bxhanx Reviews

Madame Web (2024)

Not worth the price of the ticket

[3/10 · 18 February 2024]

The producers and director worked incredibly hard to impregnate every super hero cliché possible in this laughable movie.

This plodding, pedantic foray into a pre-teen girl's fantasy is painful. The acting is nothing short of horrible. The script is ridiculously predictable. Perhaps worse, is the fact that the villain could get hit full speed by an ambulance and taxi and bounce back, yet get taken out by a metal sign.

The action is... isn't...

One thing is readily apparent; They are working hard to make M. Web into a Charles Xavier-type superhero mentor and advisor. It doesn't work.

The laughable glasses she sports in the end are so absurd that they aren't even slightly funny. The fact that they put this blind caricature of a superhero in a motorized wheelchair added to this farce of an action, superhero movie.

This film has no redeeming qualities. The direction, the action, the inconsistencies, the acting, the effects, all fall short of even the most basic requirements for a somewhat decent superhero movie.

The only thing worse would be if they made a sequel. Hopefully this ludicrous franchise dies here.

Madame Web isn't worth your time.

65 (2023)

Good fun

[7/10 · 12 June 2023]

The special effects and CGI in this movie have become par for the course in all movies with dinosaurs, monster sharks, etc.

It's unfortunate that we take that creativity and tech for granted now.

As for the rest of the movie, it starts off fast but slows down somewhat in places.

The reason I give this movie a 7 star rating is because I really enjoyed Adam Driver's acting. His acting was so good that the CGI and special effects became secondary to enjoying the movie, as it should be.

There were some incongruities in the movie, but nothing that would demand your attention unless you were looking for issues to nitpick.

Ariana Greenblatt's acting was good, but like with CGI and special effects these days, child actors are expected to be better than ever, especially teens.

I like the movie enough that I bought it on Prime.

American Horror Story: Chapter 6 (2016) Season 6, Episode 6

More twists and turns than an Agatha Christie novel

[9/10 · 8 August 2021]

I love classic horror, and shows/movies that pay homage to classic horror and slasher flicks, all the way back to the original Nosferatu. I love the modern horror movies that people like James Wan, Eli Roth, Rob Zombie, and others make. Throw in some suspense and twists and turns and you have the perfect horror movie, or, in this case, series.

This season of AHS fits the bill, almost completely. There are so many twists and turns that you're never comfortable that you might actually know what is going to happen. The surprises keep coming, and the gore isn't over the top, but it's more the idea of what is being done to some of the victims. Although, with that being said, there is some fairly graphic gore. It's not the cheesy gore of Raimi movies, it's intense.

There is no shortage of "star power" with Kathy Bates, Cuba Gooding, Jr., Angela Bassett, Wes Bentley, and Adina Porter. Throw in AHS mainstays Sarah Paulson, Denis O'Hare, Even Peters, Cheyenne Jackson, among others, and you have a solid foundation.

Perhaps the greatest aspect of season 6 is that it doesn't make you feel like you're watching the same AHS actors in "just another story." You completely forget about their other forays in AHS because this season demands your complete attention. If you miss a minute of it, you'll need to rewind to keep up.

As far as horror series, this one is a 10. Pit it against horror movies, and it's a 9. I only gave it a 9 because there are some fairly apparent goofs that should have been caught. But, it's easy to overlook those goofs if you're keeping in tune with the story.

It's definitely worth watching.

I Had a Bloody Good Time at House Harker (2016)

Feel-good vamp movie worth watching

[6/10 · 6 August 2021]

I love B-movies, I love indie movies, I comedy troupe movies, and I love movies that don't take themselves too seriously. This movie met all of those criteria.

That's not to say that I'm biased. If anything, I was skeptical. Usually these movies aren't worth the 90 minutes it takes to watch them. 4But, this movie doesn't get ahead of itself, and it doesn't draw out the movie for length of time (comes in around 80 minutes).

I love all horror, from Evil Dead to The Conjuring universe. It's nice to have a little comedic relief from time to time. If there has even been a "feel good vampire movie," this is it. The movie does this while paying homage to horror classics such as The Exorcist, Dracula, Evil Dead, etc.

The humor is good-natured and lighthearted. It's obvious that these guy truly enjoyed making this flick, much like The Broken Lizard crew does. It is easily with the 80 minutes needed to watch it.

I have no connection to anyone in this movie, the distributor, the studio, etc. I simply think it's a fun movie and gave it 6 stars. I will be watching it again a few more times.

