Tons of spoilers ahead. So be warned.
I'm not going to lie. I deeply disliked this movie for various reasons. I'm giving it a review simply because I disliked it so much. But I'm not going to try and present my objections to the film in any organized fashion. This movie is not worth that much effort. So right off the top off my head, in no particular order:
1. Where did the aliens come from? Why didn't we ever get to see their home planet? We didn't even get to see any cool phony shots of them descending to earth from outer space. I knew the premise of the movie before I ever watched it, so I knew that some aliens were going to show up. But when I saw Jessica Tandy's window open, I thought, "That better not be an alien flying through that window without so much as ONE lousy glimpse into outer space." But sure enough, it was. What lazy cinematography/special effects. I am forever disappointed.
2. The ships did not CONTAIN aliens. The spaceships WERE the aliens: What? WHAT?! What ridiculously unbelievable pablum is this? There are no sentient, hyper intelligent beings who are responsible for piloting these small clunky bits of tin across the galaxies? Instead, the robot hubcaps are themselves electricity-hungry, benevolent, artistic machines who are inexplicably sentient? Okay. Fantastic. -_-
3. These robots were clunky, awkward and relatively brittle, but they somehow navigated themselves though the volatile, combustible ravages of space? We're supposed to believe that these robots can survive meteor showers. 1000s of degrees of heat when entering the Earth's atmosphere and withstand the crushing power of the sun's gravitational pull, when all it took was ONE good hit from Carlos's axe in order to "kill" the daddy robot? Something is amiss.
4. Where'd they get the bricks, leather and paint? Okay. So you're a little robot who knows how to work a screwdriver, and you like to eat nails (or so we're told by the senile old lady in the film. That's fine. I imagine that means you can fix a wonky toaster. But how in the world did you seamlessly and effortlessly "repair" torn, paper photographs? You can't fix a photograph with nuts and bolts. You can't repair old busted up leather chairs or windows with a screwdriver. So where did they get all of the materials they need to repair everything? Bricks? Mortar? Paint? Leather? Glass for new window? Fricking caulk and drywall? These robots could barely fly through the halls without bumping into the walls. But somehow they can magically flip an entire apartment building, complete with new plumbing and freshly painted walls in less than 24 hours? Okay. Fantastic.
4. These robots from outer space magically have outlets that fit 120V DC outlets. Okay. You can't even plug in a radio from the US into an Eu outlet without connecting a $50 power converter. But somehow these sentient, benevolent, space-traveling robots are designed to plug perfectly into US outlets? And how in the world did these robots travel a million miles across space, if they have to recharge themselves every 8 minutes? My cellphone has more battery power than that.
5. The robots had babies? Small ones? That will someone GROW? Whaaat?
6. The pregnant lady and the artist are falling in love. Right. Because we all know that selfish, 20-30 something self-absorbed artists are just WAITING in long lines to love and father the children of plain-faced women whom they barely know.
7. The artist called the "military" and "NASA" to see if they were "missing any robots or technology." Right, because our military intelligence is just waiting to field questions from random citizens so that they can disclose super-sensitive, highly classified information with you. And what number did he call? It took me 3 hours to even find the right number for the IRS to find out if my tax refund was ready, but somehow this unknown, unsuccessful, son-of-an-RV salesman artist knows just who to call to discuss a possible alien invasion. Okay. Fantastic.
So yeah, I'm done. I was so annoyed with this movie. Just weird and stupid. Too insulting to one's intelligence in order to be enjoyable.
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