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Title: The Last Kiss (2006)
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| Cast overview, first billed only: | |||
| Zach Braff | ... | Michael | |
| Jacinda Barrett | ... | Jenna | |
| Casey Affleck | ... | Chris | |
| Rachel Bilson | ... | Kim | |
| Michael Weston | ... | Izzy | |
| Eric Christian Olsen | ... | Kenny | |
| Marley Shelton | ... | Arianna | |
| Lauren Lee Smith | ... | Lisa | |
| Harold Ramis | ... | Professor Bowler | |
| Blythe Danner | ... | Anna | |
| Tom Wilkinson | ... | Stephen | |
| David Haydn-Jones | ... | Mark (as David Haydyn-Jones) | |
| Cindy Sampson | ... | Danielle | |
 |
Lisa Hochstein | ... | Stripper #1 (as Lisa Mackay) |
|
|
Patricia Stasiak | ... | Stripper #2 |
Michael and Jenna, having been a couple for three years, want to get married and start a family. These plans seem to be well on their way when Jenna announces that she's pregnant. But Michael is worried that his life and his youth will be over for good. At a wedding of a friend, he meets a free-spirited college co-ed, Kim, who opens his eyes and leads him on a dangerous path away from Jenna. Meanwhile, none of the relationships of the people surrounding Michael and Jenna are happy and stable. Michael's friend Izzy is unwilling to let go of his childhood sweetheart Arianna; Kenny is a handsome stud who fears commitment to his latest conquest Danielle; and Chris is a co-worker who is dominated by his neurotic and overbearing wife over raising their newborn son. Even Jenna's parents, Stephen and Anna, are experiencing problems in their long-suffering marriage. Written by EdFlesch
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I almost need to develop a new vocabulary for how terrible this movie is.
The characters are undeveloped, uninteresting, unmotivated, unbelievable, and unsympathetic. Every role is compromised in the writing to be shallow and flawed, though no reasons other than "life is hard" are given for the flaws.
Does this make the movie "honest"? Hardly. It makes it a montage of clichés and stereotypes, with stilted dialog and horrible acting to go with it. Why do these characters even care about each other, much less me caring about them? That's just for starters. Even within any given scene, there are dialog and emotional inconsistencies. An actual line from what I think was supposed to be a dramatic break-up scene involves a woman opening a door and screaming "GET OUT!" to her husband. Seconds later, she says, "Go on, go if you want to!" What? Do you want him to get out, or go if he wants to? Again, I am sure plenty of folks (I am very negatively astounded that this movie impresses roughly 2/3rds of viewers) will consider that part "suitably confusing" and "true to the emotional nature of the scene". No. Well-written scenes remain consistent while still being packed with drama and real emotion. This was packed with TV-movie quality triteness, written by someone who apparently feels the need to preach at our faces and hit us over the head with how hard life is. Seriously, I have bruises.
Underlying ALL of this aggravating cinema is a distinct feel of victim mentality. EVERY character is playing the victim in this film. Poor me, deciding about marriage is hard. Poor me, holding a marriage together (or not) is hard. Poor me, life is full of temptations. Poor me, I thought I had it all together and now I am using platitudes to try to describe it to the world. Oh dear, it really could not have been a worse movie if it had tried. Maybe it WAS trying to specifically represent the worst way in the world to spend 100 minutes.