Take Shelter (2011)

Worth watching twice.

[8/10 · 27 July 2021]

Michael Shannon is on a different level in this movie. It almost feels like this movie is going slow, but when you buy into it and understand what it's like in the mind of Curtis (Shannon), the movie isn't slow at all. He creates this entire character more with his looks and actions rather than simply with his words. The emotion on Shannon's face throughout the movie is the anchor for this entire movie.

Every scene seemingly takes the movie to a new depth of emotion. You can't take your eyes off of the screen. Shannon's work is almost impeccable.

Jessica Chastain (Samantha) brings one of the best supporting roles of her career. You empathize with Samantha every time she's dealing with repercussions from Shannon's actions. Her work is fantastic and creates a perfect frame for Curtis' emotional turmoil. She is stoic, maintains her composure while holding the family together and dealing with Curtis.

The movie reaches deep inside you as it brings out deep emotions and implores you to question everything.

A Christmas Carol (2019)

Dark and brooding - Worth watching

[8/10 · 24 December 2020]

I have trouble rating this movie because I can only rate it against other remakes. The tale is a story that I don't believe can be rewritten, reimagined or improved on when it comes to the book. The story is so unique that I believe the only way to properly examine it is to compare it to the other remakes. My favorite ACC is the one with Patrick Stewart as Scrooge. Yes, I know George C. Scott's version was quite nice, but there is something about an Englishman acting in a English tale that is so intrinsic to the literary greatness of England. But, in Stewart's version, I really didn't like the costume of The Third Spirit. I found it distracting, rather than imposing or dreadful. Scott's version was fine, and the best adaptation of the time. This version, Guy Pearce's, written by Stephen Knight, digs deep into the story and giving additional reasons for Scrooge's resentment of humanity. Knight is a solid write, who also wrote Dirty Pretty Things, for which he received an Oscar nomination. He also wrote Eastern Promises, Locke and Peaky Blinders. That should have been some hint as to the path this movie would travel. Guy Pearce brings works hard to bring new depth and reason to Scrooge. The script, while dark, is consistent and rather than paint Scrooge as a simple, resentful man who chose profit over love, it paints him a deeply scarred and hurting person. Pearce does a masterful job of bringing the pain to the screen. Some have panned the movie because they say is hints at child sexual abuse. It does hint at child sexual abuse, and while that isn't part of the original Dickens tale, adding it allows Knight to take the character to new depths and surface with a heretofore unseen complexity that wraps him like a cloak. The evolution of the man from miser to reveler, embracing all that is Christmas, is a long journey. But, you're never bored. The movie requires that you pay attention lest you miss something important. Originally the movie was shown in 3 parts, but FX is now showing it as one movie, 3.5 hours in length. I find this much easier to watch than watching it in 3 different parts. The movie didn't need to be broken down into those 3 sections, for it is powerful enough to hold an audience for 3.5 hours. I think that it is worth the time to watch it. It's dark, but it's not over-the-top skewed with endless, mindless surprises for the sake of nothing more than trying to shock the audience. This movie never raises its voice, but it speaks loudly. Pearce is one of the few actors who could have carried this beloved story that was turned dark, but not brooding. I give it 8 stars because I will watch it at least three or four times a year.

The Legion (2020)

Better to chew on broken glass than to watch this movie.

[1/10 · 13 May 2020]

