CIA agents and best friends Tuck and FDR have been benched because someone's after them. Tuck is divorced and not close to his son; FDR is a ladies' man. Tuck places his profile on a dating site; Lauren sees it and goes out with him. She later bumps into FDR; he hits on her and she goes out with him. She's intrigued by both of them. When they learn they're both dating her, they agree to let her choose, but they can't help using their skills to keep tabs on her and each other, and sabotage each other's dates with her.Written by
Both guys on the singles website on each side of Tuck's picture are crew members of the movie. They also show up in the video store database as FDR is searching for Lauren's information. The members were Jay Mitchell (set design) and Peter Stratford (assistant art director). See more »
The position of FDR's head changes after he passes out (from the "sleeping" dart Tuck shoots in his neck) while sprawled out on the couch. See more »
All eyes are up.
Sat cams are good.
Target is inbound.
ETA five minutes.
Mission is a go. Repeat, you are green to go. Intercept and apprehend the Heinrich brothers. Secure the device. And remember, this mission is covert.
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Home video releases of the film contain three alternate endings. In the first alternate ending, Lauren is kidnapped and taken to a warehouse alongside FDR and Tuck, where she is forced to choose which one of them will be killed by the other. The ensuing action leads to the car chase featured at the end of the film. The second alternate ending shows Lauren choosing Tuck over FDR, with FDR carrying on life as a singleton. The third and final alternate ending sees FDR holding Tuck after the final explosion, as Lauren looks on. See more »
A Really Stupid Film About Stupid People Doing Stupid Things
This Means War (2012)
* 1/2 (out of 4)
Best friends and CIA agents FDR (Chris Pine) and Tuck (Tom Hardy) finally hit the dating scene and both end up falling in love with the same girl (Reese Witherspoon). The girl, Lauren, is also just hitting the dating scene and is getting advice from her best friend (Chelsea Handler) who suggests she date two men and then decide which one is the best. Not knowing that her two men know one another, she sets out to see who is the best and the men decide to do war on each other. THIS MEANS WAR is a very, very, very stupid movie. Now, you might say that all romantic comedies need to be somewhat stupid and I think that's true but this film is so insulting to the three stars and their characters that I really wanted to jump through the screen and just scream at them. The three are constantly doing very stupid things that are just so over-the-top and out there that they're not charming but instead they're creepy. The fact that the two men, in the CIA. are using millions of dollars and high tech equipment to spy on each other is just a little weird. Even weirder is a scene where one of the men ends up having sex with the girl and since both have bugged her apartment with cameras their co-workers are back at the office watching them. You really have to wonder what these "agents" are supposed to be doing. Oh yeah, there's a subplot about them going after a bad guy but this entire thing is so unbelievable that you really can't take any of it serious. What's even worse is that all three of the characters, considering their professions, would have to be intelligent people yet they never do anything smart. They do nothing but something an uneducated moron would do and yet we're supposed to believe their characters. The Handler character is just there delivering very bad one-liners and the advice also seems so silly that you wonder why someone like Witherspoon would even bother with this person. I've been a fan of Witherspoon's since around 1991 and I must say that it's getting sad to see her in film's like this. Someone so talented delivering pictures like this and HOW DO YOU KNOW is just sad to see. Yes, she's "good" her but does it really matter when such talent is being wasted? Both Pine and Hardy are good in their bits but they too should be insulted by this screenplay (and happy with the paycheck I'm sure). This was my first time seeing Handler and I can't say I was impressed. THIS MEANS WAR is just a really stupid movie with stupid characters doing stupid things. Am I taking a comedy to serious? I don't think so especially when no one involved bothered to make it good.
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