vanvance Reviews

Fargo: Welcome to the Alternate Economy (2020) Season 4, Episode 1

When Disney Took Over FX

[2/10 · 2 January 2024]

This episode marks the beginning of the end of Fargo. Want a story about RACE, RACE and RACE? This is it! It's full of false claims about history (suggesting African Americans invented credit/credit cards), ultra-competent women (especially the women of color), lesbianism portrayed heroically, and even a 'native' American pompously (and unrealistically) offering a few brief words of pseudo-wisdom, before existing stage-left.

The supernatural elements pop up less often than in previous seasons and are even more half-baked than they were previously.

The lead actor for this dog's breakfast is Chris Rock, a man who can tell jokes, but NOT a man who can act. His lightweight performance is at all times unconvincing.

I finished 8 episodes of season four, but couldn't bring myself to endure more of the inferior writing and directing, that doesn't come close to Fargo's best season, number two.

I'll be skipping season five. Disney destroys everything it touches.

The Creator (2023)

Something Borrowed, Then Something Else

[3/10 · 16 December 2023]

The Creator is painfully lacking in creativity. The plot is riddled with holes, the characters are empty questions, and the story moves along without ever reaching a satisfying destination.

What went right?

The movie doesn't look cheap, and in certain scenes you can enjoy appealing set design and cinematography.

What went wrong?

I learned this watching Tenet, and it was proved a second time here: Just because a man has a father who can act, doesn't mean HE can act. John David Washington brings nothing memorable to the role of the protagonist. A bland, one-note performance, lacking energy or visceral emotion, renders the role forgettable.

The plot and story. We've seen this before, and in these older movies both were handled better, with more emotion, gravitas and coherence.

The pacing: Too long, too repetitive, The Creator drags. Unnecessary, oddly placed flashbacks, are distracting as opposed to adding depth. The whole thing spins it's wheel... a lot.

The special F/X and sound effects: Both, while decent, feel like they were simply lifted from Star Wars, reskinned and dropped into The Creator.

The direction: What's important here? The story, the relationships, the plot, the action...? None of it felt important, it all seemed rote.

I'm not sure why this script got a green light. Perhaps it had something to do with satisfying DEI requirements. Certainly the film is successful in that. Just not much else.

The Bear (2022– )

It Peaked in the First Season then Doubled Down on Dull

[3/10 · 12 December 2023]

Watching the first season of The Bear, I was mildly intrigued by the concept. The execution was poor, with childish direction and confusing editing, but there did appear to be an overarching plot that was being played (slowly) out.

Unfortunately the first season ended with a deux ex twist that was hard to take. When the second season appeared, I put it on and persevered for four punishing episodes.

The same poor direction was on display, though the 'creatives' seem to have doubled down on the extreme close ups. The dialogue all sounded like it came from the same voice, regardless of the actors in the roles, and the story became meandering and lacking in focus.

In retrospect, the show is poorly structured, weakly cast, and the characters don't ring true to their environment.

I'll give it three stars for a relatively fresh concept stymied by poor realization.

The Venture Bros.: Radiant Is the Blood of the Baboon Heart (2023)

So Much Better Than Marvel

[10/10 · 5 October 2023]

In theory, this is the final gasp of The Venture Bros., an Adult Swim cartoon that is best described as a work of genius, possessing a rich mythology and animated characters chock full of layered personalities.

As such it is a complete success, giving screen time to our favorites (though more for Brock would have been ideal), while organically embroiling them in a cleverly conceived plot that offers multiple pay-offs.

If you're new to the show: Start at the beginning, you'll get so much more out of the series (and this film) by doing so.

If you're a long term fan: This is a delicious cherry on top of The Venture Bros. Sundae. It's so good, that you won't be able to help yourself wishing for even more. A reasonable desire considering the strength of the last season, before cancellation.

Adult Swim was at it's best when they green lit and supported this show. It was an act of extreme foolishness to cancel it.

No One Will Save You (2023)

Among The Best SF/Horror of 2023

[9/10 · 23 September 2023]

Hulu very rarely offers an original film worth watching. No One Will Save You, is a shockingly good exception to that rule!

Brian Duffield demonstrates both a love and understanding of sci-fi horror here. His direction is deliberate, and exceptionally well thought out, exhibiting a strong visual style perfectly servicing the intent of the story.

Equal attention has been paid to film's score, an absolute triumph that sign posts physically dramatic moments, while paying equal attention to highlighting the dominant emotion in each scene.

This is a film that may be overlooked in 2023, but is very likely to win praise long into the future. Happily it is the rare animal among modern movies, that is not burdened and crippled by the pretend morality of the moment.