I'm a fan of movies, a huge fan. I'm a newspaper editor and an author and I always look for the good in everything. There is always a positive to be found and I even like some of the under-the-radar-rarely-watched movies. But this movie can make me a pessimist in a heartbeat. It was just downright terrible. This was director Jose' Magan's first experience behind the lens and his first experience at writing. If he were in college, he'd get an "F" and probably be required to repeat every class from kindergarten through grad school. As a producer, none of his movies from The Malevolent to Stranded have fared well at all. But, Magan wasn't the only one mixing the batter. Pedro Santamaria also ventured into the world of story writing and writing screenplays. It was his first attempt and if he should learn anything, it's that you need someone in the room with you who says, "Don't do that. It's a bad idea." The premise is that a young legionnaire and his legion are trapped by a superior force. The superior force gives the legion 3 days to surrender. The general believes they can stall them 7 days, giving the young legionnaire time to go for help across mountains and deserts. Yet even if he mad the trip in 7 days, it would take a relief force several additional days to come to the rescue since 1,000 men move slower than 1 man. But, that's just a technicality. So the legion would have to delay that final surrender by at least a fortnight. Mickey Roarke plays General Corbulo (based on the ancient Roman general). In his command tent, he has a bust of Nero that he constantly talks to. And it just gets stranger. He also wears heavy makeup. And he wears an eye path over his left eye. And sometimes he doesn't wear that eye patch. And that eye is actually fine, so why the patch? No reason given. Then there is Corbulo's French Manicure... Yep, it's a beautiful manicure, especially for a crazy man who wears way too much makeup and cries while talking to his bust of Nero. I would critique the acting, but there actually isn't any "true" acting in the movie. Magan must have given the instruction, "I want everyone to be as morose and sad as they can possibly be." The movie's ship was sunk before filming ever began. The story was shoddy. The screenplay is worse. The direction was non-existent. There is a reason directors don't get always get to do their pet projects. The movie wasn't "artsy." It was just bad. The legionnaire running for help, Noreno (Lee Partridge) doesn't do a bad job, but he doesn't do a great job, either. This was his 7th movie, all subpar, and his second movie under Magan. Boa-Ling played an advisor to Mickey Rourke's Corbulo. Her performance is straight out of a 1980s Conan or Beastmaster movie. And it should be sent back in time to those movies. Her performance is ludicrous. I honestly put this in my top 3 worst movies of all time. It's horrendous from the directing to the acting to the producing to the writing. This movie didn't hit on any cylinders and is better relegated to the burn pit. The story is lumpy and never has a flow to it. It's just terrible.

Batwoman (2019–2022)

Tries too hard to be something interesting

[2/10 · 27 October 2019]

We know it was going to be dark, but to be darker than Batman? Batwoman tries entirely too hard to create story lines and to tie characters together. It's to the point that the series, thus far, has been nothing but cliche'. If this series was trying to capitalize on Gotham's success, it failed miserably. Gotham has worn out it's story lines and plots and this series does nothing to bring something new and exciting into the DC realm. The show isn't even close to being a pop culture phenomenon, even though it apparently tries to. Batwoman is a lesbian. That's fine, it's keeping up with current times and isn't completely surprising. Batwoman has daddy issues, nothing new there. A woman with daddy issues; not surprising. Supervillain is turns out to be Batwoman's missing sister. Did anyone NOT see that coming? Batwoman feels that daddy loved presumed dead baby sister more than her and has jealousy issues. The series was mundane after it's first episode. The producers and writers missed a great opportunity to make a Batwoman an interesting, dynamic and exciting show. Where the show could have made strides, the writers seemed to have lost any notion of creativity and said, "Let's wrap up Emo-Batman over the last 30 years and make him a woman." Ruby Rose adds nothing to the role. She's like a cardboard cutout up there, just going through the motions without the emotion. Her acting is lackluster and it's a shame because if the powers of the CW had let her creativity run loose, she could have made the role hers and made it genuinely exciting and interesting. I don't know if there is time to turn the series around because it received a great deal of negativity almost from the beginning. There appears to be no interest from the viewers in seeing if anything worthwhile develops with the series in the future. I gave the show 2 stars only because I reserve 1 star for the worst of the worst, like The Banana Splits movie.

Joker (I) (2019)

Phoenix rises!

[10/10 · 20 October 2019]

I've watched and rated 2,183 movies on IMDB. Rarely have I given a movie a 10/10 rating. "On The Water Front," "The Imitation Game," "White Heat," "Rocky," "It's a Wonderful Life," "Brian's Song," "How Green was my Valley," and "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid," have earned 10s from me. I've written biographies for over 100 actors, directors, producers and others involved with movies and television. I've watched every genre of movie from "The Human Centipede (Do NOT watch it - filthy gore!)", Brokeback Mountain, Blue is the Warmest Color, House of 1000 corpses, Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, The Toxic Avenger, 12 Years a Slave and many more. Most of the movies I watch and rate aren't worth ever watching again. "Joker." When we walked out of the theater, I was trying to remember who was in the movie other than Joaquin Phoenix. I mean, Robert De Niro is it and his performance, while well done, wasn't even a shadow of Joaquin Phoenix's performance. About 5 minutes into the movie you stop thinking, "That's Joaquin Phoenix" and thinking, "I hope this is as good as they say," because the movie pulls you into. Joker is a part of almost every human being who has walked this earth. He's been abused, he's believed lies that he thought were true, he's had his world turned upside down, he's felt lost and alone, he's looked for love, he's wished for better things, he's worked to try to make his life better and failed, he loves his mother, has been fired from his job, has had a friend turn on him, has had his dreams stomped on, etc, etc, etc... You see his life in the span of the 2 hours and 2 minutes in the theater. You feel every ounce of his pain. You feel his sorrow, you feel his hope, you feel his confusion. Joaquin Phoenix draws you in as deeply as any actor has ever done. As I watched this movie with my wife, I was constantly amazed at that the twist and turns caught me so off guard. Until now, I've never felt that there was a movie that would ever top, "On the Water Front," or "It's a Wonderful Life." Perhaps this one doesn't top them but the main character draws you in just as deeply as Brando and Stewart's characters did in their respective movies. This movie isn't so much about entertainment as it is about being a tour through the human mind, following the path from a passive introvert as he turns 180 degrees around and has suddenly evolved into a monster. The cinematography and colors are wonderful and add a dimension to the movie, just as the music does. But I think the most important part of this movie is that the director, Todd Phillips, took his hands of the reins of Joker and let Phoenix explore every nuance of his personality and develop one of the most fantastic characters in the history of movies. Phoenix controls the screen, not with a heavy handed manner, but as human being going through torments and sorrow that you can't take your eyes away from.

