AshleyDenise Reviews

This Means War (2012)

Abysmal OR one gal's confused ladybrain is another man's pitiful excuse for a rom-com

[2/10 · 21 February 2012]

First, she's a lonely gal with a great job. Then SUDDENLY, she's irresistible to two incredible hotties? Nonsensical.

If that weren't enough to turn you away: the dialog is forced and nonspecific, the chemistry is nonexistent, Witherspoon phones it in. There's also a plot "twist" anyone could spy a mile away.

And if part of you is thinking "well, hey at least it's sort of progressive and enlightened to have one woman dating two men instead of the typical reverse," stop. I'd venture 75% of the film is Witherspoon blabbering about how her ladybrain can't handle being with two (soooo wonderful and handsome and blahblahblah) men. Ladybrains, can't live with 'em, can't make basic decisions in life with them. I mean, right?!*

*not right

The Last Kiss (2006)

the trailer lied

[2/10 · 17 September 2006]

The trailer is one big lie. That's the first thing to realize. It is not the film you picture in your head--that film I dare say would be much better. I'm trying to think of a way to describe it. Above all, it strikes me as a failed attempt at making the guy equivalent of a chick flick. The only problem is that while the vapid loneliness of the chicks portrayed in chick flicks is grading, the moral repugnance of the men in this film degrades the women they supposedly love or at least make love to.

All in all the film would be worlds better if it didn't suffer from a unbelievable lack of subtext. Also, the cinematography struck me as amateurish; the angles, the depth of field, and frame choices were poorly chosen. There was even a scene in the beginning of a film where they broke the 180 degree line, and not in a purposeful way. The acting wasn't terrible. I guess at least the soundtrack was good.

Rumor Has It... (2005)

A film that proves rumors are bad, really bad

[3/10 · 26 December 2005]

About halfway into the film, a few peripheral characters begin discussing movies, classic movies--Chinatown, Casablanca, the Graduate. One asks, "why don't movies like this get made anymore?" An ironic question indeed for a film that is 8 billion light years away from even hoping to be in the company of such films and spends the entirety of its screen time ripping off (poorly) classic films. I'd rather they re-release truly original, inspired films like the ones they mar than throw them in a blender and see what hodge-podge comes out.

Jennifer Aniston deserves a nod for flailing discreetly in the wimpy script and for acting like she even wanted to stand near Kevin Cosner, who has all the sexual magnetism of a dry flounder.

The movie-- if it does anything-- does one thing, it proves Shirley McClain's got it and she can fake it even when given a bad script. I give it a 3 because I laughed at least twice, Shirley McClain gets a point for sauciness, and the final point for the studio that had the audacity to have a love connection between a girl and someone who not 5 minutes before she thought was her father--wowzer.

Skip it. Rent the graduate. Rent Casablanca. Make Hollywood give us better films.