Blue Beetle (2023)

Painfully Unoriginal

[3/10 · 22 September 2023]

It's 2023, and the superhero movie is no longer new or a rare novelty. In truth, there have been so many over the last decade plus, that the typical formulas have all been seen dozens of times.

For fans of the source material, this version of the Blue Beetle is particularly galling. Rather than the 1939 original (yes, that old), or the better known and written second version, Ted Kord (who does at least get some references in the film), we get a third, dull-as-dishwater incarnation, Jaimie Reyes.

Jamie is young, well-meaning, and as bland as possible, but he is also American Mexican, and THAT is the theme and focus of the movie. Being Mexican, while being in a kick-ass Mexican family, and referencing Mexican pop culture (songs and TV shows).

For those who believe a movie should focus on race above all else, Blue Beetle is a triumph. Alas, dissenting viewers ares likely to be bored, and grow disinterested as this limp film hits you with cliche then CGI, then more cliche, then more CGI etc... for 2+ hours.

Blue Beetle isn't true to it's source material, and manages to be predictable above all else. It's truly a wasted opportunity.

The Last Voyage of the Demeter (2023)

Disappointing Story, Competent Direction

[6/10 · 18 September 2023]

I'll begin by stating Andre Ovredal made me a fan with the amazing 'The Autopsy of Jane Doe'. That's not to say his other films aren't worth watching; everything aside from this one, most definitely is.

What went wrong here, that Last Voyage is the low point to his body of work?

1 - The casting is inauthentic to the period. Granted, this is a singular issue, and one I was close to overlooking. However, it becomes impossible to do so when it's the lead, and at one point in the third act, an out of nowhere rant about race interrupts the flow of the film, forcefully pulling the viewer out of the narrative.

2 - One character who is said to have endured unreal, supernatural torture, quickly evolves into an ultra-competent machine. Again, this doesn't ring true to the story, and weakens the horror elements within it.

3 - The rest of the characters are underdeveloped. Even the relationship you're supposed to care about, doesn't carry much weight.

4 - The pacing is slower than it should be.

Aside from the last, I don't blame any of the other issues on the director. In the past he's avoided the pitfalls that plague this film, likely the result of having a larger budget and bowing to studio pressures.

In the end, this isn't a bad film, it's just one that's deeply flawed, and which could have been much better.

Killing It (2022– )

Big Quality Drop Between Seasons

[3/10 · 25 August 2023]

Watching season one of Killing It, I never laughed out loud, but I was sometimes amused by the on screen antics, and it was one of those painless shows you put on when you're in the mood for something light.

Season two dropped precipitously in quality. The relationship between the two leads seemed inorganic and forced, with the characters telling each other how they felt as opposed to demonstrating it. Worse, the comedy almost disappeared completely. On top of all that, the plot doesn't hang together well enough, even for what should be the admittedly low standards of a situation comedy.

One villainous character is almost amusing, as the actor performing the role chews on the role in what could have been a fun way, if the dialogue itself was any good.

In conclusion: Season 1 gets 6.5, but season 2 drops to 3 stars. Considering the overall trajectory, I don't think I'll bother with season 3.

The Venture Bros. (2003–2018)

Top Tier Entertainment

[10/10 · 29 July 2023]

The Venture Bros. Is a unique, multi-layered comedic masterpiece! It's a series that came to an unfortunate end, despite moving from strength to strength with every season, contributing to an increasingly complex and ridiculously entertaining mythology.

If you want to watch a show made by people with passion, as opposed to the typical created by committee variety, this is what you're looking for.

That The Venture Bros. Was cancelled for no good reason, at the height of its creativity is a television tragedy.

This is basically the swan song of Adult Swim as purveyors of humor. It has been replaced by soulless, unfunny bottom wipers such as 'Birdgirl'.

The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power (2022– )

Tolkien's Turning in his Grave

[1/10 · 16 July 2023]

Imagine spending hundreds of millions on an intellectual property, only to completely misunderstand every aspect of it! That's Amazon's terrible take on Tolkein; an inauthentic, wrong-headed a production as have ever been put on screen.

Despite putting the clearly talented director J. A. Bayona behind the camera, the opening episode falls flat. Even he can't rescue the poor writing, ridiculous characterizations and painful 'girl power' heroism of one of the leads. You've seen this show before, many, many times. Sadly, as the series progressed it moves from weakness to weakness.

Little good can be said about this production. It is perhaps the least successful use of large sums of money in recent history (barring Zuckerberg's meta-verse).