The Banana Splits Movie (2019)

Do not waste your time on this drivel.

[1/10 · 26 September 2019]

If you want to 89 minutes of your life, this is the way to do it. You'll be left with the "WTH did I just see?" There isn't anything quirky or artistic about this movie. I went into it with reasonable expectations. I was a fan of The Banana Splits when I was a kid in the 60s. I though it was an interesting concept to turn them into serial killers. For one, the acting is about as absolutely bad as it can be. I've seen more emotion from a dead armadillo lying in the middle of the highway. Even the "over the top" characters weren't "over the top," they were just boring. Every minute of this movie is boring. It's so bad that you almost think that they intentionally made it this boring. The special effects were not special. Every prop was poorly created. Even the "guts" looked like something a freshman in high school would create for a school play. The murders weren't even creative. It's bad, just plain bad. Don't waste your time.

The Crowded Sky (1960)

The "disasters" in this movie are the writing and acting...

[2/10 · 24 July 2019]

I was surprised at how bad this movie is. I grant that it was 1960 and I'm a child of the 60s and understand that movies had only really been exploring disasters and special effects for a handful of years. But, there isn't any excuse for the poor acting and deplorable writing that went into this movie. It's as if the director, Joseph Pevney wrote this movie off before he ever started filming it. Granted, he wasn't known as one of Hollywood's premier directors but he could have at least TRIED to make it work. The acting would have been better with cardboard cutouts. That's a shame considering that it has Efrem Zimbalist, Jr. in it. Kennan Wynn could also have done a much better job but he seemed to just be going through the motions like the rest of the actors. He was the most unflashy Hollywood playboy, Hollywood playboy character that has ever been portrayed on film. For an actor with so much range his work was probably the most disappointing to me. The "thought sequences" and flashbacks were disjointed and most of them failed to contribute anything to the overall story. I gave it a "2" because it wasn't "The Beast of Yucca Flats" (1961), which is quite possibly the worst film ever, and I think Yucca is the only film I've ever given a 1-star rating to.

Captive State (2019)

Good movie

[8/10 · 11 July 2019]

This isn't an epic film by any stretch. It's not a bang-up alien action flick. What it is, is a showcase of John Goodman's absolute mesmerizing talent on the big screen. Goodman's acting, along with a strong supporting cast, brings you into the movie and keeps you guessing. At one point you think you have figured it out and then a couple of minutes later you aren't so sure. The guessing game continues and while it's not the most climactic ending, it's a solid ending. The story slows at some points but never enough to cause you to divert your attention to you dog licking his balls beside your recliner while you daydream about, "What if?" I enjoyed the movie and when you accept it for just being a good story that had a solid premise, even if it fully failed to achieve its potential, you enjoy it more. It's worth watching if for no other reason than to have John Goodman capture your attention and imagination. His performance draws you in deeply.

The Shelter (I) (2015)

Make it stop.

[1/10 · 11 June 2018]

I've been a Michael Pare' fan since he was in The Greatest American Hero starting back in 1981. I also enjoy Indie movies. Most times I enjoy Indie movies more than the big budget flicks. I also like northern European television shows and movies. This seemed to be a low-key, big time, gritty northern European-style flick. I thought it had great possibilities and looked forward to watching it.

