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Reviews
Ghost in the Shell (2017)
Wrong Headed Origin Story w/ CyberFrankensteins
GITS '17 is a sad failure that layers stupidity and incoherence upon a legendary SiFi anime. What we get is very bad acting located in an extremely cluttered yet visual interesting CGI landscape. In this prequel/origin story, a girl was a runaway teen who was kidnapped by the "stock villain" evil Corporation, had her brain removed, wiped clean, and implanted into a cyber-body. Low and behold, only a year later, she is a "Major" and the leader of Section 9 crime squad. It is perhaps the quickest rise in rank in military history?
Absurd and Absurdity continues because the "rebel terrorist" was also a teen runaway whose brain was also stolen
. and in what amounts to the closest thing to "romance" , CyberFrankenstein and the girl "knew" each other as teenagers!! PUKE! Finally, the Girl has to track down her mother and remember why she was so miserable in the first place that she needed to run away and live in the "outlaw" zone. Perhaps it's because she saw this movie?
The Movie does look somewhat like the '95 version but opting to "quote" scenes verbatim from the original GITS '95 only highlights the labored and ridiculous script. All in all it's an F. Please go and rent the original GITS or any of the sequels/series and forget you ever saw this mess of a film.
Silence (2016)
Thank "god" the Japanese Won
Every so often the Christian movie makers try and take this subject on and every effort is a failure. Quite simply put, the Japanese wanted their own culture more than they wanted the Western one, and most importantly, they were willing to fight for it tooth and claw. I know I'm suppose to feel great sympathy for the poor priests struggling against the heathens, but I don't and I don't want to. I'm quite happy that Japan has a great culture of its own design and evolution and so all the movie slander promoted by even a great director like Martin Scorsese seems just wasted talent. Oh, there is plenty of "talent" in the film; director, camera, actors, but the script and the of course the "idea" can never succeed. I know that "christian hardship porn" is satisfying for many believers, but unless you are one, you should let this movie go away.
Anomalisa (2015)
Animated Boredom as Performance Art
Charlie Kaufmann bores the universe with an even more dull and depressive movie experience than Synecdouche New York, his last super depressing movie. Using animation is interesting for the first few minutes only as any kind of plot development is slower that plate tectonics. As soon as you realize the raison d'etre you save yourself some time by simply watching it fast forward, stopping occasionally to listen to the dull, half wit dialogue, but only long enough to confirm your initial (and correct) decision that there is nothing worth listing to, let alone remembering as worth listening to. Got it? You can save even more time by not watching it. I only wish I had the 14 minutes I spent watching it back, and the 3 minutes I spent on this review. DON'T BOTHER.... <<<<<<------ IN SUMMATION
Antichrist (2009)
ThankGod I did not pay money to watch it. (wasted time-yes)
It's a movie you can say you watched but can not remember anything good to say about it. If you like boredom in you high art with a dessert of graphic violence this "film" can waste your 100 minutes as well as anything. (so boring a movie I cut and pasted to get 10 lines of review, so I did not waste any more time on the trash. You've been warned!)
Some of the more nasty highlights would include:
- Sex scenes which include shots of full on penetration.
- A scene where Gainsbourg is lying naked in the forest masturbating, until Dafoe arrives on scene and starts to have sex with her while arms emerge from the tree stump they lie on.
- An especially nasty scene where she smashes his testicles with a log and then masturbates him until he ejaculates blood.
- The follow on to that bit where she drills a hole in his leg, sticks her finger in the wound and then bolts a weight to his leg.
- And who can forget the infamous scene near the end where she slides a pair of scissors into her vagina and removes her clitoris.
If this is considered art, then cinema is on a downhill slide. This film is not for the squeamish, and I cannot recommend the title to anyone. Avoid at all costs.
The Fountain (2006)
Calling a mishmash would be a compliment -
Hugh Jackman is a Spanish explorer, a research doc., and a diaper wearing flying guy in a bubble drifting in space. (why would the last guy in the universe wear a diaper?) Rachael Weisz is queen of Spain, his dying wife, woman in bubble drifting in space (she wears a sheet). they have the same scenes together (over and over again,(they can time travel, or is it alternative reality? who care?)), there is dialog, (boring uninteresting people talking), cut, go to other segment of movie, cut , go back.. cut ,, go forward. Now have Hugh Jackman sit in lotus and white light and drift into other parts of movie.. Lose and find symbolic elements, (rings, seeds, bark) and don't forget the big "fountain" of life, (its the sap, bark, being of the tree. duh!!!) I thought it was just pretentious acid tripping nonsense, although maybe it would be interesting if you were stoned, I'd try that but it would mean I have to sit through this crap movie again. I gave it a 2 for technical skill.