Boring, uninspired and left beneath the shadow of Peter Jackson's work; there is no reason for anyone looking to be entertained to waste their time with this tripe.

Consecration (2023)

Satisfying Horror

[8/10 · 25 March 2023]

I'm writing this review because those I've recently seen (e.g. On the Roger Ebert site), clearly didn't understand what they were watching and what the actual story was. They WANTED a character drama in the cliched sense, when what they got was a mystic mystery of sorts. If you're patient and attentive, you'll understand it all comes together at the end. This is not one of Smith's best, but it's definitely good. It's also completely devoid of sickening Hollywood trends that have made so much of entertainment into an excuse to bash the viewer in the face with ideology.

Consecration is recommended for serious horror fans.

Paradise PD (2018–2022)

Pump Up the Jam!

[9/10 · 6 August 2022]

Adult animation for the toilet humor loving nation!

Well-animated, lightning paced and aimed at making you laugh, Paradise PD succeeds in it's goals.

This show is solidly entertaining and sometimes even levels up, adding satire into the mix. I can't say I agree with the targeting (which is more often than not aimed at conservatives); but even when the 'arguments' are poor, the results are still amusing.

Even better, the show improves from season to season, going more and more bug sex mad! Loved season three and eagerly awaiting number four.

Green Lantern: Beware My Power (2022)

Plot and Characters Lost in Space

[3/10 · 1 August 2022]

I'll begin by stating I'm a big Green Lantern fan still waiting to see the character(s) done right. I'm also someone who enjoys DC's animated movies more than their live action offerings, because the former are more likely to be true to the source material in both content and spirit.

What's good?

1 - The animation and character designs.

2 - The SF background.

What isn't good?

1 - A convoluted plot full of holes and motivations that don't make any sense.

2 - How certain legacy characters are treated.

3 - Odd pacing.

I won't include any spoilers, but as the film progressed my interest and investment continued to diminish. My excitement at seeing a Green Lantern in action disappeared.

Animated DC can and has done better (in fact they do most of the time).

The Boy Behind the Door (2020)

Djinn Directors Step Wrong

[7/10 · 28 July 2022]

The focused, clever direction of The Djinn had me more than a little excited to see 'The Boy Behind the Door'.

It turns out to be a competent horror with a few tragic flaws. The first set are common in the genre, characters behaving unrealistically to advance the plot. The second is much worse: Certain scenes and dialogue are (non-organically) inserted to push an agenda such as you see daily on Twitter.

I hope this directing team continues to make horror films, but doesn't let outside forces interfere with their focus.

That Dirty Black Bag (2022– )

Shockingly Great!

[10/10 · 28 July 2022]

Spaghetti Westerns were a sub-genre of their time... A time I thought had passed. 'That Dirty Black Bag' proves me wrong!

The Spaghetti Western lives again and it is vibrant, violent and vivacious!

Clearly inspired by the past cinematic contributions of Sergio Leone and his lesser know compatriots, this show forges ahead with modern pacing, gripping characterizations and a developing plot line, drip fed over the course of the series. Unlike many post-modern series, it's not padded with dull scenes; this masculine masterpiece jumps from entertaining moment to entertaining moment.

A show for guys. Finally.

The Gray Man (2022)

200 Million That Looks Like 20

[5/10 · 24 July 2022]

The Russo brothers strike again. I'll break this down into positives and negatives:

Positives:

1 - The movie isn't preachy or tilting so far left that it repeatedly falls over.

2 - It appears to be trying to entertain.

Negatives:

1 - The story/plot has been done... a lot. If you can't make something original, at least make it good.

2 - The visuals are chock full of CGI, everywhere, all of the time. Most of it is very obvious and very bad. Much of it is completely unnecessary and representative of modern lazy movie making. If you can something practically, please do, your audience can tell the difference.

3 - The actors are cast for fame over talent. They're adequate but don't ever elevate the material.

4 - Dialogue is sometimes cute, but largely expository and cliched.

5 - Action scenes are poorly shot and edited without a clear visual flow. Much of what goes on is muddled and poorly choreographed. When CGI is involved (all the time), scenes are hidden behind smoke/mist/fog... a lot.

6 - It cost 200 million, but that's likely due to the inflated salaries of the Russo brothers and their stars. Little of that amount shows up on screen.

Farzar (2022)

Strikingly Amusing

[8/10 · 23 July 2022]

Netflix doesn't usually produce good comedy (good being defined as actually funny), so I was a little shocked that Farzar has a lot of laugh out loud moments.