About twenty minutes into it, I thought, "Well, it's started kind of slow but will probably pick up a bit." No, it did NOT pick up. As I watched it, I soon realized that his would be more effective torture than waterboarding. I kept watching it and I just wanted to make it stop. But, I couldn't. I had to see it through to the end. I thought that maybe I had missed something along the way so I'd rewind it here and there. It didn't help. It only prolonged the agony.

It just droned on and on and in so many places there was no explanation for the events. It was disjointed, it was slower than pond water and it really possesses no endearing qualities. Sometimes, like with "Napoleon Dynamite", I'll maybe not get the premise of the movie so I might watch it again and find that the second time, I actually liked the movie. There is no way in hell that I'll watch this movie again. I could not wait for it to end. I wanted to quit watching so many times but I kept hoping some of the events in the movie would be explained. Didn't happen. Someone said that this was a "Christian" movie. Well, if so, then Christian movies are boring as hell. This is not an "in-depth character study." It's the experience of drowning and waiting... and waiting... and waiting for the end to come.

The end, much like my first marriage, couldn't come quick enough.

Rarely will I give a movie simply one star. I tend to see the good in movies, if nothing else, if I can understand the time and acting investment in a movie and appreciate it for that, even if it doesn't gel.

I couldn't do that with this movie. I can see nothing in it. Nothing at all. I want that 76 minutes of my life back... Really I want 228 minutes of my life back because I feel that that movie was three times as long as it actually was.

The Snowman (2017)

Great Potenial That Never Delivers.

[5/10 · 23 February 2018]

I'm trying to really be objective with this movie. I'm a fan of northern European movies and shows. I watch "Hinterland", which is what I thought the flavor of this show would follow. It did not.

First off, I hate that Val Kilmer has suffered from cancer but the terrible dubbing of his voice set the movie off on the wrong foot. Thankfully his part was mostly unspoken because every time that dubbing took over, it grated against my brain stem like a horny dog dry humping a fence post. Still, I hoped it would overcome that failing. It did not. It just got worse.

The mood of the northern European style was still in the movie and I continued to hope for the best. Then JK Simmons, with his Kevin Costner-esque Robin Hood accent, failed terribly. It started to seem like a joke after that. Then the topless shot of the woman at the party brought nothing interesting to the table. It seemed to start to be disjointed at that point. At this point I was going to finish the movie no matter what. Mainly because I like Michael Fassbender, Rebecca Ferguson and Jonas Karlsson and was hoping that they were offer some redeeming quality to the movie. They did not.

While their performances were not terrible, the direction was terrible, the story continued to be disjointed and even the decent performances by some of the cast were not able to save it. It would have taken a miracle to bring this picture together. This is what happens when a director does not follow a clear and logical path to the conclusion. Tomas Alfredson loses focus and what should have been a stellar movie, falls well short of its potential.

Much like Michael Mann did with Heat, which was a remake of his failed "L.A. Takedown", I hope that they remake this movie in the next couple of years. Michael Mann took a great story line, his own failed movie and then remade it better than it probably would have been to begin with. I hope they do that with this movie, perhaps bringing in Ed Thomas or Gareth Bryn to direct the next one.

It Comes at Night (2017)

The movie never achieves suspense or drama.

[2/10 · 15 October 2017]

If there were a writing class or theater class for 6th graders for "Introduction to Suspense", this would be it. It's a very poorly executed movie.

In the beginning, you Joel Edgerton is almost a "Walter White" Breaking Bad type character except instead of having cancer, he's facing "the sickness" that has wiped out the population. You start feeling some empathy for Joel as he tries to take care of, protect and provide for his wife and son.

Then he decides to take in a family that is also caught up in the apocalypse. It almost reminds you of Rick Grimes in The Walking Dead, as he takes in and takes care of others.

The plot shows great potential about this point. The story of the family that he takes in shows some inconsistencies in the man's story. Unfortunately, the movie never builds on this. It's just left for the viewer to digest. Riley Keough's character was never developed. It's a shame because she showed promise and I thought for sure she was going to play into the story line more. But, it wasn't meant to be, apparently.

There are no unexpected plot twists or surprises. It's a very underwhelming movie. What it seems like is that some studio was under contract to make this movie and they just threw it together to say that they did it.

Split (IX) (2016)

Intense Movie, in all the right ways.

[9/10 · 29 April 2017]

I should start this off with stating that I'm not an M. Night Shyamalan fan. I've only blandly enjoyed one of his previous efforts. This movie went way beyond anything that I was expecting.

