producer on AJLT, she wanted to see something of her own life reflected on screen. Miranda went from being a level-headed, grounded, uptight, and sensible character into a bumbling, neurotic, hypocritical mess. Her treatment of a decades-long relationship with Steve was screenwriting at its worst, and everything we loved about Miranda was thrown out the window, so she could act like a teenager in love, and ditch her friends and family for L. A. I don't know who this person is...it's not Miranda Hobbes, that's for damn sure.
-people of color used for checking boxes and as plot devices. Hey look, all the girls have a person of color friend! And their storylines will get less play than the white women, and their characters won't be developed in any significant way, other than to show how much Carrie, Charlotte, and Miranda have evolved as New Yorkers over the years. Do we feel like Lisa, Nya, Jackie, or Seema have any real depth to them? Surely, their stories are more valuable than Charlotte's boring ass life of playing tennis, or the pointless inclusion of the loud downstairs neighbor?
-The kids were all annoying. Brady, Lily, and Roc all had their moments of epic whininess and privilege that made me wish that none of them had been born.
-the handling of Samantha's and Stanford's departures. Neither character would have exited in the ways they did. If there is no hope of either Kim or Willie coming back for a cameo, why not just kill off the characters? We can handle more than one death a season (or kill them off in Season 2).
There are enough inconsistencies and bad writing to really make the case that revivals of beloved TV shows don't work. Maybe a Friends-like reunion would have been the better way to go? For the inevitable season 2, I hope we get better writers, dialogue, and plotlines. Maybe focus on making the group tighter, with one or two of the new characters becoming part of the core group, with an occasional "fun" episode thrown in like the good old days. Oh, and absolutely leave Che in L. A.!
Tôkyô monogatari (1953)
Tokyo Boring
I'll give credit to the cinematography, filming style, and quality of actors portraying the family. But let's also just acknowledge that this film is a bit of a slog, and should have been shorter by at least a 30-minutes.
The plot is simple enough. Visiting parents become an instant burden to their adult children and grandchildren. But what is not explored, is that maybe the children have a reason to not want their parents around? The father apparently used to have quite the drinking problem, which one of the daughters had pointed out. It's not easy growing up with an alcoholic parent, and maybe there is past trauma? But because they're old(er), the parents are supposed to be saintly and revered? For all the time this movie had to explore family dynamics and dysfunction, it sure did meander where I felt burdened by the time commitment.
Why do movies like this end up on "the greatest of all time" lists? Do most film critics just prefer slice of life films that are a slow burn, where the technical merits and visuals outweigh the story?
Dexter: New Blood: The Family Business (2022)
Great episode, almost perfect
But wasn't Dexter shot in the leg last week? And not a lot of time has passed since the last episode. But he's walking around fine, and carrying out business as usual? Plot hole?
Dave Chappelle: The Closer (2021)
Used to love Dave, but this...was painful. Was it comedy?
I'm not sure why Dave felt the need to make more than half this special about his relationship and challenges with the LGBTQ+ community, but it didn't land. It wasn't hilarious. It was painful. And it was horribly transphobic.
If you don't think so, then you have some work to do on yourself. Mentioning blackface and comparing that to a biological woman seeing a trans woman is effed up. Or a trans woman faking her period with beet juice, instead of blood? No words. And just because one trans woman found you hilarious, and could look past your insensitivity does not give you a free pass to say whatever the hell you want. It is totally the equivalent of saying "well I have black friends, and they're ok with me saying the n word". And his joke about assaulting a lesbian was abhorrent.
This special was rough. I used to absolutely love his brand of comedy on Chappelle's Show. But singling out a group of people and whining that they hate you...because um...you've been terrible to them? No one wants to hear all that. This isn't a therapy session. I hope Netflix pulls this abortion of a "comedy" special soon. Please do better Dave!
To Wong Foo Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar (1995)
Underrated Gem of a Movie
Some movies just get under your skin, and are hard to describe why you love them so much. But I really, truly, madly love this movie, and have seen it probably over a hundred times, including when it was originally released in the theater. I find the trio's performances to be magical, commanding, and endlessly quotable.