The characters and situations aren't particularly original, but the comedy is rude, crude, rapid fire and for every miss there's also a hit!

Released at the same time as the rapidly declining 'Solar Opposites' (no thanks, I don't need a show taking a LEFT turn), Farzar's humor trumps that show!

It's funny and well animated. This one deserves another season (at least)!

Watcher (I) (2022)

Waiting for Something to Happen

[4/10 · 26 June 2022]

This is a movie all about waiting for something to happen. Some, might mistakenly see this as 'building tension'. The perceptive will realize that the movie could easily be compressed to 25 minutes and lose nothing of note.

When something finally does happen, being predictable, it's really not that interesting.

Watcher contains negligible horror and is more of a travel documentary for the day-to-day in Romania.

Ghosts (2021– )

Poor American Versiion of the Superior British Original

[3/10 · 16 June 2022]

As someone who has enjoyed all episodes of the original series, I sighed a little when I learned there would be an American version of 'Ghosts'. However, because Hollywood has a long history of remaking British shows, and sometimes it works out (The Office), I did have a little hope.

Sadly, the end result for 'Ghosts' is a very watered down version of the same. The original is sporadically funny, but always very clever. The American copy is never laugh out loud funny and only clever when directly aping it's progenitor.

American 'Ghosts' is simpler and much more effeminate in it's writing and foci. Unfortunately, it can also be preachy, and one character exists only to serve that purpose.

Skip it and go for the original, it's fresher and funnier.

Boss Level (2020)

A Lot of Action, A Lot of Fun

[8/10 · 11 June 2022]

If you're tired of movies with a 'moral' agenda, Boss Level is a pleasing break from the propaganda.

The story is amusing, the action is better than average and the actors involved aren't phoning it it. Grillo does a solid job and Mel Gibson is excellent as always.

Martyrs Lane (2021)

Disappointing

[4/10 · 12 September 2021]

As a lover of horror and specifically the sub genre of ghosts/haunted house films I was looking forward to this heavily hyped movie. Unfortunately it didn't deliver. Here's what you won't get:

1 - Any developed characters with dimension.

2 - Emotional connections that draw you in.

3 - A new story or a new spin on an old one.

4 - Technical competence.

Martyrs Lane is a clumsily told, simplistic story without scares. If I wasn't a lover of the genre I'd have to drop it's score to three.

Should the director of this film (or you the reader) like examples of what can be done when looking to create a touching tale of ghosts I'd suggest 'The Changeling (1980) which is the high water mark against which it's competition should be judged and The Orphanage. There are many others as well. Martyr's Lane is a forgettable genre misstep.

The Swarm (2020)

Overall an Unexciting Watch

[5/10 · 11 August 2021]

The set up and basic concept for the film are good (if not original) as is the handling of the locust farming. Unfortunately the lead character's story arc doesn't work particularly well. Worse, the horror elements are minimal and often sidelined. The end result is a film with little impact.

Note: As in 'Blood Red Sky' Netflix forces it's European productions to portray Muslims in a flattering light. In this case at least it isn't as unrealistic and forced as in the previous example. Still, this element weakens the movie further.

Drawn Together (2004–2007)

I Want to Stick and Stir This Show

[10/10 · 8 August 2021]

Absolutely brilliant completely politically incorrect comedy! It's all about being FUNNY and the creators know for that to happen they have to be merciless and fearless. You won't get this type of show in the Woke controlled present. It's everything they hate: Original, smart, irreverent and fun!

The Suicide Squad (2021)

True to the Source Material

[9/10 · 7 August 2021]

After suffering through many modern predictably dull superhero films more interested in advancing agenda than entertaining, The Suicide Squad reboot is a breath of fresh air for the genre.

Wonder Woman 1984, The Black Widow, Birds of Prey (among others)... All directed and written by people chosen for reasons other than any familiarity or passion for the source material. People who don't enjoy actions scenes (as is made clear by the movies they did make before being selected) or understand how to film them (even when they have the help of experienced DPs and editors). The Suicide Squad is made by James Gunn, the type of individual who understands the material and what fans of said material desire.

Suicide Squad is like a proper comic book. That's become so ironically rare in Hollywood that it's worth celebrating.

Black Widow (2021)

So Many Plot Holes

[3/10 · 30 July 2021]

Technically speaking Black Widow is poorly directed. The action sequences don't flow and are often visually confusing.

Regarding the writing, it's predictable, formulaic and contrived with flat characterizations and many uses of deus ex machina.

Important characters are not true to their original comic book counterparts.

Overall a disappointing movie clearly made by committee.