The intensity is thick in almost every scene. There was not a point where I felt that the movie slowed down or went off point. It continually surprised me, even at points where I expected something to surprise me.

James McAvoy aka Dennis / Patricia / Hedwig / The Beast / Kevin Wendell Crumb / Barry / Orwell / Jade is the best bad guy since Buffalo Bill and Dr. Lecter. We've been waiting for a bad guy of this magnitude to grace us with his presence and he arrived in this movie. McAvoy's portrayal of the various personalities is electrifying. His ability to switch from one personality to another in the blink of an eye, with not hint what-so-ever of the previous personality is Daniel Day-Lewis worthy. No one sold out on this movie. From the director to the actors, you could see that everyone was on top of their game and taking their various roles seriously.

Betty Buckley's performance as a supporting actor was pulled off almost perfectly. You believed what she said, you believed that she believed in what she was saying, even when talking to the panel via Skype. Her portrayal of Dr. Fletcher was solid from the start.

Casey, Claire and Marcia made you genuinely feel their fear. When their hopes were dashed, your heart sank. Casey's manipulation of "Hedwig" was perfectly pulled off. As for McAvoy, you felt as though you were actually watching a nine year old boy talking. The interaction between those two alone made the movie worth watching.

The cinematography was perfect. The grittiness of the place coupled with the cleanliness of the rooms and the changes in lighting really set the mood for each scene. Rather than the low lighting wanting to put you to sleep, it added to the intensity.

The final scene made you feel sorry for an abused little boy and for the trauma he must have gone through to have reached such extremes. You don't even see the killer at the point until he spends that last few seconds revealing that he was going to be the new dominant personality.

There is much more that is wonderful about this movie but I'll leave that for people to see for themselves.

Beauty and the Beast (I) (2017)

Middle Age Fat Guy Likes It.

[9/10 · 12 April 2017]

OK, so I'm a middle aged fat guy, former soldier and retired cop. Hard ass never liked musicals in my life. I couldn't stand "Oklahoma", "West Side Story", "Guys and Dolls", etc and I'm a HUGE classic movie buff. Loved the ones NOT musicals and absolutely refused to give any Disney musical even a chance at entertaining me. If it was guns, explosions, hot chicks in Daisy Dukes, I was all for it. I loved the ones like "Marty", "On The Water Front", "Casablanca", etc. Still wasn't going to watch a musical.

Then this movie came out and I saw the previews. I found myself watching the previews every time I came to IMDb to write about some subject. It slowly started creeping into my conscience. All I knew is it had that little girl from the Harry Potter movies that my boys so loved growing up.

Then I heard her sing and it grabbed me by the heart. This last Christmas I spent with the Moscow ballet and so I was already into ballet and music. Just not musicals but her singing had me telling my wife, "We're going to see that when it comes out." I've literally seen thousands of movies in my life. I used to work at a cinema. I can tell you the movies that I have actually paid to see at the theater more than once: "Star Wars (original)".... "Terminator"...."Spaceballs"... "Unforgiven".... "Schindler's List"... "Saving Private Ryan"..... "Beauty and the Beast". I don't care about Oscar winning movies. I watch them because if someone asks about them, I'll actually know what I'm talking about.

I'm not gay but I watched "Brokeback Mountain" just so I could tell people that they were full of bulls**** when they trashed it. People never saw it and just drove it into the ground. When it came to BATB, I heard people passively talking about it as, "Just another Disney musical that we might take the kids to see." 50 years old.. 250 lbs retired soldier and police officer... Has testicles firmly in place.. Married... Kids are grown and living in the world... I look like a cross between Tom Arnold and Alfred E. Newman..... and I not only paid twice to see it, I'm going to take my wife and watch it a third time tomorrow.

I can tell you the CGI/Human interaction is incredibly detailed and perfect. All of the characters bring energy to the story in their own way. The casting was damn near as perfect as you can get in a movie of this scale, requiring so much talent. The acting was believable, the singing was encompassing and vibrated your heart. I kept waiting for a "slow" part so I could run to the restroom. The movie never slowed down a bit. It kept going right along, smooth transition from scene to scene, the music keeping you involved. I was enthralled.

Go see it. If you need a middle aged fat guy to go with you so people don't think that you're a creeper, call me. I've seen it alone and you do get strange looks. But it's worth the strange looks.

I hope you do go see the movie and I hope that you enjoy it.