Look, I understand it's not a "perfect" film - some of the language on being a drag queen/trans person is dated, they handle the potential assault on Chi Chi clumsily, and Sheriff Dollard as a whole is a level of toxic that goes beyond what is needed for a comedy of this nature. However, I also think it does a fantastic job of showing us how friendship is formed in the unlikeliest of places, and how one's fabulousness can translate anywhere, as long as you're true to yourself.
But besides looking for any deeper meaning here, it's just a fun, colorful (did I mention endlessly quotable?) comfort movie, with a great soundtrack. Vida, Noxi, and Chi Chi are old friends at this point, and for me, they are relationships that just keep getting better with age.
To Wong Foo...I think of you as an angel! <3.
Halloween Kills (2021)
This is a "bridge" movie...one that does not stand on its own.
Halloween Kills is a "bridge" movie - we get the aftermath of Halloween 2018, but they're also setting up things for Halloween Ends. So it doesn't feel like this movie stands alone or has a distinct identity, in a way that say, Halloween II (1981) does. It's not an encapsulated story that's neat and tidy, and that's probably the biggest thing working against it. You just walk away from it like it's missing 5-10 pages from the screenplay. Plus a Halloween movie where Laurie and Michael have no scenes together...how rewarding can that be?
The things that worked (at least for me) are the score, the connectivity to the 1978 film, and Michael's look and presence. I don't hear many people complaining about the mask...for a change. The kills are superfluous, but it's all right there in the title, so you can't be surprised. I'll refrain from commenting on the 1978 stuff. But I really appreciate the inclusion of Donald Pleasance as Dr. Loomis. Although if you paid any attention to the trailer, he was in it for a second, so no chance of being wowed by that cameo.
What didn't work for me was how they shoehorned the H1 characters into a "support group" at the bar. Maybe Tommy and Lindsey would have kept in touch, but Marion? I don't think so. Plus the way she went out was super lame. They could have at least given her an opportunity to shoot Michael in the arm. But she would have needed additional "Chambers". Ba dum tsss. And poor Sheriff Bracket! They didn't even get any scenes with Laurie. The mob stuff was boring to me, but I think we can all agree that seeing Anthony Michael Hall die onscreen is always a good thing.
It was OK. Not profound and it didn't add anything new. But not a total sh**fest either. It will inevitably stay in the 6.0s on iMDB and that's probably accurate.
The Walking Dead (2010)
The Slogging Dead
Like the walkers/geeks/freaks (never called zombies for some reason!) featured on TWD, this show takes absolutely forever to get to where it's going. 11 seasons about the zombie apocalypse is a LOT to absorb (and we're not even counting all the spinoffs). Inexplicably, AMC has driven this franchise into the ground, even though ratings and quality kept declining season after season. Why AMC's Breaking Bad could get a succinct five seasons that were laid out perfectly, and they allowed this one to meander over more than a decade is anyone's guess. Oh wait...it's money. Of course!
The general problems are the pacing and repetition. It's less a show about the horrors and survival of a zombie apocalypse, and more about the horrors of man, and all the MANY groups of psychos the main group has encountered. After the Governor, the cannibals, the Wolves, the Saviors, the Whisperers, the Reapers, blah blah, the formula is always the same: slowly encounter new big bads: big bad deals a crippling blow/massive threat to the heroes; group slowly fights back and devises a plan to defeat said big bads; and then victory and triumph...for maybe 2 episodes until the next group of psychos is introduced. This structure gets tiresome...fast. And during each season, there will be a lot of filler moments and episodes that do absolutely nothing to move the story forward.
By the end, we are left with virtually none of the original characters, and investing in the multitude of revolving door newbies proves to be futile. By the last few seasons you actually forget who's who in-between hiatuses. I can't tell you a single new character's name after Season 7, other than Negan. Which leads to my last problem with the show...the characters make many, many, many incredibly stupid decisions. Like not killing Negan when they had multiple opportunities. And the fact that he would eventually be allowed to be part of the group is completely absurd. A ton of WTF moments, where you're yelling at the characters (aka the writing) and how stupid they are.
Oh, and did I mention lots of filler moments in the episodes? Stick with the show for the first four seasons when the story revolves around Rick and Co., the development of Carol and Daryl as bad-ass characters, and they defeat the Governor. After that, it just recycles over and over and you have to be a series loyalist to get to the end.