Alpbat Reviews

West Side Story (2021)

See 1961 movie and avoid the ugly remake

[1/10 · 26 December 2023]

The Spielberg movie starts with shots of garbage and ends up to become a garbage remake of the fantastic Robert Wise.work.

Those who have given high scores in their reviews should be regarded with doubts and suspicions as this one was a flop and have not attracted audiences who rightly refrained from throwing their money in trash bin just to harm eyes and minds. When you see the original and its casting it really sucks to stand to see the insipid actors of the remake. Do not waste your money for it even on.streaming,Netflix, so on. The original is wonderful in all aspects: acting, choreography and direction.

Napoleon (2023)

Napoleon not a joker

[4/10 · 22 November 2023]

The first thing about this movie is miscasting of Napoleon and the first role which tries to depict a rather aggressive character of Napoleon. The film could not be taken as a landmark movie about Napoleon. Ridely Scottwho makes movie every two years could not be compared to Masters of filmmaking such as Stanley Kubrick who wished to make film on this personality. Despite existence of some spectacular sequences it would be advisable to not to pay ticket price and wait for a TV showing.soon. It is one of the movies that could be better enjoyed in your living room unless you are looking an action adventure for spending your time outside your home. It is difficult to accept it as a sincere historical drama.

The Little Mermaid (I) (2023)

Below expectation, even for kids

[1/10 · 29 May 2023]

What we expected from this live action remake was a spectacle.afloat with.new ideas and genuine and attractive scenes that.could take you to an adventurous journey and to open new windows to discovering a sensible way of life. The cliché idea to look beyond a fishbowl is so old and repeated in bed time stories and children's films.while lacking any special attractive features makes this film a boring class of senseless or at best repetitive notions that does not satisfy neither adolescents nor children, not to say enriching their cultural background . Adding to the above is.below average casting and insipid characters struggling to create a climax that could not ramp up.

If you wait for a TV showing sometimes later you could bear it while checking you mobile or doing housework. Though, even for a long weekend it is not worth paying ticket price. Keep the money in your pocket and find a better way of spending it at this time of high inflation and high interest rates.

Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)

Everything about donation (not prizing) of an Oscar to Ugly images

[1/10 · 13 March 2023]

I should have saved my money not paying the ticket price for this movie and not to listen to pre-oscar predictions, nominations, sick-minded propagandas for sick minded producers of this garbage images; not even attributing it to movie or cinema as art or industry.

The film which is full of incoherent/ugly and mind disturbing images and noises is a terrible insult to viewers' intellects and their presumed capacity to distinguish good from bad, beauty from ugliness and good substance in story development and a garbage bin of ideas treated to become film. The theme and story is so messy and worthless that I do not have to write any more about it and also about those who donated an Oscar to it while disregarding artistic values & aesthetics. The contents, direction and ugly casting is evidently so low and downgraded that it is not worth to spend any more lines on this, let alone paying a single penny to watch.

Avatar: The Way of Water (2022)

exotic visuals could never replace genuine beauty and loveliness

[1/10 · 15 December 2022]

No matter what would be the message of the movie -and the way it is nurtured from today's world political agenda - and no matter how exotic and seemingly spectacular visuals and scenography of the movie are, the same elements (more artificial than natural) could not bestow charisma and beauty to the Avatar's cast and its respective bad casting.

Just remind yourself of- and take a look back at many classical masterpieces and the genuine beauty of their casting as well as their masterful directions- this movie is far from satisfying your eyes and mind: particularly if you are looking for good sense and loveliness. The movies such as Avatar series just intend to infuse enormous exotic scenes and actions together with ugly and unsavory cast so that you forget the genuine beauty and to convince you that this would be the movie that justifies spending your money to pay for entrance ticket at this hard time of inflation and high interest rate and finally to convince you to accept the ugliness of the cast as something a la mode and modernity.

In short; I desire to have my money and time back which is impossible; rather I urge you to keep the ticket money for this movie in your pocket and find a better way of using it than nurturing the producers that use ugly images in a colourful manner.

Elvis (2022)

Elvis...!? But No Elvis....

[1/10 · 13 July 2022]

The director Baz Luhrmann pretends to do classy (!) jobs in his profession; but his last works such as the disastrous "Australia" or the mediocre Great Gatsby as well as the recent one prove that he is nothing beyond a fake cinematic intellectual and a narrow minded moralist pretending to be doing correct job !

As far as his latest title movie "Elvis" is concerned just forget the notion that you will refreshen your memory of Elvis Presley. The young actor falls way short of impersonating Elvis Presley. All the Buz Luhrmann's flair in trying to convince viewers that his Elvis is so realistic and so similar to the iconic singer, is to take shots of the young actor from behind : the trick which has, repeatedly, been performed in other biopic films in the past.

Tom Hanks is ludicrous is his acting and another proof of miscasting and low-grade direction. Overall, the lead roles lack charisma and appeal.

To enjoy Elvis Presley and his songs go to YouTube and avoid paying for a movie that gives a disastrous portrayal of an iconic musician.

The movie is not worth to be discussed beyond this.

Ennio (2021)

ENNIO: the melodies that could excel dialogues and enrich images

[10/10 · 22 March 2022]

Gone is the era when movie musicians were composing melodies that could last and impress your minds and souls: Max Steiner, Dimitri Tiomkin, Alex North, Miklos Rozsa, Leigh Harline, Alfred Newman, Henry Mancini, ......

Ennio Morricone stands out in styles and in volume of excellent works he has created throughout long periods of his life.

The subject movie is doing a right job paying homage to this outstanding composer. It penetrates into our subconscious and make us understand that film music is not a deafening/repulsive noises added to other noises on the images on the screen. Rather, film music /soundtracks such as those of Morricone could nestle in our minds and souls forever ; to make us nostalgic and to remind us of critical/ memorable moments in life.

Tornatore has done a great job at the right time when ugly noises abound on the screens, worsening ugly images.

The beauty of Ennio's work is eternal, rare and unforgettable. It is worth paying any price to watch while tightening your purse for many terrible movies mostly on screens or Netflix.

Free Guy (2021)

close ups that suck

[5/10 · 6 September 2021]

As most reviews admit Free Guy is a popcorn movie to pass your time.

However there are flaws that make your popcorn and time taste a little bitter and unpleasant. Particularly, the close ups of the other guys behind their laptops; the ones which appear many, many times and often unnecessarily so much so that the action scenes and their continuity, as well as the joy of spectators, are disrupted.

Mr. Director, Mr. Studio cut many of those embarrassing close ups.

Johnny English Strikes Again (2018)

Johnny English fatigue; enjoy filming locations.

[2/10 · 30 June 2020]

The last of Johnny English should be the last of the series as it demonstrates how exhausted Rowan Atkinson is; lacking vitality and new humours he and his films used to have in previous works.

Very boring in actions and in its cliché plot from the beginning, the film hardly attracts attention. Other actors and dialogues lack intelligence and charm including Emma Thompson who also seems to play the role of a weak Prime Minister, lacking any charisma.

All in all, you can leave the movie once in a while and come back again without missing anything just to end up with a formulaic, predictable ending. Just don't watch and listen to the actors and focus more on castles and beautiful sites and locations where it has been filmed.