Bill

Panzer Chocolate (2013)

Better to spend your time chewing glass than watching this move.

[1/10 · 15 March 2017]

I love B movies and especially B movie horror movies. I like those quirky kind of things and odd story lines.

With that being said... This movie is absolutely horrible by any standard. I'm the only one writing a review because no one watches this kind of drivel. There is no continuity with the story line. Even the gore isn't all that great. The Walking Dead has better gore than this "horror" movie.

Either the German accents are horribly distorted on purpose or it's just really lousy acting. This movie has no redeeming qualities. I'd rather got walk on nails than watch this movie again. The director must have slept through the filming because it appears to have no one directing it.

I can't believe it even went to DVD. It should have been trashed and burned in the film room.

In a Valley of Violence (2016)

Slow and predictable.

[4/10 · 10 November 2016]

While this movie isn't as bad as it tried to be, it's still not great.

The plot is slow moving and predictable. I know it was supposed to be made, based very loosely, on Clint Eastwood's spaghetti westerns but it's not even close to that level. Besides, Eastwood never told anyone his name in the movies, you just saw the tombstone.

From the time Gilly starts harassing him in the bar, you know exactly what is going to happen. You can predict scene after scene and it brings nothing special to the screen.

Ethan tries hard to look the part with his eyes and his gravel voice is decent but as for the other non-speaking action from Travolta to Ransone, it's severely lacking. Travolta could have been a little more convincing if he had tried but this looked like a half-ass attempt at acting in his first western.

I don't know what they were thinking with the flashback scenes and it was confusing. He says he left his wife and child but you see a dead woman and child in a flashback. He says he's a killer but obviously he's not in the sense of the old westerns.

The flashbacks were so poorly approached that I had to fast forward the movie through them because of the way they were filmed, looking like someone was holding a bad flashlight, it was hard to follow along and try to see what the director was trying to convey.

Finally, the cliff scene is so unbelievable it's unfathomable. They throw a man off a cliff and he survives, walking fine, no problems, etc. He obviously hit rock and fell through some brush so you'd think he would at least have a few scrapes and bruises but there isn't anything there to indicate he had been thrown down a cliff.

I don't mind the wasted time watching the movie once but I won't watch it again.

Star Trek: The Next Generation: Sarek (1990) Season 3, Episode 23

*Spoilers* Patrick Stewart steals the show

[10/10 · 30 August 2016]

One of the wonderful qualities of Patrick Stewart is that he can either steal the show or step back and allow another actor to take the focus and shine. It is by far one of his greatest strengths.

In this episode, when Patrick Stewart has Sarek's emotions, his acting is top notch. The emotions he transitions between move along seamlessly. You feel a great deal of empathy for him and, moreover, for Sarek, even though Sarek isn't in that scene. Picard is actually acting two roles at the same time and he's phenomenal. I am blown away every time I watch this episode. The depth of acting talent and a lifetime of work go into this one scene. This episode easily stands as one of the top 10 TNG episodes.

Dark Moon Rising (2015)

There are no words to accurately describe how bad this movie is.

[1/10 · 12 March 2016]

Atrocious.. Awful.. Terrible.. Horrendous...

None of those words accurately convey just how bad this movie is.

It his the bottom of the meter on writing, directing and acting. I only gave it a 1 because I felt obligated to write this review of it. I really don't know how it could have been worse.

I enjoy a lot of B movies because sometimes they're so bad that they're funny. This one actually had some promise and I thought for sure it would be worth the time to watch it. In the end, I couldn't even finish it. There was absolutely nothing in the acting or directing or special effects to keep me watching.

Typically at least the props department and directors/supervisors are good about putting proper time period props. This didn't even come close. It isn't worth the time to point out all of the anachronisms.

Do yourself a favor and skip this movie.

Friday the 13th: The Series: Stick It in Your Ear (1989) Season 3, Episode 5

Average Episode.

[4/10 · 6 July 2015]

A "mentalist/magician" comes into possession of a hearing aid that allows him to hear the thoughts of other people.

Much like many other shows that go along with the "Magician Makes A Comeback" type story lines, our magician in this episode is of course down on his luck and failing miserably.

Once he comes into possession of the hearing aid, it obviously reboots his career and he fires his partner. Big surprise, eh? When using the hearing aid for his act, he reads other people's thoughts and impresses them. Then he learns that he can use the hearing aid to get payback at other people by essentially killing them with their own thoughts.

Eventually he becomes a victim of his own evil when outsmarted by the group attempting to recover the item.

This is a very average episode and the acting isn't nearly up to par. That combined with a storyline that has been used since the 40's.

Also, it doesn't hold up well considering all of the potential they had with the freedom of telling the story in the "Friday The 13th" manner.

Gunsmoke: A Noose for Dobie Price (1968) Season 13, Episode 25

Chill Wills at his best.

[10/10 · 15 June 2015]

Chill Wills plays a former outlaw, Elihu, who goes with Matt to search for his old gang.

Along the way, the real reason for him tagging along with Matt is discovered. The interaction between Matt and Elihu is wonderful as they search for Elihu's old gang, which is being run by his cousin, Dobie. You see two seasoned actors who truly enjoy their craft and are at their best.

The main allure of this episode of Gunsmoke is that this was one of Chill Wills later roles in life. He did a fine guest appearance and it is worth watching if you are a fan of Chill. He could bring a real genuine charm to a character or bring a tough, grittiness, whichever is called for and sometimes both in the same movie or television episode. That is fully the case in this episode. His interaction with Matt at the beginning shows his earnest desire to help, he is genuine and you feel that he is a man who has made mistakes and is ready to make things right. But later, when he is around his old gang, you see the gritty side, the side that exerts complete control over a gang of ruthless men.

It is a fantastic episode on many levels and well worth watching.

Wicked Tuna (2012– )

Excellent show without too much ridiculous drama.

[9/10 · 1 June 2015]

Wicked Tuna is a great program for people who enjoy the fishing reality shows but don't enjoy all of the b.s. over dramatizations that accompany most of the other shows.

It's easier to keep up with the boats and crews since they are significantly smaller than the other commercial fishing vessels. It seems that you get a more intimate look at the captains and crews and you can feel the rivalry between boats. You also see the amount of respect that the crews have for each other.

The most recent season (2015) had only 4 of the original vessels and one new one but with a repeat captain.

FV - Pin Wheel, Capt. Tyler McLaughlin FV - Hot Tuna, Capt. T.J. Ott FV - Tuna.com, Capt. Dave Carraro FV - Hard Merchandise, Capt. Dave Marciano FV - Kelly Ann, Capt. Paul Hebert

Capt. Hebert has been on the show all of the seasons but he changes boats since he tends to wear out his welcome quickly. He's hard headed, arrogant and makes poor decisions. He's season totals are evidence of his many problems.

The crews seem to be made up mostly of family members and don't tend to be more than one captain and 2 or 3 crew members. The Pin Wheel started out with the captain and 2 crew but is now down to Tyler and one deckhand as is the Hard Merchandise. FV - Tuna.com has Capt. Carraro and usually 2 or 3 deckhands. The Hot Tuna with T.J. Ott has 3 deckhands. One is his father, another is his brother and then there is a third member.

You will have to watch it to learn more about the crews.

Overall, you get up close and personal with the crews. You feel the competition, you enjoy the sport of it and you learn a good deal about the state of the tuna fishery.

When they take their tuna in to sell, they get weighed and they examined. Then the offer is made. Anywhere from $12 per pound to well over $20 per pound. It's fun to try and guess how much they are going to be offered for their fish. I'm usually off by about $2 per pound.

The one thing you do see is how much the crews really do respect each other. They are all good people and have a good time. You feel their aggravation when they've been fighting a tuna for an hour and the hook pulls close to the boat or when they hook up and get the fish to the boat just to find out that it is a shark.

And, the best part about this show is that it is family friendly. There is some bleeping out but not like on other fishing reality shows. There are also teaching points along the way and you can keep your children interested.

Basically, it is a great family friendly show, with solid competition and makes for an enjoyable hour of family viewing.

The Andy Griffith Show: Three Wishes for Opie (1964) Season 5, Episode 14

One of the best TAGS episodes of all time.

[10/10 · 18 August 2014]

Barney and the supernatural is always a combination for good comedy. Add Goober and Floyd to the mix and you get a hilarious combination of the super-funny! Barney buys some fortune telling cards and an old lamp. He gets a book learns just enough to earn some laughs. Opie gets 3 wishes, 2 of which come true as does a wish that Barney makes. Andy, as always, tries to bring some common sense to the table but as everyone knows, when Barney gets on a tear, he's gonna be on it until it runs its course. The séance scene with Barney, Floyd and Goober is classic and makes this one of the best TAGS episodes ever.

I won't spoil the ending for you but you won't be disappointed.